tag:tammywinn.com,2005:/blogs/words?p=2
Words
2024-02-20T15:10:23-06:00
Tammy Winn
false
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7354397
2024-02-20T15:10:23-06:00
2024-02-20T15:16:51-06:00
To Wait
<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/f0937b722badcaeb7446312fb2577ce0096a4c49/original/holiday-4369987-1280.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" /><p>Our culture does not like waiting very much. Yet waiting is a discipline that often gleans great rewards. Gardeners experience this as seeds planted take weeks or months to begin to sprout. A youth saving their earnings to finally purchase a desired “big” item learns the value of waiting. Expectant parents wait through the gestation period of multiple seasons before greeting their precious babe face to face. In each case the end result is well worth the wait.</p><p>However, waiting can also be a time laden with worry and helplessness. We may wonder if medical test results will reveal a serious illness. Or perhaps we wait to see if a relationship will heal in time. In situations such as these, we may not get the happy ending we long for, but there is still grace in the waiting… because, as we wait, we learn to surrender to that which is not in our control and, in doing so, we move closer to the Great Mystery who holds it all. </p><p>The invitational space of waiting humbles us to realize, yet again, that there is a God and it is not any one of us. There is freedom here. Yet to wait is not to be idle. We can do our part to prepare and pray. And we can practice the one thing that is always available to us while we wait, that is, love.</p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7346873
2024-02-06T12:56:54-06:00
2024-02-06T12:56:54-06:00
Support Healing
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/989d52790fd51e4bb9f41c05d241f7f50b76778e/original/rosie-sun-rtwhmfsoxc8-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />We are often too quick to judge others who have made poor life choices, thinking they deserve the bad consequences that follow.<span> </span>Yet if we swim upstream a bit, and peer more deeply into what has led them to this point, we uncover cues for compassion, not criticism.<span> </span>This process can take time, patience, and a commitment to seeing the bigger picture.<span> </span>And when we stay the course we find that things like trauma, abuse, neglect, ignorance, and lack of awareness may have played a role.</p><p>I<span>t is a context which forms people and we, as part of society, contribute and participate in that context. When we begin to see our own responsibility in the matter, we can use our agency to promote change. Starting with ourselves, we can make decisions to support one another’s healing and restoration.</span></p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7337274
2024-01-20T10:52:57-06:00
2024-01-20T10:52:58-06:00
Stay Out of It
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/26f902313f23e5fae27bb23f6247180414513f78/original/elisa-ventur-bmjaxaz6ads-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The 12-step program called Al-Anon (for loved ones of a problem drinker), teaches members to not manipulate situations to cover up for another’s poor choices, or to try and save them from the consequences of their misdeeds.<span> </span>This guidance can be applied to all of our relationships wherein we have a tendency to over-function, albeit with good intentions to save another from distress.<span> </span>However Al-Anon goes so far as to say we are “not to prevent a crisis if it is the natural course of events.”<span> </span>This can be incredibly difficult to do, especially when the situation involves someone close to us.<span> </span>But there is wisdom in such a boundary.<span> </span>It allows for the best teacher to come forward: life experience.<span> </span>After all, the results of one’s own choices make far more of an impact than someone else’s interference ever could.<span> </span>Not to mention we sometimes do more harm than good when we are merely trying to “help” a situation.</p><p>To “stay out of it” may be the most loving thing we can do for someone else, allowing them the dignity of their own decisions.<span> </span>It could also be the most loving thing we do for ourselves, allowing us the freedom to take responsibly for what is actually ours to do. <span> </span></p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7333083
2024-01-12T16:26:26-06:00
2024-01-12T16:26:26-06:00
Inner Peace
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/f1891c6e6d7052c6609c62afda2e662dee9547d8/original/dulcey-lima-j2mcb-ra5uo-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, was answering a question posed to him regarding inner peace in one of his talks.<span> </span>The person argued that they could not possibly cultivate inner peace when there are so many atrocities in the world.<span> </span>Eckhart’s response was a great reminder for me.<span> </span>He said if you wait until there are no troubles in the world to make your inner peace a priority, it will never happen.<span> </span>Furthermore, the only way to address the problems of the world is by cultivating inner peace.<span> </span>The more people who do so, the healthier society gets.</p><p>Peace is, at first, an inside job.<span> </span>From there we can let it grow.</p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7329481
2024-01-06T15:06:06-06:00
2024-01-06T15:06:06-06:00
Two Aspects
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/4b2415f8f91472e71fe60fa0253a26e63df9f166/original/dino-reichmuth-d6ydsisni4w-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The French Jesuit priest and philosopher, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, once said “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”<span> </span>Indeed we have two aspects about ourselves — one mortal and the other eternal.<span> </span>Both serve a purpose, but the one upon which we focus can have quite an impact on our state of mind.</p><p>When we are oriented on our mortality we tend to think in terms of lack and limitation.<span> </span>We race the clock to get our tasks done.<span> </span>We see finite resources and opportunities.<span> </span>We feel our bodies aging and are acutely aware of the impermanence of everything.<span> </span>Worry and fear dominate our thoughts as we cling to that which has never been ours to keep.</p><p>Yet when we are oriented on our eternal nature, we are inclined to think in terms of possibilities.<span> </span>We savor being present to each moment as it unfolds.<span> </span>We feel healthy and optimistic.<span> </span>We gaze in awe and wonder at the beauty and mystery of it all.<span> </span>A sense of calm and peace takes the lead as we know deep inside something larger holds us.</p><p>To have this human experience of mortality is a gift to be sure.<span> </span>Let us focus on its grander context, however — that of our eternal nature — and give rise to our spirits.</p><p>May you be inspired!</p><p><a class="no-pjax" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/songsstoriessoul/"><u>#SongsStoriesSoul</u></a><span> </span><br><a class="no-pjax" href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/mayyoubeinspired/"><u>#MayYouBeInspired</u></a><span> </span><br>#PierreTeilharddeChardin<br>#TwoAspects<br>#EternalNature</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7326240
2023-12-31T15:00:00-06:00
2023-12-31T15:00:01-06:00
Bring Peace
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/2fcf6ac6a22ed6001e35e179c732e32f30f573fe/original/jonathan-meyer-e9ihjxscv48-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Peace is NOT the opposite of trouble or hardships; it is the opposite of worry and fear. <br>Peace is trusting that, despite the suffering we face in life, Love can never be destroyed.</p><p>Peace is NOT the opposite of differences or challenges; it is the opposite of violence and cruelty.<span> </span><br>Peace is listening for the ways authentic Love creates intricate harmonies to honor the dignity of everyone.</p><p>Peace is NOT the opposite of uncertainty or confusion; it is the opposite of madness and despair. <span> </span><br>Peace is responding to the unpredictability of life with an inner knowing that God’s intelligent Love will guide us.</p><p>The peace that trusts, listens, and responds — all with Love at the center — is ready to be our companion. Let us each do our part to bring this peace into the New Year ahead. <span> </span></p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7323012
2023-12-24T09:36:59-06:00
2023-12-24T09:37:00-06:00
Celebrate Companionship
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/6efd7e5ae0b3a98b73e02bd24bf6468ea7ca0f25/original/christmas-tree-2909020-1280.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />“Christmas is the renewed invitation not to be afraid and to let him—whose love is greater than our own hearts and minds can comprehend—be our companion.”<span> </span></p><p><i>— Henri Nouwen</i></p><p>The greatest ingredient in love is freedom.<span> </span>Love does not exist without it.<span> </span>To love is a choice.</p><p>In the joy of Christmas, we are reminded of the opportunities to love.</p><p>We can choose faith over fear.<span> </span>We can trust in the companionship of a God who has gone before us and is with us still.<span> </span>We can answer the call from Love to love.</p><p>Merry Christmas!<span> </span></p><p><i>How might I celebrate the companionship of Jesus this Christmas?</i></p><p>May you be inspired!</p><p>NOTE: This reflection is part of a Reflection Series initially published by <a class="no-pjax" href="https://taucenter.org/"><span style="color:#208070;"><u>Tau Center</u></span></a>. You can view the entire reflection here: <a class="no-pjax" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/5bf92715-3a2f-8327-dff2-1e6ce77932b3/Still_Point_Advent_2023_compressed.pdf?mc_cid=74897de8ad&mc_eid=57dd53c3be"><u>Still Point</u></a>.</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7323009
2023-12-23T06:00:00-06:00
2023-12-23T06:00:02-06:00
Help Deliver Hope
<p><i><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/49d7759e7dfcef156ed49296c6b14b935cf11f70/original/casey-horner-265ujrslgd8-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />“To you we say</i><br><i>‘Come, Lord Jesus.’</i><br><i>Amen.”</i><br><i>— From “Advent Prayer” by Henri Nouwen</i></p><p>We have grown confident in God’s solidarity with us.<span> </span>There is an intimate, timeless connection.<span> </span>With hopeful expectation we are ready to welcome the illumination of Christ.</p><p>The time of transformation is near.<span> </span>We beckon the Midwife of our soul.<span> </span>Love is ready to be born once more.</p><p><i>How can I help deliver Love into the world now?</i></p><p>May you be inspired!</p><p>NOTE: This reflection is part of an Advent Reflection Series initially published by <a class="no-pjax" href="https://taucenter.org/"><span style="color:#208070;"><u>Tau Center</u></span></a>. You can view the entire reflection here: <a class="no-pjax" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/5bf92715-3a2f-8327-dff2-1e6ce77932b3/Still_Point_Advent_2023_compressed.pdf?mc_cid=74897de8ad&mc_eid=57dd53c3be" data-link-type="url">Still Point</a>.</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7322999
2023-12-22T14:03:43-06:00
2023-12-22T14:04:19-06:00
Awaken to the Sacred
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/f1d129e933a271dfeea707c974b01b54775d0e94/original/pablo-guerrero-ez-lfrs6nmi-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />“We whose hearts are heavy<span> </span><br>seek the joy of your presence.<span> </span><br>We are your people,<span> </span><br>walking in darkness yet seeking the light.”<span> </span><br><i>— From “Advent Prayer” by Henri Nouwen</i></p><p>Life weighs us down with fear, sadness, and grief.<span> </span>We long for a Holy Embrace to comfort us.<span> </span>“If we could just find God,” we think, “we would be okay.”</p><p>It feels like we are traveling aimlessly.<span> </span>Yet somehow we muster the courage to put one foot in front of the other. <span> </span>In doing so, we discover that despite all that clouds our hearts and minds, our souls still know the way to the Sacred.</p><p>This movement is less about arrival and more about awakening.<span> </span>It is an understanding that we have always been held by the One for whom we reach.<span> </span>And so we finally rest in that presence; our souls are ready to rejoice.</p><p><i>How do I awaken to the Sacred?</i></p><p>May you be inspired!</p><p>NOTE: This reflection is part of an Advent Reflection Series initially published by <a class="no-pjax" href="https://taucenter.org/"><span style="color:#208070;"><u>Tau Center</u></span></a>. You can view the entire reflection here: <a class="no-pjax" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/5bf92715-3a2f-8327-dff2-1e6ce77932b3/Still_Point_Advent_2023_compressed.pdf?mc_cid=74897de8ad&mc_eid=57dd53c3be" data-link-type="url">Still Point</a>.</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7317910
2023-12-11T22:56:57-06:00
2023-12-11T22:56:57-06:00
Love is on the Way
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/7a3b3cad76535c9d80b3ed463801bef8ff92c75c/original/photo-1515890435782-59a5bb6ec191.webp/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />“We who are anxious over many things<span> </span><br>look forward to your coming among us.<span> </span><br>We who are blessed in so many ways<span> </span><br>long for the complete joy of your Kingdom.”<span> </span><br><i>— From “Advent Prayer” by Henri Nouwen</i></p><p>To worry about day to day struggles, one’s community, and the world around us is quite a common practice.<span> </span>Problems never cease — neither do blessings.</p><p>Grace reminds us that every challenge holds opportunity.<span> </span>We need patience as we anticipate the incarnation of Love.<span> </span>Trust is required.</p><p><i>How does it feel to know Love is on the way?</i></p><p>May you be inspired!</p><p>NOTE: This reflection is part of an Advent Reflection Series initially published by <a class="no-pjax" href="https://taucenter.org/"><span style="color:#208070;"><u>Tau Center</u></span></a>. You can view the entire reflection here: <a class="no-pjax" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/5bf92715-3a2f-8327-dff2-1e6ce77932b3/Still_Point_Advent_2023_compressed.pdf?mc_cid=74897de8ad&mc_eid=57dd53c3be" data-link-type="url">Still Point</a>.</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7314248
2023-12-04T11:18:41-06:00
2023-12-04T11:25:04-06:00
The Invitation of the Dark
<p style="text-align:center;"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/6c369e7934a85ddfa145feeb86956d9dd8abfc84/original/david-gabric-wmnkhdjets-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />“Lord Jesus,<span> </span><br>Master of both the light and the darkness,<span> </span><br>send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas. <span> </span><br>We who have so much to do<span> </span><br>seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day."<br><i>— From “Advent Prayer” by Henri Nouwen</i></p><p>Light and darkness.<span> </span>One defines the other.<span> </span>Gestation happens in the dark before birthing into the bright outside world.<span> </span>That time of waiting is anything but passive. It is a time of growth and evolution.<span> </span>It is a time of getting ready for the light that is to come.</p><p>Amidst all of our preparations, we must not miss the invitation from the dark.<span> </span>It calls for us through the shortened days.<span> </span>The deep, rich, blackness offers us rest.</p><p>We can give up our resistance to the dark and let it hold us.<span> </span>We can choose to trust the process of spiritual maturation while we wait in the quiet, dark silence.<span> </span>Here God’s voice becomes distinct and audible. <span> </span></p><p>How will I answer the invitation of the dark?</p><p>May you be inspired!</p><p><i>NOTE: This reflection is part of an Advent Reflection Series initially published by </i><a class="no-pjax" href="http://www.taucenter.org" data-link-type="url"><i>Tau Center</i></a><i>. You can view the entire reflection here: </i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/5bf92715-3a2f-8327-dff2-1e6ce77932b3/Still_Point_Advent_2023_compressed.pdf?mc_cid=74897de8ad&mc_eid=57dd53c3be" data-link-type="url"><i>Still Point</i></a><i>.</i></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7266370
2023-08-31T13:02:49-06:00
2023-10-16T08:56:12-06:00
Recognizing the Sacred
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/74f3bf4965e3a8b9523b04da8b92f94d6113b83f/original/marcos-paulo-prado-llrqf5jfris-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />At one point in the Christian Scriptures, Jesus asks his friends, “Who do you say that I am?” Some interpret this question as Jesus wanting to be sure they know he is the Messiah. Yet I doubt Jesus was seeking status recognition. Instead perhaps, in his humanity, he was longing to be seen and really known. Or maybe, in his divinity, he was curious if they were ready to recognize the Sacred dwelling among them and within them. </p><p>Merging the human and the divine, we can ask this question of ourselves today: Do we see and really know one another’s sacredness?</p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7254828
2023-08-09T18:00:05-06:00
2023-08-09T18:07:23-06:00
The BIG Thank You
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/838e9189c973866a061fba763c5b3c01d252ceca/original/tyler-lastovich-ljppo4jhvas-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />In graduate school my synthesis work involved Interreligous Dialogue.<span> </span>This developed in me a deep respect for the world’s major religious traditions.<span> </span>I appreciate the way my view expands when learning about how others comprehend the Divine.<span> </span>Along the way I’ve also encountered folks near and dear to me who have concluded that there is no God.<span> </span>This too is a belief system and I can understand how one might arrive there.<span> </span>I aim to not judge what is not my experience.<span> </span>There is no need to be threatened by our capacity to think differently from one another.</p><p>The above in mind, I recently came across a song I co-wrote with a friend a long time ago.<span> </span>The chorus says:</p><p><i>What reaches me</i></p><p><i>Beyond philosophy</i></p><p><i>Is not what has been</i></p><p><i>But what could be</i></p><p><i>And at the end of all,<span> </span></i></p><p><i>When your ashes fall,</i></p><p><i>Who will you say thank you to?</i></p><p>At the time of writing it I was wondering where one goes with the gratitude that wells up in us at times — for the many gifts of life including life itself — if not to something bigger than ourselves.<span> </span>Sure, I express my thanks countless times to others who are responsible for certain good deeds.<span> </span>Yet there is another kind of gratefulness that does not correspond to anyone’s direct involvement.<span> </span>It’s a gratefulness that I think exceeds what any of us can hold.<span> </span>For me, it’s so compelling that I cannot help but aim it toward a Source beyond me.<span> </span>That Source could be considered Love itself, the Cosmic Energy that creates and sustains life, the Holy Mystery that fosters our capacity for meaning and purpose. <span> </span></p><p>Some call it God or the Great Spirit or Higher Power or Adonai or Lord or Allah or Universal Christ or Brahman or Waheguru or many other names.<span> </span>Yet on one level these terms are simply vocabulary.<span> </span>In actuality what we are talking about here is beyond words. <span> </span></p><p>In the end, for me, it is that ineffable Entity of Love, larger than the sum of its parts, to whom I direct the BIG thank you.<span> </span>How about you?</p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7242448
2023-07-21T09:00:00-06:00
2023-07-21T09:00:07-06:00
The Presence Prayer
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/1b506a9c8aff745ae9883bd79db8240b93c64b76/original/paulius-dragunas-nhs0slan1is-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Lord, bless this day before me;</p><p>That I may live grounded in your Presence —<span> </span></p><p>Peaceful,</p><p>Productive,<span> </span></p><p>and Playful.</p><p>Amen.</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7242444
2023-07-19T11:00:00-06:00
2023-07-19T13:46:11-06:00
Knowledge, Will, and Power
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/bd686f8f6b7c2120f797f4c8349cf597ac322bf7/original/prottoy-hassan-0e1pyojm4cy-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Part of my wellness practice includes attending Al-Anon meetings.<span> </span>Al-Anon is a support group for people with a loved one who suffers from alcoholism.<span> </span>Members of Al-Anon practice the same 12 Steps that folks in Alcoholics Anonymous use.<span> </span>These steps can be life-changing, especially when applied to the challenges of life.</p><p>At a recent meeting, a member reminded me of one way we can pray when we find ourselves in uncertain territory.<span> </span>She borrowed words from Step 11 as she suggested we pray “only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.”<span> </span>What wisdom!</p><p>Rather than seek our will, we can ask for God’s.<span> </span>That takes some pressure off of us to figure everything out on our own.<span> </span>And once God’s will becomes clear, we can ask for the power to carry it out.<span> </span>Again, the burden is lightened when we plug into the Power Source, rather than rely solely on our own strength.</p><p>Prayerful discernment take time, but we don’t have to go it alone.</p><p>May you be inspired!</p><p> </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7242430
2023-07-17T11:15:00-06:00
2023-07-17T11:20:02-06:00
Room for Love
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/da0420f9761eb6a96a703e6136547a15737ad825/original/jaelynn-castillo-gx-nmkwmhxg-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Sometimes love requires healthy space and clear boundaries.<span> </span>I heard a few quotations recently that capture this truth.<span> </span>I’m not sure who first said them but they go something like this: <span> </span></p><p>“A boundary is the distance from which I can love you and me at the same time.”<span> </span></p><p>“I’m going to keep this person as close as I can keep my heart open.”</p><p>“My no is protecting my yes.”<span> </span></p><p>Notice we do not omit the love.<span> </span>We do not close our hearts.<span> </span>And we preserve the value of “yes.”<span> </span>In other words, we allow room for love.<span> </span>But this love must include prioritizing our wellness.</p><p>May you be inspired! <span> </span></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7242423
2023-07-15T10:23:02-06:00
2023-07-15T10:23:03-06:00
Not Another Log
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/b8b174159f2fcae53fc3c0704593cb274842cf27/original/log-g5e861eb36-1280.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />There is a wise saying that goes, “If you want the fire to go out, don’t put another log on it.”<span> </span>This is great advice when you find yourself in an unproductive argument with someone.<span> </span>Our egos are easily triggered to react, defend, or justify ourselves.<span> </span>Before we know, we’ve forgotten the matter at hand and have taken the bait of offshoots that derail and prolong the conversation fruitlessly.<span> </span>Each time we do, another log is placed on that fire and time and energy are wasted.<span> </span>Instead of bringing more wood to the pile, let’s step back from the fire pit and embrace silence.<span> </span>The other individual may attempt to keep things burning but, if we do not add another log, the fire will eventually go out.<span> </span></p><p>It’s a simple but effective approach:<span> </span>not another log.</p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7229012
2023-06-19T12:53:52-06:00
2023-06-19T12:53:52-06:00
We Are Beloved
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/820d704b4b5c808b0b3e4b60acaa8d667fe85fb3/original/nick-fewings-0ogq3xndxg0-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p><p>I had a philosophy teacher who made a compelling argument that every artist leaves its imprint, in some way, on the art they have created. Thus, every piece of art teaches us something about the artist. If God is the artist of the universe, then what do we — as works of art — reveal about God? </p><p>One revelation is consistent: Love. The imprint of Love is on us. We are all creations of Love. We are Love from Love, beloved by the Source of all life. </p><p>Beloved means to be dearly loved. Have you forgotten your beloved-ness? I think we all do from time to time. But this is who we really are, no matter what, whether we realize it or not.</p><p>And we are called to participate in that Love… revealing the big Love from where we came… enjoying the big Love right in this moment… and embracing the big Love that beckons us forward. Past, present, and future – it's really a timeless Love of which we can never be separated.</p><p>Let’s embrace our beloved-ness and make known the Amazing Artist who created us to be Love incarnate here and now.</p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7223956
2023-06-09T13:31:11-06:00
2023-06-11T14:42:28-06:00
Grow Love
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/c066a27ad6a0720861f8be85bd1fc84abda15cec/original/emoji-gffadda8c7-1280.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Let’s start with this: <span>God is Love.</span><br> </p><p><span>If we are to be God’s face,</span></p><p><span>Then we are to reflect Love.</span><br> </p><p><span>If we are to be God’s hands and feet,</span></p><p><span>Then we are to be Love in action.</span><br> </p><p><span>If we are to be God’s instruments,</span></p><p>Then we are to let Love move us.</p><p><br><span>God is infinite and expansive.</span></p><p><span>Love is infinite and expansive.</span></p><p><br><span>We are invited into the mystery.</span></p><p><span>We are called to grow Love.</span></p><p><br><span>May you be inspired! </span></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7223226
2023-06-08T09:44:52-06:00
2023-06-08T09:44:53-06:00
Also the Beginnings
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/76ed356d5a53373967aebc386063e63515afc428/original/sergio-r-ortiz-mng8-6d4o1m-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I tend to be a sentimental person, inclined to feel a sting of loss with every significant change.<span> </span>For example, on the last day of grade school I recall looking around the classroom, aware that this was the last time I’d be in that building as a student, with my classmates and teachers.<span> </span>And though it was a joyous day of festivities, for a few moments I felt the heaviness that comes with the awareness that it will never be this way again.</p><p>Last week my children had their own graduations.<span> </span>I had to catch my breath a time or two as I realized they will never be these tender ages again. Chapters have closed and there is no going back to relive them.</p><p>Then there is the heaviest transition I’ve ever known, my mother’s departure from earth. Standing at her deathbed I met a powerlessness I’d never known.<span> </span>There was no choice but to face the crushing reality of change.<span> </span>And yet…<span> </span></p><p>I got a glimpse of heaven’s joy when she smiled as she passed.<span> </span>In some ways, we’ve never been closer. <span> </span></p><p>I went on to love high school.<span> </span>My kids are entering new, exciting phases themselves. <span> </span></p><p>All of this to say, we can honor the grief of the moment or season, but let us be sure not to stay there too long.<span> </span>Something new and beautiful emerges out of change and loss.<span> </span>If we’re not careful we could miss it.<span> </span></p><p>Certainly be present to the endings as they come, and also the beginnings.</p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7217132
2023-05-27T21:00:00-06:00
2023-05-28T18:15:19-06:00
Over-functioning
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/dd6b1bc81419fc6ffda1defb6bc27ea578271a22/original/man-g6e6376455-1280.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />While listening to a talk by a counselor recently, I heard the term “over-functioning.”<span> </span>Though not found in the dictionary, over-functioning names a feature of co-dependent relationships. It means doing another’s work for them.<span> </span>This behavior can show up in a lot of settings, such as our jobs, a school project, as a parent, or in romantic partnerships.<span> </span>It can also be something we do in the context of our own company, when we fill our plates with everything that has to get done plus the nonessential tasks that really could be released.<span> </span>We soon feel overextended and overwhelmed.<span> </span>Notice all the “overs,” indicating it’s simply too much.</p><p>We may over-function due to feeling “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done,” or thinking we’re supposed to manage it because we can.<span> </span>Perhaps we believe we’re being the bigger person or doing the right thing by rescuing others.<span> </span>But just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should.<span> </span>When we habitually take over what really is another’s responsibility, we enable them.<span> </span>We stunt their growth.<span> </span>We stand in the way of allowing some of their best teachers to come forward — consequences.</p><p>Let’s pause next time we’re tempted to dive into what’s not ours to manage and allow the other the dignity of their own experience.</p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7213011
2023-05-20T14:00:00-06:00
2023-05-21T14:37:37-06:00
A Higher Standard
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/e8ee14f604cd04ba839c68c8b0eb30c1bf649a65/original/anwaar-ali-aax-r3puyzs-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p><p>Often the need for healthy boundaries arises out of unhealthy relationships.<span> </span>While an all or nothing approach may be appealing (i.e. leave the unhealthy behind), the reality is that people are complex.<span> </span>We may love someone who has a lot of great qualities and at the same time is difficult, controlling, or invasive.<span> </span>It is especially important in these situations that we raise the “stop sign” when someone’s behavior is unacceptable for us.<span> </span>In this way we teach others how we expect to be treated.<span> </span>This is part one of a process toward improving the relationship, and it is the only part the person feeling violated can really do.</p><p>Part two is up to the person who acts destructively.<span> </span>Their work is to do a deeper dive into why their behavior evoked a boundary in the first place.<span> </span>While the troubling conduct may stop toward the individual enforcing a particular boundary, chances are it continues with another. <span> </span>Often the core issue of what causes one to act inappropriately is not resolved with a boundary alone.<span> </span>Sometimes healing first requires a bottoming out for the one misbehaving.<span> </span>They have to suffer the consequences of their actions over time.<span> </span>That pain has the potential to lead them to a cracking open — a break-down to break through moment — wherein finally they take responsibility for their actions.<span> </span>From there they can repent, make amends, and try to restore trust.</p><p>It’s important to realize what part is yours when dealing with giving and receiving boundaries.<span> </span>And remember, it can be quite a gift to love someone enough to hold them to a higher standard.</p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7208426
2023-05-13T09:27:16-06:00
2023-05-13T09:27:16-06:00
Vow of Poverty
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/8f96c1e6f80a0eda327a6d6b836f3dd7ad896f9d/original/jared-rice-8w7b4sdhogw-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The Clutter Clearing program I lead has come to a close for the season.<span> </span>This has me reflecting upon the many insights shared.<span> </span>One thing we discussed is the beauty of the vow of poverty that religious people take.<span> </span>As I understand it, their promise is not about deprivation but about freedom — the freedom to live simply.<span> </span>It is a counter-cultural commitment that fosters harmony between both inner and outer worlds.<span> </span>As a spiritual practice, living a vow of poverty helps one tune into what matters most.<span> </span>Clutter doesn’t get to do any bidding for time because “stuff” is kept in check.<span> </span>Instead, Spirit gets to fill the open spaces. <span> </span></p><p>How might we simplify so as to not crowd out the Sacred?</p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7205739
2023-05-06T00:00:00-06:00
2023-05-12T15:52:31-06:00
The Cracks
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/cf49bb93ad892d2bb6b1a4a1f60775f2816caa01/original/woman-g36b0858c7-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p><p>While on a Clutter Clearing journey of sorts, I am reminded of some key indicators that my life is too full of “stuff.” One is when my workouts drop off the schedule. Another is when my contemplative prayer time is lost. A third is that my house becomes a disaster zone.<span> </span>And there are others.</p><p>I find it Ironic that what I need most when overextended are the very things that get cut. The quotation attributed to St. Francis de Sales comes to mind as I try to find my footing. It says: “Every one of us needs half an hour of prayer a day, except when we are busy – then we need an hour.” Ah, yes, we need to fill our tanks before we empty them.</p><p>When important and meaningful responsibilities start falling through the cracks, it’s time to press the “big red button” that stops the assembly line of our lives and do a swift reprioritization. We need to put the most valued pieces in place first (including self-care) and recognize the rest for what it is… clutter. <span> </span></p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7198701
2023-04-28T09:58:48-06:00
2023-04-28T10:01:01-06:00
Treasure Hunting
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/2b95e0fff1bfa14bf3b903f894bf4bc2fef37615/original/ashin-k-suresh-mkxtoaxqtto-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />As I continue to approach various forms of clutter clearing this spring — physical, digital, mental, emotional, etc. — I am struck by the scripture “For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.” (Mt 6:21)<span> </span>In its fuller context, this verse cautions people to not put their attention on worldly goods or the accumulation of wealth but on what really matters: eternal Love.</p><p>It is helpful to keep this perspective of non-attachment when sifting through all kinds of clutter.<span> </span>And, in a way, it makes the process of simplifying feel like a great treasure hunt.<span> </span>After all, the goal is to keep an eye out for what one really values so as to make more space for it.<span> </span>Perhaps that’s an item that lifts the heart, or a particular practice that supports well-being, or a soulful relationship that is mutually enriching.<span> </span>Then, whatever is not life-giving, can be released.</p><p>This kind of treasure-hunting is about aligning or realigning with one’s true self, the soul.<span> </span>It’s a process that asks, “How do you want to live?”<span> </span>It’s a process that, with the unearthing of each precious part, we discover our hearts once more. <span> </span></p><p>What do you treasure?</p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7191454
2023-04-16T17:42:05-06:00
2023-04-16T17:42:05-06:00
Clutter Clearing for Soul Space
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/ce9925382801593268251d9d63a918c09b9cb316/original/justyn-warner-vh8w75u3le0-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Last week I led a program called “Clutter Clearing for Soul Space.”<span> </span>In light of the seasonal cleaning many do in spring, it seemed a good time to gather inspiration on how to simplify life a bit more… to reclaim the energy that’s lost when stuck in the thick of “stuff.”</p><p>Clutter Whisperer, Kerri Richardson, has a motto that resonates: “If you don’t love it, need it, or use it, it’s clutter.”<span> </span>And she points out that clutter is not just physical items but whatever stands in the way of us living our best lives.<span> </span>That in mind, clutter can also be things like draining relationships, too much on the calendar, or extra pounds.<span> </span>Richardson says that there is always a message in the mess of our stubborn clutter that involves one or more of the following — unrealistic expectations, limiting beliefs, and lack of boundaries.</p><p>Tidying expert, Marie Kondo, has a philosophy I appreciate as well: “You are not choosing what to discard but rather choosing to keep only the items that speak to your heart.”<span> </span>She advocates surrounding one’s self only with that which sparks joy.<span> </span>What an attractive goal! <span> </span></p><p>These ideas in mind, let’s reflect on where clutter shows up in our lives and why.<span> </span>Our environment tells us something about our priorities and our peace of mind.<span> </span>If you’re feeling out of balance or uneasy, perhaps you need to do a clearing of that which no longer serves a purpose in your life.<span> </span>With the free space you uncover, both physically and emotionally, see what opportunities start to flow. After all, the soul can show up in all it’s creativity when it has room to move and expand. <span> </span></p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7186852
2023-04-09T18:53:35-06:00
2023-04-09T18:53:35-06:00
Let it Begin with Me
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/9ae78470e0b4405f5a8c4c66b1c11be95d96497c/original/sandra-grunewald-fll5j9l-0ue-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />God’s “one-in-being-ness” presented to us through the life of Jesus is not a mere experience that humankind once witnessed, rather it is an invitation.<span> </span>We are invited to develop our Christ nature, to live out the bold Love Jesus modeled.<span> </span>Here the anchoring phrase<i> <strong>Let it Begin with Me</strong> </i>makes for a great prayer</p><p>The irony of the Gospel is that after putting all of our stock in Jesus as the Messiah we find that God, through Jesus, has put all of his stock in us.<span> </span>In other words, the work of resurrection is ours to continue.<span> </span>How can we bring new life to the death that surrounds us?<span> </span>How can we lift up our families and communities? How can we renew society and revitalize the church?<span> </span>The answer is simple, <i><strong>Let it Begin with Me.</strong></i></p><p>During Easter Season <i><strong>Let it Begin with Me. </strong></i>Experience what a difference it can make.</p><p><strong>“By changing myself, I truly can change the world.” — </strong><i>Courage to Change</i><strong>, </strong>p. 337</p><p>May you be inspired!</p><p><i><span>NOTE: This reflection is part of a series entitled “<strong>Wisdom Mantras for the Lenten Journey,</strong>” initially published by </span></i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://taucenter.org/"><span style="color:#249183;"><i><span><u>Tau Center</u></span></i></span></a><i><span>. You can view the entire Lenten reflection series here: </span></i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/4009c2b7-b725-ad85-b9c6-4ccca6e5d0cf/Lenten_Easter_Season_E_VERSION_compressed.01.pdf?mc_cid=4b4ca66da1&mc_eid=UNIQID"><span style="color:#0000e9;"><i><span><u>Still Point</u></span></i></span></a><i><span>. </span></i></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7183263
2023-04-03T10:39:18-06:00
2023-04-03T10:39:18-06:00
Let Go and Let God
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/a85b3a9f0f106a5cbfb00869df33a29a7d09b5f6/original/jeremy-bishop-dlicfsd33as-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Holy Week brings the Lenten journey to an inevitable point of surrender and sorrow.<span> </span>Whether a part of our lives is on the cross or we are witnessing death unfolding, the powerlessness of the human experience is evident.<span> </span>In moments of such awareness we may find some relief by intentionally releasing our heartache to a Higher Power.<span> </span><i><strong>Let Go and Let God</strong> </i>is helpful in reminding us that all is not within our control and we are not alone.</p><p>Jesus, as would any of us, begged God to take away his suffering.<span> </span>Ultimately he gave up resistance and allowed Grace to take its course. You might say he <strong>Let Go and Let God.</strong><span><strong> </strong></span>Acceptance of such unimaginable pain revealed a path toward new life.</p><p>During Holy Week let us try to <i><strong>Let Go and Let God.</strong><span><strong> </strong></span></i>Experience what a difference it can make.</p><p><strong>“When I can finally persuade myself to let go of a problem that has been tormenting me, solutions begin to unfold that I never dreamed were possible.”</strong><i><span> </span>— One Day at A Time in Al-Anon, </i>p. 107</p><p>May you be inspired!<span> </span></p><p>NOTE: This reflection is part of a series entitled “<strong>Wisdom Mantras for the Lenten Journey,</strong>” initially published by <a class="no-pjax" href="https://taucenter.org/"><span style="color:#249183;"><u>Tau Center</u></span></a>. You can view the entire Lenten reflection series here: <a class="no-pjax" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/4009c2b7-b725-ad85-b9c6-4ccca6e5d0cf/Lenten_Easter_Season_E_VERSION_compressed.01.pdf?mc_cid=4b4ca66da1&mc_eid=UNIQID"><span style="color:#0000e9;"><u>Still Point</u></span></a>.</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7178789
2023-03-26T13:03:17-06:00
2023-03-26T13:03:58-06:00
Attraction Rather Than Promotion
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/3210aec687d015a5e7a0da41102f8cfc336eb83b/original/nong-v-sz-shjsvejw-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Lent is a time set aside to deepen our faith life.<span> </span>Feelings of growth and renewal could make us eager to share what is new and uplifting for us.<span> </span>Perhaps the best way to do so is by <i><strong>Attraction Rather Than Promotion.</strong><span> </span></i> We do not need to tell others how we have changed.<span> </span>Rather, living out what has shifted in the self is often the best course.<span> </span></p><p>“Preach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary use words” comes to mind when living out <i><strong>Attraction Rather Than Promotion. </strong><span><strong> </strong></span></i> If we are truly transformed in any way for the better, it follows that this change would be made evident in our behavior.<span> </span>The difference in us ought to be perceptible.<span> </span><i> </i>There is no need to lecture.<span> </span><i> </i>Let any light discovered offer a gentle invitation for another to experience a metanoia of their own.</p><p>During Lent let us lead with <i><strong>Attraction Rather Than Promotion.</strong><span><strong> </strong></span></i>Experience what a difference it can make.</p><p><strong>“When my life improves as a result of working the program myself, I do more to carry the message than I ever could by forcing it on others.”</strong> — <i>Courage to Change</i>, p. 36<span> </span></p><p><span>May you be inspired!</span></p><p><i>NOTE: This reflection is part of a series entitled “<strong>Wisdom Mantras for the Lenten Journey,</strong>” initially published by </i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://taucenter.org/"><span style="color:#249183;"><i><u>Tau Center</u></i></span></a><i>. You can view the entire Lenten reflection series here: </i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/4009c2b7-b725-ad85-b9c6-4ccca6e5d0cf/Lenten_Easter_Season_E_VERSION_compressed.01.pdf?mc_cid=4b4ca66da1&mc_eid=UNIQID"><span style="color:#0000e9;"><i><u>Still Point</u></i></span></a><i>.</i></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7174527
2023-03-19T12:13:47-06:00
2023-03-26T13:03:58-06:00
Progress Not Perfection
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/b861cbcbd4e7090cadfafe0821e38885adb0663e/original/sigmund-mlpu2ywfoy8-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Lent offers us a journey more than it does a destination.<span> </span>It is a necessary passage that forms us to become a people of resurrection.<span> </span>In this season of Lent we may take inventory of how well we are living as Jesus taught us to live.<span> </span>It Is easy to be hard on oneself for not getting things “right,” or for experiencing setbacks.<span> </span>The goal of spiritual growth and healing, however, is <i><strong>Progress Not Perfection.</strong></i></p><p>Keeping focused on progress reminds us that one step at a time in the right direction is enough.<span> </span>We make mistakes.<span> </span>We are human.<span> </span>Yet we also are capable to make some improvement in our lives, however small it may be.<span> </span>With a <i><strong>Progress Not Perfection</strong></i> mindset we center on forward motion rather than unrealistic ideals.<span> </span>This gives us the encouragement we need to keep going.<span> </span></p><p>Concentrating on <i><strong>Progress Not Perfection</strong></i> may also help us to release fear.<span> </span>Perhaps we have fallen and need the courage to get up and start over.<span> </span>If we let go of the notion of perfect, we can become ready to begin again.</p><p>During Lent let us commit to practicing <i><strong>Progress Not Perfection.</strong><span><strong> </strong></span></i>Experience what a difference it can make.</p><p><strong>“I may not recognize it right now, but I have made progress, and I continue to make progress with every step I take.”</strong> — <i>Courage to Change</i>, p. 292</p><p>May you be inspired!</p><p><i>NOTE: This reflection is part of a series entitled “<strong>Wisdom Mantras for the Lenten Journey,</strong>” initially published by </i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://taucenter.org/"><span style="color:#249183;"><i><u>Tau Center</u></i></span></a><i>. You can view the entire Lenten reflection series here: </i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/4009c2b7-b725-ad85-b9c6-4ccca6e5d0cf/Lenten_Easter_Season_E_VERSION_compressed.01.pdf?mc_cid=4b4ca66da1&mc_eid=UNIQID"><span style="color:#0000e9;"><i><u>Still Point</u></i></span></a><i>.</i></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7169836
2023-03-12T10:14:53-06:00
2023-03-12T10:14:53-06:00
How Important Is It?
