I care about the environment, yet I drive an SUV some of the time. 

I am a vegetarian who sees no need to kill fellow mammals for human survival in modern life, yet I cooperate in feeding our daughters venison my husband gets on his annual hunting trip. 

I consider myself a practicing Catholic, yet I challenge some major teachings of the Church, adhering to my conscience over the magisterium. 

Contradictions — I live with them for sure. 

If ever there is a time to see one another living with contradictions, it is during a presidential election year. Many of us are baffled and frustrated by the views others hold when they are not compatible with our own. I personally struggle to understand how some people I love take an approach of “the end justifies the means” in democracy. But, then, admittedly, I’m an independent who is critical of both major parties and isn’t fixated on a single policy. Rather, I try to sniff out virtue. Whoever my gut reads to be a more principled human being (note: not perfect) typically ends up getting my vote. Policies come second to decency for me because without confidence in one's ethics, what good is their word on what they promise. That said, I’m certain some people who respect me might be confused by my method for choosing leaders as much as I’m disturbed by theirs. 

The incongruity I perceive in both myself and others causes me to marvel at how complex people are, how we can somehow compartmentalize aspects of ourselves. If, however, we aspire to living an integrated life — one of integrity — then we need to ask some big questions: 

1) What are my values? 

2) Why do I value what I do? 

3) Who or what do my values affect? 

4) Where do I have values that contradict one another? 

5) How do I determine which value will take precedent when two or more clash? 

6) What are the short-term consequences of choosing one value over another? 

7) What are the long-term consequences of prioritizing a particular value? 

8) What small step can I take to work toward synthesizing incompatible values, so as to live a more consistent life? 

This process is both contemplative and active. We must seek out our blind spots and get honest about the limitations of our perspectives. We must also try earnestly to learn about how others experience our choices and find compassion for them and the world around us, aiming to consider it all. 

The answers we get may not be satisfying and our discernment may not lead to total clarity, but I think character is built in the effort to choose wisely, to care enough to be invested and intentional. As the well-known Thomas Merton prayer says to God, “ the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you…” In other words, we may not always end up making the best decisions, but we sure ought to try. 

Living with contradictions is part of the human experience. Nevertheless, let us do our part to narrow the gap between our said ideals and beliefs and our choices. We won’t get there overnight, but bit by bit we can move toward living a more genuine life. 

May you be inspired!