My big brother recently shared with me a phrase he picked up at work (He’s a Police Lieutenant.). It says, “That which you allow, you encourage.” This is not a phrase just limited to crime, however. To me, it speaks to relationships — with loved ones, neighbors, colleagues, representatives, and, perhaps most importantly, ourselves. It speaks to demanding that we and others be treated with respect, dignity, and compassion. 

Maybe we can think of it a little bit like the old game, “Red Light, Green Light” when examining our interactions. We are the leaders of our own lives, after all. We get to declare, at least internally, “Red Light!” whenever we judge something is not healthy for us, whenever we feel a given behavior is diminishing us and needs to stop. And for that which uplifts us, that which we know is life-giving, we can encourage it with an internal, “Green Light!” Welcoming in the goodness that is there for us to enjoy is equally as important as halting the unnecessary negativity. 

Pay attention to that which you are allowing, or not allowing, and see if it’s what you actually want to encourage more of in your life or not. When we tune in to that still small voice within, the one that guides us to healing and wholeness (i.e. our "red lights” and “green lights”), we can better commit to invaluable self-care. 

May you be inspired!