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/c96c2984fb28a8343f4fa73909552b20cc1580fc/original/jon-r8afuprp0j0-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />During Lent we have an opportunity to hone in on what really matters.<span> </span>In doing so there is a peeling away of what does not really matter.<span> </span>When confronted with something that makes a bid for our time, energy, or peace of mind, we would be wise to take a breath and ask <i><strong>How Important Is It?</strong></i></p><p>Certain situations in life are bound to ruffle our feathers. <i><span> </span></i>Egos get triggered easily, tempting us to express ourselves in a knee-jerk reaction.<span> </span>Too often we lose perspective and allow minor inconveniences to steal our joy.<span> </span>If we put a little space between the matter at hand and our reaction to it by asking <i><strong>How Important Is It?, </strong></i>we will start to interrupt old patterns of creating unnecessary drama.<span> </span>We will come to realize that our effort could be better used another way.</p><p>Life does hand us moments of urgency and times of actual crisis, but most of our day to day living is not experienced at that level of intensity. <span> </span>When we learn to distinguish what is important from what is not, we begin letting go of the small stuff.<span> </span>This<i> </i>frees up time to appreciate the many pleasures of today.<span> </span>Thus, we become better stewards of our inner resources.<span> </span></p><p>During Lent let us commit to asking <i><strong>How Important is it?</strong></i><span> </span>Experience what a difference it can make.</p><p><strong>“How easily do I give away my serenity?”</strong> — <i>Hope for Today</i>, p.302</p><p>May you be inspired!</p><p><i>NOTE: This reflection is part of a series entitled “<strong>Wisdom Mantras for the Lenten Journey,</strong>” initially published by </i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://taucenter.org/"><span style="color:#249183;"><i><u>Tau Center</u></i></span></a><i>. You can view the entire Lenten reflection series here: </i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/4009c2b7-b725-ad85-b9c6-4ccca6e5d0cf/Lenten_Easter_Season_E_VERSION_compressed.01.pdf?mc_cid=4b4ca66da1&mc_eid=UNIQID"><span style="color:#0000e9;"><i><u>Still Point</u></i></span></a><i>.</i></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7165595
2023-03-05T12:15:40-06:00
2023-03-05T12:16:43-06:00
Listen and Learn
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/ce043f7ee0f223d773755ba630d0b252163829f2/original/daniele-levis-pelusi-vo6a7rwmajk-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The beauty of liturgical seasons such as Lent is that we are reminded to set some time aside to reflect and clear out what is not life-giving.<span> </span>In this process we might open ourselves up to <i><strong>Listen and Learn</strong></i>.<span> </span>So long as we are alive we can grow in the understanding of something new each day.<span> </span>This helps us evolve into a better version of ourselves and thus contribute to a positive change in the world.</p><p>When encountering parts of our lives that trouble us, often in the form of people with whom we disagree, we can peacefully approach the dilemma with our ears.<span> </span>If we take time to drop our defenses and really listen, we just might learn something about them and about ourselves.<span> </span>Authentic listening leads to learning which lends itself to loving more widely. <span> </span></p><p>To <i><strong>Listen and Learn</strong></i> is a form of healing for everyone involved.<span> </span>All we need to do is to be present and enter into another’s experience.<span> </span>We do not listen with a preoccupation to change someone else.<span> </span>Rather, we offer genuine compassion that allows safe space for the soul to appear.<span> </span>It is then that we are changed.<span> </span></p><p>“There isn’t anyone you couldn’t love once you’ve heard their story,” as the quotation by Mary Lou Kownacki says.<span> </span>By taking the time to <i><strong>Listen and Learn </strong></i>we reorient ourselves once again toward Love.<span> </span></p><p>During Lent let us commit to <i><strong>Listen and Learn.</strong><span><strong> </strong></span></i>Experience what a difference it can make.</p><p><strong>“The more available I am to listen and learn, the more available I am to be healed by my Higher Power.”</strong><i> </i>— <i>Hope for Today</i>, p.16</p><p>May you be inspired!</p><p><i>NOTE: This reflection is part of a series entitled “<strong>Wisdom Mantras for the Lenten Journey,</strong>” initially published by </i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://taucenter.org/"><span style="color:#249183;"><i><u>Tau Center</u></i></span></a><i>. You can view the entire Lenten reflection series here: </i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/4009c2b7-b725-ad85-b9c6-4ccca6e5d0cf/Lenten_Easter_Season_E_VERSION_compressed.01.pdf?mc_cid=4b4ca66da1&mc_eid=UNIQID"><span style="color:#0000e9;"><i><u>Still Point</u></i></span></a><i>.</i></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7161194
2023-02-26T20:18:25-06:00
2023-02-26T20:19:29-06:00
First Things First
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/de8b4a9838230c5601a24bd21dedf26c98817cac/original/ian-chen-63sgca71bgs-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Lent is a time to rekindle our connection with the Divine.<span> </span>We are able to maximize this opportunity by keeping <i><strong>First Things First</strong></i>.<span> </span>This means tending to whatever might be out of balance in ourselves, including<i> </i>our prayer life.<span> </span></p><p>Opening up an intentional conversation with Spirit this Lent could help us discover what blocks us from peace.<span> </span>In this dialogue with God we might consider listening more than speaking.<span> </span>Our Higher Power may then gently remind us what is and is not ours to manage.</p><p>Too often we forget to keep <i><strong>First Things First.</strong><span><strong> </strong></span></i>We overlook the need for prayer at the times we need it most. Yet contact with a Higher Power is crucial to our well-being. <span> </span>By prioritizing our spiritual health we move closer to serenity.</p><p>During Lent let us commit to putting <i><strong>First Things First.</strong><span><strong> </strong></span></i>Experience what a difference it can make.</p><p><strong>“As I think about what to do with this day, I will set aside some time for what is really important.</strong><span><strong> </strong></span><strong>I will put first things first today.” </strong>— <i>Courage to Change</i>, p. 318</p><p>May you be inspired!</p><p><i>NOTE: This reflection is part of a series entitled “<strong>Wisdom Mantras for the Lenten Journey,</strong>” initially published by </i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://taucenter.org/"><span style="color:#249183;"><i><u>Tau Center</u></i></span></a><i>. You can view the entire Lenten reflection series here: </i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/4009c2b7-b725-ad85-b9c6-4ccca6e5d0cf/Lenten_Easter_Season_E_VERSION_compressed.01.pdf?mc_cid=4b4ca66da1&mc_eid=UNIQID"><span style="color:#0000e9;"><i><u>Still Point</u></i></span></a><i>.</i></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7158574
2023-02-22T11:00:37-06:00
2023-02-22T11:12:30-06:00
One Day at a Time
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/f4f090a8a285919bf5231d01da5eead89b590f8c/original/alexander-grey-savqflrm4do-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Here we are at another Ash Wednesday, the entrance to a fresh Lenten journey.<span> </span>We may set goals for how we aim to spend the next 40 days, with fasting, abstaining, and almsgiving.<span> </span>Whatever our intentions are for this holy season, we would do well to remember that every objective can only be met <i><strong>One Day at a Time </strong>—</i> sometimes by even just one hour, or one minute, or one second at a time.</p><p>Living <i><strong>One Day at a Time</strong></i> is counter-cultural.<span> </span>However, it is the only way to maintain serenity.<span> </span>Sometimes we focus on the past, replaying the mental videos of disappointments, mistakes, and grievances.<span> </span>This can lead to depression.<span> </span>Sometimes we worry about the future, anticipating disasters or worst outcomes.<span> </span>The result is often anxiety.<span> </span>The truth is, however, we are powerless over both past and future.<span> </span>Instead, put the past on the shelf and honor it for the gifts of learning it has held.<span> </span>Set aside the future for the experiences not yet ready to be revealed.<span> </span>Settle into this moment for all it has to offer, choosing to live <i><strong>One Day at a Time</strong></i>.</p><p>We may be in a season of difficulty, our souls weary from ongoing struggles.<span> </span>How are we to ignore regrets and concerns when they loom overhead?<span> </span>We can accept the limitations of today, knowing that we are able to only manage the present.<span> </span>We have the option to surrender all that overwhelms us to a loving Higher Power.</p><p>Perhaps we are in a season of ease and joy.<span> </span>Here too living <i><strong>One Day at a Time </strong></i>reminds us to pause and savor the blessings before us.<span> </span>In fully experiencing the good times when they happen, we replenish our energy.<span> </span>As a result, we may be able to share hope with another.</p><p>During Lent let us commit to living <i><strong>One Day at a Time.</strong></i> Experience what a difference it can make.</p><p><strong>“This day is all I have to work with, and it is all I need.</strong><span><strong> </strong></span><strong>If I am tempted to worry about tomorrow’s concerns, I will gently bring my mind back to today.”</strong><span> </span>— <i>Courage to Change</i>, p. 10</p><p>May you be inspired!</p><p><i>NOTE: This reflection is part of a series entitled “<strong>Wisdom Mantras for the Lenten Journey,</strong>” initially published by </i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://taucenter.org/"><span style="color:#28a095;"><i>Tau Center</i></span></a><i>.<span> </span>You can view the entire Lenten reflection series here: </i><a class="no-pjax" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/4009c2b7-b725-ad85-b9c6-4ccca6e5d0cf/Lenten_Easter_Season_E_VERSION_compressed.01.pdf?mc_cid=4b4ca66da1&mc_eid=UNIQID" data-link-type="url"><i>Still Point</i></a><i>.</i></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7155960
2023-02-17T12:50:00-06:00
2023-02-17T12:50:01-06:00
What Waiting Can Do
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/8c5fa899a21b4cd6addc9113974701c0502d1aac/original/umit-bulut-qbtc7zwjb64-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I think it is safe to say that by the time we reach adulthood we have had at least one experience of wanting to throw in the towel.<span> </span>Perhaps we wanted to quit a team, end a friendship, resign from a job, or divorce a spouse.<span> </span>It is true that some endings are straightforward and necessary.<span> </span>It is also true that if we wait a difficult situation out a little while sometimes the drama subsides, time shifts our perceptions, and things become tenable once more.</p><p>The difference is clarity.<span> </span>If we know in our bones that something needs to end, then we are likely ready to honor that.<span> </span>Yet if we do not feel sure, we can embrace the wisdom of the old saying, “When in doubt, don’t.” <span> </span></p><p>This past week I heard it said that when we feel confused it often means we are not ready to make a decision or take action yet.<span> </span>Those moments might be an invitation to wait and see what waiting can do. <span> </span></p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7152319
2023-02-11T09:44:05-06:00
2023-02-11T09:44:05-06:00
Honor the Questions
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/392212/4206b7e23017abbd3ffeef54c22e2bf1c6b4d94d/original/ask-g52b7a924b-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />So often in our busy brains questions emerge. We are a naturally curious species. Sorting and sifting through the incoming data of everyday life, we ponder things big and small, vast and personal. </p><p>Too often a question is left unanswered not because there is no answer but because we never dared to ask it. What holds us back may be an assumption that the topic is unimportant… or a fear of looking foolish for not already knowing… or an insecurity that equates asking with being a bother… or perhaps a concern that the question itself is too bold, too risky to ask. </p><p>Yet if we take the chance to ask one another our questions we might find the practice enlivening for everyone involved. After all, inquisitiveness is a form of intelligence that fosters growth and progress. </p><p>Let’s honor the questions that arise in us. From simple to deep, from pleasant to uncomfortable, let’s challenge ourselves to ask at least one question every day to someone we encounter. By doing so we allow the spirit of the inquiry to take us on an an enriching adventure.</p><p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7148800
2023-02-04T16:28:38-06:00
2023-02-04T16:28:39-06:00
Balanced Power
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/b55205be7128f9e898f807185dc860ef205253da/original/figure-g5af19bda8-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Relationships, if they are to be successful, require an equal balance of power. As soon as one tries to dominate the other the bond falls apart. There is no trusting someone who tries to knock you down, whether verbally or physically. You cannot lean on someone who is quick to leverage your vulnerabilities against you. It’s impossible to rely on someone who poisons the well, turning others against you to make sure your light doesn’t shine too bright. </p>
<p>Whether consciously or not, people who feel the need to dominate others are playing a game. The goal is to protect their fragile ego with a false sense of security. The ego lies to them, indicating that having power over others makes them right, justified, or better in some way. These self-inflated feelings keep one’s wounds out of sight. Ironically it’s those very wounds that created the superiority complex in the first place. And while, in the short-term, one may “win” that game through controlling others, in the long-term they will have lost tragically. They will have missed the greatest opportunity in the human experience: to love. </p>
<p>Relationships are their most powerful when that power is balanced. </p>
<p>We can consider these questions to check where our egos may be harming that stability: </p>
<p>Do you put others down who disagree with you? </p>
<p>Do you try to intimidate others with anger? </p>
<p>Do you throw one’s personal sharing in their face? </p>
<p>Do you violate another's confidence? </p>
<p>Do you talk behind others’ backs? </p>
<p>Do you manipulate others to get what you want? </p>
<p>And perhaps the key question to begin restoring balance in our relationships is this: </p>
<p>Do you know where you are wounded and what are you going to do about it? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7144901
2023-01-28T10:35:31-06:00
2023-01-28T10:35:31-06:00
The Curriculum of Life
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/ea2c6f8e608ae1817bafa942e0e9bc5ab664c6c5/original/application-g5ae2d117b-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />My oldest is in the process of selecting classes for her next year of school. There are core classes, such as English and Math, that all students must take. Then there are electives wherein students can pick what interests them, within the parameters of what’s required for graduation. </p>
<p>It seems to me the same is true of our lives. There are “core classes” we have to take, whether we like it or not. These experiences teach us so much. For example, how to deal with betrayal or grieving the death of a loved one. And though we may not have knowingly enrolled in these courses, they are ours to navigate. They will define our capacity for wisdom and compassion. </p>
<p>Then there are the “electives” of life. These courses may include choosing a career path or where to live. We have more agency in creating the syllabus for this part, yet the program can take unexpected twists and turns. Perhaps, for example, we thought we liked the subject but came to find out it doesn’t really suit us after all. Here each choice helps clarify what bring us joy and purpose. </p>
<p>Life is our classroom. We can find peace by accepting the curriculum for all it stands to teach us. Part of it has been given to us and part of it we have chosen. Yet all of it offers us opportunities to grow in meaningful ways. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7141121
2023-01-21T09:33:46-06:00
2023-01-21T09:33:46-06:00
Help the Healing
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/3ccdc58aa08fbf43969a1064d71deb28303fc978/original/kelly-sikkema-f-ahtiof44u-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />A friend (also a therapist) told me that after experiencing a trauma what a person needs most is to tell what happened to them — and to be believed. The healing process begins by being heard and trusted as credible. From that solid start one is then able to find the next step on their healing journey. </p>
<p>I imagine the reason some people don’t share about the traumas they have endured is for fear that they won’t be believed. To hold one’s silence can feel much safer than having a harmful, life-altering reality denied. Such invalidation might cause a mental and emotional tailspin, a crushing multiplication of the pain. </p>
<p>The answer, however, is not to withhold one’s story altogether, but to discern who is capable of handling it with reverence. Not everyone is prepared for this privilege. Yet there are people who know how to hold the pieces of another’s heart. There are people willing to help the healing begin. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7137977
2023-01-14T10:22:43-06:00
2023-01-14T10:39:17-06:00
To Trust
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/ca99606d2dbf2911f47ad0e65c39c2ddf5cf0cee/original/earth-gcb542ca7d-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Author Michael Singer once wrote, “No person or situation could ever teach you as much as death has to teach you.” That rings true as I think back to insights gained each time a loved one of mine was put on notice that death was on its way. The experiences leading up to, during, and after the deaths of loved ones are often inundated by Grace. We become piercingly aware that life is but a brief and mysterious gift. Such consciousness allows pain to carve out a way of living with more presence and a deeper sense of appreciation. </p>
<p>We not only learn from actual death but also from the death of dreams. If you have lived long enough you surely have stories of things that didn’t go as planned, heartaches that had to be mourned. And some of us have the conundrum of navigating “living deaths,” like the end of a relationship. The person isn’t dead, but none-the-less not accessible. Here too these deaths of dreams are followed by Grace. Something new is born from the wisdom acquired over the miles. We find that loss has meaning. It reveals a different course and purpose than what we could have ever imagined.</p>
<p>Death continues to to teach me many things, such as to savor this life’s adventure, let go of the small stuff, count my blessings, and hug before you leave. Perhaps the most important thing death is teaching me, however, is that Grace will always pursue it. In other words, there is always something beyond what we think is the end. And so you might say death is teaching me to trust. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7133455
2023-01-05T16:40:11-06:00
2023-01-05T16:40:11-06:00
Just Better
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/1e07a239619045314df968c14c1fa47d4cded47a/original/hello-i-m-nik-bcxqkrz-lsq-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>As we shift into the gift of another year, I have been considering what resolutions to make. Many of us recycle our intentions with a renewed aspiration that this will be the year I finally (fill in the blank)! Yet partway into this 365-days-endeavor we often fall short and give up trying until the next New Year or birthday inspires us. How about we try something different. Let’s make these ongoing goals more attainable by merely adding the idea of “better” to them. </p>
<p>Using a cliché resolution for an example, instead of “get in great shape” one might say “get in better shape.” It’s a subtle but significant difference that allows movement in a positive direction without the pressure of a pass/fail attitude. To make this objective even more general, we could simply aim to just have a better year than the one we’ve departed. </p>
<p>“Just better” holds plenty of good worth celebrating and it affords us the grace and flexibility we need to embark on the journey of possibilities before us. We will hopefully enjoy the adventure more with a mindset focused on progress not perfection. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7125778
2022-12-25T11:00:00-06:00
2022-12-25T13:13:35-06:00
Relationship Through the Lens of Miriam of Nazareth — Part 5 of 5
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/5162f29cd289bbba308a6e13ce3ec098532d6493/original/christmas-gd81d8d667-1920-copy.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />*The main source for this reflections series was the book <em>Truly Our Sister: A Theology of Mary in the Communion of Saints</em>, by Elizabeth A. Johnson. </p>
<p>*This reflection series was initially published by <a contents="Tau Center" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://taucenter.org">Tau Center</a>, a spirituality ministry of the Wheaton Franciscans. </p>
<p><strong>Christ is born! — Miriam as Theotokos, God-bearer </strong></p>
<p>Amidst the joy of a precious baby’s birth, of one who would become known throughout the world for millennia as the Christ, we remember that Miriam was the biological mother of this boy Jesus. She had the very real experience of pregnancy, from excitement to discomfort. She had the very real experience of labor and delivery, with all its pain and relief. There’s no easy way around birth, especially at that time in history. To this day, birthing a child is one of the most vulnerable things a woman can do, and Miriam did so in one of the most exposed settings imaginable. </p>
<p>Miriam is called the Theotokos, which is a Greek word meaning God-bearer. Johnson (2003) writes, “God and a woman together bring forth the Christ.” (p.14). Isn’t it wonderful to realize God’s passageway to us, for bringing forth the life of Jesus, was through this incredible and very human woman, Miriam. No doubt she raised her child as mother’s do – nurturing with consistency, fiercely protecting, teaching to empower, and loving without end. Surely Jesus held the imprint of Miriam’s love in his being. </p>
<p>When we consider the fullness of Miriam’s life on earth in its historical context, and recognize her humanity in the various relationships she held, her life becomes an invitation. We realize we too are called in our own ways to the same one-in-being-ness with God as she was. Through this lens we can recognize her as the wonderful “soul sister” of ours that she is. “Her historical life having ended, she died and passed into the unimaginable, life-giving embrace of the living God. Now she joins the company of loving, faithful people who encourage those still running the race.” (p. 313) </p>
<p>As we reflect on Miriam’s life and relationships we might find that God invites us to also be passageways for the Sacred to enter the world. Give some thought to the axiom “We are all meant to be mothers of God, for God is always needing to be born.” (p. 34) Perhaps God wants to be born through each of us in a new way this Christmas! </p>
<p><strong>Point of Reflection:</strong> Where might you be called to birth more Love into the world? </p>
<p><em>May you be inspired! </em></p>
<p><strong>For further contemplation</strong> on Relationships Through the Lens of Miriam of Nazareth, ask Miriam to pray with you during the Christmas Season. </p>
<p>You may hear Catholics say they “pray" to Miriam, or Mary, but that’s not quite an accurate use of the word. We really only pray to, as in worship, God. Yet we can communicate soul to soul with Miriam or anyone else, whether on earth or in heaven, through our connection in the communion of saints. Johnson explains that “… the communion of saints stands for a relationship among all holy people of all ages, including the whole company of heaven…and… in a fascinating way, for generations as yet unborn… The whole church through time shares in a communion of hope in the Spirit.” (p. 102). We can ask these souls to pray for us, and to join us, when we address God. So, just as you might say to a friend, “please pray for me,” so too we can ask this of Miriam. </p>
<p><strong>Praying with Miriam </strong></p>
<p>God of us all, thank you for the life of Miriam of Nazareth, who walked the earth over 2000 years ago. Thank you for blessing the world with Miriam’s son, Jesus, who grew in her womb, and whose life as an infant, child, and adolescent was shaped by her love. </p>
<p><em>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </em></p>
<p>…that like you we can experience a profound relationship between our humanity and the Creator of the Universe — loving God with all our heart, soul, and strength… </p>
<p><em>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </em></p>
<p>…that like you we may maintain a quality of spiritual purity, trusting our inner autonomy in relationship with the Divine… </p>
<p><em>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </em></p>
<p>…that like you we may see holiness alive in us and around us, regardless of gender, class, religion, or the era in which we were born… </p>
<p><em>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </em></p>
<p>…that like you we can testify, with grounded liberation, to the everyday good news for which we are grateful and hopeful… </p>
<p><em>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </em></p>
<p>…that we too may cooperate with grace in welcoming that which is ours to do, with a courage that outweighs any fear… </p>
<p><em>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </em></p>
<p>…that we may embrace the tangible and embodied parts of our story with serenity… </p>
<p><em>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </em></p>
<p>…that we may remember our place in the communion of saints, that we too are invited to collaborate with you in bringing God’s love to the world… </p>
<p>Eternal God, thank you for the ways in which one soul can inspire another. Thank you for hearing all prayers between heaven and earth. Please hold them in the heart of your loving energy that is the source of everything. Amen. </p>
<p><strong>Use this link to read the PDF of this piece from Tau Center: </strong><a contents="Miriam as Theotokos, God-bearer" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/61be71f4-236b-c31a-c941-c2c9dba3f375/Advent_Week_5_Christmas_PDF.pdf?mc_cid=b1c92e8500&mc_eid=57dd53c3be">Miriam as Theotokos, God-bearer</a></p>
<p><strong>Reference for this reflection: </strong>Christ is born! — Miriam as Theotokos, God-bearer</p>
<p>Johnson, E. (2003). Truly Our Sister: A Theology of Mary in the Communion of Saints. The Continuum International Publishing Group.</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7125759
2022-12-20T10:00:31-06:00
2022-12-20T10:35:37-06:00
Relationship through the Lens of Miriam of Nazareth - Part 4 of 5
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/041bb0acbc009fb0a0a8d6210ed730778f74b227/original/virgin-mary-g8df68be2c-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />*The main source for this reflections series was the book <em>Truly Our Sister: A Theology of Mary in the Communion of Saints, by Elizabeth A. Johnson. </em></p>
<p>*This reflection series was initially published by <a contents="Tau Center" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://taucenter.org">Tau Center</a>, a spirituality ministry of the Wheaton Franciscans. </p>
<p><strong>The Fourth Week of Advent — Miriam’s Relationship to Society: </strong></p>
<p>Despite the graces given to her by God, Miriam did not have an easy life. In the small village of Nazareth, an agricultural community, poverty was a fact of life (Johnson, p. 143). This included illness, shortened life-spans, and the tragedy of infant mortality. Hers was a peasant community, where she lived at a subsistence level. This meant Miriam and her extended family likely met their basic needs by various domestic duties, including growing food to eat and making clothes to wear from sheep’s wool they spun themselves. Whatever was needed for living was usually grown and built by their own hands. Miriam’s relationship to society was one of communal hard work and demanding physical labor. </p>
<p>Miriam’s world was also a multilingual one wherein she could encounter any of four languages (p. 141). Her local language in Nazareth and throughout Galilee was Aramaic. In the synagogue Miriam would have heard Hebrew. The common language among the educated and those doing business was Greek. Finally, Latin was used by the Romans who occupied the Jewish homeland. Managing to interact with strangers amidst various languages had to be challenging, yet we know Miriam did not shrink back. She traveled out of desire and necessity, to visit her cousin Elizabeth, to Bethlehem for the required census, to Egypt for safety, to Jerusalem for Passover pilgrimages, and so forth. She also followed her son’s ministry, supporting some of his public lectures with her presence and encouraging him to take the next step in his vocation during the wedding at Cana. Miriam had a knowingness about her son’s gifts and believed in what he could offer the world around them. </p>
<p>In addition to the laborious daily life and navigating the public amidst various languages, the political oppression Miriam lived within was quite unsettling. Roman rule was evident. According to Elizabeth Johnson, “Their governing policy kept the occupied populations pacified, working, and paying, while allowing enough freedom for the exercise of their traditional customs so as to prevent open revolt.” (p. 151). However, she goes on to say, if people were not kept under control, there would be a “…military response including wholesale burning, slaughtering, and enslaving, carried out with a level of violence calculated to terrorize the surviving populace into submission.” (p. 151). Miriam was surely aware of such evil in their midst, and endured it to the very personal and agonizing point of seeing her son murdered before her eyes. Yet even still, she remained in the movement he began, going with the apostles to the upper room where they were embraced and comforted by the Holy Spirit. </p>
<p>When we learn about Miriam’s relationship to society we find that she had a challenging experience at best and an excruciating one at worst. Her experience with the world around her was difficult. Yet Johnson paraphrases the apostolic letter Marialis Cultus to point out that Miriam was “…one who experienced poverty and suffering, flight and exile. In the midst of these troubles she consistently gave active and responsible consent to the call of God, made courageous choices, and worked to strengthen the faith of others.” (p. 133). </p>
<p><strong>Point of Reflection:</strong> In light of her historical context, are there facets of Miriam’s relationship to society which are relevant to me today? Could there be some areas in which I long to evolve? </p>
<p><em>Meeting basic needs… Engaging in communal hard work… Managing to interact with strangers… Not shrinking back… Traveling where I must… Supporting a ministry I believe in… Being present… Naming gifts… Trusting the offering… Remaining steadfast… Allowing myself to be embraced and comforted by the Holy Spirit… Giving an active and responsible consent to God’s call… Strengthening the faith of others </em></p>
<p><strong>What is one way I can improve my relationship to society? </strong></p>
<p><em>May you be inspired! </em></p>
<p><strong>For further reflection</strong>, meditate on the Magnificat in light of Miriam’s relationship to society. </p>
<p>The Magnificat is read this year on the Thursday of the Fourth Week of Advent, from Luke 1:46-56. “The song of Mary is the oldest Advent hymn.” (Bonhoeffer, 1993, as cited in Johnson, 2003, p. 267). Shortly after learning she will be the mother of Jesus, Miriam offers this testimony of faith, demonstrating her solidarity with the people of God (p. 267). Johnson points out that this is “…the longest passage put on the lips of any female speaker in the New Testament, this is the most any woman gets to say.” (p. 263). Also, “By placing the Magnificat on the lips of Mary, Luke depicts her as the spokeswoman for God’s redemptive justice, which will be such a part of the gospel. She proclaims the good news by anticipation, and she does so as a Jewish woman whose consciousness is deeply rooted in the heritage and wisdom of the strong women of Israel. Knowledgeable about the liberating traditions of her own people and trumpeting them with ‘tough authority,’ this friend of God stands as a prophet of the coming age.” (p. 267). </p>
<p>And Miriam sang: </p>
<p>“My soul proclaims your greatness, O my God, </p>
<p>and my spirit rejoices in God, my Savior. </p>
<p>For your regard has blessed me, poor, and a serving woman. </p>
<p>From this day all generations will call me blessed, </p>
<p>for you, who are mighty, have done great things for me; </p>
<p>and holy is your Name. </p>
<p>Your mercy is on those who fear you, from generation to generation. </p>
<p>You have shown strength with your arm. </p>
<p>You have scattered the proud in their hearts’ conceit. </p>
<p>You have put down the mighty from their thrones, </p>
<p>and have lifted up the lowly. </p>
<p>You have filled the hungry with good things, </p>
<p>and have sent the rich away empty. </p>
<p>You have helped your servant Israel, </p>
<p>remembering your mercy, </p>
<p>as you promised to Abraham and Sarah, </p>
<p>mercy to their children forever.” </p>
<p>(Carmelites of Indianapolis, 1997, as cited in Johnson, 2003, p 325) </p>
<p><strong>Use this link to read the PDF of this piece from Tau Center:</strong> <a contents="Miriam’s Relationship to Society" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/642a4059-a6ff-1eb8-9647-9b6bdb59a4f8/Advent_Week_4_PDF.01.pdf?mc_cid=5d48bb0af0&mc_eid=57dd53c3be">Miriam’s Relationship to Society</a> </p>
<p><strong>Reference for this reflection: </strong></p>
<p>Johnson, E. (2003). Truly Our Sister: A Theology of Mary in the Communion of Saints. The Continuum International Publishing Group. </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7121711
2022-12-12T13:44:21-06:00
2022-12-12T13:44:56-06:00
Relationship Through the Lens of Miriam of Nazareth — Part 3 of 5
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/1bedd36c6a2e371de3e13249edd53d70c7f12d2c/original/ddp-5lc3pp-v-x4-unsplash-copy.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />*The main source for this reflections series was the book Truly Our Sister: A Theology of Mary in the Communion of Saints, by Elizabeth A. Johnson. </p>
<p>*This reflection series was initially published by <a contents="Tau Center" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://taucenter.org">Tau Center</a>, a spirituality ministry of the Wheaton Franciscans. </p>
<p><strong>The Third Week of Advent — Miriam’s Relationship to Family: </strong></p>
<p>Tradition holds that Miriam’s parents were Anne and Joachim. According to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (2020), an ancient story shares that they initially grieved over not having children. Despite being old, they prayed and pleaded with God. Then angels appeared to both Anne and Joachim separately, promising them not only a child but one who would be known worldwide. Together they rejoiced and trusted God’s promise. Then Miriam was born. Though not noted in the biblical canon, through this legendary account we can imagine Miriam was cherished by her family. Her character, as displayed in Scripture, also makes it likely that she had been given a solid foundation in her youth. </p>
<p>In Miriam’s time, marriages were typically arranged. The requirement by Roman law was that the girl be at least twelve years old and the boy be at least fourteen (Johnson, p. 190). Historians believe Miriam was about this age when her marriage to Joseph began. While we don’t know what age Joseph was at that time, we can surmise that he was a faithful Jew who earned a living as a craftsman of wood and stone, part of the artisan-peasant class. The marriage process, according to Jewish custom, had two phases. First there was a betrothal wherein the two parties would formally agree to marriage and the bride price would be paid. At this point, the union was legally established, though the couple would not live together for about another year. It is here that Miriam becomes pregnant and Joseph is faced with the decision to divorce her or complete the marriage process. </p>
<p>Encouraged by an angel in a dream, Joseph ultimately decides not to abandon Miriam. Elizabeth Johnson writes, “The critical factor, according to the gospels, lay in the way he offered the protection of legal paternity to her firstborn son whom she conceived in what appeared to be dubious circumstances.” (p. 193) Centered on trust in God’s messengers, they complete the marriage process wherein Miriam would be ceremoniously moved into Joseph’s home to live and work amidst his extended family. Joseph accepts the baby in Miriam’s womb as his own, to provide for and raise. He protects this child from the start by fleeing with Miriam and Jesus to Egypt to escape the threat of King Herod. Surely what started as an arranged marriage in ancient Palestine is quite different than how we perceive marriage today, but we can presume that Miriam’s relationship with Joseph held purposefulness, compassion, and commitment. </p>
<p>The Gospel reading from Monday of this week reveals that Miriam also enjoyed a relationship with her relative Elizabeth. Miriam learns from the angel Gabriel that she is not alone in experiencing an unexpected pregnancy but that Elizabeth, who is quite old, is six months pregnant. The child in her womb will become known as John the Baptist. Miriam travels to visit Elizabeth and stays for about three months. “Being singled out as mothers of redemption made Elizabeth and Mary need each other for this and much more… Each needed to talk with another who knew what it meant to grapple with God’s intentions. Their mutual encouragement enabled them to go forward with more confidence and joy despite the struggle that still faced them.” (p. 260). Through this relationship we can infer that Miriam knew the value of women helping women and that she likely had the wisdom to seek out a mentor she could trust to understand. </p>
<p>Living in Nazareth as wife and mother, Miriam’s household was likely a full one. The Gospels refer to Jesus’ brothers and sisters, and while scholars debate three positions on the matter — children born to Miriam and Joseph after the birth of Jesus, children of Joseph’s by a previous marriage, or cousins of Jesus — we can conclude that Miriam had a role of caretaking for more than just Jesus (pp. 195-197). Typical dwelling spaces for a family of her social and economic status in Galilee would have been small, perhaps a room or two. (p. 142) This space was likely grouped with several other families, namely Joseph’s relatives or those connected to them. Each in their own quarters, built in a compound around a courtyard, these multigenerational groups could labor together, survive hardships, and celebrate life. </p>
<p>Miriam’s relationship to family was likely shaped by many connections. A grounded upbringing, an ultimately successful arranged marriage, closeness with women in her family like Elizabeth, parenting Jesus and nurturing other children, and the associations with extended family and in-laws all played a part. No doubt her life was meaningfully intertwined with many. </p>
<p><strong>Point of Reflection:</strong> Realizing the many features of Miriam’s relationship to family, are there some I can connect with over 2000 years later? Are there any I hope to foster in my life now, either with biological family or “chosen” family? </p>
<p><em>Being cherished… Having character… Finding a solid foundation… Centering on trust in God’s messengers… Living and working with others… Being protected… Purposefulness… Compassion… Commitment… Mutual encouragement… Seeking a mentor… Caretaking… Supporting one another through hardships… Celebrating… Appreciating shared accomplishments… Being meaningfully intertwined… </em></p>
<p><strong>What is one way I can improve my relationship to family? </strong></p>
<p><em>May you be inspired! </em></p>
<p><strong>For further reflection</strong>, you can sit with the words of the most popular Marian prayer. </p>
<p>“The Hail Mary,” known in Latin as the “Ave Maria,” was built over time, starting with the words of Scripture attributed to Angel Gabriel (Luke 1:28) and Elizabeth (Luke 1:42). The latter part of the prayer was added by the Church. The version we know and use today was finalized in the sixteenth century (Buono, n.d.). </p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong>The Hail Mary </strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you; <br>blessed are you among women, <br>and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. <br>Holy Mary, Mother of God, <br>pray for us sinners <br>now and at the hour of our death. <br>Amen. </p>
