Stay Out of It

The 12-step program called Al-Anon (for loved ones of a problem drinker), teaches members to not manipulate situations to cover up for another’s poor choices, or to try and save them from the consequences of their misdeeds.  This guidance can be applied to all of our relationships wherein we have a tendency to over-function, albeit with good intentions to save another from distress.  However Al-Anon goes so far as to say we are “not to prevent a crisis if it is the natural course of events.”  This can be incredibly difficult to do, especially when the situation involves someone close to us.  But there is wisdom in such a boundary.  It allows for the best teacher to come forward: life experience.  After all, the results of one’s own choices make far more of an impact than someone else’s interference ever could.  Not to mention we sometimes do more harm than good when we are merely trying to “help” a situation.

To “stay out of it” may be the most loving thing we can do for someone else, allowing them the dignity of their own decisions.  It could also be the most loving thing we do for ourselves, allowing us the freedom to take responsibly for what is actually ours to do.  

May you be inspired!

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