Not long ago I heard a comment from depth psychologist, Dr. Craig Chalquist, that caught my attention. He said for people who rage, their problem isn’t that they are angry, it’s that they aren’t consciously angry. That rings true for all emotional states I think. We can get consumed by a feeling to the point that we forgo our best judgement and make a situation worse.
As I often remind my children, there is nothing wrong with WHAT you feel but HOW you handle that feeling is your responsibility. Emotional regulation is a necessary part of maturation and, like any skill, it requires practice. We have to be intentional if we want to grow.
It’s normal to have strong emotions at times, and occasionally we all make the mistake of reacting before pausing. Yet it’s the pause that is key. The pause gives us a chance to make our feeling conscious, to reject any harmful impulses, and to uncover the WHY behind our feelings. From there we can determine the healthiest response.
When might taking a pause serve you best?
May you be inspired!