<p>Use this link to read the PDF of this piece from Tau Center: <a contents="Miriam’s Relationship to Family" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/f521e6b2-61fd-ff33-881a-eb21e9a0a674/Advent_Week_3_PDF.01.pdf?mc_cid=e98c2f96ae&mc_eid=57dd53c3be">Miriam’s Relationship to Family</a> </p>
<p><strong>References for this reflection:</strong> </p>
<ul> <li>United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. (2020) Novena Saints Anne and Joachim. Retrieved from https://www.usccb.org/resources/Sts%20Anne%20and%20Joachim%20Novena.pdf </li> <li>Johnson, E. (2003). Truly Our Sister: A Theology of Mary in the Communion of Saints. The Continuum International Publishing Group. </li> <li>Buono, A. (n.d.) History of the Hail Mary. University of Dayton. https://udayton.edu/imri/mary/h/hail-mary-prayer-history.php</li>
</ul>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7117621
2022-12-05T10:14:37-06:00
2022-12-12T13:44:45-06:00
Relationship Through the Lens of Miriam of Nazareth — Part 2 of 5
<p>*The main source for this reflections series was the book <em>Truly Our Sister: A Theology of Mary in the Communion of Saints</em>, by Elizabeth A. Johnson. </p>
<p>*This reflection series was initially published by <a contents="Tau Center" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://taucenter.org">Tau Center</a>, a spirituality ministry of the Wheaton Franciscans. </p>
<p><strong>The Second Week of Advent — Miriam’s Relationship to the Divine: </strong></p>
<p>Women are not mentioned a lot in Scripture in comparison to men. Yet Miriam plays a key role in the New Testament, and it is from that collection of stories we can glean something about her relationship to the Divine (Peters, n.d.). We know that Miriam was a first century Jewish woman. As a devout Jew, she was part of the covenant between the people and the God of Israel (Johnson, 2003, p. 163). At the heart of Judaism is the Shema, the fundamental teaching of Mosaic Law, which Miriam would have made as a confession of faith: “Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone! Therefore, you shall love the Lord, your God, with your whole heart, and with your whole being, and with your whole strength.” (New American Bible, Revised Edition, 2011, Deut. 6:4-5). </p>
<p>Yahweh is the God of Miriam’s ancestors, revelatory and personal, a God who acts in history to encourage the redemption of his people (Johnson, 2003, p. 163). Miriam’s relationship with the Divine must have given her courage to endure a scandalous pregnancy that legally subjected her to severe punishment (p. 225). Her confidence in God allows her not to merely endure the path of an unwed mother, amidst horrible social and political consequences, but to actively trust that Yahweh stood with her, the outcast. Holding to her faith, Miriam answered her vocation of motherhood by simply doing the next right thing. As Johnson puts it, because of Miriam’s choices “…henceforth God will be at home in the flesh of the world in a new way.” (p. 257). </p>
<p>Like many organized religions, Judaism for Miriam was a mixture of beliefs and practices (p. 165). Theologians have deduced that she and Jospeh were observant Jews, following the laws and rituals of the time including daily prayer, attending synagogue, taking sabbath rest, and making pilgrimages to the temple in Jerusalem. It is in their Jewish home that they raised Jesus who, though he challenged some of its teachings, never renounced the religion. The faith of Miriam, Joseph, and Jesus is the ground upon which this Holy Family embraced the messianic adventure unfolding in their lives (p. 26). The story of an unwed mother could have gone quite differently, especially in that time period. Yet God blessed the situation, not just for Miriam but forevermore. </p>
<p>It’s worth noting that this second week of Advent also holds the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception. This feast day, celebrated on December 8th, honors Miriam as the Mother of God and references the teaching that she was conceived in her mother’s womb without sin. Franciscan Theologian Duns Scotus suggested that Christ’s saving power is so perfect that sin never even entered her, demonstrating a gift given to Miriam and a sign of hope for us all (Shea, 2012). Or, said another way by Elizabeth Johnson (2003), “The opposite of sin is grace, and the Immaculate Conception means that Mary was uniquely blessed at the outset with the gift of grace, God’s own self-communication.” (p. 108). </p>
<p>There is a quality of mystery that accompanies each person’s relationship to the Divine, and Miriam is no different. Yet we get a glimpse of what we cannot know about Miriam by what we do know. She was dedicated to something larger than herself, with conviction and discipline, yielding to grace as a way of life. </p>
<p><strong>Point of Reflection:</strong> As I get a sense of Miriam’s relationship to the Divine, are there qualities of faith we hold in common? What aspects of my spiritual life do I want to cultivate? </p>
<p><em>Loving God with my whole heart, being, and strength… Looking for God’s acts of encouragement and redemption… Actively trusting God… Cooperating with Grace… Inviting God to be at home in the world through my flesh… Praying and resting… Embracing vocational adventures… Receiving gifts from God… Recognizing God’s self-communication… Being dedicated to something larger… Yielding to grace </em></p>
<p><strong>What is one way I can improve my relationship to the Divine? </strong></p>
<p><em>May you be inspired! </em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>For further reflection, you can listen to Tammy Winn’s original song <a contents="“Shema”" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://tammywinn.com/track/2126654/shema">“Shema.”</a></p>
<p>Following are the lyrics. </p>
<p><strong>Shema</strong> </p>
<p>© 2003, Tammy Ann Winn (ASCAP) </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Keep these words written on your heart </p>
<p>Share them both near and far </p>
<p>Bind these truths all around your home </p>
<p>The Lord our God is the Lord alone </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Remember God with all your might </p>
<p>Love with your whole heart and soul </p>
<p>Bear in mind this fact should you roam </p>
<p>The Lord our God is the Lord alone </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The law of the Lord will last </p>
<p>A privilege for us to hold up high </p>
<p>Break off the shackles from the past </p>
<p>And carry on in the light </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Please the Lord with compassionate strides </p>
<p>Pray for the strength to go on </p>
<p>Leave behind your heavy stones </p>
<p>The Lord our God is the Lord alone </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bind these truths all around your home </p>
<p>The Lord our God is the Lord alone </p>
<p>Bear in mind this fact should you roam </p>
<p>The Lord our God is the Lord alone </p>
<p>All of this I know you know </p>
<p>The Lord our God is the Lord alone </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Use this link to read the PDF of this piece from Tau Center:</strong> <a contents="Miriam’s Relationship to the Divine" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/e3f00298-cbe4-61e1-9148-b0d6f7d3b5f0/Advent_Week_2_PDF.02.pdf?mc_cid=9ede6166aa&mc_eid=57dd53c3be">Miriam’s Relationship to the Divine</a></p>
<p><strong>References for this reflection:</strong> </p>
<p>Peters, M. (n.d.). <em>Jewish Identity of Mary.</em> University of Dayton. https://udayton.edu/imri/mary/j/jewish-identity-of-mary.php </p>
<p>Johnson, E. (2003). <em>Truly Our Sister: A Theology of Mary in the Communion of Saints.</em> The Continuum International Publishing Group. </p>
<p><em>New American Bible, Revised Edition</em> (2011). United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. https://bible.usccb.org/bible/deuteronomy/6 </p>
<p>Shea, M. (2012). <em>The Immaculate Conception: Enter the Subtle Doctor: Duns Scotus.</em> National Catholic Register. https://www.ncregister.com/blog/the-immaculate-conception-enter-the-subtle-doctor-duns-scotus</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/62ca6270a891e230a65ad1938b894a9aeaacccdd/original/british-library-nn9tlhok8au-unsplash-copy.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7112329
2022-11-28T17:06:04-06:00
2023-12-10T12:08:28-06:00
Relationship Through the Lens of Miriam of Nazareth — Part 1 of 5
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/9d96be958778c58b9af4f90f5452501757dd01a3/original/the-annunciation-g80ee6c914-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>*The main source for this Advent reflections series was the book <em>Truly Our Sister: A Theology of Mary in the Communion of Saints</em>, by Elizabeth A. Johnson.</p>
<p>*This reflection series was initially published by <a contents="Tau Center" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://taucenter.org">Tau Center</a>, a spirituality ministry of the Wheaton Franciscans. </p>
<p><strong>Introduction:</strong> </p>
<p>Miriam (the Hebrew version of the name Mary), the mother of Jesus, comes to mind every Advent season as the one who cooperated with God to change the world. She is the most celebrated female figure in the Christian tradition and well known throughout the world beyond this one religion (Johnson, 2003, p. 3). Though most theologians did not mention Miriam in the first 300 years after Jesus’ life on earth, the study of Scripture, archaeological research, and other sources help reveal to us who this woman was. </p>
<p>Over time a theology has developed around Miriam that upholds her, in some circles, to be almost a Goddess. Teachings about her — having been conceived without sin, or being physically a virgin for life, or having been bodily assumed into heaven upon her death — are highlighted and set her apart from everyday people. While this reverence for her can represent a lovely devotion, it can also make the very real story of her historical life on earth less accessible to us. </p>
<p>Rather than only exalt her as exceptional, let us also embrace Miriam as an example of one who makes tangible for all of us the capacity to live full of grace (p. 23). In this reflection series we will seek to explore the historical Miriam and, in that context, consider the relationships she held. By exploring Miriam’s relationships, perhaps we’ll gain awareness about our formative associations and find inspiration to contemplate where we too are being invited into collaboration with God. </p>
<p><strong>The First Week of Advent — Miriam’s Relationship to Herself:</strong> </p>
<p>Miriam was a human being, a fascinating woman, on a spiritual journey. She is an an ancestor of ours in faith, who, like all of us, lived between challenge and grace. To understand some aspects of Miriam’s relationship to herself, we can look at the title bestowed on her as Virgin Mary. </p>
<p>The original definition of the term virgin did not mean one who has never had sex (Johnson, 2003, p. 31). Instead, as revealed in mythology, a virgin was someone with a quality of spiritual purity. The archetypal view of virginity denotes that a virgin was a person aware of their intrinsic value with a strong sense of autonomy. A virgin did not need to be validated by marriage or children, rather she relied on her own inner authority. By the fact that Miriam was given the title of virgin, we can imagine she knew her worth, paying little attention to identity or status. </p>
<p>Miriam’s relationship to herself is further revealed in the annunciation, wherein she receives an angelic line of communication with God. The angel Gabriel shares with her the plan and Miriam listens. We can envision her to be mentally tough and confident, someone who, in the words of Johnson paraphrasing Pope Paul VI, , “…had the wits to question back when the angel addressed her…” (p. 133). Then Miriam, without seeking external permission to respond, stands in her own dignity and courage to assert her agreement. She uses her voice and trusts her experience. </p>
<p>Through Miriam’s self-command as revealed in Scripture, and the many titles of honor given to her throughout centuries, we gather that this was a woman who had a well built relationship to herself. We see in her story how she accepts tremendous uncertainty with a firm understanding of who she is. Healthy self-love is required for such a path. </p>
<p><strong>Point of Reflection:</strong> When considering Miriam’s relationship to herself, to which of these attributes can I relate? Are there any I seek to further develop? </p>
<p><em>A quality of spiritual purity… An awareness of my intrinsic value… A strong sense of autonomy… The ability to rely on my own inner authority… A knowingness of my worth… Mental toughness… Confidence… Wit… A recognition of my personal dignity… Courage… Assertiveness… The power of using my voice… Trust in my own experience… The capacity to accept uncertainty… A healthy self-love… </em></p>
<p><strong>What is one way I can improve my relationship to self? </strong></p>
<p><em>May you be inspired!</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Use this link to read the PDF of this piece from Tau Center: <a contents="Introduction &amp; Miriam's Relationship to Herself" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/ad6c20e8-3415-dd79-cbaf-a5f1e17d5401/Advent_Week_1_PDF.01.pdf?mc_cid=8bfa9eb07c&mc_eid=57dd53c3be&fbclid=IwAR0ZNItn5gl4CADCVXo6yltXasxwiagFXNCpT4A--jRCbm_J8lWk3t6ccjc">Introduction & Miriam's Relationship to Herself</a></p>
<p>Reference for this reflection: </p>
<p>Johnson, E. (2003). <em>Truly Our Sister: A Theology of Mary in the Communion of Saints.</em> The Continuum International Publishing Group. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7110844
2022-11-26T09:56:32-06:00
2022-11-26T10:01:57-06:00
Discerning and Wise
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/1901620409ae67a1cc0b11cca34985b07ef97675/original/james-lee-bmo1szqhwrs-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />“Death is what gives life meaning, to know your days are numbered, your time is short,” says the Ancient One in the Marvel Movie <em>Dr. Strange</em>. That quotation struck me this week. It caused me to consider the gamut of death, from a single sacrifice to a heart that no longer beats. There are many ways we die in between being born and being buried. </p>
<p>As I contemplate all that absorbs our life force, these questions come forward. For whatever it is you choose to give up a slice of your energy or a portion of your time, is it adding any value to some part of the world? Whether for creature or cause, no matter how big or small, is the act making a deposit into Love? If it isn’t, then it’s just loss and demise, a waste. It it is, however, then this is the substance of purpose, what it really means to live. </p>
<p>Our lives as we experience them today have limits. Lifespans are momentary. Yet if we can be discerning and wise with how we take our circumstances and reach for the most loving way forward, we are somehow woven into that big eternal Love of the universe forever. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7106039
2022-11-18T20:53:33-06:00
2022-11-26T10:00:16-06:00
The Steady Center of Our Being
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/5dcab4f77f78c6d888fa0b58992d28e4c2c02531/original/gratitude-gdbcd80078-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Just last night I read something beautiful that Richard Rohr wrote about the soul in <em>Breathing Under Water</em>. “The soul does not attach, nor does it hate; it desires and loves and lets go.” </p>
<p>I’ve always been one to lament over unrealized potential. I grieve when the free will of one harms or limits the life of another. And regardless of how much I have learned and have tried to keep realistic expectations about such things, the wastefulness of it all breaks my heart again and again. I try to lovingly detach and I certainly try not to hate. Yet I do ache at times for what could have been. </p>
<p>All I know at this point in my journey is that in the longing there is a resolute hope… in the loving there is an intelligent grace… and in the letting go there is an imperative freedom. Hope, grace, and freedom. This does seem to be the eternal “stuff” of the soul. And hidden within all of creation is a constant invitation to anchor one’s life in that which can never be destroyed. </p>
<p>In this season of declared Thanksgiving, rather than cling to the attachments and grievances of the ego, maybe we can try instead to align with the steady center of our being. Perhaps we will discover there our deepest gratefulness… for merely having this experience at all. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7100668
2022-11-11T18:48:02-06:00
2022-11-11T18:51:50-06:00
Warm Your Wings
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/8e101ec76d331a7de5b2743e5e7ba6c13c566df5/original/aaron-burden-nefvs5rlcfy-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The other day my youngest shared with me a fun fact from <em>National Geographic’s Weird but True!</em> book three. It says, “Butterflies must warm their wings in the sun before flying.” I thought of the monarchs who have recently started south for their annual migration. Considering that, and the information my daughter shared with me, two reminders came to mind. </p>
<p>One is that we all would be wise to practice the self care of “warming our wings” before taking action. There are certain intrinsic needs we must tend to first or we simply cannot take flight. </p>
<p>The second is that we all would be wise to “fly south” and follow the sun, to stay close to the very Source of that warmth we so vitally need. I think we, like the butterflies, can intuit when it’s time to reorient ourselves on such Love. </p>
<p>How do you warm your wings? </p>
<p>How do you stay close to the Source of Love? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7096290
2022-11-05T10:33:54-06:00
2022-11-05T10:42:35-06:00
The Enneagram
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/020130d74c69205113bb1b5edcd3ee41ca825c35/original/istock-179298031.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Lately I’ve been diving deep into the Enneagram to prepare for a program that I’ll be presenting. The Enneagram is a profound and dynamic tool for self-discovery and transformation. While some may use it for simple entertainment, to categorize one’s personality or put others in a box, it actually stands to offer us much more. </p>
<p>As seen through a spiritual lens, which is how the Enneagram emerged, it is a mechanism that challenges us to face our compulsions. These often are the very traits of our personality perceived as gifts, yet they have dark underbellies that frequently go unnoticed. As we intentionally build awareness, however, these defining aspects of our personalities become integrated into a healthier way of being. </p>
<p>At its deepest level, the Enneagram is a way of discerning spirits, an instrument that helps us to notice the movements of soul and the energies that impact whether we grow closer to or further from our center in Love. Like many spiritual resources, the Enneagram provides a path of inner work that ultimately leads to greater wholeness. In a word, it promotes freedom. </p>
<p>Maybe you be inspired!</p>
<p>P.S. If you are interested in attending via Zoom the “Introduction to Enneagram” program I’m leading this Thursday (November 10th, 2022), you can register using the following link. The fee is simply a donation in any amount to Tau Center, a Spirituality Ministry of the Wheaton Franciscans. </p>
<p>https://www.eventbrite.com/e/introduction-to-the-enneagram-via-zoom-tickets-417104499787 </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7091532
2022-10-29T16:43:53-06:00
2022-10-29T16:43:54-06:00
Somewhere in the Middle
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/b280477612b2a301247188900f0300560ae2848c/original/grandpa-gcb6c5720a-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />My paternal grandfather’s birthday was this past week. I never met him as he passed just months before my parents were married. From what I’ve heard, he was a renaissance man of sorts, talented in many areas including music, dancing, teaching, woodworking and athletics. Those who knew him regarded him as a kind person, warm and loving. My grandpa had a twinkle in his eyes that even I can pick up in the few photographs of him that remain. He was a wonderful person in many regards… and he suffered from the disease of alcoholism.</p>
<p>Real relationships are not experienced in absolutes. There are complexities and contradictions throughout. If we judge someone based only on one difficult aspect of who they are, we will fail to see many of their blessings. If we go to extremes and label them all bad or all good, we miss the truth that lies somewhere in the middle. My grandpa had a mix of vices and virtues like most of us. I suppose that’s why I can’t recall my dad ever saying a cross word about him. My dad loved his father and seemed to have compassion for him despite the heartache for what could have been. My grandparents divorced when my dad was about ten years old. My dad took this pain and redeemed it as much as he could by putting 110% into being there for his own four children.</p>
<p>Many of my grandpa’s talents and interests continue to connect him to subsequent generations. Between my dad, us adult children, and our own kids, we have had all of my grandpa’s gifts represented at times, though the woodworking is lagging. Perhaps one day I will explore that craft more fully. All of this to say, it is good to recognize my grandpa’s positive qualities in our genetics alongside being mindful of his deepest struggle. And for what it’s worth, my dad once shared with me about a mystical experience he had after his father died, wherein my dad was assured that his father was finally healed in heaven.</p>
<p>There are many factors that shape who we are and who we become. When taking a good look at ourselves or others let us keep a moderate view. We can reverence one another more fully by meeting the truth that lies somewhere in the middle with love.</p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7086800
2022-10-22T14:12:03-06:00
2022-10-22T15:47:45-06:00
Effort is Required
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/3eab8cc3333805b4c19580b76bf96329f2fd2ea2/original/trekking-g9b02715e2-1280.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>We often look for our own faults in others. For example, if we suspect someone is judging us about something chances are it’s because we have been judgmental about that very thing ourselves at times. The person we’re wondering about may not in fact be judging us at all, but we latch on to that theory due to our own indiscretions. Our shadow aspects have a way of feeding our insecurities. </p>
<p>We also often look for our virtues in others. If we’re quite trustworthy in our day to day living, we’re inclined to assume this quality in the people around us. This is where we can be called naive for thinking someone’s word is solid when in reality they are lying or being manipulative. Our light aspects have a way of leaving us vulnerable. </p>
<p>What then is the invitation for our well-being? </p>
<p>If we work with the parts of ourselves that we find undesirable, we can stop projecting them onto others and promote healing both individually and interpersonally. </p>
<p>If we work to build awareness of the exposure that comes with living authentically, we can practice a mindfulness that protects our energy from any real threat, holding a boundary that leaves others to carry their own vices. </p>
<p>To put it simply, it’s up to us to mend our broken pieces and to live out the illumination with which we’ve been gifted. Shrinking back is not an option if we want to maximize the experience of living in community. In other words, effort is required. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7080602
2022-10-13T10:07:44-06:00
2022-10-13T10:07:44-06:00
A Few Deep Breaths
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/2e1c15301fd2a8f1d79c6510caffbf5bb6c80739/original/colorful-gbc55075fa-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Autumn in the Midwest is stunning. The trees are like a visual symphony, each knowing when to play their part… bursting forward in gold, orange, red, and purple, with varying hues throughout. And for as long as I can remember I’ve loved how Mother Earth seems to do her deep breathing exercises this time of year. With each full inhale and exhale of wind, the leaves that are ready to let go of the branch do a trust fall to the ground in graceful surrender. Others, already there, dance around as if to greet the new arrivals. Sometimes they organize themselves in little upward spirals, crescendoing at a point and then gently they glide back to the earth’s surface. It’s all so beautiful to witness, the Creator’s regenerative artwork in motion, unfolding in real time before our eyes. </p>
<p>All year long I like to take what I call “prayer walks” outside. This involves a combination of physical activity, breathing exercises of my own, mentally turning challenges over to Divine Intelligence, intentionally counting my blessings, and more. It’s a time when I reboot my system to align with the good. I always feel at least a little better afterward. Taking these walks this time of year, amidst such beauty, reminds me that something larger holds all of this, including all of us, and that the experience of being alive on this planet in this space in time is pure gift. If we’re not mindful to appreciate the moments we may miss the whole. After all, days have a way of rolling into weeks that roll into months that roll into seasons that roll into years that roll into decades that roll into lifespans. </p>
<p>The fall colors are only in full brilliance but a few weeks. Pause and look around. Join Mother Earth in a few deep breaths. Never before and never again will it be quite like this. </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7077491
2022-10-08T09:31:05-06:00
2022-10-08T09:37:25-06:00
Fill Your Own Bucket
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/1527c92981c261ff5a3e89be3c66f462adee3596/original/fikri-rasyid-ljnrzbdfdi4-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Remember learning about “bucket filing?” Books for adults and children alike have been written about this topic, with some unique and useful variations. The general idea is that we all carry an invisible bucket of well-being. Our interactions with others can empty or fill our buckets. Positive encounters, such as acts of kindness or empathy, are bucket fillers that lift us up and help us to feel good. Negative exchanges, such as put-downs or harsh criticism, are bucket emptiers that drain us and leave us feeling badly. </p>
<p>What I like to remember, however, is that keeping my bucket full does not rely solely on the behavior of others. Instead, I can be intentional about filling my own bucket. </p>
<p>Pay attention to what makes you come alive and puts a skip in your step. Notice what gives you calm and contentment. Observe when you are in a state of presence and gratefulness. If you have practices that help you access these thoughts and feelings, regardless of what others do or don’t do, then you have discovered ways to fill your own bucket. </p>
<p>One of my favorite ways to fill my own bucket is horseback riding. I know the experience will fill my bucket because of the pure happiness I feel just to be around horses. I’m thrilled to groom and tack a horse to get it ready for riding, and overjoyed to actually ride it. Once my time with the horse is over I walk away feeling elated and eager to do it again. </p>
<p>There are many ways to fill our buckets that don’t directly involve other people, such as writing, going on a walk, or creating art. From time to time we can take an inventory of such things that offer us this kind of satisfaction and be proactive about doing more of them. </p>
<p>In what activity do you get so easily immersed that you don’t realize the passage of time? Is there a way you like to “reboot” your system to align with the good things of life? Do you have something you like to do that always leaves you feeling better afterward? </p>
<p>Sure it’s nice to fill one another’s buckets and it is important that we do so whenever possible. By practicing the healthy self-care act of filling our own buckets, however, we take a little pressure off those around us. We remind ourselves that we’re ultimately responsible for our emotional serenity. Plus, filling our own buckets teaches us to befriend ourselves and, considering we’re with ourselves until the end, that’s a worthwhile skill to have. </p>
<p>How might you fill your own bucket today?</p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7072778
2022-10-01T18:42:16-06:00
2022-10-01T18:42:17-06:00
Meet It With Intention
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/08531ed1f2af37f81543362ec621bfad91ca69b7/original/joshua-earle-dwheufds6kq-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Do you have a big problem in your life? Maybe it’s a dilemma in your work environment… maybe it’s a challenging relationship with your child… maybe it’s grieving a significant loss… maybe it’s navigating a troubled marriage… and so on. </p>
<p>If we could really see what goes on behind closed doors in the homes of others we would realize that most people have some area of life causing them discontent or worse. Difficulty is one of the common denominators of being alive. It comes and goes, though sometimes feels chronic. </p>
<p>What if we take the piece of struggle before us and make it our spiritual practice? What if we look for whatever graces may be revealed in time as we deal with an issue? Perhaps we strengthen our confidence… grow in humility… become more compassionate… discover our resilience… and so on. Surely something beautiful is being carved out in us as we evolve through pain. </p>
<p>Next time a hardship is before you, you can meet it with intention instead of suffering for suffering’s sake. You can embrace the tribulation as your spiritual practice, rendering some meaning or purpose from it, some value for the role it plays in your life.</p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7067183
2022-09-23T10:34:23-06:00
2022-09-23T10:34:24-06:00
Why Not Name It
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/91e16c0c092f7c4baf33fd6f29f11033313d272a/original/hannah-busing-uvuxaxfp4f0-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />In the past year I’ve had two unrelated relationships get strained for different reasons. In both cases there were some confusing pieces, assumptions made, and things left unsaid. Each situation reached a point where it seemed to me that if the matter wasn’t addressed, there would be a fading out of the connection. And since I aspire to keep authentic friendships, I went there. I took the risk to name the elephant in the room with each person. I tried to open up a discussion that could clear the air and heal anything in need of healing. </p>
<p>With one person, this effort was received and after a couple of real conversations we got back on track. I’m grateful I took the chance to cut through the misunderstandings and I’m grateful this person was willing to meet me there. We had not forgotten one another’s hearts. </p>
<p>With the other, it blew up in my face. Quickly I realized that this person did not want to go there. It was as if sharing my experience conjured up more than they could handle. Had I not gone the genuine route we might still be in touch. But I don’t regret trying to bridge the gap as it’s better to know the limits of this situation for now. </p>
<p>So often we are afraid to dive into the messiness of honest communication, to give the benefit of the doubt, to look at our shadows, to acknowledge shared pain, and to reach for a loving response that promotes reconciliation. And true, sometimes this process won’t unfold the way we had hoped it might. Yet if we don’t go there, we’ll never know the potential of our relationships. So why not name it and find out. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7061940
2022-09-16T13:19:46-06:00
2022-09-16T13:20:44-06:00
The Only Moment
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/c377ff0e2e5cfb88d4cd69e9d3bf199bd9cb9ae9/original/shantanu-kulkarni-hvdkj9aisuc-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />If we have lived long enough, we have been hurt at one time or another. If we haven’t healed those wounds or set them free, they might resurface every so often to take our mind on a tour of the past. We may feel regret or curiously ponder the "what ifs" that never will be. </p>
<p>Likewise we all anticipate the future sometimes. If we are worried about something coming up, we might mentally rehearse how we will handle it. Our energy is spent in anticipation, or perhaps even dread, of what might happen. Often that something never materializes. </p>
<p>There‘s nothing wrong with taking a careful review every now and again of lessons learned, or planning for how to get the best results regarding a future situation. But let us keep front and center this awareness: the only moment we can ever truly hold is now.</p>
<p>I, for one, don’t want to miss it. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7057691
2022-09-10T16:10:55-06:00
2022-09-10T16:34:45-06:00
Settled For Now
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/c225acbf6ea27df3bee6e8e9ed97a4cf837d91c0/original/floortwelve-rpadsiwa0ji-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />When discerning between options we’re often advised to look for the path that is most life-giving or offers us peace. But there are times in life when the possibilities before us don’t amount to choosing between goods. Sometimes no trajectory feel positive or brings the tranquility we imagine the “right” choice ought to provide. Yet we’re compelled to step in one direction or another because, in certain cases, not moving is not an option. </p>
<p>In conundrums such as these, we might need to adjust our expectations for how we’re supposed to feel. Maybe all courses of action before us are laden with struggle, in which case we can seek the one that is the least bad. And so we make a decision that settles the matter for now… until circumstances shift in time and we can reevaluate. We may not feel peaceful in the traditional sense of the word, but we can try to make our peace with what is, as it is. </p>
<p>When we allow a difficult situation to be settled for now, we free up energy to focus on and enjoy other areas of life that aren’t so challenging. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7051786
2022-09-02T09:39:55-06:00
2022-09-02T14:05:45-06:00
Speak Wisely
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/b6204c27be9446132a546a430b8f362c375046dc/original/bible-g18c0e73ed-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Some people are addicted to trash talk. It’s how their ego gets fuel. And given that like attracts like, it’s easy for gossip groups to form. Often they circle around a ring leader who directs the narrative, disparaging other people. It’s a little bit like a hornet hive, with all the worker hornets in service to the dominant queen. </p>
<p>If you stand outside of the badmouthing “hive,” you might wonder what all the fuss is about, watching the hornets in their busybody activities. But of course there is consensus around the hive. There has to be in order for it to meet the colony’s objective which, in the case of meddlers, is to inflate their own sense of self-importance at the expense of others. </p>
<p>But who really wants to be near a hive of hornets? Or for or that matter around people who talk badly behind others’ backs? You can be sure that if they talk to you about another, they are also talking about you to someone else. </p>
<p>Instead of dishing dirt, or making judgements without context, let’s opt for loving-kindness, empathy, and compassion. Let’s humble ourselves enough to know that we don’t know the whole story, the inner workings of another’s reality. Let’s recognize that slandering someone is deceitful and only adds negativity to a situation, making us part of the problem. </p>
<p>And if we’re on the receiving end of someone’s juicy rant we can remember the expression, “Just because someone says it doesn’t make it true.” We can choose not to participate in denigrating another human being. Surely there are better uses of our time and energy! </p>
<p>What we say matters. Our speech can build up or tear down. How we decide to use it will say far more about ourselves than anyone else. Speak wisely.</p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7047577
2022-08-27T20:05:21-06:00
2022-08-27T20:10:41-06:00
Silence Should Have Its Say
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/5b3db676152e7c6415aebb74827a18c8b8ae5f35/original/ocean-biggshott-97w2bksvyaw-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I’m what you might call an outgoing introvert. I love being around people, sharing stories, and asking lots of questions. Yet after certain gatherings, I enjoy a noiseless space to recharge. </p>
<p>This had me thinking lately about how, over the past few years, our lives went from hustle and bustle to pandemic lockdown… and now it seems we’re back on track toward restoring the crazy pace our culture knew before. </p>
<p>Whether introverted or not, we’d do well to calm the hype going on in our outer world by quieting our inner world. If we can deliberately embrace the value of silence, we may model its usefulness for others to consider. Our practice might include not filling a conversation gap with some kind of commentary or not urging someone to speak before they are ready. And if something doesn’t really need to be said, maybe try skipping it this time. After all, silence should have its say too. </p>
<p>Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Speak only if it improves upon the silence.” I’ve found the quiet holds an invitation to presence unlike any other sound. In fact, it defines all the rest.</p>
<p>How can you practice more silence in your life? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7042344
2022-08-20T09:26:14-06:00
2022-08-20T10:35:44-06:00
Spend Your Love
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/ad5f6faa8f9ca50096435c9c0ca59d950b1a048b/original/micheile-dot-com-12w-yubljnc-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The month of August often marks the passage of time for me. Among some birthdays, the school year starting up again, and summer winding down I am reminded that life is cyclical, short, and precious. </p>
<p>In line with these feelings, a longtime friend of mine reached out recently in a pocket of grief over all the hopes that will never be this side of heaven. There are loved ones who died too soon, dreams that time has marched past, and choices we cannot undo. </p>
<p>And yet, there is still love in the bank, love that is ours to spend while we are here. </p>
<p>At times we might feel like we have ended up somewhere we weren’t supposed to be… maybe it’s in a lackluster job, or dealing with a difficult relationship, or void of some blessing we always counted on having like children, a comfortable home, good health, or a special companion. </p>
<p>We can feel limited by our responsibilities and commitments, tangled up in all that has brought us to where we are with no easy course correction. It is here we can be tempted to look at our daily use of energy as a waste. </p>
<p>But still, there is love in the bank, love that is ours to spend while we are here. </p>
<p>And what if all that has led us to this point in time is actually the training ground for how we are to spend the love we have? </p>
<p>What if we took that love and with an intentional focus made deposits into our messy lives just as they are? What if we concentrated on growing that love by investing it in people, projects, and areas of great potential? What if we allocated one bit of that love today toward something life-giving, something that would remind us of Love’s regenerative power? </p>
<p>Can we get excited about spending our love this way? Can we trust that, even if it doesn’t look the way we expected it to look, we still have something very worthwhile to offer? </p>
<p>Perhaps this is what destiny is all about. </p>
<p>How will you spend your love? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7037358
2022-08-13T15:05:50-06:00
2022-08-13T15:07:49-06:00
Powerless and Empowered
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/4bae220aad81b47b85ea1db6f2a3452341be2815/original/nadiia-ploshchenko-wlusbd3ntru-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Typical 12 step programs begin with admitting one is powerless over the matter at hand. There is something to be said for being honest with ourselves about that which is outside of our control. I think it’s equally important, however, to couple that admission with naming what is within our control; to balance where one is powerless with where one is empowered. </p>
<p>Let’s look at some examples. I might be powerless over how another treats me, but I am empowered to decide whether or not to spend time with them. I might be powerless over my children’s choices, but I am empowered to be a positive role model for them. I might be powerless over other drivers, but I am empowered to drive safely myself. I might be powerless to solve global poverty, but I am empowered to contribute to a local food pantry. And so on… </p>
