Ruptures Require Repair

A few months ago a confidant of mine gave words to a dynamic I know to be true. It was a very useful insight for me, though simple and somewhat obvious. He shared how harmful it is in our relationships when there are ruptures that happen without repair following them. When ruptures aren’t repaired, the pain accumulates. As this pattern continues, the negative impact is compounded. Consequences follow. If you are on the receiving end of multiple un-repaired ruptures in a relationship, it’s likely you will lose hope, and any sense of connection with that person will shut down. And the greater the mistreatment, the greater the hurt, anger and despair. This is the personal level of how injuries left unaddressed divide people. 

Our nation continues to see what this pattern of ruptures without repair looks like on a societal level, when people are horrifically abused by inhumane, criminal, and fatal acts. And these ruptures don’t just span just one lifetime, but generations. We have a very ugly history of racism that we need to face, a history of trauma that goes back hundreds of years. (See: https://www.history.com/…/black-hi…/black-history-milestones) A history where any inch toward “repair” hasn’t typically come from the conversions of the oppressors themselves, rather they have been demanded from the people abused and those willing to stand with them. 

Is it really repair when the mindset that delivered the abuse isn’t truly altered? When the only reason the abuser is doing the “right” thing now is because they are being forced to? That does not deliver the healing and growth that is so desperately needed. That’s not reconciliation with the promise to do better going forward. 

So how do we eradicate ignorance and indifference? How do we soften the hearts hardened by propaganda which fuels fear and hate? How do we stop prejudice and discrimination? How do we promote genuine inner transformation? 

It’s an overwhelming task, but as my faith-filled “little brother” in Kenya would say, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” And in my soul I hear an invitation for each of us: 

Let it begin with me. 

Education, awareness, understanding. 

Let it begin with me. 

Listening, speaking, praying. 

Let it begin with me. 

Dignity, respect, compassion. 

Let it begin with me. 

Repentance, forgiveness, peace. 

Let it begin with me. 

Commitment, solidarity, trust. 

Let it begin with me. 

Advocacy, protection, love. 

Let it begin with me. 

We must wake up to what is our part. We must realize that ruptures require repair if we ever expect things to get better, both in our personal lives as well as our communal lives. Let us all embrace the evolution we are being called to right now. 

May you be inspired!

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