<p>Recognizing where one is powerless or empowered is the divine intelligence of the "Serenity Prayer” — to surrender what is beyond control alongside embracing personal agency. The prayer petitions for peace when realizing our limitations… for bravery when claiming our authority… and for good judgement when discerning between the two. </p>
<p>To be powerless and to be empowered is to do what is ours to do and to turn the rest over to God. </p>
<p>May you be be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7031727
2022-08-05T14:57:16-06:00
2022-08-05T14:59:44-06:00
The Gift of Another Year
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/02f0549f86ae5086df4dbaad8fcea472d9039b99/original/roberto-arias-5v-pmmsv7wk-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Soon yours truly will begin another orbit around the sun, with the help of our planet. Birthdays are typically a point of reflection for me, a chance to evaluate where I’ve been and where I’m headed, amidst taking time to celebrate. This year I find myself thinking less about the specifics — the good, bad, and complicated aspects of life — and more about the encompassing, simple truth that it is pure gift to be alive. </p>
<p>It’s understandable at times when people complain about aging or vent about difficult experiences in life. There are hardships of all kinds, no question. Yet I tend to think of the “wear and tear” of existing like the lyrics of a song by the Indigo Girls, “Get Out the Map.” It says, “With every lesson learned, a line upon your beautiful face.” Laugh lines and crows feet just reflect the miles walked, the wisdom gathered, and the joy embraced. Each wrinkle, each gray hair, each area of collagen loss, simply means you're one of the lucky ones to have reached this point. </p>
<p>I intend to be a centenarian someday, decades from now, God-willing, but I know that to simply be alive today is grace in real time. And I am reminded that, whatever the experience, to get the gift of another year, another moment actually, is nothing to take for granted. I am grateful. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7026939
2022-07-29T19:26:02-06:00
2022-07-29T19:31:00-06:00
Beauty for Ashes
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/6ebb9ef992fd93b9961a76491b32dfc371638a5a/original/linus-sandvide-5difvvwe6wk-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />We’ve heard such stories as these from those who have received beauty for their ashes:<br> </p>
<p>I had no idea I’d be called to grief counseling one day… </p>
<p>and that what would qualify me was having endured sudden, tragic loss. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I had no idea I’d be called to marriage ministry one day… </p>
<p>and that what would qualify me was having encountered desperate heartache over my spouse’s infidelity. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I had no idea I’d be called to work with disabled children one day… </p>
<p>and that what would qualify me was having birthed a child born with a handicap. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I had no idea I’d be called to work with victims of domestic violence one day… </p>
<p>and that what would qualify me was having survived an abusive relationship. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I had no idea I’d be called to serve families of addicts… </p>
<p>and that what would qualify me was having witnessed a loved one’s deterioration through addiction. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I had no idea I’d be called to adopt amazing children… </p>
<p>and that what would qualify me was having faced the sorrow of infertility. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I had no idea I’d be called to be a psychotherapist… </p>
<p>and that what would qualify me was having suffered depression and anxiety for years. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I had no idea I’d be called to advocate for the marginalized… </p>
<p>and that what would qualify me was having been raised in poverty. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fill in the blanks. </p>
<p>I had no idea I’d be called to… </p>
<p>and that what would qualify me was having… </p>
<p> </p>
<p>What is your story? </p>
<p>How has your darkest hour been transformed into grace that blesses others? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7021113
2022-07-23T16:17:10-06:00
2022-07-23T16:17:10-06:00
One Step Forward
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/b15f1e48c682844b8c2cdc359347b9c0b17836a7/original/elephants-g8b922019e-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Sometimes in life we passionately want something that seems so out of reach. This makes the wanting painful and we’re tempted to surrender our dream just to stop hurting over it. Instead of focusing on not having it, however, we can choose to take one step toward the goal. Even the tiniest movement in the direction we want to go can remind us that we’re not powerless. And as the familiar saying goes, ”A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” </p>
<p>I was sharing this concept with my daughters recently over a dear wish in their hearts and a personal example came to mind. As a child I learned about Africa and sensed that one day I would go there. I didn’t know when or how, and of course the world seemed much larger to me then so it seemed a bit far fetched. Fast forward to young adulthood wherein the assassination of Fr. John Kaiser, a relative of mine, gave rise to a deep interest in Kenya for me. Alas I knew where in Africa I was to go, yet I had no idea of by what means I would get there. The only thing that was clear is that I was being called to Kenya. So with that prompting from Spirit I took one step forward and started a savings account for this goal with a few bucks I had. Little by little I’d fundraise and deposit the cash into that account until six years later I found the opportunity to realize this dream. Collaborating with a non-profit group and alongside my music partner, I made my way to Kenya. It was a journey of many blessings that includes ongoing, impactful relationships to this day. </p>
<p>Let us not be discouraged from any dream we hold in our hearts, any vision or calling or invitation that reaches our soul. Instead, we can have courage and make one step forward, and then another, until we arrive to our destination. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7015727
2022-07-15T17:11:42-06:00
2022-07-15T17:11:42-06:00
True Security
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/8827c8f0a1e52d55f8715535b0d30182a894889e/original/jpeg-image.jpeg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />We all live with a false sense of security, such as if we take care of our health we’ll live a long life… or if we’re loving and conscientious parents our children will stay on track… or if we are a dedicated partner our spouse will never leave us… or if we give 110% to our work that such loyalty will be honored with job stability… and the list goes on. In reality too often we see examples to the contrary. Tragedy strikes or the unthinkable happens. We are shocked to experience the disintegration of something once so solid, and sometimes it happens in the blink of an eye. </p>
<p>Perhaps the only source of true security in life is the Spirit, the Energy of Love, whatever you want to call it. It’s that something that holds all of us, something larger than the sum of its parts, the Creative Force of the Universe that many call God. It seems to me this Soul Life is the only constant, and the only ‘thing” that cannot be destroyed. </p>
<p>I find it worthwhile to cultivate a connection to this Loving Presence, found within us and all around us. If we tune in to it we can sense its its timelessness, its regenerative nature regardless of what the outside world brings. Maybe this indestructible and eternal gift of Sacred Being is our true security. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7010315
2022-07-08T07:35:29-06:00
2022-07-15T14:43:02-06:00
Where Our Power Lies
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/b54f3ea088c702af0c9b1c0ec3e91060bbfeda8e/original/guilherme.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />At times in life we may encounter the troublesome behavior of a loved one. When we witness this we may be tempted to step into given situations and try to fix them. Or we may try to articulate our understanding of a better way in hopes of encouraging change. And there are numerous other ways we might try to handle the problems that arise until we are exhausted. When at last we find the dysfunction just too deep for us to survive anymore, we give up. But what is it that we actually give up in this moment of surrender? We concede responsibility for another’s choices. </p>
<p>When we experience this shift we start to truly realize where our power lies and that is over ourselves. We are wise to then contemplate what is actually within our control, and do that. When we focus on cleaning up our side of the street — and leave the rest up to God — we can enjoy a peace that comes with knowing we’ve done our part. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7006584
2022-07-02T16:49:42-06:00
2022-07-02T16:53:19-06:00
It’s the How
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/d71bda5a24b6f6277dbdb307cc2d8132a7eadd8e/original/tim-mossholder-pbtvhdz1oji-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />After talking with some friends about difficult relationships in our lives, I was reminded of a common point of challenge. Someone ends up arguing with someone else over the delivery of a message, before ever getting to the actual matter intended for discussion. Regardless of the topic — it could be sharing an opinion, making plans, offering feedback, you name it — it’s often not the “what” that causes people to get upset; it’s the “how.” </p>
<p>How we speak to one another… how we make room for varying viewpoints… how we express compassion for each other even when we don’t see the situation the same way… how we enter into compromise… how we take responsibility for our part… how we extend the grace of forgiveness or benefit of the doubt to someone else… these are the “hows” that make all the difference. These are the “hows” that open the door to trust, reconciliation, and cooperation. </p>
<p>How we communicate with one another has a significant effect on our relationships. When we get the “how” right often the “what” falls into a peaceful place. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/7001061
2022-06-24T13:43:18-06:00
2022-06-24T13:43:18-06:00
What Makes Us Free
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/2cb48f2c602afae0637f84c2d1d98fd5f4e9cae7/original/aldebaran-s-uxchdiks4qi-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />In her book <em>Violence and Nonviolence in Scripture: Helping Children Understand Challenging Stories</em>, author Catherine Maresca writes, “…God does not force change, but allows us to experience to consequences of our choices. This is the vulnerability of God. God has made space for us to act in the universe by a kind of divine self-limitation.” </p>
<p>What a beautiful concept to remind us that vulnerability is part of the territory of Love. I don’t mean the kind of vulnerability that asks us to trust another, rather I’m talking about the kind of vulnerability that asks us to surrender the self. To limit ourselves in a healthy way, to relinquish control, speaks to the truth that in order to really Love we must welcome the freedom that comes with it. In doing so we simply cannot know what will happen next. For example, when a woman births a baby there is Love, and complete uncertainty. Or when one stands in solidarity with another who is suffering there is Love, and no way to predict what the cost may be. Still we understand, at some primal level, that this is what Love asks of us and it is the only path there. </p>
<p>To Love is indeed to be vulnerable, to set aside our own agendas and make space for the cause and effect of another in this universal dance. Love is what makes us free. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6996838
2022-06-18T10:20:05-06:00
2022-06-18T10:20:05-06:00
Foundation of Love
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/122eed9af60a10c8dc8f41e366fdced0f9151644/original/kevin-young-z5qd8t3wvvk-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />This week I had the joy of talking to our church's Vacation Bible School students about the Foundation of Love. As I told the kids, when we say that Love is the foundation of our lives, we’re saying that Love needs to be the first part in place, the most steady part, because it supports everything else we do. </p>
<p>In the book of Ephesians (3:17), in the Bible, it describes the goal for us to be “rooted and grounded in love.” From this foundation all else grows and flourishes. When talking with the children about this idea I used an analogy of a tree. The roots of a tree are its foundation, carrying nutrition from the ground to the rest of the tree. This makes the tree sturdy and durable. The roots also hold the tree in place so the trunk and branches we see above the ground can reach up and out, sharing the tree’s gifts of shade, oxygen, sometimes flowers, and so forth. This is how a tree gives glory to God and it can do all of this because of its solid foundation. We are like the trees. If we make sure to plant our lives on a solid foundation of Love, we too will grow strong and be able to give our best to the world. </p>
<p>How might we recenter our lives on Love, to make sure it is the core upon which all else is built? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6991258
2022-06-10T12:37:23-06:00
2022-06-10T12:37:23-06:00
Masks and Mirrors
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/9ea5b1fa491f08aebf69628fc67f9bec7bc71d3a/original/woman-gef3eacb65-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />We all have a Persona, which is the role we play in society. The word Persona comes from Latin and means “mask.” Our Personas are what we present to the outside world, and this presentation may or may not be congruent with who we are behind the mask. For example, one may be so thoughtful and considerate toward a stranger at the grocery store, a neighbor across the street, or a member of their church, yet go home and rage at a family member, gossip about a relative, or lie to a loved one. Others may not be as duplicitous, however, as they commit to building an awareness of their contradictory behaviors and intentionally practice being more consistent. </p>
<p>Authentic relationships require us to take the mask off and be seen more fully — our wounds and imperfections, our hopes and dreams, our shortcomings and shadow sides. And when we move into such a space with someone, whether by proximity or time, we are exposed. There’s no way around it. We end up mirroring to one another difficult and vulnerable pieces, the areas in our lives demanding growth. </p>
<p>With the reflection we receive from another we can make a choice to do the inner work that is ours to do. However, as a long-time friend of mine recently said, it is easer to cut out the mirror and flee the relationship than to face the pain of what needs healing. But if two can hold a compassionate presence, being patient and forgiving with one another in this evolutionary process, then they will reach true intimacy — knowing and being known within a wide love that is strong enough to hold all the parts. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6986771
2022-06-04T12:13:41-06:00
2022-06-04T12:27:52-06:00
A Train Ride
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/83f50a81dd5b181335446cf49860c094bd0691d0/original/nilantha-sanjeewa-wyuwxytw0pq-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>A friend recently shared an analogy she learned which compared life to a train ride. The train will likely go through beautiful scenery, unpleasant scenery, and everything in between. It’s easier to stay on the train (i.e. stay in a given place, relationship, or situation) when we remember that the terrain will eventually change. When it’s good, appreciate that. When it’s not, be comforted knowing that “this too shall pass.” And often difficulties and joys coexist on the same ride. There might be a delightful view out of one side of the train and a disappointing view out of the other, in which case why not fix our gaze on what is pleasing. </p>
<p>When the view is challenging all around, we may be tempted to make a transfer. Just remember you take yourself with you wherever you go. Switching trains could simply be trading in one set of problems for another. True discernment is necessary at such a time. Something that feels intolerable today could be a non-issue a few years from now if we just stay on the train and ride it out. </p>
<p>It's been said that the one consistent thing about life is that it is always changing. Rest assured the train ride will offer variety and adventure… and, hopefully, more blessings than anything else. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6980239
2022-05-26T09:09:53-06:00
2022-05-26T09:11:52-06:00
The Pause
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/de27cc6db8327deb47d47f6d8b2f29c8de9681db/original/audio-g06977bdfd-1280.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Not long ago I heard a comment from depth psychologist, Dr. Craig Chalquist, that caught my attention. He said for people who rage, their problem isn’t that they are angry, it’s that they aren’t consciously angry. That rings true for all emotional states I think. We can get consumed by a feeling to the point that we forgo our best judgement and make a situation worse. </p>
<p>As I often remind my children, there is nothing wrong with WHAT you feel but HOW you handle that feeling is your responsibility. Emotional regulation is a necessary part of maturation and, like any skill, it requires practice. We have to be intentional if we want to grow. </p>
<p>It’s normal to have strong emotions at times, and occasionally we all make the mistake of reacting before pausing. Yet it’s the pause that is key. The pause gives us a chance to make our feeling conscious, to reject any harmful impulses, and to uncover the WHY behind our feelings. From there we can determine the healthiest response. </p>
<p>When might taking a pause serve you best? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6976846
2022-05-21T17:11:48-06:00
2022-05-21T17:11:48-06:00
Soul Signals
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/0933415024c16e33e0251be1c900d3424a1f71a5/original/hugo-jehanne-lohvrtsdvzy-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The word psyche in Greek means soul. Some see soul as a life-force energy that guides and empowers us, as well as connects us with one another beyond space and time. Keeping that definition in mind, consider this statement by Jungian Analyst, James Hollis: </p>
<p>“When a depression is not biologically driven, it's usually psyche's way of withdrawing energy from wherever we're putting it.” </p>
<p>In other words, depression can be a signal to us from our soul saying a change needs to be made. This doesn’t necessarily mean the path we’re is on is bad, it may simply be that it’s not the path best suited for the experience the soul wishes to live out with us. Hollis encourages people to get curious about one’s depression, asking why has the soul withdrawn its energy from the situation and what is it asking for instead? It might be anything from a simple tweak to a wholesale shift. The key is to tune in and patiently listen. This is a beautiful — albeit challenging and often quite painful — gift of soul life. It is designed to support our authenticity and, if we’re off track, faithfully let us know. </p>
<p>Where in your life might you be getting a soul signal? </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
<p> </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6971283
2022-05-14T16:12:02-06:00
2022-05-14T16:34:51-06:00
Seeing the Whole
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/70940aa128be01a38e13a543886bf0b06ecc450b/original/etienne-boulanger-ercpgyxnlto-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>In psychology there is a term, “whole object relations,” which refers to the ability to form a comprehensive view of oneself or another. To have whole object relations means one has a realistic and integrative perspective that includes both positive or negative, liked or disliked, strengths or weaknesses, etc. It’s necessary that we develop whole object relations in order to have healthy relationships — to see the big picture and not classify each other as all good or all bad. </p>
<p>In life we will encounter aspects of ourselves or others that we’d rather not see or accept. It’s tempting to respond with absolute rejection. For example, think of political issues. People hastily cut loved ones out of their lives because they cannot handle having discordant positions. One person suddenly forgets all they loved about another, and constructs a new image of that person with sweeping assumptions and falsehoods. No one benefits in such a scenario. The potential for growth through healthy dialogue is squashed and all the other wonderful areas of the relationship that could be of service to the good are discarded. We end up “throwing the baby out with the bathwater.” </p>
<p>When facing incompatibility with a friend or loved one, when challenged to compassionately hold the tension of differences, I aim to practice the following three things (albeit imperfectly): </p>
<p>One, engage with mutual respect in an effort to understand. This doesn’t mean we’ll agree, rather we can mutually consider what the other has to say with a commitment to civility and courteousness. If these boundaries cannot be maintained then I put the topic on the shelf and acknowledge that there will be no useful movement at this time. </p>
<p>Two, give the benefit of the doubt and forgive what I do not yet understand. This includes realizing that each person has their own life experience within which they interpret the world. There is so much beneath the surface we don’t know about ourselves or others that shapes perception and reaction. While I may not be able to grasp how another could arrive at a certain viewpoint, I can recognize that they reached their stance by that which has formed them, just as I have reached my own. </p>
<p>Three, remember what I do know about the other person. This means taking a whole object relations inventory of my experience of them. What’s their essence? How do they live? Upon what do we agree? Where have they demonstrated a consistent goodness I can trust? Assuming the relationship is more favorable than not, I can lean into what I know to be true of their heart and let the rest sort itself out in time. </p>
<p>We’re all complex and fluid works in progress. Let’s not make the mistake of casting out a meaningful relationship over the pieces that stretch us. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6966096
2022-05-07T19:24:44-06:00
2022-05-07T19:24:44-06:00
Practicing Self-Care
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/9c1f4379c06c50a5871d170c8fc8e1c4380555e2/original/tasha-jolley-jqsysl9rqhc-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Fifteen years ago I learned the value of self-care on a level I hadn’t known prior. My father had just died and I was in a season of grief, compounded quickly with my mother’s shocking terminal diagnosis. I attended a grief group wherein the facilitator stressed the necessity for self-care. This, she said, was essential to journeying through grief. Notice the word “through” — the goal is to gently and eventually move through the acute pain. To do so, one must advocate for their own health, balance, and well-being. </p>
<p>While self-care is extra important in seasons of increased stress or hardship, it’s a wise practice to maintain across the board. And it is a practice to be sure. It requires an honest assessment of needs, a commitment to improve one’s quality of life, and a discipline to set and hold boundaries, even though that means disappointing others from time to time. </p>
<p>There will always be bids for your attention and energy, and you will always have the same 24 hours in a day as everyone else. So it becomes essential to protect and promote one’s own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellness. No one else will do this for you. The gift of your life has been entrusted to you alone. When you practice self-care you honor the privilege of being alive. Not to mention, by doing so you actually end up depositing more light, peace, and goodness into the world. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6960700
2022-04-30T10:13:01-06:00
2022-04-30T10:15:47-06:00
Being Stuck
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/3a7704f4ed5def0d8048275c661d35692011abae/original/watt-g1d358cea7-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />It seems part of the human journey includes points at which we get stuck or at least feel stuck. </p>
<p>Maybe we’re mired down with heavy circumstances in our lives, or the world around us, and our energy is depleted. </p>
<p>Or perhaps we feel an ache for some kind of improvement without knowing where to begin, doubtful meaningful change is possible. </p>
<p>Maybe we’re grieving the lifespan of a loved one, or our own physical diminishment, or the evident and sorrowful limitations of a relationship. </p>
<p>Or it’s possible we feel called to some purpose but the voice isn’t quite clear, the path forward is nondescript, leaving the dream itself painful to consider. </p>
<p>And so we’re forced to wait for the rain to stop and the mud to dry, so we can get unstuck… so we can find solid ground upon which to climb once again. </p>
<p>The invitation here may be to sit with the reality of what is, to surrender to being stuck for now, to give up our illusions of control. And it just might be that the gift of being stuck is a time for contemplation. There is likely an inquiry waiting to meet us, to offer some growth, some development. </p>
<p>A mentor of mine from college would say, “When you don’t know which way to move, don’t move.” In this case, when you’re stuck and can’t find a way to move, just rest. Rest in the mud. Accept this appointment your soul is trying to make with you. </p>
<p>There is grace in the mud. And the next step will be revealed in due season. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6949808
2022-04-17T08:00:00-06:00
2022-04-17T08:00:01-06:00
Transformation Through Love
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/ba0af4776733ae2d5bc42555b6ad807bd655e37d/original/qinghill-x8mz2moekle-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />After taking the 40-day journey of Lent through prayer, fasting, and almsgiving, we arrive at the Easter Triduum, where the Paschal Mystery of Christ unfolds. In this mystery we confront again the reality that death and resurrection go together. We cannot experience one without the other. Through the example Jesus gave us in his living, dying, and rising, we trust that the grace of new life is available to everyone. All death can enter into the Divine Light that is Christ. </p>
<p>The Easter Season spans 50 days and is the most significant liturgical time for Christians as we joyfully celebrate that death does not have the last word. In fact, Jesus’ mystical Resurrection reveals that there is no death, only transformation through Love. We might see this akin to the principal of the conservation of mass-energy in physics which states that matter and energy cannot be destroyed, only changed. We might recognize this pattern in the cycle of nature which brings forth new seedlings each spring. God does not abandon us in our moments of death but rather lovingly leads us to “the life of the world to come.” </p>
<p>Though Easter usually calls to mind the glory of the empty tomb on that amazing day, we can also remember that throughout the years of his earthly ministry Jesus consistently taught about peoples’ potential for rebirth in everyday life. Author Richard Rohr, OFM, expresses in his book, The Universal Christ, that our crucifixions will be transformed by God. New life is constantly ready to emerge out of the rubble of all kinds of death — death of a way of life, death of a dream, death of a relationship, and even the death of a loved one. When we allow the new to rise up out of the ashes of our brokenness, we welcome the miracle of spiritual regeneration to heal and restore us. We are led out of our despair into hope, where we will be invited to sing the highest level of praise once again: Alleluia! Christ is risen indeed! </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
<p>Note: This reflection can also be found in Tau Center’s “<a contents="Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/0f278c9c-d132-aabb-8121-f90f79cd1253/Still_Point_Lent_2022_COMPRESSED.pdf?mc_cid=b9b142ac9e&mc_eid=57dd53c3be&fbclid=IwAR2mZIfbPr3_nFrlSiDCagFZsFGvNBKINijdluRIv294fP94MqjMPHo4pQs">Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022</a>.” </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6947572
2022-04-13T13:21:44-06:00
2022-04-13T13:25:27-06:00
Another Way to View the Cross
<p>As Christians around the world enter Holy Week, I find myself considering the story of the crucifixion… again. The common belief that Jesus died for all — to pay for our sins so that we may be reconciled to God — has been a formula I’ve struggled with for some time. That kind of atonement theology does not satisfy my reasoning. As one who subscribes to a loving, life-giving, and merciful God, I reject the idea of a sadistic payoff being required to right all of humanity’s wrongs. Maybe for some that notion works, giving them a place to go with guilt and unworthiness, but I cannot bless violence this way. For me, that image of God resembles an abusive parent which betrays every notion I’ve ever understood about what Divine Love looks like. </p>
<p>Instead, what resonates deeper with me is the idea that, in Jesus’ unwarranted and horrific death, we see what sin looks like and just how very ugly and destructive it is — when we persecute, or assassinate, the innocent because their views differ from ours, or we don’t like their perspective on God, or we feel threatened by their transformative influence (albeit peaceful). And for some of us, we are simply complicit in this kind of maltreatment because we stand by and do nothing. So as I reflect upon the cross I ask God to “wake me up” to my transgressions, to where I contribute harm instead of help or hope, so that I may do better. </p>
<p>Did Jesus reconcile us to God? Indeed, in his earthly ministry spanning just three years he revealed an understanding of a God who is loving and approachable, vast yet intimate. He taught us radical new ways of practicing peace, mercy, and justice. He drew us into right relationship with God and each other. Was his actual death sacrificial? Of course, as we realize how far his love and integrity would go — that he was willing to risk his own life for what he believed and the truth he felt compelled to share. What a challenge for any Christian to consider: How long might I be willing to stand unwavering in my values and convictions? </p>
<p>There are different ways to view the cross. For me, when I contemplate it, I see how devastating sin can be and how far Love will go to reach us. I remember that Jesus gave all he had to give. </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
<p><em>Note: This reflection can also be found in Tau Center’s “<a contents="Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/0f278c9c-d132-aabb-8121-f90f79cd1253/Still_Point_Lent_2022_COMPRESSED.pdf?mc_cid=b9b142ac9e&mc_eid=57dd53c3be&fbclid=IwAR2mZIfbPr3_nFrlSiDCagFZsFGvNBKINijdluRIv294fP94MqjMPHo4pQs">Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022</a>.”</em></p>
<p><em><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/2d20e3e80c655618dfc9c60034496511287dc92b/original/crosses-gfac0256a0-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></em></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6939268
2022-04-03T14:17:43-06:00
2022-04-03T14:17:43-06:00
Almsgiving
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/b18049a69ab21c55743902cb56ed0e0ec8c1ecbf/original/tim-marshall-catzhuz7z8g-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The final pillar of Lent is almsgiving. Now that we have set the foundation of our Lenten journey with prayer and we have carved out space for something new through fasting, we are ready to give thought to how we can share the gifts God has entrusted to us. Almsgiving is an intentional way to be charitable. </p>
<p>When considering how or what to give away this Lent, let’s think of where our gifts intersect with the needs of society around us. How might we use a skill that comes naturally to us, or that we’ve been privileged enough to develop, in service of something that benefits others? Do we have resources, whether money or material, that could offer some support to someone? And what about time, a most precious offering? We all have been given the same amount of minutes in a day. How might we give some of those away to another in loving kindness? </p>
<p>Even the simplest of gestures makes a difference. To increase someone’s joy, to stand in solidarity with another, to encourage someone in hope — all of these are contributions we can make for one another. St. Polycarp of Smyrna wrote “When you can do good, defer it not, because ‘alms delivers from death.’” We lift one another out of hardship when we attune ourselves to the needs we are called to serve. Let us not delay in doing so. </p>
<p>Our almsgiving can be a way to honor the many times in life when someone has given us just what we needed to get through the next day, hour, or moment. We are a communal people, connected in the ebb and flow of challenge and grace. To give charitably to another in a spirit of compassion is to deposit more love into the world.</p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
<p><em>Note: For the full reflection on the three pillars of Lent visit Tau Center’s “<a contents="Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/0f278c9c-d132-aabb-8121-f90f79cd1253/Still_Point_Lent_2022_COMPRESSED.pdf?mc_cid=b9b142ac9e&mc_eid=57dd53c3be&fbclid=IwAR2o3yLDodPz28jb2biH7iZ1UnWW6sxvyQwrdkWFUjARLOw6t9C1JXmUbBA">Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022</a>.”</em></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6933509
2022-03-27T20:00:12-06:00
2022-03-27T20:06:44-06:00
Fasting
<p>Fasting is the second pillar of Lent. Many religions have a component of fasting as part of their spiritual practice. The experience of intentionally abstaining from something we normally use or enjoy brings about a mindfulness of our blessings and our need for self-control. It also makes room for something new to fill us. </p>
<p>As Christians we know that Jesus fasted. We also know he prayed “give us this day our daily bread.” He was acutely aware that to have what one needs for survival each day is no small thing. Despite the false sense of security our modern comforts provide, it is important that we too remember the fundamental needs all living beings require to exist. </p>
<p>For the purposes of deepening our sacred journey during Lent, let us contemplate what our daily “bread” is, whether actual food or another form of nourishment, and how we might regulate our consumption of it to bring into focus our reliance upon it. </p>
<p>Through the absence of these provisions we can grow in awareness that ultimately all sustenance comes from Our Creator. We are dependent creatures indeed. </p>
<p>Fasting is not for deprivation’s sake but for the purpose of fostering a positive change in us. In addition to reminding us of what we are grateful for in our lives, it can also empower us to remove that which blocks us from alignment with the Holy Spirit. The discipline fasting calls for teaches us how to show up differently in our lives. For example, it might lead to a clearing away of that which no longer serves us or a redistribution of personal resources. Whatever the case, fasting can help us learn how to declutter our lives. When we remove the nonessentials, we discover a space within us where we can connect more deeply to Sacred Wisdom. Theologian Joan Chittister says, “Lent is the time to let life in again…” In order to do that we need to make room. Fasting can help with this.</p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
<p><em>Note: For the full reflection on the three pillars of Lent visit Tau Center’s “<a contents="Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/0f278c9c-d132-aabb-8121-f90f79cd1253/Still_Point_Lent_2022_COMPRESSED.pdf?mc_cid=b9b142ac9e&mc_eid=57dd53c3be&fbclid=IwAR2o3yLDodPz28jb2biH7iZ1UnWW6sxvyQwrdkWFUjARLOw6t9C1JXmUbBA">Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022</a>.”</em><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/568d888ba2c601c0894c71bf712536a8733d0b2a/original/bread-g5cca31404-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6927446
2022-03-20T14:49:44-06:00
2022-03-20T14:49:44-06:00
Praise
<p><em><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/98aa052894723067272dc6a69951c6cc352a0e2c/original/joshua-earle-ice-bo2vws-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />This is the final of four posts that will point to different methods of prayer which we may want to consider using on our Lenten journey. For today we’ll look at Praise. </em></p>
<p>Praise — Some people interpret praise as expressing outwardly how wonderful the Almighty is. While it can be that, another way to understand what it means to offer praise is to quietly enter into a spirit of awe and wonder. When we attempt to comprehend how vast the Creator of the Cosmos is while also realizing the intimacy and preciousness of each living being, this too is a form of praise. This awareness may cause us to dance or sing or to simply sit in stillness, basking in the magnificence of it all. </p>
<p>As the forty days of Lent unfold, let us be intentional in taking time to nurture our relationship with God through prayer, however we might experience it. Prayer can open us up and enhance our connection to Spirit. It is a foundational piece of the journey we make on the way to experiencing Resurrection with Christ. </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
<p><em>Note: This reflection in full was first featured in Tau Center’s “<a contents="Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/0f278c9c-d132-aabb-8121-f90f79cd1253/Still_Point_Lent_2022_COMPRESSED.pdf?mc_cid=b9b142ac9e&mc_eid=57dd53c3be">Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022</a>.”</em></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6921301
2022-03-13T15:42:24-06:00
2022-03-13T15:42:24-06:00
Thanksgiving & Intercession
<p><em><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/70a57d6dfba9071190c8ed27dd31810ffbd3adde/original/grateful-g45b8fded7-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />This is the third of four posts that will point to different methods of prayer which we may want to consider using on our Lenten journey. For today we’ll look at Thanksgiving and Intercession. </em></p>
<p>Thanksgiving — As Meister Eckhart once conveyed, “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” Approaching each day with a spirit of gratitude fosters a life of contentment. When we take time to intentionally appreciate the ways in which we’ve been blessed, we remember that we are loved and supported by our Maker. Any point of gratitude will do, from a brief observation of the natural world to receiving a letter from a friend. No blessing in life is too small to recognize the meaning it brings. </p>
<p>Intercession — This practice reminds us we are not alone. While we pray only to God, we can commune with spirits on earth or in heaven and ask them to join us in prayer. Just as we might say to a friend, “please pray for me,” so too we can ask anyone who has gone before us to pray with us. Prayer is the communication of the soul and souls are eternal. So who do we want to bring into our prayer lives? Perhaps we welcome one of the saints, such as Francis, Clare, or Mary. Perhaps we invite a dearly beloved ancestor. Let us enjoy the company of others as we pray. </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
<p><em>Note: This reflection in full was first featured in Tau Center’s “<a contents="Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/0f278c9c-d132-aabb-8121-f90f79cd1253/Still_Point_Lent_2022_COMPRESSED.pdf?mc_cid=b9b142ac9e&mc_eid=57dd53c3be">Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022</a>.”</em></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6915393
2022-03-06T17:25:27-06:00
2022-03-06T17:28:46-06:00
Confession & Petition
<p><em>This is the second of four posts that will point to different methods of prayer which we may want to consider using on our Lenten journey. For today we’ll look at Confession and Petition. </em></p>
<p>Confession — A good way to enter into prayer is to first empty ourselves of whatever stands in the way of our relationship to the Redeemer. We might liken it to dealing with an “elephant in the room,” something that needs to be addressed before we can be at ease in this friendship. There is freedom in truth. When we take responsibility for ourselves and commit to making amends wherever needed, we take away sin’s power to hurt us or others any further. </p>
<p>Petition — After taking time to search ourselves in truth, we can start to name what it is we need. Where are things difficult in our lives? Where might we need support? What troubles us? We can give voice to the desires that emerge and turn them over to our Higher Power, recognizing the limits of our control. Petitioning for help is a way of giving up resistance and surrendering to what is. It is a way of saying, “I can’t do this alone,” and a reminder that we don’t have to. We can ask for what we need. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
<p><em>Note: This reflection in full was first featured in Tau Center’s “<a contents="Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022." data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/0f278c9c-d132-aabb-8121-f90f79cd1253/Still_Point_Lent_2022_COMPRESSED.pdf?mc_cid=b9b142ac9e&mc_eid=57dd53c3be">Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022.</a>” </em><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/3fcb1222b1c587d8f548b7357e4adbae7f51d81f/original/aaron-burden-lpcu8hngu2e-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6911767
2022-03-02T14:24:10-06:00
2022-03-06T17:41:04-06:00
Prayer: The First Pillar of Lent
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/2ab5c95c39a00dbb40877782134258287eeecc32/original/cruz-g13639bf2e-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />For Christians, Ash Wednesday to Holy Thursday is the 40-day season of Lent in which we are invited to take part in prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. Known as the “three pillars of Lent,” we look upon these practices as ways to prepare ourselves for the experience of Resurrection, celebrated through Christ at Easter. </p>
<p>The first pillar of Lent is prayer. It makes sense that this pillar comes first as it is the cornerstone of our relationship with the Divine. Whether it’s through the silent language of love or a professed set of words, prayer is our communication with Spirit — a sending and receiving of affection. It is contemplative and active, an exchange that requires both listening and responding. </p>
<p>Prayer being the initial pillar reminds us to keep first things first, to prioritize our relationship with the Source of All above all else. Everything flows from this. St. Teresa of Avila said “Authentic prayer changes us, unmasks us, strips us, indicates where growth is needed.” There are countless forms of prayer given the many ways we experience this sacred relationship. Some common themes include confession, petition, thanksgiving, intercession, and praise. As we journey through this Lenten season, I'll share more about of these types of prayer as well as reflect upon the other two pillars of Lent.</p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
<p><em>Note: This reflection in full was first featured in Tau Center’s <a contents="“Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022”" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://mcusercontent.com/1902bb8ddea714f4deab31682/files/0f278c9c-d132-aabb-8121-f90f79cd1253/Still_Point_Lent_2022_COMPRESSED.pdf?mc_cid=b9b142ac9e&mc_eid=57dd53c3be">“Still Point: Journey of Lent 2022.”</a></em></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6908163
2022-02-26T12:30:25-06:00
2023-12-10T12:09:45-06:00
A Constant Invitation
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/43095a43900cd430446b3f62caae6b708d6fbbf3/original/fantasy-g5dc42ac15-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>This week I chanced upon a television special featuring author and doctor, Deepak Chopra. He was teaching about enlightenment. One sentence he said really struck me: “The Soul is never in the body; the body is experiencing the Soul.” I use a capital “S” for Soul because I interpret what he’s referencing to be the Holy Spirit, the big Soul of the Universe. His words were a comforting reminder that we can never lose Soul. We don’t own or harbor this loving energy, but we participate in it just by our existence. This is similar to the Christian Scripture which says "In God we live and move and have our being.” Concepts such as salvation and grace follow too. The bottom line is that Love is always there for us. We do not earn it. We cannot control or expel it. It is a constant invitation. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6902280
2022-02-19T21:40:59-06:00
2022-02-19T21:41:00-06:00
Authenticity
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/c4f158a36b0f4df59c881efb30a936623c44e234/original/mandala-gb105b0c33-1280.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Recently I heard a talk on authenticity by licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Ramani Durvusula. She explained how people who have done the work to become self-actualized, people who are authentic, are more equipped to handle difficult situations and challenging relationships. This may sound like common sense but as she described what she meant by an authentic person I was intrigued. I was reminded of, and learned more deeply, the following. </p>
<p>Authentic people live in alignment with meaning and purpose. They have genuine humility to know both their strengths and their weaknesses. They are able to regulate emotions while also being capable of vulnerability in an emotional space. They don’t personalize the bad behavior of another or let small stuff get under their skin. </p>
<p>Authentic people are solid in the truth of who they are and they trust their experience. </p>
<p>Authentic people have a serenity that comes with wisdom and thus are soothing to be around. They neither enable or shame others, even when met with someone’s darkness, but instead gently course correct with graciousness. They will walk away if necessary and do so maintaining civility even if the other cannot muster that level of decency in return. They are transparent and if their honesty upsets someone they don’t make it their business. </p>
<p>Authentic people live congruently with who they were designed to be. </p>
<p>The attributes of an authentic person are many. These are not people who have lived without struggle, quite the contrary. They integrate each tough lesson of life as they encounter it, reinforcing wholeness with harmony. </p>
<p>As I reflect upon the authentic people I have been blessed to know some of my favorite mentors come to mind. What I realize about each of them is that their authenticity was grounded in an intentional spiritual journey. This could be an organized religion, a 12-step program, or a life-long commitment to growth. Whatever the method, these wise souls practice… daily… living a life centered on Love. </p>
<p>When looking over these qualities of authenticity, we can consider the ones we may have been blessed to develop as well as the ones we can aim for in time. </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6895042
2022-02-11T10:21:29-06:00
2022-02-11T10:21:29-06:00
Actively Endorse Our Longings
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/4134a07174aebc907324ea97e68894ffea24a92c/original/like-g57d8ef5c4-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I imagine there are situations in all of our lives wherein it would take a miracle for things to turn around, for that which is broken to be healed, for real conversion to take root. Often we don’t even bother praying for these yearned for outcomes because they seem so far-fetched. But what if we went all-in and boldly ask for those 1%-chance-of-happening deep desires of the soul? </p>
<p>What is it about hope that makes us afraid? Maybe we think that if we accept something as hopeless we will have more peace, but sometimes we’re only left with despair and a broken dream. What if, instead of hoping by way of optimistic anticipation, we tried hoping by way of patiently trusting? After all, whatever the matter is, if it is in our hearts then we are connected to it. </p>
<p>Author Richard Rohr wrote, “To actively oppose something is actually to engage with it and to give it energy.” So instead of opposing our longing, why not actively endorse it with the energy of prayer that says “This is my preference AND I trust Love.” This mindset is one of assurance that all will be well in the end — not in a trite way but in a way that recognizes there is a great mystery here. If we can really let go enough to allow that to sink in, then we may actually have more peace. </p>
<p>So we can gather our vision, name the miracle needed, do what is in our control — including prayer — to encourage the result we want, and then release the longing to Spirit. In other words, after pairing our free will with the Great Presence of Love we can rest… and see what happens. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6889075
2022-02-04T17:13:04-06:00
2022-02-04T17:13:04-06:00
Root for the Team
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/4c45d312df0ea96b877e2da86875be8250b9af8c/original/john-mark-smith-9qtqfihyles-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />A friend of mine was dealing with a challenging stretch in his marriage when he found out an in-law was encouraging his spouse to exit the relationship. My friend was so disappointed as he thought this in-law supported the couple as a unit. While the responsibility of keeping healthy boundaries around a marriage ultimately lies with the individuals in the relationship (i.e. “leave and cleave”), it is significantly more difficult to mend what’s broken and grow as partners when the cheering section in your ear is only rooting for you. </p>
<p>I’ve seen this dynamic too often among people I know. It saddens me that many in our culture lack the maturity to see a bigger picture. It can be dangerous to assume we know what goes on inside another’s household, especially when only receiving a limited perspective from one person. Of course there ought to be a place for confidential processing or even occasionally just venting to someone we trust, but we need to be careful who we choose to lean into in this way. Sadly some folks may seem like they are in one's corner yet, from their own woundedness, they end up misusing what’s been divulged to promote their agenda… or they simply don’t have the capacity to think compassionately beyond the immediate moment. After all, it’s easy to encourage someone to do something destructive when we’re not the ones who have to live with the consequences or the fallout of that choice. </p>
<p>When needing to talk about our personal relationships with another may we be discerning. May we intentionally seek someone with wisdom and experience, someone who sincerely has the best interest of all heartbeats involved rather than someone who will just inflate our egos and embolden our worst instincts. May we take care to find someone who expresses love and support not merely by siding with us, but by gently holding up the mirror to us and bringing into our consideration the other's perspective — someone who champions healing and reconciliation. And when an individual reaches out to entrust us with their relationship struggles, we too can rise to the occasion. We can be the kind of confidant who knows how to hold the vulnerability of a marriage and family with the reverence it requires. Together we can challenge one another to evolve into our best selves, loving bigger and better than before. </p>
<p>Let us protect our relationships and help them succeed by surrounding ourselves with people who will root for the team. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6883410
2022-01-29T18:31:46-06:00
2022-01-29T18:31:46-06:00
The Gift of Now
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/e00a75b41a31e3d5a9de0761981aea2bda3ee714/original/snow-g39c9dc1fb-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />A few times lately I’ve been reminded of the healthy practice of staying in the present moment. If we were to stop and check in with ourselves throughout the day, and name what it is we’re thinking of at that juncture, chances are that our thoughts would be about something that has happened or something we anticipate will happen. Rarely are we here now. We may miss, at least in part, the majority of occasions as they unfold because of the chatter in our minds. </p>
<p>Sometimes the thoughts about the past or future can be filled with happy memories or looking forward to what’s to come. Yet too often, I suspect, the thoughts of the past come with concern or regret, while the ones about the future bring stress or worry. Regardless of whether these past and future thoughts are positive or negative, incessant rumination of the mind steals the opportunity to live here and now. </p>
<p>Sure there is a time to process what went before and to plan for what’s to come. We are wise, however, to carefully set aside a specific amount of time for such reflection or preparation. Disciplining ourselves in this way can help ensure that our thinking doesn’t run away with today. Then we can reserve the majority of our waking life to enter more fully into the joy that is only available at this precise moment. </p>
<p>As author Eckhart Tolle put it, “Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time — past and future — the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” </p>
<p>Let us not miss the gift of now. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6877222
2022-01-22T21:58:50-06:00
2022-01-23T14:50:48-06:00
Trauma and Truth
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/cbf5db9163864b536720525bcec67c21772da7ee/original/sunset-gdcf48d2bd-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Many know the name Sojourner Truth. She was born in New York in 1797 as Isabella Baumfree. A slave bought and sold several times, Isabella escaped with her infant daughter, the youngest of her five children, in 1826 to a nearby abolitionist family who bought her freedom. They also helped Isabella fight to get back her five-year-old son, who had been illegally sold into slavery in the South. When you read even a bit about her story it is incredible to realize the courage and strength this woman had, despite being subjected to the horrific trauma of slavery. Yet, she rebuilt her life, integrating the suffering she endured into a vocation that would impact the world in countless ways. </p>
<p>In 1843 Isabella took the name Sojourner Truth, acknowledging her call to </p>
<p>preach the truth against oppression. Though she never learned to read or write, Sojourner spoke nationally about the evils of slavery, assisted slaves in escaping to freedom, dictated her autobiography, supported the Union cause in the Civil War, helped freed Black Americans obtain work, lobbied against segregation, and championed other causes including women’s rights. In 1864, in light of her extraordinary activism in the abolitionist movement, President Lincoln invited Ms. Truth to the White House. With wisdom, bravery, and faith she would go on to live out her days working to build a better future for us all. </p>
<p>What an immeasurable gift was the life of Sojourner Truth. I am moved by the reality that someone who had such a terrifying and violent first three decades of life could find a way to live with such vision and generosity for the remaining five plus decades. Clearly she chose not to let the trauma she endured define or limit her. Instead she gave it a voice, proclaimed the truth of her experience, and that gave her yet another point of freedom from which she blessed others beyond measure. </p>
<p>Where might the pain in our lives be leading us? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6868404
2022-01-13T19:24:25-06:00
2022-01-13T19:24:25-06:00
A Spirit of Trust
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/58868d313043c41c6a859894d82f0e3585714709/original/soviet-artefacts-jaze-vinfa8-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />When glancing back on my life recently, I realized two things. One, I have been richly blessed in countless ways. Two, like everyone, I have had heartaches I never could have anticipated. I offer thanks to God for the incredible good that has permeated my life — so very much to never take for granted. And, given God is the Source of All That Is, I must also offer God the bad — the wounds and chronic difficulties. While it may be hard to offer these struggles to God in a spirit of gratitude, I can do so in a spirit of trust. </p>
<p>Experience has taught me that I can trust God to take that which causes me pain and transform it to something useful. I don’t always make the leap to this kind of grace with conviction that such a process will have made the hurt worthwhile, but I do often find consolation knowing that at least some purpose will be extracted. The harms and hardships of life can mean more than just unfortunate points of suffering. They can be building blocks for something of value that we cannot yet see. And this is where that spirit of trust comes into play. </p>
<p>I often think of God as “The Great Recycler” because nothing is wasted when we offer it to God for repurposing. It may look like a pile of rubble from where we stand now, but through God’s intelligent use of time it can be made into something beautiful that we will only be able to identify in hindsight. All that’s required is for us to give up resistance to what is and allow God to create anew. Though it might not be the dream we once imagined for ourselves, perhaps it becomes a dream God dreams for us… a path imbued with profound love and lasting impact, the fullness of life after all. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6857226
2022-01-02T11:14:24-06:00
2022-01-02T11:14:24-06:00
Holy Guidance
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/17c73592f03cec07b678b3e18c83c6ea541ba773/original/magi-kings-g91368324a-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The magi in the Gospel for the Epiphany were a group of scholars who dealt with astrology, foretelling the future, and dream interpretation. They observed a star, trusted it was signaling a king’s birth, and followed it to find Jesus. Spirit prompted and guided them to this experience. Afterward the magi were led again by the Spirit, this time through a dream, to depart another way so as to not encounter Herod. This story can remind us that the Spirit of God does indeed go before us. All we need to do is be open to the signs of Love in our midst and respond. </p>
<p>When have I felt led by the Spirit in the past and where do I need to be open to holy guidance now? </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
<p>Note: This reflection was first featured in Tau Center’s “<a contents="Still Point - Advent Special Issue 2021" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.taucenter.org/images/pdfs/Advent_Still_Point_2021-compressed.pdf?fbclid=IwAR1n7VH1jpMKpMI6idosamWBo1HOBE_9mIAXA2JpQQLda-qiTsAKTE9Z2-o">Still Point - Advent Special Issue 2021</a>."</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6862808
2021-12-27T00:00:00-06:00
2022-01-08T09:45:58-06:00
Praying with Miriam
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/a78d970cbf4ddd4c1c16b3a4e1d20af9e8c64147/original/mother-mary-g7b7ea12be-1920-copy.jpeg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />God of us all, thank you for the life of Miriam of Nazareth, who walked the earth over 2000 years ago. Thank you for blessing the world with Miriam’s son, Jesus, who grew in her womb, and whose life as an infant, child, and adolescent was shaped by her love. </p>
<p>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </p>
<p>…that like you we can experience a profound relationship between our humanity and the Creator of the Universe — loving God with all our heart, soul, and strength… </p>
<p>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </p>
<p>…that like you we may maintain a quality of spiritual purity, trusting our inner autonomy in relationship with the Divine… </p>
<p>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </p>
<p>…that like you we may see holiness alive in us and around us, regardless of gender, class, religion, or the era in which we were born… </p>
<p>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </p>
<p>…that like you we can testify, with grounded liberation, to the everyday good news for which we are grateful and hopeful… </p>
<p>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </p>
<p>…that we too may cooperate with grace in welcoming that which is ours to do, with a courage that outweighs any fear… </p>
<p>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </p>
<p>…that we may embrace the tangible and embodied parts of our story with serenity… </p>
<p>Miriam, our sister in faith, please pray with us to God… </p>
<p>…that we may remember our place in the communion of saints, that we too are invited to collaborate with you in bringing God’s love to the world… </p>
<p>Eternal God, thank you for the ways in which one soul can inspire another. Thank you for hearing all prayers between heaven and earth. Please hold them in the heart of your loving energy that is the source of everything. Amen.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">© 2021, Tammy Winn</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6851753
2021-12-25T16:06:30-06:00
2021-12-25T16:06:30-06:00
Great Joy for All People!
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/2e3f38d61b74a6f2d31610ffe9140558575f264f/original/christmas-ga255c8ad6-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The night Gospel for the Nativity fo the Lord describes the evening Jesus was born. Images of the Holy Family come to mind — Joseph protecting Mary, Mary directing her energy inward for labor, and a beautiful baby boy emerging into the outside world, Jesus! Here the three of them are, in a poor setting with an animal feeding trough for a crib. And the first visitors were lowly, unclean shepherds. They were guided to this glorious event by the angel of the Lord who said “Do not be afraid; for behold, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.” And so it is — Emmanual — God is with us, all of us. Merry Christmas! </p>
<p>How can I allow God’s presence to assure me that I need not be afraid, so that I can embrace the joy before me? </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
<p>Note: This reflection was first featured in Tau Center’s “<a contents="Still Point - Advent Special Issue 2021" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.taucenter.org/images/pdfs/Advent_Still_Point_2021-compressed.pdf?fbclid=IwAR1n7VH1jpMKpMI6idosamWBo1HOBE_9mIAXA2JpQQLda-qiTsAKTE9Z2-o">Still Point - Advent Special Issue 2021</a>."</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6847887
2021-12-21T11:16:05-06:00
2021-12-21T11:16:05-06:00
Cooperate With Grace
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/bfb8260151fc65e38eb867606ce8e878a0d553b8/original/max-beck-c72ecrostc4-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />For the fourth Sunday in Advent we read the Gospel story of how Mary travels to see her cousin Elizabeth, who is also pregnant. What I appreciate about their interaction is the joy it expresses as they find themselves cooperating with grace. They both are preparing to bring forth new life, with no way of fully knowing the impact each child will make on the other or the world. Through these two women, our sisters in the communion of saints, love begets love and God blesses the world. </p>
<p>Where in my life can I trust, with joy, that I am somehow cooperating with grace? </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
<p>Note: This reflection was first featured in <a contents="Tau Center’s “Still Point - Advent Special Issue 2021" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.taucenter.org/images/pdfs/Advent_Still_Point_2021-compressed.pdf?fbclid=IwAR1n7VH1jpMKpMI6idosamWBo1HOBE_9mIAXA2JpQQLda-qiTsAKTE9Z2-o">Tau Center’s “Still Point - Advent Special Issue 2021</a>."</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6841134
2021-12-14T17:31:12-06:00
2021-12-14T17:31:12-06:00
What Should We Do?
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/1f27cf6e1fec2e37273d89a6dc836b04ada6a441/original/kalisa-veer-xurnr0q38x4-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The Gospel reading for the third Sunday of Advent opens with crowds asking John the Baptist “What should we do?” They must have had a longing for something more to even ask this, an anticipation of a better way of being. John doesn’t tell them to do anything outlandish. In fact, the message is quite simple and direct — share your resources with those who have none, be honest in your dealings, and be content with what you have. What John describes may seem like an obvious way to improve our collective life experience, but it is not always easy. To hear him articulate how a just world would be, to stand up and name what needed changing, made the people wonder if he could he be the Christ. Surely he was conveying a message of Love. </p>
<p>In what ways can I newly approach doing what is most loving albeit difficult?</p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
<p><em>Note: This reflection was first featured in Tau Center’s “<a contents="Still Point - Advent Special Issue 2021" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.taucenter.org/images/pdfs/Advent_Still_Point_2021-compressed.pdf?fbclid=IwAR3IlzpQaW4D-4HP9JSfQtZYtT0zY0hY4ddkpN9QOgkBEMpy4gn6naSgXXQ">Still Point - Advent Special Issue 2021</a>."</em></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6831015
2021-12-05T17:24:42-06:00
2023-12-10T12:10:08-06:00
God Comes to Us
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/b0135580b470780ff75c902830083f773096ceee/original/myriam-zilles-pc9ptkag5ge-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />In the Sunday Gospel of the second week of Advent, we learn about John the Baptist preaching. It says “the word of God came to John.” How wonderful it is to know that God is a seeker too, perhaps looking for the open hearts in which to communicate to the world. I imagine as John receives God’s word he cannot contain it. He is compelled to do something with this Love and, as the reading says, then John “went throughout the whole region of the Jordan, proclaiming…” a message of repentance, forgiveness, and justice. </p>
<p>When God comes to me, what do I do next? </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
<p><em>Note: This reflection was first featured in Tau Center’s <a contents='“Still Point - Advent Special Issue 2021."' data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.taucenter.org/images/pdfs/Advent_Still_Point_2021-compressed.pdf">“Still Point - Advent Special Issue 2021."</a></em></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6823723
2021-11-28T18:34:20-06:00
2021-12-01T19:20:17-06:00
Keep Your Heart Awake
<p>In this first week of Advent, Sunday’s Gospel describes Jesus telling his disciples to pay attention to the signs all around them in order to be ready for the return of Christ. If we look at this reading, not with a lens of desperation but one of inspiration, we can see the life-giving message being declared. “Your redemption is at hand,” Jesus says, speaking to those living lives centered on Love — his disciples. Jesus goes on to encourage them to keep their hearts awake by not succumbing to “the anxieties of daily life,” which pull one way from what matters most. There is an invitation here to practice being in the present moment. </p>
<p>How can I awaken or keep my heart awake this Advent? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
<p>Note: This reflection was first featured in Tau Center’s <a contents='“Still Point - Advent Special Issue 2021."' data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.taucenter.org/images/pdfs/Advent_Still_Point_2021-compressed.pdf">“Still Point - Advent Special Issue 2021."</a> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/c75e10dafa30d7211aeb7005afd7e0519175ec68/original/advent-wreath-g737a07a4c-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6823134
2021-11-27T20:43:30-06:00
2021-11-27T20:43:30-06:00
Minimizing Harm
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/a3de6f39f06bcd02572bf55b52a3df5b744c2ecc/original/tim-mossholder-egaduzpsvde-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />At any point in life we might find ourselves on a path of sacrificial love — the kind that, metaphorically speaking, requires one to stand in the crossfire of a bully to protect the vulnerable. Staying present amidst a deeply unconscious person often demands a lot of energy. It necessitates a disciplined awareness that intentionally places space between action and reaction. It calls for a readied wisdom that is prepared to navigate the dysfunctional obstacle course of a given situation with intelligent love. </p>
<p>In addition to defending the innocent, we need to use this intelligent love to help minimize the harm we will likely encounter in the process. And in the aftermath of doing what must be done, we are wise to deliberately practice self-care as soon as possible. That may be counseling, exercise, a time of prayer, journaling, or perhaps connecting with someone who really knows your goodness so as to reflect it back to you. </p>
<p>Whatever you do on the heels of an act of sacrificial love, be gentle with yourself. Remember the dignity you bear and that you are immeasurably loved. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6816433
2021-11-20T11:20:12-06:00
2021-11-20T11:20:12-06:00
The Fertile Ground of Brokenness
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/21dc7a2b9b800ad4f4e053dfdd8e499d3bdbf33b/original/daniel-hajdacki-xentry-kpui-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I don’t like being hurt or feeling lost. I don’t like the agony of knowing that my path is leading to something painful. I don’t like the burden of dying to self so that some hoped-for greater good can live. But I’ve been there, in all these spaces. I’ve come to know that it is in this territory — of being cracked open by heartache — that the soul can break through with a calling I would not have heard otherwise. </p>
<p>Over time I’ve learned to trust the internal prompting that arrives through the death of a dream. It’s as if a message can finally get through that was otherwise blocked. When I receive such an “inner ping,” I become clear about what I am to do next or, at a minimum, in which way to start moving. Yet the ego loves putting up resistance to what the soul knows. So I take one small step at a time in the direction of the invitation. Then I pause and let it be confirmed before taking another step. This can take a while but eventually the movement forward is evident, and it makes me come alive again. Here I experience the healing of rebirth and the transformation of new life — resurrection moments to be sure. </p>
<p>The fertile ground of brokenness is a mysterious gift of regeneration laden with blessings that could not arrive another way. How might you embrace these kinds of experiences in your life? </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6808141
2021-11-13T10:18:23-06:00
2021-11-13T10:18:23-06:00
Live Into the Answers
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/bccfb011a187023a80e529d4389ec065392d9c4a/original/javier-allegue-barros-c7b-exxpoie-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />On a regular basis we human beings find ourselves at decision points of all sizes. We wonder which way to go and if the stakes our high we might agonize over selecting a path forward. Recently I heard a teaching from the spiritual author Eckhart Tolle, wherein he beautifully points out that, regardless of what choice we make, things will work out one way or another. We are free to enjoy every blessing and free to accept the lessons learned from every challenge. In that sense there is no right or wrong option. </p>
<p>Our conflicting thoughts about what to do in response to a situation are nothing more than ego structures trying to be right in anticipation of what will happen if we make this decision or that one. These thoughts can suggest a false sense of power, that somehow by worrying we take responsibility for the problem. Yet when we observe the voices of fear and doubt as the mere thought formations that they are, we can resist the urge to indulge each one. After all, it is that indulgence which allows us to take something painful and, rather than just let it be painful, add a layer of psychological suffering to it. </p>
<p>As an alternative, we can be intentionally present to our innermost being, what I would call the soul. This is the only part of us that is consistent and timeless, the only part that will not change while everything in the outer world surely will. The soul is the space of awareness that realizes all we ever have is the present moment. It is a part of us that holds a deeper knowing than the mind could ever produce. </p>
<p>When we stay grounded in soul — in being and presence — we discover an inner wisdom that has no questions about what to do next. On the contrary, it holds an extraordinary intelligence that leads us step by step. In this way, we can peacefully live into the answers one experience at a time. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6800548
2021-11-06T15:56:47-06:00
2021-11-06T16:41:32-06:00
Tune Into Your Body
<p>There is a counselor I know who pays great attention to how the body holds experiences. In conversation with her, I gained an entry-level understanding into the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. The sympathetic nervous system is basically the fight or flight mechanism that serves to protect us when needed. The parasympathetic nervous system calms things down and steadies us. The benefit of knowing a bit about these functions is that we can use such information to partner with our bodies to intentionally help regulate them and increase health. </p>
<p>I am grateful our bodies have a built-in alarm system that can warn of impending danger, putting us on high alert when necessary. With such a cue, we can meet the challenge at hand and persevere. I’m also grateful our bodies have the intelligence to know when the threat has passed, allowing us to detox, rest and rejuvenate. This is the space we hope to live in most of the time, which allows for openness, creativity, and growth. The best thing we can do to achieve optimal balance between the two systems is to communicate with our bodies — listening to what may be active or unresolved within them — and respond to any needs that surface. </p>
<p>If we don’t take the time to tune into our bodies on a regular basis, we risk getting rundown or sick, even to the degree of a chronic or life-threatening illness. Healthy self-care requires us act on behalf of the messages they send. Let us appreciate and cooperate with such bodily wisdom! </p>
<p>How do you communicate with your body? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6791736
2021-10-30T10:30:55-06:00
2023-12-10T12:09:48-06:00
Safe Space
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/e0165f2c9aba63d6cc1cd821652ac00a3a8beecc/original/designecologist-act2uzwhsik-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />If we want someone’s soul to show up, if we want genuine, mature relationships, we need to provide safe space. Oxford Languages defines safe space as “a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm.” Safe space is to a relationship what water is to a plant. Without it, the life — the functioning, connection, and growth of the relationship — cannot be sustained. Say nothing of adventure and joy. The following are ways to think about safe space and consider where we can provide more of it in our lives, especially with those we hold most dear. </p>
<p>Safe space demonstrates love for the other and giving the benefit of the doubt because of that love. </p>
<p>Safe space includes kind, calm speech and patience for each other as they articulate themselves. </p>
<p>Safe space allows for different perspectives and preferences to be heard and valued. </p>
<p><br>Safe space does not threaten, make demands, or intimidate. </p>
<p>Safe space does not criticize, invalidate, or blame the other. </p>
<p>Safe space does not name-call or humiliate. </p>
<p><br>Safe space uses I statements. </p>
<p>Safe space welcomes a back-and-forth dialogue. </p>
<p>Safe space encourages discussion that leads to decisions based on agreement, compromise, and cooperation. </p>
<p><br>Safe space does not punish the other or withhold affection. </p>
<p>Safe space doesn’t shut down. </p>
<p>Safe space doesn’t give up or abandon. </p>
<p><br>Safe space is getting to know someone and a willingness to be known. </p>
<p>Safe space honors the individual experience of each person. </p>
<p>Safe space protects the vulnerable parts of one another. </p>
<p><br>Safe space respects, helps, and supports. </p>
<p>Safe space focuses on the other as much as the self. </p>
<p>Safe space collaborates to solve problems creatively, responding to the desires of all involved. </p>
<p><br>Safe space requires empathy and compassion. </p>
<p>Safe space commits to trust, forgive, and make amends. </p>
<p>Safe space is dedicated to being there again tomorrow, to continue loving.</p>
<p>There is great freedom in safe space. It is the only setting in which an authentic relationship can survive and thrive. Let’s be intentional about cultivating this essential part of well-being in our lives. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6785018
2021-10-23T18:20:09-06:00
2021-10-23T18:30:09-06:00
Labels Fall Short
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/664f9b531498ff04962912f1586a97af34130a09/original/andrew-coop-xbqduxwfh-8-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Too often we slap a label on an individual that may capture a moment in time but fails to consider the bigger picture. </p>
<p>You might witness a woman in a given situation and see a stress response activated in her, for example, that would lead you to assume she suffers from anxiety. But if you were to swim upstream in the story of her life, you would discover she only acts that way in a particular setting, around or in reaction to a specific person. Taking in a broader view, it becomes clear that what you’ve witnessed is a reasonable reaction to an experience of mistreatment. Whenever she’s near that person she is on high alert, scanning for threat. Her behavior is a survival technique, not a default setting. To claim she has clinical anxiety misses the mark, it is a label that falls short. </p>
<p>In our culture we are tempted to think dualistically or in parts. Sorting people into categories gives us a false sense of security and power (e.g. we know what’s wrong with them and how to fix it). In our immature judgment we keep others at arm's length by assuming something untrue instead of becoming curious about what is. If we shift our focus to trying to understand a fuller context, perhaps we could then offer something that is actually useful and transformative — compassion. </p>
<p>Let us do better. Let us take a moment to acknowledge that we most certainly do not have all the information about why someone acts the way they do. Let us see where labels fall short and, instead of labeling, love. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6777404
2021-10-15T16:15:21-06:00
2021-10-15T16:17:05-06:00
Good Eyesight
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/5aaae7184e0ad8123bb5102fb29181210d8db20c/original/eye-4997724-340.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Several years ago someone I cared about deeply betrayed my trust in a major way. When I tried to address the matter directly with this person, I was initially met with a version of “you made me do it.” Instead of taking responsibility for harming me, they created a false narrative to keep from feeling the shame of such poor behavior. It was projection at its finest. This individual’s support circle adopted the lie as well, because it is far easier to label an outsider than to face a loved one’s sin. </p>
<p>Naturally I was very hurt by the situation. At first I wanted to speak the truth to a few who were misled, to correct the distortions and tell the complete story. I also longed for someone in this cluster to wake up and stand with me, to help get through to the one who had injured me. But I was soon reminded that “even the best explanation doesn’t guarantee understanding,” as my spiritual director says. So eventually I let that desire go, trusted my experience, and focused on appreciating the solid, high-quality relationships in my life. </p>
<p>Many things can cloud another's perspective, be it shadow or compulsions, denial or scapegoating. The bottom line, however, is that one is not able to really be known by those who cannot really see. So, make it a point to surround yourself with people who have good eyesight. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6770146
2021-10-08T13:10:26-06:00
2021-10-08T13:45:52-06:00
The Soul Informs
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/799d7f189b7639baeb7dd2fce524b4eb3d043ede/original/olia-nayda-b9a34y-wnrs-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />During my grade school years I realized I was a songwriter. Melodies and lyrics came to me with ease and enjoyment. I scribbled them down on any paper available and tucked them away for a future time when my confidence would catch up with my creativity. Finally, I figured out how I could collaborate with musicians to help me voice what I was hearing and thus made my first professional recording of original music, a demo. My first full-length album was then released in 2001, followed by another three albums, an EP, and a compilation featuring a bonus track. Now, after a long break from recording, I’m working on what will be my fifth full-length album. The project is moving at a very relaxed pace and I trust it will come together in its own time. </p>
<p>This topic came up the other day and my husband, who has always been a fan of my music, asked “So why are you making another album?” It was a fair question given that much of my music work has been shelved while raising our daughters and developing other areas of my vocation. To some it might seem like a chapter behind me and, quite frankly, I’m not sure what aspects of touring and performing I'll resume in the future. Still, without thinking but with certainty, I replied, “My soul told me to.” I was grateful to be reminded of this succinct and simple truth myself. I don’t know much more than I’ve been prompted to create it, without attachment to a timeline or what follows. </p>
<p>When the soul informs us we need not question or worry. Instead we can stand solid knowing we are supported and, with that, all we need to do is respond. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6764422
2021-10-02T15:47:20-06:00
2021-10-02T15:56:22-06:00
Shoulds to Coulds
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/2ce08215493edbfed3dcd6a38ebdeade510dc758/original/laptop-2055522-340.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I’m one of those people who keeps a running list of tasks to get done. Usually this is a good practice for me. The upside is that it allows me to dump my thoughts in one place for easy reference, which frees up brain space. The downside is that, regardless of how much I accomplish in the day-to-day, sometimes I look at the lineup and feel burdened by the “shoulds,” as in “I should do X,Y, and Z.” </p>
<p>Over time some items on the checklist will drop off naturally, and surely there are things I do daily that don’t get catalogued. (Side note: I have a friend who will write down a task he’s just done and then mark it as complete for the mere satisfaction it brings — a great feeling!) Still much of my inventory will require attention one day, and it seems to grow faster than the rate at which I can cross things off. I suppose that points to the intersection of our eternal nature and our productivity-obsessed culture; there will always be more in the “in-box” of life. Yet in order to gently meet the anxiety that rises when viewing all that looms ahead, I call to mind a great lesson I learned at a workshop years ago. </p>
<p>A wise woman leading the class gave us a wonderful gift. She encouraged us to take our “shoulds” and turn them into “coulds.” In doing so one can relieve the pressure enough to see options instead of demands. The mindset shifts from “I should do X,Y, and Z today,” to “I could do X… or Y… or Z… or perhaps something else altogether.” It’s amazing what a difference this simple tool can make. Rather than anticipating the work of a thousand days, it allows for discernment specific to the moment at hand, with a freedom to respond to the guidance of one's energy, one's soul, in real time. </p>
<p>Of course there are certain responsibilities that we have to answer to in a timely fashion, but I think a large portion of our self-induced stress can be alleviated by turning our shoulds into coulds. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6757683
2021-09-25T21:16:59-06:00
2021-09-25T21:16:59-06:00
Maintaining Relationships
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/5e20b5b8defbdaa1681a00bc040a103ecbfa4f5d/original/roselyn-tirado-m4gbghawnci-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />By talking to a few friends this week about challenges in all kinds of relationships, I was reminded that love is a verb, always in motion. Life is messy, people are complex, and there are no cures to solve the dilemma of being human. </p>
<p>We all are flawed and imperfect, capable of harm. That’s not, however, a free pass to be complacent. To the contrary, I think life continually summons us to become the best version of ourselves possible. But when we can radically accept our limitations and those of others, knowing that every one of us is a work in progress — a mix of wounds and wishes — it keeps us from wasting energy pursuing some elusive point of arrival. It keeps us from misinterpreting the adventure of an evolutionary journey with a sense of failure for not solving the riddle, for not fixing the problems once and for all. </p>
<p>Maintaining a relationship is a lot like being a homeowner. There is always something that will need to be taken care of, repaired, or improved upon. A responsible homeowner often has a budget set aside and an eye out for the ongoing needs that are sure to come, like a leaky faucet, a new roof, or an appliance. Similarly, to be wise in our relationships we must assess what needs attention and budget the resources required to maintain and improve it. We need to be intentional about prioritizing time to connect, make amends, and develop helpful skills. Perhaps that means reading a book, engaging in a program, seeing a counselor, participating in a support group, or adopting a spiritual practice. The methods are endless; the work is lifelong. There is no finish line when it comes to love. </p>
<p>Let’s think about how we can honor our most treasured relationships by committing to continual growth. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6750739
2021-09-18T14:58:32-06:00
2021-09-18T15:01:31-06:00
Precious Energy
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/0c2a14078afa0da66e6f7f9058045523d663391b/original/priscilla-du-preez-6tcisn8lx7w-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Often I am challenged by my desire to do more in a day or week than what I can reasonably accomplish. This has led me to wonder why the mind tends to want more than the schedule can hold or the body can manage. </p>
<p>Part of it seems to be a mark of evolution, wherein the wanting keeps our momentum moving forward toward further expansion over time. For example, when I end the day with joyful anticipation of the next one to come, that feels like creation unfolding. </p>
<p>Yet part of the desire for more also seems like a byproduct of a culture that has forgotten how to be present and satisfied. We can get sucked in by the demands to do more, at the expense of doing things well and with intention. And just because we can do something (whatever that is), doesn’t necessarily mean we should. </p>
<p>Instead let us order our days by discerning realistic expectations, gaining insight into where the precious energy of our lives ought to be spent. If we make adjustments to that end, placing quality and mindfulness at the center, we might end more days in peace. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6743158
2021-09-11T09:04:36-06:00
2021-09-11T09:04:36-06:00
The Call for Balance
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/c600ca7a99e7d333c6c23edf9fca17b4481ad15b/original/aziz-acharki-u3c79seha7k-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Periodically I am confronted with the need for more balance in my life. The signal might be a body ache, a lack of patience, or a struggle to be present to that which matters most. However my attention is fetched, I know it’s time to pause, reflect, and welcome clarity. </p>
<p>It may be that my body is asking for more attention, or my mind is needing to be emptied, or my soul is yearning for more creative expression. Whatever the case, I try to be gentle with the awareness that comes to the surface and realistic about what next step I can take in response. </p>
<p>There is a deep knowing in us about our needs and longings. In quiet stillness they will rise to our consciousness and, if we stay in that space a little while, a path forward is often revealed, one that restores harmony to our daily living. </p>
<p>Where are you being called to a better balance in your life? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6735545
2021-09-03T18:09:20-06:00
2021-09-03T18:09:20-06:00
Bless and Release
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/77be841e9f6be289a682acbb21b40cc430309789/original/darius-bashar-zl65n4euepy-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Do you have a situation in life that brings you down? Perhaps a circumstance that isn’t as you would like it to be… or a shortcoming that you just haven’t risen above yet… or a difficult relationship that shows no sign of getting easier. Whatever the struggle, it causes some suffering for sure. </p>
<p>We all have some pockets of suffering in our lives. But let us be careful to not suffer over our suffering, for one time through is often enough. Yes, it’s good to allow ourselves to feel what we’re feeling, but may we not live there indefinitely, circling around the disappointment in ongoing rumination. And perhaps the situation is somewhat chronic or cyclical, calling us to touch down routinely to honor the pain so we can get some relief from it. That’s quite healthy, of course, to be honest about what we’re experiencing, to name it. Let’s just be sure we don’t make that suffering our sole identity. </p>
<p>We can and should acknowledge our suffering sincerely. We can sit with it for a time to bless it for whatever growth it is prompting or grace it might bring. Then we can release it to our Higher Power so that we may respond to other invitations from life… invitations that lift us up, offer us contentment, and bring us joy. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6730023
2021-08-28T22:33:42-06:00
2021-08-28T22:33:42-06:00
When it Really Counts
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/2b238c29e006ff4d3037659337db832d144ec067/original/felicia-buitenwerf-qs-zkak27jk-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I generally have the opinion that it’s better to be judicious with your words, to think before you speak. It is a skill I admire and some do it very well. Yet, at times, an immediate and instinctive response is warranted. For if you don’t speak to the contrary, people often assume you agree with them. So when it really counts, when your silence is about to give way to complicity, say something. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6723506
2021-08-21T16:14:40-06:00
2021-08-21T16:22:49-06:00
More Consideration
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/4e115af8bce5b313bc8544d903d1c11bdc18516b/original/national-cancer-institute-701-fjcjlaq-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>School started this past week where I live. There was a lot of excitement in the air about returning in an almost-normal fashion. The biggest, visible difference that we’re still in a pandemic was the wearing of masks. And while debates rage on among adults over what’s necessary, I have been so proud of the children as they cooperate and make the best of things. They have carried on in a way that has something to teach all of us grown-ups about adapting, keeping a positive attitude, and thriving despite inconveniences. </p>
<p>When it comes to the conversation on masks, I understand people are bound to have different opinions and preferences. What I don’t understand is the mindset that assumes the worst in one another. The decision-makers I’ve seen haven’t asked anyone to do anything that they themselves aren’t willing to do. I have not seen hypocrisy or exploitation, nor have I seen any reason to take offense at the conclusion that masks are a worthwhile safety measure for the time being. To the contrary, when I’m asked to wear a mask I am heartened, not by a sense of agreement, but by the intention behind that request which comes from a place of concern for others. </p>
<p>Recently a good friend reminded me of society’s long-held expectation that our surgical teams scrub in and mask up to protect patients from any unnecessary infections. This ubiquitous practice dates back many decades. How might we feel if we were vulnerable in their care and they refused to do so? </p>
<p>Is it too much to ask that we extend such a courtesy to one another… as a means to error on the side of precaution so as to protect the most vulnerable in society?…as a means to help the same medical professionals, who mask up for us without resistance, keep the healthcare system from being overloaded? After all, are we not in one another’s care? </p>
<p>I, for one, haven’t found any good reason to not take such a simple step of support and respect. </p>
<p>During this unprecedented time in history, inside the limitations of being human and the frustrations of learning as we go, let us give the benefit of the doubt and offer more consideration to others. If our children can do it with such grace and empathy, surely we can too. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6717117
2021-08-14T10:28:12-06:00
2021-08-14T10:28:12-06:00
Compassion is Essential
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/7f31061fbd1c32c31954f116fce0b0269b742f1a/original/matt-collamer-8ug90aypdw4-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />If you’re like me, you have some books sitting on the shelf that you got along the way, perhaps in moments of inspiration or as gifts. You may wonder if you’ll ever read some of them, yet they seem too good to part with so they just sit. Then one day you pick up a particular book and start reading, and it’s like the precise timing of the encounter was meant to be. That’s how it’s been for me with “Empowered Love” by Steven Stosny. In a nutshell it’s about how we humans need to move from operating out of the “toddler brain” to the “adult brain” if we want our relationships — or perhaps even just ourselves — to be healthy. While the book focuses on romantic partnerships, I think its teaching is broadly applicable to all relationships and anyone one might “other.” </p>
<p>In this book, Stosny highlights compassion as essential. We all long for someone to truly care about how we feel. Without compassion a relationship will succumb to resentment and from there it’s a slippery slope to contempt wherein one blames their bad feelings on another. In a compassion-deficient relationship, people develop the bad habit of protecting their vulnerabilities by reducing the other’s worth through criticism, labeling, or worse. All the while the person mired in resentment and contempt loses sight of their values by acting out poorly in the “toddler brain,” thus forgetting who they really are, let alone the other person. A way to transcend this troubling dynamic is to recover one’s sense of worthiness, one’s personal lovability, and stay grounded in it. For me this practice is a spiritual one, between my Creator and me. From that place of known worthiness, regardless of what another does, I am truly free to make the choice to be loving because it’s my standard of living. It’s up to me whether or not I act from the “adult brain” and keep or compromise my values. </p>
<p>There are no guarantees that leading with compassion will draw out the best in others, but it certainly draws out the best in you if you allow it to. And, at the end of the day, you are the only one who has to live with yourself. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6709809
2021-08-07T09:12:34-06:00
2021-08-07T09:18:04-06:00
Time to Review
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/f98d00d37a4a55e0bb3c91bbbc896b65a95faf6e/original/dingzeyu-li-ie8ww5kux3o-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Long ago I started a tradition of naming birthday goals when I turned another year wiser. This time, in addition to anticipating the year to come, I’ve decided to reflect upon the past 365 days I've lived and acknowledge some things learned, remembered, or simply enjoyed. Here’s what I’ve got… </p>
<ul> <li>Even though it’s a pain to quarantine when you have Covid symptoms or have been exposed, it’s an act of love that values others’ well-being more than one’s social calendar. <br> </li> <li>You can almost always reclaim an interaction or special occasion with a sincere and earnest “do-over." <br> </li> <li>No matter how aware you are that every human will die… no matter how many times you lose a loved one… no matter how clear the writing is on the wall that death is imminent… it still remains a shock to hear someone you care about has passed. <br> </li> <li>It’s good for children to try new things, and perhaps even more-so for adults. <br> </li> <li>There’s a fine line between keeping a full, productive schedule and escaping unwanted realities. <br> </li> <li>Empowerment can be as simple as making a phone call. <br> </li> <li>A good counselor or mentor is a light-worker in the very real way of shining a light on what needs to be seen. <br> </li> <li>Overt racism is like a loud explosion, covert racism is like a quiet inferno. <br> </li> <li>A four-year term for the presidential office was an excellent idea. <br> </li> <li>You really can learn a musical instrument online. <br> </li> <li>There are still prophets among us and they often look like everyday people. <br> </li> <li>You can peak in your late 70s and 80s and still be thriving in your 90s. <br> </li> <li>It’s not just children who are resilient, pretty much all beings are capable of adapting. <br> </li> <li>Wearing a mask is a small act of respect that spreads compassion instead of germs. <br> </li> <li>Be careful not to suffer over your suffering; one time through is enough. <br> </li> <li>If you’re open minded you get to enjoy a lot more variety in life. <br> </li> <li>Buy yourself flowers as a reminder that your joy matters. <br> </li> <li>Know where your “No.” lies in case you need it. <br> </li> <li>People outside of your home only share what they want you to see and it’s often just the prettiest smidge of their world. <br> </li> <li>The truth really does set you free and once you’ve said it you’ve done your part. <br> </li> <li>Focusing on what you can do helps ease the sting of what you cannot. <br> </li> <li>Zoom holidays have their upside. <br> </li> <li>Just because something doesn’t happen to you doesn’t mean it’s not real. <br> </li> <li>Radical acceptance is a key step toward a better life. <br> </li> <li>The shadow side of persistence is self-absorption. <br> </li> <li>People who work for Apple Support are amazing. <br> </li> <li>It doesn’t matter how big or fancy the offering is, just make it. <br> </li> <li>A promise can be a false sense of security. <br> </li> <li>If you don’t speak to the contrary, people assume you agree with them. <br> </li> <li>If you’re lucky, your neighborhood can feel like extended family. <br> </li> <li>I trust the global health community more than I don’t. <br> </li> <li>I finally know what a swim heat is. <br> </li> <li>Oregon is a beautiful state. <br> </li> <li>The Redwoods of Northern California are alive and majestic, having been present to the earth for centuries (up to 2000 years!). <br> </li> <li>Daily prayer and meditation is great for regulating emotions. <br> </li> <li>Authentic living ironically requires true vulnerability wherein you could be harmed… and it’s worth it. </li>
</ul>
<p>So there you have it. It isn’t an exhaustive list but it is what comes to mind as I gratefully conclude another trip around the sun. </p>
<p>What might you discover when you take time to review your own voyage? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6703544
2021-07-31T20:59:31-06:00
2021-07-31T22:00:52-06:00
A Magnificent Instrument
<p>I learned a bit about algorithms recently from watching a documentary on technology. It is fascinating to me how computer programs go to work undeterred to reach goals set forth by instructions received. And when it comes to social media, the user is along for the ride (often unknowingly) as a key assistant to this process by way of any online interaction, helping a given company achieve wealth by studying the user’s preferences. </p>
<p>While it can be alarming to realize one is a pawn of an industry that studies your clicks for profit, the notion of how powerful algorithms are struck me as an analogy for the capabilities of our minds. A believer in the notion that our lives go in the direction of our most dominant thoughts, I can see how our minds, as great computers, follow the directions we give it with similar precision. After all, we are the lead programmers of our lives. We can set an objective intentionally and focus upon it steadily. By doing so, it’s as if we have placed a magnetic pull ahead of us that will draw us to that desire in time. </p>
<p>The difference between us and actual computers, obviously, is that we get distracted and go off course. And while I’d much rather be part of the human world, with all its personal variations and quirks, my pondering about algorithms reminds me of our power to achieve incredible things when we set our minds to doing so. </p>
<p>Indeed the mind is a magnificent instrument. Let us choose wisely how to use it. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6697118
2021-07-24T07:41:44-06:00
2021-07-24T07:41:44-06:00
Aim for Love
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/967674d5d3ebfc37357d22470c85916ae8e9eb1a/original/elias-maurer-vwp5h4fkfsm-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Yesterday my daughter read to me a picture book titled, “Love Matters Most.” As she started, I thought how that phrase — love matters most — about says it all. What if, with every situation that challenges us in life, we were to consistently form our answers from love? </p>
<p>Could it be that simple, to keep love at the center? One definition of love from Merriam-Webster is, “unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.” </p>
<p>Of course the most loving response doesn’t always come easy and it isn’t always pleasing to whom we are trying to love. But if we meditate on love, and ask big Love to guide us, perhaps we’ll get there one moment at a time. </p>
<p>Yes, to aim for love with every step sounds like the best way in which to “live and move and have our being.” </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6691058
2021-07-17T16:12:55-06:00
2021-07-17T16:12:55-06:00
To Stay in Your Power
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/1585c6885c27160a57a1cea370e0a05ed1d37693/original/animals-4160049-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Years ago I worked a job in which I had to report something that made my boss very angry. Her interactions with me then became hostile and intimidating. It was clear she was trying to run me out of the workplace. Given the complexity of the situation, and all I was carrying in my personal life at that time (my parents had just died), she won. I reached a point where I couldn’t live with the fight or flight intensity surging through my body day in and day out any longer. Her retaliation got the best of me and I surrendered without a Plan B in place. It didn’t matter that I was a single, young adult orphan in the throes of grief about to be suddenly unemployed. I needed to escape from that toxic environment ASAP. </p>
<p>Sometimes I wonder what would have happened had I the strength to stand my ground longer. Could I have made it so that she, the bully, would have to contend with my rootedness? I’ll never know. It can be easy (even if unrealistic) to imagine a different, perhaps more triumphant narrative once we’ve stepped away from a given crisis, when both our energy and perspective have been replenished. Nonetheless, with really difficult people, at times the healthiest choice is to spare yourself further agony. Leave their mess for them to sort out without you there as a punching bag. That said, there are also junctures in life when the most valuable and necessary position to take is something akin to, “If anyone goes it will be you because I’m not leaving.” These are metamorphic moments when one stands up to a tormentor with an “over my dead body” conviction, come what may. It’s the stuff of Rosa Parks, Ghandi, and Jesus of Nazareth, to name a few world renown examples. Surely though, one need not be operating on such a scale of influence to make a brave difference in the life of another and thus subsequent generations. </p>
<p>One way to know whether it’s best to persist or depart a situation may be to consult our instincts. A week ago I was trimming a bushy vine that was covering the side door of our house. We don’t use that door and so it’s often overgrown. I was making progress clipping away, getting up around the light fixture when I realized there was a nest with a momma bird on it! The blades had gotten within a few inches of her home and she hadn’t flinched once. She was solid and focused, not about to go anywhere. Her babies were beneath her and she would not consider leaving them for one instant. Immediately I stopped what I was doing and backed away. I was filled with deep admiration for this mother’s steadfastness, dedication, and courage and thought, YES, that’s what it means to stay in your power. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6684367
2021-07-10T13:45:45-06:00
2021-07-10T13:45:45-06:00
On Course
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/e497d4ec1de0db18352c2134c436d2dacc5b13bc/original/gothic-1629448-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />This July marks 14 years since my mom transitioned to heaven. I recall a moment in her final days when she said from her deathbed, “We had some good times, didn’t we.” And there it was slamming into me, the end of the book. I recall acutely feeling the finality of this part of my life. There would be no more memories of her to collect. </p>
<p>Painful losses have a way of reminding us that our lifespans are preciously limited. In addition to mourning the loved one who has crossed over, death invites us survivors to take an introspective pause to evaluate our own journeys. Are we on course to living a life with minimal regrets and maximum purpose? Are we living a love-based life? </p>
<p>I recently heard a medical doctor say he once had a professor that assigned students to write their own eulogy. What a fruitful exercise I imagine, to consider the meaning we may deposit into the lives of those around us, to contemplate how we might contribute our value to the world. </p>
<p>Let’s not take any of this for granted. Let us course correct where we need to, again and again. Let us live authentically and fully the life we’ve been entrusted to live. </p>
<p>How do you hope to one day be remembered? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6678032
2021-07-03T08:20:58-06:00
2021-07-03T08:20:58-06:00
Independent
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/6b808ab2c97c90b752db58fd0f83bc5991b95e59/original/statue-of-liberty-1210001-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Independent — a quality for which many strive. It is a treasure to be held in delicate balance with its cousin, interdependent. Avoiding the extreme edges we can see the value of this pairing, of this healthy tension… </p>
<p>To be autonomous yet intertwined </p>
<p>To not be controlled yet depend upon those you trust </p>
<p>To be self-reliant yet partner with others to do more </p>
<p>To not be tied to approval yet welcome input </p>
<p>To know where you stand yet willing to dialogue </p>
<p>Independent means free. And freedom isn’t reckless. It’s shared reverence. It’s the privilege to create, to transform, and to exercise our wings… together. </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6670587
2021-06-25T15:31:38-06:00
2021-06-25T15:34:37-06:00
Breaking Free
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/206aa232a8c5986d546d3aea329f1129481c9fce/original/bird-3879179-1280.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Sometimes I feel like I’m living a lifelong riddle of how to coordinate my energy with what really matters. There are so many contradictions at work in society that it seems nearly impossible to live both simply and involved. The volumes of paperwork, emails, calls, texts, are just some of the ways we can get bogged down in “participation.” It seems we have to buy into some measure of the rat race if we want to live in the modern world today. Before long all the extra “stuff” ends up center stage as we entertain a false sense of what’s important, of what’s really our responsibility, thus missing the point of being present to the most treasured, meaningful, beautiful parts of living. </p>
<p>So how do we get rid of the clutter — the material, digital, scheduling, ruminating clutter that takes on a life of its own, stealing our time and joy? How can we beak free from needless attachments and the useless guilt trips imposed by self or others? Stephen Covey’s matrix from his book, <em>First Things First</em>, has resurfaced in my mind to point me in the right direction. It basically helps one realize where they are putting their time and energy, using four quadrants: </p>
<p>1) Important and Urgent (e.g. actual crises, pressing problems, true deadlines). As you might imagine, these are things we have to manage out of necessity. </p>
<p>2) Important and NOT urgent (e.g. planning for things you care about, relationship-building time, relaxation and recreation). This is the golden zone where we want to focus most of our time for quality living. </p>
<p>3) NOT important and urgent (e.g. most emails, some calls, other people’s expectations, etc.). This is where urgency is disguised as importance and we have to avoid spending time here. </p>
<p>4) NOT important and NOT urgent (e.g. junk mail, busywork, mindless tv watching, etc.). This quadrant is where time is wasted the most and the best option is to skip it altogether. </p>
<p>Using the above guide I can stop and ask myself where does a particular task fall. Just pausing to pray and order my day can help tremendously. As I try to live mostly in the spaces of the first two quadrants, I have to be aware of the lure of the bottom two, especially the false sense of responsibility that bubbles up to challenge healthy boundaries. </p>
<p>Covey’s matrix is just one tool in service of prioritizing what really matters in life. Whatever the method, the goal is worthwhile for our time here is precious. How might you break free to enjoy your life force more fully? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6664338
2021-06-19T10:31:21-06:00
2021-08-22T14:33:05-06:00
Regeneration
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/aeb7691fb6477de1e989665938152df1507ed92f/original/meditation-1384758-1920.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />On a few medical websites I’ve been reading about the liver’s amazing capacity, more than any other organ, to regenerate. The liver is able to replace damaged tissue even after up to 60% of its cells have been killed off. The goal it has is body homeostasis by maintaining a normal liver-to-bodyweight ratio. This is yet again another incredible example of our body’s design to heal and recover. </p>
<p>What caused me to look up information about the liver in the first place was my curiosity about the restorative capacity of the body and my hunch that the same is true of our soul life. I’ve found that whenever I’m on the other side of a difficulty, or I’ve at least been given a break from a troubling situation for a period of time, my inner world finds its way back to an equilibrium of sorts. Once recalibrated, I can reclaim an awareness of who I really am and what truly matters in life with a presence of peace and joy. </p>
<p>We’ve likely all seen this process of spiritual rehabilitation occur in people we love if not in ourselves. As soon as one has space from the toxins of their life, or the tragedy has passed, the return to wholeness begins. It may come by way of rest and perspective, or by radical acceptance and letting go, or perhaps just by time that eventually yields to a good endorphin-rising laugh. </p>
<p>However it is we mend, I take great solace in knowing that, like the body, our souls know the way there. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6657707
2021-06-12T14:35:34-06:00
2021-06-12T14:35:34-06:00
Your Relationship with You
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/1eaf8904bf6ceddbd995e13511b26138d7aacd0c/original/brett-jordan-6lsposyrnha-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />A couple of years into marriage, when the honeymoon phase segued into “ordinary time,” and from there some difficulties emerged, I became a student of intimate partnerships. It’s what I do whenever faced with a challenge; I read books, go to workshops, and seek out mentors who can enlighten me on whatever topic I’m exploring. In this particular process, I increased my understanding regarding how relationships can work (or not). And over the years, as I continue to learn, there’s a pattern I’ve seen play out between couples time and again. It goes something like this: </p>
<p>Two people fall in love and offer one another their best selves. In my view, this “best self” is one’s true essence. It comes forth naturally as each person, through the support of love, aligns with their intrinsic goodness. The connection is blissful and authentic. This stage that drew the two in so closely together is self-limiting, however. It eventually gives way to the messiness of each individual’s faulty programming. Up rises all of the issues each person still needs to work through in their own personal development — perhaps family of origin dynamics, or a certain brain chemistry that was on hiatus due to the “falling in love” hormones, or things like social and cultural conditioning, and so forth. These revelations range from unsettling to downright ugly, and the two who were so harmoniously in love are now confronted with tense discord, also known as invitations to grow. </p>
<p>At first it can seem dreadful to encounter less-than-desirable traits in ourselves and our beloved. Yet, when we realize we are an instrument of evolution for one another, we can embrace this work as a spiritual practice. We can rise to the occasion. After all, I don’t think it’s coincidence that we typically end up partnering with somebody who reveals to us precisely what it is we need to work on for our own maturation. I see this as our subconscious attraction to growth. And so it is wise to pay attention to the triggers, the root beliefs, the negative patterns, the self-talk, and more. Take time to reflect and then stick to your side of the street while cleaning up whatever you can. And here’s the key: </p>
<p>The path of working through one’s issues, while in the mirror of a relationship, is going to lead you to the fullness of the person you presented to your partner in the first place... your best, truest self. This work is not about the relationship with him/her, however, it’s about your relationship with you! It’s about rediscovering that alignment with your intrinsic goodness, that deposit of God that has been there from the start regardless of your outer relationships. </p>
<p>Evolutionary work may not always be merciful in its unfolding, but in the end it can certainly be grace-filled. It has the potential to lead you to freedoms that come with personal responsibility, healthy self-love, and a deeper prayer life. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6650588
2021-06-05T13:39:06-06:00
2021-06-05T13:39:06-06:00
Honoring Grief
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/ff12d83b6447903dc4c3bb9f665e74581533c837/original/karim-manjra-6im5goht664-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />There are two hearty limbs on the tree of grief, in my experience — that of the actual dead and the that of the living dead. Numerous smaller outgrowths branch off of each part, variations of “that which will never be” and sometimes “that which never was.” </p>
<p>The actual dead is just as it sounds, somebody has died. Their body breathes no more. Whereas the living dead is the death of a relationship, or a way of life, or a dream — the losses we cannot bury or burn. </p>
<p>When my childhood friend died, I knew she would never grow to be a woman, never have the decades of life taken from her. That actual death contained the tremendous loss of what will never be. </p>
<p>When my grandfather died young from alcoholism my dad was left to grieve that which never was. Though they loved each other, my dad would never know what it was like to grow up with a consistently sober father. </p>
<p>When a couple I knew birthed a child with a significant disability, they grieved the death of a dream they had, a dream to have a healthy child. They encountered this living death every trip to the park where they would see other kids who did not have such irreversible limitations. </p>
<p>When a man I once knew was served divorce papers, he reported that the pain for him was far worse than the passing of his dear mother. This was because his mother didn’t choose to leave him, whereas his ex-wife did. He grieved knowing his ex-wife was alive and well yet not with him. </p>
<p>The territory of grief is often a murky, interwoven combination of threads like these and more. Despite efforts to sort it out, it never really falls into tidy compartments. Whatever its source or direction, I believe one thing to be true: grief needs to be honored. Yes we must press forward in time, focusing on our blessings to help us move through the sadness … but first let us pause to acknowledge our losses, if only to ourselves, and reverence them as parts of us that matter… with a gentleness that recognizes the difficulty of holding precious pieces unfulfilled. </p>
<p>Where in your life might you need to honor grief? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6642694
2021-05-28T12:23:21-06:00
2021-06-28T06:40:40-06:00
With Whom Do You Stand
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/02981cd081d93cf3499e7dde383d5f19987c740e/original/andrea-tummons-nlh54utbftq-unsplash.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>On several walks home from school recently my nine-year-old has been telling me about a boy in her grade that is very competitive at recess time. The kids will be playing a game and it seems this child goes a little too far, gets a little too intense, to where it’s no longer fun. I’m so grateful my daughter talks to me about her observations and feelings and that together we can process what boundaries she needs to hold when interactions with him become uncomfortable. </p>
<p>Meanwhile the teacher evidently heard rumblings of conflict at recess and worked with all of the kids involved to set some ground rules. That was helpful and things had been going alright when one day my daughter mentioned that there was yet another episode with this particular boy. I was proud of her when she told me how steady and maturely she handled the situation. She added, however, that despite her doing all the right things, the teacher still had to get involved. I listened closely. Apparently another classmate went to the teacher, on her own, to inform the teacher that the boy was becoming way too aggressive toward my daughter. The boy hadn’t done anything outright, nothing verbally or physically inappropriate, but this classmate sensed a relentless hostility in him that made her feel uneasy… uneasy enough to flag it to the teacher. </p>
<p>I felt such appreciation and admiration for this classmate to have had the good sense in her bones to know when a line was being crossed, even without word or deed. Bullying is more than a swear or a push, it’s an energy that intimidates another, that makes them feel unsafe, that leaves anticipation of harm in the air. This classmate was so wise and so brave to notice this and furthermore to say something to someone who could help. </p>
<p>My daughter and I then discussed how wonderful it is when someone stands with us — when we are facing the bad behavior of another, or when we’re dealing with big problems, or when we cannot even see that we in fact need support. To have a friend who will stand with you can make all the difference in the world. </p>
<p>This situation reminded me that I am richly blessed to have such people in my own life… friends with whom solidarity is assumed without explanation and reinforcement is deployed whenever necessary. </p>
<p>With whom do you stand and who stands with you? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6637054
2021-05-21T19:46:45-06:00
2021-05-21T19:46:45-06:00
A Responsibility to Love
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/de9ec13ca08ea26417bd9c2d5a6fc1e99e08a4cc/original/watercolour-2109383-340.jpg/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I’m not inclined to ask why does God allow suffering? Instead, my questions are often along the lines of… </p>
<p>Why did that person misuse their free will to hurt another?… or </p>
<p>Why don’t we make better choices when the negative consequences are easily anticipated?…or </p>
<p>Why isn’t society learning from this situation?… and so forth. </p>
<p>In other words, the problem isn’t really God’s per se; it’s ours. We’ve been given a great responsibility — a responsibility to love. </p>
<p>Some haven’t learned how to love very well from the start, through no fault of their own. Others did learn how to love but have forgotten over time due to distractions that derailed them or heartaches that shut them down. And many more have always known what love requires yet choose instead a path that asks nothing of them. </p>
<p>Still love waits. </p>
<p>Love waits to be learned… </p>
<p>and remembered… </p>
<p>and lived. </p>
<p>It is ours for the pursuing. Love isn’t going anywhere. </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6631205
2021-05-15T10:09:23-06:00
2022-02-25T12:56:21-06:00
We Are Not Alone
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/6519814fadd135fa7e8cb18f18983ec16bd27b5f/original/shamrock-2405549-1920.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />What I like about the doctrine of the Trinity in the Christian Tradition is that it affirms there are different ways — at least three — in which one experiences God. </p>
<p>God as Creator reminds me that there is a source of life from which all matter is formed and is sustained. </p>
<p>God as Redeemer reminds me that we have been designed to live healthy and free, with a rejuvenating grace that mends us when needed, again and again. </p>
<p>God as Holy Spirit reminds me that we are more than our bodies, that there is an energy which animates all living beings, and this energy cannot be destroyed. </p>
<p>I recently read that within the Trinity, God has never been alone. From there it then follows that we, being made of the “stuff” of God, are never alone either. We are each a part of that Trinitarian dance, that relationship with God and among God. </p>
<p>On my better days I take intentional time to contemplate this dance with God in prayer. Tuning into that sensation, I experience God holding everything there is to hold — like an affectionate parent (Creator), there to guide (Redeemer), there to love infinitely (Holy Spirit). </p>
<p>Of course there are boundless ways to understand God, which is why I enjoy Interreligious Dialogue. Learning how other cultures approach the divine only serves to expand my comprehension of this Eternal Presence. When we put our awe and wonder caps on we realize that, regardless of religious doctrine, an Amazing Intelligence is at work throughout this planet. And, according to NASA, “Our Milky Way Galaxy is just one of billions of galaxies in the universe.” Surely then, we cannot pin down just one definition for the Source of All. We can, however, embrace that there is an ongoing relationship among all of existence — that which has taken shape, that which is revitalized throughout, and that which can never be annihilated only transformed. This relationship sounds a lot like the Trinity to me and ultimately a lot like Love. </p>
<p>We are not alone. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6625154
2021-05-08T09:06:05-06:00
2021-05-09T09:00:29-06:00
Love Is Worth It
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/4f0e5b426a7de2d42aacfd7321eeaa36fa8f9181/original/bleeding-heart-1399330-639x472.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />We’ve all heard people say “Why me?” when bad things happen. I knew a man, however, who flipped that notion on its head and would say, “Why not me?” In other words, what makes me so special that I would be spared the full human experience, including suffering and heartache at times. </p>
<p>The design of this world seems to have a key component, freedom. We are free to choose love or hate, right or wrong, life or death at times, and to take or shirk responsibility. When choices are positive and the impact is good we feel all is right in the world. Yet when the negative encroaches we can be surprised and moan, “Why me?” We forget that with all the luxuries of freedom comes the high cost of chaos. I call this the spin-off of free will. It’s ripple effect is a mystery, but the pain remains precise. </p>
<p>The bottom line is this. We cannot have the best in life without being vulnerable to the worst. We can’t love without surrendering our heart, and it may be broken. We cannot move about the earth without encountering struggles or bumping into hardships. We cannot live without inevitably dying. As a philosophy teacher once told me, our Creator must have valued love so much as to allow all the rest. In the end, it appears, love is worth it. </p>
<p>We get to walk on this planet such a short while, and as Tennyson’s old saying goes, "'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” For those of us who have experienced any kind of loss, at least we know we have truly lived and experienced, even if only briefly, the best there is to know this side of heaven. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6619260
2021-05-01T18:24:59-06:00
2021-05-01T20:44:37-06:00
We Work or Mine Alone
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/94120a30566fa165f98f87fa2588f1e61de6935e/original/love-826936-1920.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />If you’re a human who has interacted with other humans, chances are very likely that you’ve experienced relationship challenges at some point in your life. Whether it’s between a parent and child or among spouses, siblings, friends, etc. At times all relationships encounter difficulties. </p>
<p>In recent months, a few people have consulted me about the nature of their relationship struggles with another person. I’m certainly no expert but I read a lot and can offer safe space with contemplative candor, plus a small pocket of life experience for what it’s worth it. Though the circumstances of each situation were different, they held a common theme that went something like this: The individuals in the relationship had done a fair amount of work to improve communication and interactions with the other, yet there was something more needing attention — an external issue larger than what they could manage between them, and it was limiting their growth tremendously. </p>
<p>This led me to the notion of differentiating what I call “We Work” from the outside pieces in the relationship equation. In every relationship there is We Work to be done. We Work is part you, part me. It is the individual evolutionary adjustments each person makes in order to become their best selves and thus benefit the interplay and development of the relationship. </p>
<p>But then there are extraneous areas of an individual’s life that are not We Work, though they unquestionably deeply affect the relationship. These are the big elephants in the room, such as addiction, infidelity, abuse, and treatable mental illness, to name a few. They are the matters I call “Mine Alone” for which the one who has the problem has to take sole responsibility to heal it. The culpability is not on the We. These Mine Alone pieces fall squarely on the shoulders of the person with the issue, leaving no justification to alleviate their burden of repair. There is no “he made me do it,” or “yeah, but look what she’s done.” No amount of We Work can fix the Mine Alone parts. The individual needs to step up and own it, seeking support from professional resources with the conviction to make some wholesale changes. And if that individual does the Mine Alone work before it’s too late then they may get the grace to preserve or return to the We, moving forward together.</p>
<p>In our relationships we can do all the We Work we want but if we don’t address the the Mine Alone issues, then our potential is thwarted and all can be lost. So when looking at relationships one holds dear, make an honest assessment as to what part of the process is the give and take of We Work and what may be Mine Alone to tend to and restore. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6612847
2021-04-24T11:39:18-06:00
2021-04-24T11:41:26-06:00
Empathy and Boundaries
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/3c91bc7b16c6a35a295c0d863610474f8abe5fd9/original/lighthouse-5293966-1920.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Empathy and Boundaries </p>
<p>In recent years I have been become more acutely aware of how narcissistic our society can be. Narcissism is essentially selfishness to an extreme. People with narcissistic tendencies feel entitled to what they want, when they want it, no matter how they get it. They lack the ability to put themselves in another’s shoes, to imagine what the other person is experiencing, to pause, discern, and consider the consequences of their actions. And on top of this dreadful behavior, such a person will expect you to admire them and run your life around them as they dismiss you and your needs. This severe emotional disconnect — lack of empathy — limits the individual with narcissistic features terribly. After all, empathy requires a measure of vulnerability and together theses are the prerequisites to genuine intimacy and real love. </p>
<p>We’ve all encountered someone extremely self-focused like this before. From the global to the personal, we sadly don’t have to look too far to find people who regard themselves, their views, their preferences as more important than anyone else in the room. Think of that celebrity, that politician, that co-worker, that neighbor, or that member of your family tree. People are complex and the spectrum is wide, from those who are diagnosable at the clinical level with Narcissistic Personality Disorder to those who have bouts of narcissistic behavior that disrupt pockets of their lives significantly and repeatedly. Whatever the pattern, the root cause can be summarized in a word: brokenness. It may go back to not having a healthy attachment with a primary caregiver, or a traumatic event, or a chemical imbalance in the brain. Regardless of the specifics there is something broken inside of an individual who can function in such a distorted way with little to no awareness or regret for the toll their actions take on others. I don’t believe most people would consciously choose to live in such a shallow, hollow, and destructive way for they miss the best of life. That’s not to say they aren’t responsible for their choices, they certainly are. Yet those who are in the grips of narcissism typically lack the tools to even see another possibility. </p>
<p>So what can the average person do about this brokenness in our midst? Two things that are key: empathy and boundaries. In a culture that, at times, glorifies self-absorption we can model empathy for one another, pausing long enough to really consider how someone else feels and then offer a compassionate response. We can be an example of empathy by considering differing opinions, tolerating and even encouraging each person’s view to be voiced and validated, especially the ones with whom we disagree. We can demonstrate empathy by acknowledging everyone’s inherent, indestructible, God-given dignity by treating one another as a valued human being, including the people exhibiting narcissism. </p>
<p>The other piece to managing the brokenness we witness in the narcissistic conduct of another is to hold healthy boundaries. In twelve step groups we often hear about “detachment with love.” The idea is that, when dealing with someone’s narcissism, we say not verbally but with our reactions or non-reactions, “I love you too much to allow you to treat me this way.” We balance our empathy with protection by not letting the person walk all over us, beat us down emotionally, or disregard the truth of our experiences. They are not allowed access to our innermost selves to wreak such havoc and so any attempt they make to violate our self-worth is rejected. We need not defend or explain ourselves (in fact doing so is futile with someone in the throes of narcissism), we simply hold firm inside to what we know to be true and to what we will or will not do regardless of what the other person says or does. We stay aligned with our best selves even if the person throws a tantrum or threatens retaliation or abandons their responsibilities. We do what is ours to do and no more, leaving their mess for them to clean up. In other words, maintaining boundaries means we know when to walk away. </p>
<p>Responding to the brokenness that comes with narcissistic behavior requires a strong practice of authentic empathy and healthy boundaries. This practice takes awareness and intention and an ongoing commitment to the process. The goal isn’t to change a particular person, it’s to preserve the best part of ourselves and build on that. It’s to drown out the impact self-centeredness has on all of us by consciously adding to the light in the world. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6606994
2021-04-17T16:13:21-06:00
2021-08-22T03:32:41-06:00
Sweet Dreams
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/ff7df5e48f38765f14cf39ad3fee46e4dc1fcc4e/original/dream-4827288-1920.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Last night I had the privilege of presenting online to a wonderful group of women on the topic of “Spiritual Growth through Dream Work.” I’m not a therapist, psychologist, or Jungian analyst but I am a contemplative seeker who has experienced profound insights by doing intentional dream work over the past fifteen years. It has become a spiritual practice for me that deepens my journey. Dream work is an ancient tradition that has been appreciated by many throughout the ages who understand that dreams are an intimate, intricate gift of soul wisdom from the Dream Maker. </p>
<p>Most dream workers, including myself, will tell you that all dreams lead to healing and wholeness… even the disturbing ones. The way dreams do this is by communicating the unconscious to the conscious and “waking us up” to an area or issue in our life needing attention. Dreams offer a unique entry point to that “still small voice” within that seeks to guide us toward actualizing our best selves. When we deliberately work with dreams we can bring our lives into better balance and harmony. </p>
<p>More often that not, in my experience, dreams come with a request for us… perhaps to make a change, or appreciate something, or to take some action. </p>
<p>What might your dreams be telling you? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6600510
2021-04-10T18:32:43-06:00
2021-04-10T18:32:43-06:00
Building Bridges
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/f0089e0747132a8069050dad4dc6884ee5293c9a/original/tomas-williams-nud0qhskxdg-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />This past week, theologian, author, professor, and Catholic priest Hans Küng passed away at the age of 93, may he rest in peace. His work was a powerful and liberating influence on me in graduate school. For starters, he appealed to one’s reason to make a case for a God that is both immeasurable and personal. His writings credibly point out that throughout the entire history of mankind there has never been a discovery of a body of people who did not have some trace of religion. That in mind, much of Küng’s work has a marvelous way of exploring the differing world religions and how people in all civilizations are faced with the same crucial, philosophical questions of existence, purpose, suffering and destiny. Küng found that oftentimes the answers to these ultimate questions were more similar than not. </p>
<p>A major theme in Küng’s interreligious work is that to achieve peace among nations we must have peace among religions. Reaching peace among religions requires dialogue, and that dialogue involves exploring the other religion as fully as possible. This process starts responsibly by knowing your own background and tradition. Then you enter into another’s experience with respect and openness. Subsequently, you will typically return from the encounter enriched. This beautiful practice is of course reciprocal and ongoing. </p>
<p>Though Küng’s books helped me years ago to write my synthesis paper (<em>Promoting Global Justice & Peace through Interreligious Dialogue</em>), I’ve learned that the principals for interreligious dialogue can be applied to many relationships in life. When we can move past the challenges of fear, hostility, or intolerance to really have a cooperative exchange of experiences and ideas, genuine transformation can happen. As we dialogue we are invited to deepen our perspectives, whether that be of God, or another race, or politics, or gender, or our neighbor, and so forth. </p>
<p>Let us be open to communicating our positions and understandings with goodwill toward one another. In doing so we can usher in the enlightenment that is bound to come with such exchanges. This is the work of building bridges — connecting with one another — and it is a gift. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6593626
2021-04-03T21:40:01-06:00
2021-04-03T21:58:06-06:00
Hope and Glory
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/928b888843527f15e3a20a14a4cea72da624e15d/original/nasa-czigtq8gpi4-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />For this week’s blog post I thought I would share an original poem called “Hope and Glory.” May you be inspired! </p>
<p><strong>"Hope and Glory"</strong> <em>Written By: Tammy Winn<strong> </strong></em></p>
<p>There’s no lesson to learn tonight </p>
<p>No prison for wrong or right </p>
<p>Just Love that falls between </p>
<p>Hope and Glory </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There’s no guilt for passionate roads </p>
<p>No question of sharing the load </p>
<p>Just Love that rests within </p>
<p>Hope and Glory </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hope and Glory </p>
<p>There is such space </p>
<p>Hope and Glory </p>
<p>Find a place </p>
<p>Hope and Glory </p>
<p>Where eternity entangles me </p>
<p>With you </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There are movements of life to be </p>
<p>From points which we cannot see </p>
<p>Just Love in the midst of </p>
<p>Hope and Glory </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There are rhythms tasked to revolve </p>
<p>Within which we all will evolve </p>
<p>Just Love that plays among </p>
<p>Hope and Glory </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hope and Glory </p>
<p>Experience </p>
<p>Hope and Glory </p>
<p>No expense </p>
<p>Hope and Glory </p>
<p>Where eternity entangles me </p>
<p>With you </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The invitation stays pure </p>
<p>From a home so secure </p>
<p>And Love alive inside </p>
<p>Hope and Glory</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6586617
2021-03-27T10:03:56-06:00
2021-03-27T10:03:56-06:00
Your Preciousness
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/a59d61d4e8285891d3d7b068b541d3a4333fb57b/original/photo-1571425046056-cfc17c664e57.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Our parents can do this for us as we grow… </p>
<p>Later on a romantic partner might do this for us, especially while falling in love… </p>
<p>Children are capable of doing this for us in the simplest of ways… </p>
<p>And soul friends will certainly try to do this for us… </p>
<p>Anyone in life can reflect back to another one’s preciousness. Often we find a person or two, maybe a handful, who do it really well. Yet relationships can struggle or go sour, and every human has a set of personal challenges. Thus for one to always depend upon another to uphold the mirror of significance is a recipe for disappointment. If your belief that you are precious rests on how someone else sees you, eventually you will find yourself in an emotional free fall that calls into question your worthiness. </p>
<p>Instead of seeking someone else to show us our preciousness, let us aim to see it in ourselves as our Creator does. Let us remember what our souls already know deeply. Make it a priority to stay aligned with the Infinite Intelligence of Love that many call God, of whom we are made in the image and likeness. It’s up to us to stay mindful of this Eternal Source of Preciousness always valuing us, regardless of what others say or do, regardless of what we say or do to ourselves. </p>
<p>Indeed be grateful to and for those solid people in your life who remind you of your preciousness, and be intentional in reminding others of their own. Such beautiful exchanges of compassion bless us profoundly. But let the surest bond of knowing your preciousness remain between you and the Love which sustains the world — a love that invites you to love yourself. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6580026
2021-03-20T12:19:36-06:00
2021-03-20T12:19:36-06:00
Graces Interwoven
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/6fd4bca1c7a4883cf3ee7b9e90c7f5be59949aa9/original/silvia-fang-xhpoxcr4-c0-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />On a regular basis I like to recall times when things have felt really aligned in my life, like a prayer request that has been answered to my delight. I do this as part of a gratitude practice to remind me that, whatever my current dilemmas might be, whatever my wishes are, they too could be resolved or realized at some point. When doing this ritual recently, I zoomed out from the particular memory to see the context around the “answered prayer.” I remembered that life is an ongoing mix of blessing and challenge… that despite whatever is happening there are always graces interwoven. </p>
<p>One example of alignment I recalled is when I was in graduate school and loving every minute of it. My time there was a huge gift and, if you looked at that experience independently, it was nearly perfect. Yet the backdrop of my life at that time was anything but perfect. When I started the program I was putting my heart back together after a terrible breakup, and by the time I graduated my father was confined to a hospital bed in our living room due to cancer. Thus the curriculum was such a grace interwoven for me at that time. </p>
<p>Another example I recalled is when I finally got to Kenya, after six years of planning, saving, and fundraising to fulfill a lifelong dream of going to Africa. Again, if I were to share my reaction to the experience in and of itself you would hear me describe how incredible it was, nothing short of amazing. Yet the backdrop here was that just three weeks before I was scheduled to go my father had died — a devastating loss for me. Still the trip was the realization of something I had wanted for so long, and it turned out that being in a foreign land was a grace interwoven for my grieving heart. </p>
<p>I have many more examples like these that demonstrate hardship or loss leading to or including some grace. We all do. Just look at the past year of enduring the Covid pandemic. What a dreadful experience for the world, with acute suffering for so many. Even still, a lot of graces have emerged in unexpected ways. And the graces of any situation don’t justify the pain or destruction to our lives but they do remind us that hope is a reality — that something good can be found even as we ache, and that this good will rise up again and again. </p>
<p>Where can you identify the graces Interwoven in your life? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6572775
2021-03-13T10:55:48-06:00
2021-03-13T10:55:48-06:00
To Be a Truth Teller
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/29d4c76e811d3a7f01987b926bdc2a0270e37b61/original/markus-winkler-yypmca32u-m-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />A few headlines lately have highlighted the power of truth-telling. This got me thinking about times in my life when I’ve had to speak up, despite the discomfort and uncertainty of where that truth might lead. Truth-telling takes various forms; the range is wide. I recall confessing simple wrongdoings to my parents when I was a child… I recall as a young adult how I had to tell my fiancé that, despite loving him, I could not marry him… I recall the time I was obligated to report the pervasive sexual harassment of an institution’s leader… and so on. In all of these examples I encountered some level of suffering before I found the courage to be a truth teller. As author Richard Rohr puts it, “Before the truth sets you free, it tends to make you miserable.” </p>
<p>Most recently the truth-telling I’ve been doing is of the introspective kind, wherein I’m honest with myself about particular issues that confront me. Candor with one’s self seems to be an essential first step toward transformation. By accepting the truth of a situation we can spur the slightest movement of hope toward something better, or at least relief. Once we’re on the other side of the matter, we tend to realize that it was resistance that took up most of our energy. How nice it would be to learn from that expense and skip the denial phase next time. After all, wouldn’t our energy be better used to make peace with what is, or to plan a path forward, or to discover how to integrate the named truth more fully into our lives? Yet denial is persistent in its purpose of holding the truth until we are ready to look at it, until we’ve summoned up enough certainty and bravery to express ourselves. </p>
<p>To be a truth teller can require a lot of us. I’ve found I get the best results when I’ve done the work of knowing who I am, where I stand, and why. This clarity helps anchor me in integrity when doubt or insecurities get stirred. It is also imperative to have the support of a few key people who will listen, who will trust your experience, who will offer you compassion, and who will remind you of the dignity you bear. Keep close those who uphold your unalterable worthiness. If you are to be a truth teller, such loving reinforcement makes all the difference. </p>
<p>Where in your life is there a truth longing to liberate you? </p>
<p>How might you move toward the entry point of inner admission? </p>
<p>Who are the people that stand with you when you use your voice? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6566749
2021-03-06T09:38:15-06:00
2021-07-17T14:30:15-06:00
Grateful, Not Guilty
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/2d574ab84a03903fd0c37ed32b949ae8998e1a9b/original/liv-bruce-m0ovpgswk1e-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I have motherhood moments that transport me back in time to my own mother’s care for me. Vividly I can recall my perception of her at specific moments in time, surrounding an event or stage of life. She was steady in her love and cultivated a sense of security for us all. Now, through the lens of an adult, I realize there were things she had been carrying during some of those times, things she held carefully so as to not burden a child beyond her years. There is so much I would ask her about today, if she were still here, but we never got to talk as wives or mothers. As I become more aware of what she sacrificed for me I could feel guilty, but that’s generally not what comes to my heart. Instead, when I think of all she gave, I overwhelmingly feel grateful. This, to me, indicates just how pure her devotion to loving us was, that it came with no strings attached. </p>
<p>The idea of feeling not guilty but grateful also comes into view for me as a Christian during Lent. When I contemplate the life of Jesus, how he chose to live and what that required of him, I am filled with profound appreciation. All that he did over 2000 years ago still blesses me today. I give thanks that he worked to transform the society he lived among… that the wisdom of his timeless teachings continue to unfold for the benefit of humankind. I don’t imagine he would want us to feel guilty about his mission, but rather compelled to carry on this work of Love on earth. </p>
<p>So it is for any dedicated mother, I imagine. My mom did not care for me so that I would feel guilty, or even so that I would feel grateful. She nurtured, protected, and cherished me with the intention that I may have all that I need to live and love well when it came my time to fly. </p>
<p>Love that is freely given is a true gift. It leaves us grateful, not guilty… and I find gratefulness to be a motivator far more genuine and powerful than guilt. It can make all the difference in one’s life and, with respect to Jesus, the world. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6560408
2021-02-27T09:42:40-06:00
2021-07-13T14:23:10-06:00
Pause and Listen
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/f59b90c99aa9130c91010cce47213bb815a404a3/original/ben-white-w8jm2loqkq-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />A few things took the wind out of my sails recently. Each one individually wasn’t so bad but when accumulated they were enough to topple my optimism. As a believer in the power of the mind, however, I tried to rise above my discouragement by focusing on the positive. That didn’t hold too well this time. So I went to my next tool, which was to simply allow the negativity to be and to give it time to pass. </p>
<p>Unpleasant feelings will indeed pass. They always have, but sometimes not before we’ve given them their say. </p>
<p>You see, when a particular feeling is stubborn, not of the fleeting variety, I’ve learned it’s got a message to deliver. Persistent feelings can be allies, wanting to be heard so as to bring us awareness, protection, or healing. Maybe they deliver a reminder about integrity, or self care, or a relationship. Perhaps they highlight areas of neglect, or an invitation for creativity, or the need for redirection. </p>
<p>Whatever the announcement, when a feeling is being obstinate, that’s a cue to pause and listen. Besides, a demanding feeling typically won’t ease up until the call to action it beckons is at least acknowledged. Whether or not we agree with the feeling’s interpretation or its urge is another matter to be explored in its own right. For now it’s enough to just listen respectfully. </p>
<p>What are your feelings trying to communicate to you? How might you best tune in and honor them today? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6554171
2021-02-20T09:45:35-06:00
2021-07-24T15:43:06-06:00
Made Vulnerable
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/94ce8cfdc7dd9d2ba31254d3dc4f2f8baa03830c/original/adele-morris-feqjqqetu-c-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I think I can speak for most people I know when I say we all have fears. Some of us feel afraid only once in a while. Others entertain some form of angst daily. Regardless of how often, if you’re human, you’re bound to be scared sometimes. </p>
<p>I remember a time after both of my parents died when I’d go out walking alone at night, to Lake Michigan. This isn’t something I’d normally do, as I’m a firm believer in the Buddy System after dark. But there was almost a fearlessness in me during that stage of grief which felt like nothing could hurt me more than I was already hurting. Fear seemingly had no hold on me. I was a single young adult at the time and, though I certainly didn’t want any harm to come my way, deep sorrow had me feeling there was nothing more to lose. </p>
<p>The truth is, however, so long as we are alive, much is at stake. We are made vulnerable - our bodies, our minds, our relationships, and all we hold dear. Fearlessness is a myth. </p>
<p>So how does one find courage to live with the fears, the vulnerability that we all have? Whether the threats are big or small, fleeting or anchored, real or perceived, we need courage. Courage is defined as “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty” by Merriam-Webster. But perhaps, for a person of faith, it’s explained better in the famous saying, “Courage is fear that has said its prayers." </p>
<p>Yes, prayer is about the only way I have learned to manage the frightening parts of life. Prayer allows us to come to terms with our vulnerabilities because inherent in prayer is surrender. And surrender allows for some measure of peace because it acknowledges a power greater than ourselves can hold that which we need held. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6547566
2021-02-12T18:00:00-06:00
2021-02-13T10:15:04-06:00
Raise the Bar
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/20a813559844abcd9cf2ab663f31e7288f028ce2/original/randy-fath-icpqq0r5cyu-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Recently I went to see a specialist to follow up on a non-urgent matter. This doctor was recommended to me so I went in assuming I was in good hands. Shortly into the appointment, however, I was shocked by how rudely he was treating me. It was as if I was his entertainment for the day, someone to create a narrative about and pounce on in order to get a hit of narcissistic supply. In hindsight I wish I would have got up and walked out as soon as the red flags arose in my mind. Yet because a doctor I really like suggested him, I kept waiting, thinking perhaps he would turn things around and wow me by some great skill or insight. That never happened and I left feeling awful for having been mistreated. I have been around a lot of doctors over the years and never before have I experienced such terrible behavior by a medical “professional.” </p>
<p>In processing what happened I thought about the fact that I stayed in the room, doubting my own good sense to leave. Understandably I was astonished by the situation and it took a while for me to realize what was happening. But I am also aware that part of me rationalized staying, wondering if some sort of talent for which he had a “good reputation,” could redeem his degrading and paternalistic interpersonal skills. I’m clear now, however, that such a bar is way too low. Surely there are enough good people in a given field, that it’s not necessary to negotiate one’s dignity for high-quality care. It’s time to raise the bar. </p>
<p>The phrase, “raise the bar” comes from the sport of track and field. In both pole vault and high jump events a crossbar is raised incrementally, challenging the participants to new heights. Each time the bar is raised, more is demanded of the athlete, and those who cannot successfully make the leap are eliminated. </p>
<p>Where in your life are you needing to raise the bar, to weed out situations that don’t deserve your time and energy? Where are you accepting less out of a false sense of limited choices? </p>
<p>Being treated with respect should not be an optional standard. In the areas of our lives demanding better, let us raise the bar. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6541355
2021-02-06T09:43:11-06:00
2021-02-06T15:02:32-06:00
Trust Followed By Joy
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/d22e8a81811f4607c9791995989a171b0c05e547/original/nathan-dumlao-ezkhxgyrdte-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Sometimes things we desperately want in life don’t come at the pace we prefer, or in the form we wish, or perhaps seemingly at all. Yet we routinely make our requests known to the heavens and hope that the door we want opened indeed opens. But do we trust? </p>
<p>Do we trust that, once our prayer has been made, something greater than us holds it? </p>
<p>Over time I’m learning that persistence isn’t needed in the petitioning as much as confidence… confidence that there will be an answer in time. Not the kind of answer that denotes a God moving us around like chess pieces, but an answer that simply lies at the heart of grace unfolding. </p>
<p>I was talking about such an issue with a friend who reminded me that in the in between time — in between the asking and the comprehending an answer — the best thing I can do is to tune into all that brings me joy and savor it. Focusing on the positive aspects of life generates a receptivity in us to be open to that which comes next, and there is always some gift to be found in the Mystery that evolves us. Quite often, actually, the result is far better than we could have imagined. </p>
<p>Is there something I can appreciate, something that will help me center on joy despite the circumstances?</p>
<p>It can be quite challenging to surrender the weight of waiting to a Higher Power. Let us take that leap, however, and remove the concern off our list for the day, knowing it’s in Spirit’s inbox now and out of our hands. Then let us find something wonderful to delight in, to lift our energy for welcoming the good that is on its way. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6535028
2021-01-30T13:32:12-06:00
2021-01-30T13:32:12-06:00
Here and Now
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/eec0b4f64ed6eb0272cf256a9aeca119c559895c/original/aron-visuals-bxoxnq26b7o-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The day after my husband left on his work trip he started to feel ill. By the end of the night he had a positive rapid Covid test. So he stayed put and started isolation. Back home we hunkered down to quarantine because we had been exposed to him in the 48-hour window prior to his being symptomatic. I notified the people that needed to know, sterilized the house, then sat back and wondered… How bad will it get for my husband? Will the children get sick? Will I get sick? This prompted a weird mix of anticipation and acceptance. </p>
<p>At this point, the forthcoming results are out of our hands. And I have learned in many “touch and go” situations throughout my life that you may as well carry on with ordinary living while you wait for more information or outcomes. So the girls and I resumed our day-to-day routines, albeit away from other people, as the quarantine clock started ticking. And thus far, thankfully, we are all okay. </p>
<p>This situation has reminded me of a story my mom shared with me when I was younger. We had a neighbor once (who I was too young to recall) that developed cancer. In surgery the doctors took a look inside, closed him back up and said it was too far gone to treat. He was advised to go home and get his things in order. So that’s what he did. Once everything was “in order” he then he started waiting around, wondering when he might die. After becoming bored with that, he realized he may as well enjoy the day before him... and the day after that... and the day after that. And so he went about living one day at a time as well as he could. Days became weeks. Weeks became months. Months became years. The cancer left his body and he was healed! </p>
<p>None of us can possibly know the struggles we might face in the future, and we don’t have to look far to see that many are currently coping with very serious circumstances. Yet this week I’ve been reminded that once we’ve done our part to manage a particular challenge, we can surrender the rest and get on with living as best we can in the here and now. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6528953
2021-01-23T23:18:37-06:00
2021-01-23T23:18:37-06:00
A Deep Breath
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/14172db1b532302db561ff23dc3455c453c0f088/original/eli-defaria-vczh1joyre8-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />A few times in recent weeks I’ve had the sensation that I couldn’t get a full inhalation, the kind of deep breath that is restorative. This was an unusual feeling for me and so it caught my attention. While this symptom could have had a medical basis (and it’s always worthwhile to check that out), I wasn’t sick. So, as someone who believes in the mind-body-soul connection, I decided to tune into what my body was trying to communicate. </p>
<p>While I was listening, a wise friend pointed out that society as a collective has been dealing with the theme of breath in profound ways over the past year… </p>
<p>Covid, an illness that makes it hard to breathe and a crisis that requires us to wear masks... </p>
<p>Systemic racism, brought into deeper focus with the murder of George Floyd as he cried out for air…. </p>
<p>Domestic terrorism, another disgrace that had many holding their breath as we prayed for a peaceful transfer of power… </p>
<p>And these are just the macro headlines. Many micro moments have further knocked the wind out of folks in recent times. Dysfunctional situations of all kinds are exasperated. Thus, my friend’s insight really resonated with me. No wonder one might find it hard to take in a good, deep breath these days. </p>
<p>Ironically one thing that helps us regulate our breathing is connection, and connection has become quite the challenge in our global pandemic reality. Yet we are a creative species and sometimes the most resourceful approach is the simplest, such as… </p>
<p>Connect to your heart by a simple gesture of placing your hand over it while you take in one mindful breath at a time… </p>
<p>Connect to your body with something that enlivens the senses like music that moves you, pleasant aromatherapy, delicious food, or a relaxing bath… </p>
<p>Connect to the planet by taking a stroll outside, staying present to the elements around you… </p>
<p>Connect to those with whom you live by being generous with hugs and snuggles… </p>
<p>Connect to those you miss by sinking into a voice to voice call or a hand-written note… </p>
<p>…and so forth. </p>
<p>Uncomplicated actions such as these can make quite a difference in regulating our body’s flow of inhalation and exhalation. What might you do to catch your breath these days? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6522710
2021-01-16T10:20:43-06:00
2021-01-16T10:20:43-06:00
Consequences
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/43cbfd7c24a0d9c09e20a3be52ee1780802ae5d5/original/michal-parzuchowski-ryxtitxb4oy-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />If a petulant child throws a fit and disrupts the big family dinner, kicking and screaming, breaking dishes and so forth… and the parents pull him aside to discipline him… would you say that the parents are dividing the family? Or would you say it's actually in the best interest of the family to stop the bad behavior from continuing? </p>
<p>Consequences are a necessary part of distinguishing what is acceptable from what is not. They are the natural results of one’s behavior — sometimes good, sometimes bad. </p>
<p>The ramifications of negative actions have the capability to teach us, and those around us, lessons we might not learn quite as well otherwise. And if we have any potential for wisdom, we’ll take whatever nugget of grace may be offered in such situations to grow, to take responsibility for our deeds, and to do better going forward. </p>
<p>As we move through this process, ultimately living our amends with sincerity, we have a chance of reuniting with those we have hurt. The petulant child gets to return to the table after he demonstrates he can behave properly at dinnertime. </p>
<p>When I hear elected officials declare that consequences aren’t necessary after a serious wrong has been done, I am dismayed. When I hear them say consequences will only divide our country more, I am baffled. It seems so obvious and simple to me that real unification is only attainable through accountability, reparation, and restoration. </p>
<p>While we cannot force anyone to deal with their consequences in a healthy way, we can take this time to recommit to our own awareness of such things. We can mature in our understanding of the ripple affect of each individual life. We can be quicker to clean up our own messes when we make them, seeking forgiveness and, if we are fortunate, the amazing gift of real reconciliation. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6517176
2021-01-09T13:27:36-06:00
2021-02-17T15:13:59-06:00
Reverence and Respect
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/077e3a6b79e0b696317a250989de822e4f421633/original/michele-orallo-tsb44hncrf4-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Throughout my life I have learned the value of setting some things apart as sacred. As a child in Catholic grade school I was taught reverence around religious places, things, and rituals. We genuflected toward the altar and tabernacle, for example, signifying a special space where we remembered the Last Supper and honored the presence of Christ. We knelt before statues of saints, not out of some kind of idolatry, but in honor of their lives of faith as we asked them to pray for us that we too may be committed to living the Gospel. </p>
<p>My parents reinforced the notion of reverence at home, teaching me to respect others with good manners and courtesies. I still recall how my dad insisted I call one of my volleyball coaches Mr. (Last Name) instead of using his first name like many of my teammates did. It's not that they were doing anything wrong, my dad just had the old-fashioned sense of distinguishing a grown-up in this way. And when it came to language, my mother asserted that I had a better vocabulary to draw from than the limited four-letter words I’d hear others say. The bottom line was that speech and conduct go together, and both matter. </p>
<p>Whether it was delicately using fancy dishes that marked a unique occasion, or walking through a graveyard with care so as to not trample over one’s resting place, the lessons about reverence and respect that I learned growing up can be summarized in two words: awareness and consideration. All of us are asked, in both little and big ways, to pay attention to one another’s dignity and the symbols of meaning that surround us. I am not always as aware or considerate as I would like to be, and sometimes I’m flat out ignorant until further educated, but I am grateful to have a foundation to draw on when aiming to practice these principles. </p>
<p>It can be agonizing and even dangerous to be in the presence of someone who has not learned how to handle precious things, especially another’s heart. When we don’t know how — or we’ve forgotten how — to regard something with reverence and respect, we risk valuing nothing. And from there it is so easy for destruction and tragedy to follow. </p>
<p>In light of the recent domestic terrorist attack on our nation’s capital, let us bolster our awareness and consideration to new levels. In 2021 let us model for one another what it means to have reverence and respect as a part of our everyday behavior, reserving our greatest esteem for each other’s very existence. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6510637
2020-12-30T22:41:11-06:00
2020-12-30T22:41:11-06:00
Addressing Blind Spots
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/67834ddb0c25d86d3f5416c7308d57bcbf5b9544/original/jonathan-borba-3qhsmaxsw3g-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I am fascinated by blind spots. Not the physical inability to see something, but the psychological unconsciousness that holds hostage our shadow sides — the aspects of ourselves we find antithetical to who we consider ourselves to be or how want to be regarded. This pocket of denial is a very curious thing to me. </p>
<p>We all have blinds spots, not only about ourselves, but also about the people we love, the tribes with whom we align, and the ways in which we perceive the world around us. For all of the amazing capabilities our beautiful minds have, how is it that there are things we simply cannot see or won’t accept? Why do we block or suppress certain parts? </p>
<p>Have you ever met a bright scholar who cannot seem to access her intellect on certain common sense topics? Or a compassionate minister who snaps coldly at his spouse, with no awareness that he’s shocked the company around him, and then just as quickly picks up warm conversation with others as though nothing happened? What about the parent who yells with impatience at her child for not being patient, completely oblivious to the mixed messaging? </p>
<p>It doesn’t take much to wed ourselves to a narrative that serves the ego’s interest or makes circumstances more palatable. If it enhances our identities and diminishes our fears, we climb aboard and shut down our brains from taking an honest inventory of the situation or relationship. We don’t want to look at the bad — the arrogance, the selfishness, the rage, the jealousy, the desire for power, the waste, the laziness… the messiah or martyr complexes… the shame and vulnerability — because it scares us. After all, if you see something undesirable then what? Then you have to do something about it. Many would rather bypass spiritual development than face that fact that we are messy, broken people with evolutionary work to do. </p>
<p>But maybe as this New Year approaches we can find a moment of courage to get real with ourselves and address some of our blind spots. Maybe we can accept the invitation a fresh year brings to grow into a better version of ourselves. Maybe we can become just curious enough to know if our vision could improve and what a difference that clarity might make in the quality of our lives. </p>
<p>A few questions to get that ball rolling: </p>
<p>How closely does your interior (how you treat the people closest to you) match your exterior (how you treat strangers)? </p>
<p>If you were to ask the people with whom you interact the most what your blind spots are, what might they say? </p>
<p>What treasures might you find if you could bring even just one blind spot into the Light for healing this New Year? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6506377
2020-12-23T13:45:05-06:00
2021-11-03T03:06:29-06:00
God With Us
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/6a4b61967e49c67d503e48808f1c5e42ad7bc174/original/s-b-vonlanthen-ipubtly7ji0-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Over the past few months part of my prayer time has been spent recognizing the ways God lives in me and the ways I live in God. What do I mean by that? Simply put, if God is Love, then the prayer becomes an inquiry of where does Love live in me and where do I live in Love. </p>
<p>Part one is about the inner world, recognizing the Love that freely abides inside each of us. All we have to do is receive it. Part two is about the outer world, recognizing this same Love is not exclusive, rather it is alive and available everywhere around us. All we have to do is wake up to see it. </p>
<p>The Love within and surrounding us warmly beckons us ongoing to align with it. When we do, we experience the miracle of Christmas, that God is indeed with us. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6503494
2020-12-19T10:36:35-06:00
2020-12-19T10:36:35-06:00
It All Goes Back to Love
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/48b9943aa9a0645e792778aab020d98c9529be2a/original/kari-shea-desrxj28ns-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Yesterday some colleagues and I were sharing our family traditions surrounding the holidays. It was very nice to reflect upon all the little and big things we do to mark this time as extra special. After the sharing concluded I had the simple realization that it all goes back to love... the giving, the receiving, the experiencing of love. </p>
<p>Why do I put the the same old Christmas towels out every December… because they remind me of many Christmases growing up when our home was transformed into a holiday haven — a place I felt deeply loved. </p>
<p>Why do I bake and frost the cut-out cookies with my daughters… because it reminds me of my mother doing so with me — a relationship in which I felt treasured. </p>
<p>Why do I send my nephew a different snowflake ornament every year… because I want to remind him that, like a snowflake where no two are ever the same, he too is unique and amazing — I want him to feel cherished. </p>
<p>As a person raised in the Roman Catholic tradition, I have an appreciation for ritual and symbol, for using the physical to signify and stimulate the spiritual. </p>
<p>I value the awakening of the five senses. For example, this time of year I especially enjoy seeing a candle flicker… hearing the sound of a Christmas hymn… smelling pine needles from an evergreen… feeling the touch of a warm, fuzzy blanket… and the taste of a dutch almond pastry. </p>
<p>Our senses remind us that we are alive in this moment in time. We are people, after all, mammals who live in a human body. We depend upon the material world for our habitat and sustenance. Yet beyond meeting our basic needs, as corporeal creatures we have a way of relating to one another through the tangible. We take pleasure in sharing comforts, cards, presents, and customs with one another because it expresses something meaningful in fixed form, something that marks love is shared here. </p>
<p>Materialism for materialism’s sake is no good. But it is a beautiful thing when our material world is a reflection of love manifested. To give a gift that brings a bit of the heart along with it is a blessing to savor indeed. </p>
<p>This holiday season, let’s keep in mind how it all goes back to love. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6497928
2020-12-12T11:22:43-06:00
2020-12-12T11:22:43-06:00
The Why
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/d955da2f7bc4f6690af07aba5061b85a96c69aba/original/tim-mossholder-zqdumutan-w-unsplash.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The term Advent can be traced back to Latin, and it means “arrival, appearance,” and “to come.” For me, Advent brings to mind the discipline of waiting for that which is on its way. And what exactly are we waiting for? The obvious answer to many is the birth of Christ, and indeed that is the pinnacle, but let’s explore a bit beyond that headline. </p>
<p>May I suggest that, perhaps, beneath the bliss of the beautiful story of God among us, we are waiting for the “Why.” </p>
<p>I’ve been reading Viktor Frankl’s "Man’s Search for Meaning" lately. In it he quotes the German philosopher Nietzche’s words: “He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.” That thought strikes me profoundly as I ask of myself and one another: What is your Why? </p>
<p>It seems to me that our “Whys” in life need the soulful illumination that comes with God’s communion with us — that incredible Light-of-the-World-connection we celebrate at the end of Advent. I think we need such Light to help us see our Whys, to live with meaning and purpose. </p>
<p>As a spiritual practice, Advent is about preparing our souls for the birth of this Light. So while you wait, why not explore your Whys. Maybe you will want to give some thought to those areas in your life that need to be pulled out of the shadows. Maybe you will want to consider the gifts that long to be born in and through you. Maybe you will want to ponder with whom you are to bask in the Light as you live your one precious life. </p>
<p>Whatever the Why, when it is discovered and blessed in such Holy Brilliance, we can trust that it is a calling worthwhile. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6492552
2020-12-05T15:56:32-06:00
2020-12-05T15:56:32-06:00
The Beauty of Boundaries
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/9b96d7668fd138393f32ea60f3377652fc118315/original/photo-1544393569-eb1568319eef.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />A boundary is something that marks limits and protects. Sometimes it’s a fence around one’s property. Sometimes it’s expressing a firm “no.” Sometimes it’s clarity about trust, or how one expects to be treated. </p>
<p>I have been reading about boundaries lately, from a few sources. I am reminded of how valuable they can be when used wisely. The key, however, is to realize that the duty of upholding a boundary lies squarely on the shoulders of the one who established it. </p>
<p>No one can make another respect his/her boundaries. Boundaries are not demands or a means to control someone else. Instead, they communicate what one will — or will not — do. And they only work when carried out. </p>
<p>If someone barges through a boundary you have set, you then have some new choices to consider. You can acquiesce, you can adjust your boundary if determined worthwhile, or you can allow the consequence of the boundary infringement to take its course — which may mean you walk away from the situation at hand or the person involved. You get to decide. </p>
<p>The beauty of boundaries is that they offer us freedom to take personal responsibility for our own lives. They provide a way of loving ourselves enough to make choices that promote our health and balance. And boundaries give us space to hold our energy for what really matters, that which is ours to do. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6486188
2020-11-26T10:00:05-06:00
2021-07-28T13:53:01-06:00
Count Your Blessings
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/a3a0096c789105b4c487d0aae8fea8a83c86f086/original/photo-1594631252845-29fc4cc8cde9.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />As I think of Thanksgiving this year, a lyric from my song “Heaven’s Gonna Heal My Sorrow” comes to mind. That lyric is: “I’ve lived long enough to know, you count your blessings when it hurts.” I think this lesson — to count one’s blessings even (and especially) when life feels unbearable — is something many people pick up along life's journey. It’s a way of surviving hard times by seeing the silver linings that come with the clouds. It’s a way of keeping perspective that as bad as a situation may be or seem, it almost always could be worse. It’s a way of advising our souls not to despair for indeed it is always darkest before the dawn. </p>
<p>Early in graduate school I was navigating compounded personal loss and went to see the campus minister for some guidance. She was a lovely and compassionate woman, with years of life experience. While I was hoping she would offer me some nugget of wisdom to latch on to, to help get me through the next stretch, she told me to just try to focus on one simple joy at a time, like a cup of tea. I felt a bit deflated. My heart was in pieces and I was supposed to find joy in tea? I didn’t feel capable of accessing joy, not to mention I didn’t even drink tea at the time. But I trusted her, because she had walked miles I hadn’t and I figured it couldn’t hurt to try. So there I was, hurting significantly and attempting to count my blessings. I’d make lists of anything that brought me comfort or peace and, yes, occasionally a moment of joy when I allowed myself to forget my misery. It seems that minister knew that when one is experiencing a deep brokenness, it’s enough to simply acknowledge the tea was pleasant… to find even the tiniest sliver of the day was good. This turned out to be exactly the wisdom I needed, a great reminder to me to try and be present to that which was going right, even when so much else was going wrong. </p>
<p>This Thanksgiving is undoubtedly very challenging for many people as we continue to press on through a global pandemic. The reasons are wide-ranging and the grieving is real. Yet it is my hope that in the midst of the suffering, chaos, and uncertainty of these times we can still find some, maybe even many, simple blessings to count… like the cup of tea I’m about to enjoy. Happy Thanksgiving! </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6482964
2020-11-21T14:38:49-06:00
2020-11-21T14:38:49-06:00
The Do-Over
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/4330dada80fb39de49e7725b267216d359b81169/original/photo-1445633629932-0029acc44e88.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Over the years I, like most people, have had my share of blunders. Some big, some small. There have been conversations wherein as soon as the words were out I wished I could suck them back into my mouth, or reactions that would have been better had I exercised a little more thought preceding them. </p>
<p>This past week I had one of these moments. I could see the mess spilling out before me. Thankfully I caught myself, however, and practiced something I learned a while ago — the do-over. I stopped, acknowledged my mistake, apologized, and hit the reboot button to start anew. I’m grateful to say things then shifted in a positive direction. </p>
<p>Merriam-Webster defines a do-over as “a new attempt or opportunity to do something after a previous attempt has been unsuccessful or unsatisfactory.” In my opinion, there are few situations that cannot be improved upon by a do-over. All it requires is awareness, humility, forgiveness, and a little creativity in reclaiming what’s been lost. </p>
<p>What a beautiful act of love the do-over can be as it demonstrates a willingness to try again. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6477042
2020-11-13T14:18:16-06:00
2020-11-13T14:18:16-06:00
Who We Really Are
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/bfded9db71cf4d08a2203ae76cae6ba6b1f654c4/original/photo-1578170659296-d7f92a0ba4b0.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Earlier this week I read something that basically said who we REALLY are lies somewhere between who OTHERS think we are and who WE think we are. That got me thinking. </p>
<p>For part one, “others” involves a wide range. </p>
<p>There are people who may be privy to our inner world (e.g. spiritual mentors, counselors, and soul-friendships) who know us in a way few do. </p>
<p>There are people who we have lived with (e.g. family of origin) or live with now (e.g. family nucleus, housemates) who know us in the way of every day actions. And, actions say things words never could. </p>
<p>There are people who know us as in-laws, friends, colleagues, neighbors, and so forth. The further we get from the personal, the easier it is to let others see only what we want them to see. </p>
<p>Mix what all of the “others” above have to say and see what parts are consistent. For example, does that friend from church think you’re the most generous person when your spouse can’t recall the last time you gave him anything but criticism? Would your boss and your child agree on your temperament? </p>
<p>Taken altogether, the common denominators derived from those who have an experience of us can reflect back some of who we really are. It’s worth contemplating. </p>
<p>Then there is part two, who we think we are. In order to be clear on this, we need to move past voices in our head that either berate or inflate us, past the ego that distorts the truth. </p>
<p>Perhaps in quiet reflection we can tap into the knowing, in our bones, that we are precious and have an innate goodness — the deposit of God’s love you might call it. At the same time, in that silent stillness, we can face our flaws and failures — the misuses of our freedoms. </p>
<p>Through a healthy examination of self we can get real about changes we need to make and where we are living well. </p>
<p>When assessed honestly, external feedback and internal awareness can merge to give us a fuller picture of who we really are. Hopefully we like what we see… but, if not, then we’ve at least identified where we need to put our attention next. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6471816
2020-11-06T18:09:26-06:00
2020-11-06T18:09:26-06:00
Change is the Only Constant
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/2da22f9a6ed35419b0ee9d49a59ca79b93078272/original/photo-1507100403890-47482dcd79e0.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Autumn in the Northern Hemisphere is a great reminder that life isn’t static. The green leaves turn to blazing colors that stun us before falling and crumpling into fertilizer. That fertilizer will settle under a forthcoming blanket of snow until the spring that follows. In due season all things change. </p>
<p>Whenever I’m in a difficult situation I try to remember that “this too shall pass.” Negative circumstances aren’t permanent because life offers us inevitable transitions. Birth, death, loss, gain, illness, healing, promotion, termination, disaster, generosity — the twists and turns are unending. Even the smallest shift can alter our situation. So, however bad a reality may be, I take comfort knowing that things will be different at some point. Grant it, that difference may not always be an immediate improvement, but at least it’s a change and, eventually, I believe it moves toward better… if not in my lifetime, perhaps for future generations… and, if nothing else, ultimately in the soul life of heaven. </p>
<p>I also try to keep in mind this same respect for inevitable change whenever times are good, so as to not take them for granted. The blissful, peaceful, and beautifully uneventful days of life are to be fully appreciated, for they also will give way to impermanence. Recognize and enjoy the gifts before you, before they depart. </p>
<p>And of course life is usually a mix all at once. Hard times come with graced moments, and lovely stretches can be sprinkled with challenges. Yet it is here among the ebb and flow of life that we get to choose our focus, while staying present to it all. We can savor the blessings and trust, when needed, that “change is the only constant in life,” as the ancient saying goes. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6466855
2020-10-30T13:19:51-06:00
2020-11-06T18:08:39-06:00
Be More Than a Bystander
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/932cfaf0570a9d450976cd619f4de2039823074b/original/photo-1541844053589-346841d0b34c.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />When I was in college, I made a friend who I thought was going to be a soul sister for life, let’s call her Brenda. Brenda had a longtime friend, we can call her Karla. We all got along really well and, with several other friends, decided to live together off campus. In the second half of our year as housemates Karla did something that significantly hurt both Brenda and me, albeit in different ways. Karla didn’t address the harm done and instead tried to divert the attention onto someone else. I was so disappointed, and in a roundabout way I confronted her. In hindsight I would handle it differently. Still, my hope at the time was that she might acknowledge the problem, we could talk about things, clear the air, apologize to one another, and move forward in what had been a great friendship. </p>
<p>Instead of taking responsibility for her actions, however, Karla started to bully me. I got the sense she was embarrassed about what she had done and, looking back, I suspect my calling her out on it just lit her shame on fire. It seemed she was determined to burn me right out of her life without any rational reflection on what a choice like that meant. </p>
<p>What hurt me even more was that Brenda, seeing Karla’s rage, decided she’d rather keep her longtime friend happy than challenge her to grow. So, Brenda essentially dropped me too. The rest of the housemates took this cue and went silent as Karla continued to treat me with hostility in our home. They were civil, and even nice when Karla wasn’t around, but it was clear that I was to be the casualty of Karla’s disgrace. Sadly, a situation that could have been key in developing relationship skills became a situation that diminished all involved. Thankfully I had other circles of friends to lean into, and I chose to learn from the heartrending situation about what true friendship means to me. </p>
<p>I haven’t thought about the situation with Brenda, Karla, and the girls in years and I forgave it long ago. But I chanced upon a photo of them, and it reminded me of the pain I felt back then… </p>
<p>It reminded me that a harm done to an individual is seriously amplified when others stand by and condone it with their silence. </p>
<p>It reminded me that there are certainly better ways to handle a difficult situation than to just watch it go up in flames. </p>
<p>It reminded me that when we know in our bones that something’s not right, not just, not decent, not kind, etc… we must respond in alignment with our values. </p>
<p>And it reminded me that character is built when we answer our own conscious rather than stay lock step with a tribe mentality that does not protect everyone’s dignity. </p>
<p>To tangibly reduce suffering in our world and increase hope and healing, we must be more than a bystander. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6462619
2020-10-24T14:06:20-06:00
2021-07-06T05:31:49-06:00
Addressing Cognitive Distortions
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/2cd2aeb6b083e7144178625d17f872630b456275/original/photo-1552422530-9b41dc72286b.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>A good friend of mine once shared how she was working on addressing cognitive distortions in her life. She is excellent at her job, gets amazing reviews and feedback, yet something in her doubts her performance on a regular basis. As she put it, too easily she will disqualify the good and dismiss all the evidence that demonstrates the truth — that she is in fact doing very well in her field. Simply put, cognitive distortions are a bad habit of exaggerated or irrational thoughts that usually lean negative. </p>
<p>The insights my friend shared, along with my own experiences and research, led me to put together the following process for working through cognitive distortions when they occur. It’s been a helpful tool for me, and useful when helping a loved one get out of that stuck place. </p>
<p>1) Take some deep breaths to settle the body down. </p>
<p>2) Define the problem. </p>
<p>3) Describe what you’re experiencing at this moment about the problem (emotional feelings, physical feelings)? </p>
<p>4) What are your thoughts about the problem that are causing you to suffer the feelings named above? (e.g. I’m a failure at XYZ, etc.) </p>
<p>5) Is there any evidence to support these thoughts and, if so, what is that evidence? </p>
<p>6) What evidence might there be to suggest that these thoughts are false? </p>
<p>7) How will it help you to believe these thoughts, and how will it hurt you? </p>
<p>8) What is a thought in the middle, between an all or nothing frame of mind, about this problem? (e.g. “I’m a failure at piano” vs. “I’m a perfect piano player”…the middle thought might be “I am decent at piano and I'm learning more every day.”) </p>
<p>9) Who can you ask about their experience with a similar situation, to remind yourself that you are not the only one who has ever felt this way? </p>
<p>10) What are some small steps you can take to move toward improving this situation? (e.g. “I can practice an extra 20 minutes a day.”) </p>
<p>11) What would you say to your best friend or loved one if they were in your position? </p>
<p>12) Ask the Holy Spirit to help guide you in truth. </p>
<p>The next time you find yourself or someone you care about suffering unnecessarily over an inaccurate perception of reality, perhaps you can take a moment to work through this process intentionally. It may take time to strengthen or develop these muscles of healthier thinking, but it will positively be worth your effort! </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6457615
2020-10-16T17:43:09-06:00
2020-10-16T17:43:09-06:00
The Book Being Written
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/c290c34607743aedd63f57e7bd891594980e7912/original/photo-1534040385115-33dcb3acba5b.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I’m a writer, and so it’s not unreasonable to think that one day I will publish a book. It’s on my list. And actually I have published four music albums, one EP, and a compilation. So I know a little something about revealing one’s self in a fixed form, for better or worse, albeit in small, roughly four-minute increments. Each song recorded carries a short story that typically tells you something about my life experience or my perspective. What more might I say in a memoir someday? </p>
<p>I think a lot of people have “the book they are going to write someday” circling somewhere in their mind. Every day there is another figurative entry into the first rough draft, if not literally. While we’re busy taking care of our responsibilities and answering to the expectations of society, we think one day… or, wouldn’t it be nice if I could. Whether it be writing a book or some other project of the soul, we have an inner knowing that whispers “remember this.” Why is that? </p>
<p>I suspect it has something to do with our divine design. We feel there is some culminating point wherein we can line up all the bits we’ve collected and then understand our lives better. It’s as if intuitively we know that, through all the seemingly zigzags of the journey, there has been a trajectory of sorts, ultimately pointing us in the direction of purpose. Behind the noise, something greater often seems to be at work in even the most ordinary expressions of living. That’s not to say that every event has been intended by God, rather that God is present throughout — within us and all around us — deriving meaning from it all. It’s that presence we seek, that holy witness which steps back and acknowledges, “See how it all comes together, and it is good.” </p>
<p>I also think our mental notes for the book being written show a desire in us to capture an inventory of our lives and contribute to others the lessons learned, experiences savored, and graces revealed. The hope being that it might make a positive difference. And if we can harvest all of our insights and put them into a book someday, then wonderful. But let us not wait until then… Somedays don’t always arrive, and your beautiful awareness and wisdom are needed now… to enhance our common adventure, to help us all evolve in love. </p>
<p>The book being written actually need not be composed or edited or sent to press or promoted to the masses. Just one piece of your story needs to be shared in the next conversation you have… and then another… Might you? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6453214
2020-10-10T15:12:30-06:00
2020-10-10T15:12:30-06:00
The Difference Between Good and Great
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/66b591bcfb075f6b9499906a44a7345ffd690b90/original/photo-1533950010229-7cbbe2f136d2.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I have had the privilege of being trusted with other people’s personal stories many times throughout my life. I assume that’s because I’m willing to be vulnerable with others myself, and I don’t hold back on asking questions in the inner chamber. I think it’s a beautiful thing when we can learn from one another’s experiences. Truth sets us free, after all. </p>
<p>When these conversations turn to partnership and parenting, it has occurred to me more than once that the difference between a good parent and a great parent, is how that parent treats their spouse (their children’s other parent). So often we hear, “She’s such a good mom!” or “He’s such a good dad!” Yet if one treats a co-parent poorly, you can stop the compliments right there in my opinion. They may be a good mom or dad, but they are not great. The great ones are attentive to their kids AND model loving kindness, respect, empathy, and forgiveness toward their spouse. Not only do the kiddos then benefit from a healthy home environment, but they also develop a standard by which they expect to be treated in their own relationships. Who would want anything less for their children. </p>
<p>Indeed, the difference between good and great is no small thing when it comes to the young lives entrusted to us. Let us do all we can to be the best influence possible. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6448636
2020-10-03T15:46:31-06:00
2020-10-03T15:46:31-06:00
Living With Contradictions
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/db322ea23a7ea8fe3c13a1f0cfb363d38ad575f6/original/photo-1509490927285-34bd4d057c88.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I care about the environment, yet I drive an SUV some of the time. </p>
<p>I am a vegetarian who sees no need to kill fellow mammals for human survival in modern life, yet I cooperate in feeding our daughters venison my husband gets on his annual hunting trip. </p>
<p>I consider myself a practicing Catholic, yet I challenge some major teachings of the Church, adhering to my conscience over the magisterium. </p>
<p>Contradictions — I live with them for sure. </p>
<p>If ever there is a time to see one another living with contradictions, it is during a presidential election year. Many of us are baffled and frustrated by the views others hold when they are not compatible with our own. I personally struggle to understand how some people I love take an approach of “the end justifies the means” in democracy. But, then, admittedly, I’m an independent who is critical of both major parties and isn’t fixated on a single policy. Rather, I try to sniff out virtue. Whoever my gut reads to be a more principled human being (note: not perfect) typically ends up getting my vote. Policies come second to decency for me because without confidence in one's ethics, what good is their word on what they promise. That said, I’m certain some people who respect me might be confused by my method for choosing leaders as much as I’m disturbed by theirs. </p>
<p>The incongruity I perceive in both myself and others causes me to marvel at how complex people are, how we can somehow compartmentalize aspects of ourselves. If, however, we aspire to living an integrated life — one of integrity — then we need to ask some big questions: </p>
<p>1) What are my values? </p>
<p>2) Why do I value what I do? </p>
<p>3) Who or what do my values affect? </p>
<p>4) Where do I have values that contradict one another? </p>
<p>5) How do I determine which value will take precedent when two or more clash? </p>
<p>6) What are the short-term consequences of choosing one value over another? </p>
<p>7) What are the long-term consequences of prioritizing a particular value? </p>
<p>8) What small step can I take to work toward synthesizing incompatible values, so as to live a more consistent life? </p>
<p>This process is both contemplative and active. We must seek out our blind spots and get honest about the limitations of our perspectives. We must also try earnestly to learn about how others experience our choices and find compassion for them and the world around us, aiming to consider it all. </p>
<p>The answers we get may not be satisfying and our discernment may not lead to total clarity, but I think character is built in the effort to choose wisely, to care enough to be invested and intentional. As the well-known Thomas Merton prayer says to God, “ the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you…” In other words, we may not always end up making the best decisions, but we sure ought to try. </p>
<p>Living with contradictions is part of the human experience. Nevertheless, let us do our part to narrow the gap between our said ideals and beliefs and our choices. We won’t get there overnight, but bit by bit we can move toward living a more genuine life. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6442774
2020-09-25T09:17:49-06:00
2020-09-25T09:17:49-06:00
Neither Invade Nor Abandon
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/1bb3af60c5a5d43418ab3927eaef21e7a25b1cc0/original/photo-1541544181051-e46607bc22a4.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The Center for Action and Contemplation offers daily meditations. In one from last week, contemplative practitioner and clinical psychologist, James Finley, wrote the following: </p>
<p>“When you risk sharing what hurts the most in the presence of someone who will not invade you or abandon you, you can discover within yourself what Jesus called the pearl of great price, your invincible preciousness in the midst of your fragility.” (<a contents="Read the whole piece at CAC" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://cac.org/a-mutual-vulnerability-2020-09-16/?utm_source=cm&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=dm&utm_content=summary&fbclid=IwAR3sT49ZfAInIQLGcbaeAMqo4LMFQWCvYalbE52hd_MmrIhrlesKKK18fO8">Read the whole piece at CAC</a>.).</p>
<p>When I read this, I immediately sent it to a few of my soul sisters who know exactly what it means to not invade or abandon one another, and I thanked them for such rich friendship. Among these women, daring to be vulnerable is a badge of honor and, quite frankly, no other way of living seems to make much sense. In fact, in this circle we seem to intuitively know that vulnerability is the ultimate source of meaningful transformation. Leaning into this truth empowers us to live courageously, joyfully, and with purpose. </p>
<p>Yet too often in many of our relationships one person (usually subconsciously) tries to have control over the other, a conversation, or a situation, using tactics of invading or abandoning. Invading is when we barge into another’s psychic space and assume we know what they think and feel or what they should do. Abandoning is when we flee from someone, perhaps in disapproval, discomfort, or ignorance, and thus fail to offer any compassion. These two modes of domination— to intrude or cast aside — are extremes that critically damage a relationship or thwart the potential for one altogether. </p>
<p>When we fail to grant another the dignity of their own experience we miss beautiful opportunities for true connection. </p>
<p>Who in your life honors your invincible preciousness by being present in way that neither invades nor abandons you? And who might you handle with such tender, loving care as well? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6438383
2020-09-19T17:24:22-06:00
2020-09-19T17:31:12-06:00
My Force Field
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/17471490ad1d4b7aedbc849b6b56e6f96ac40741/original/photo-1518199266791-5375a83190b7.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The other day my children were watching a riveting episode of “My Little Pony,” in which Princess Cadance (an alicorn pony) had to generate a force field through her horn to protect the village from a dysfunctional pony. It made me wonder, how can I protect myself and those I love when presented with the harmful behavior of another, or even just negativity in general? Do I have a force field I can deploy when needed? </p>
<p>Upon reflection, I realized lately I have been doing something along these lines to fortify myself and my influence, though not through a magic horn. Several days a week I take a twenty minute prayer walk, typically in the morning. I try to intentionally set the tone of my day and, I suppose you could say, put a protective force field around myself. </p>
<p>I start by acknowledging God‘s presence inside and all around me. Then I have a five step routine wherein I make my petitions known, count my blessings, recall times I have been supported by grace, enter into joyful anticipation of the good things yet to come, and reconnect with what is genuine about my life. </p>
<p>This force field doesn’t keep me from encountering hardships, but it does help me stay anchored — in the truth of my own experience and in a balanced perspective when challenges occur. Also, perhaps most importantly, when I take time to ground myself in this way I am reminded that I am a child of the Creator, begotten of Love — both worthy of it and capable of it. In short, I guess you could say that this Innovative Love is my force field. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6431978
2020-09-12T07:50:16-06:00
2020-09-12T07:50:16-06:00
A Graced Decision
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/96037ee9b07306e3078c97c9e65b0bc1ef03c743/original/photo-1475938476802-32a7e851dad1.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The other day I was talking to a mentor of mine about decisions. Often when a choice comes before us in life we have a gut response about what to do. When that choice is tacos or pizza, a quick selection isn’t too consequential. But what if the choice affects you in a significant way, or another, or many others? What if the choice is going to lead you down a path that changes things, perhaps everything? This is where real discernment comes into play. Though it’s common to have a knee-jerk reaction to a given situation, if we are to pair our actions with wisdom we must slow down and get intentional about the matter. </p>
<p>Sometimes after a discernment process we find that our instincts were on the mark from the get-go. It may then feel like the time spent discerning was a waste, since we already knew down deep what we needed to do. Yet as my mentor said, “The same decision becomes a graced decision because of the discernment.” When we take time to meet with the situation in prayer… to synthesize our understanding with the candor of trusted friends… to open our minds to be changed… it is then that we honor the decision before us. We honor the One who has entrusted us with the power to choose. We honor ourselves and those who will be impacted by the choice. It needn’t be a long, arduous process, but it must be a conscious one. </p>
<p>When we help a decision become a graced decision we also discover what is immovable in us. We reinforce our voice, dispel the shadows, and pick up what is ours to do… without fear and without regret. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6425872
2020-09-05T10:26:41-06:00
2020-09-05T10:28:37-06:00
Our Story Goes On
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/e977bc0550d8b9f8bf2672e91db9cbbe9f9ed405/original/photo-1445090909078-0217954421ec.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />This week I lost someone who meant a lot to me. She had been dealing with cancer for several years and did quite well to survive and thrive despite the hardships. It was a terminal prognosis however, and recently we learned her remaining time would likely be measured in months. Yet even with the anticipation of death, it was a shock to get that phone call saying her life on earth had come to a close. And it has always been a shock to me, every time I’ve lost someone I loved, no matter how much their body had declined and the end was clearly in sight. </p>
<p>I remember how a philosophy teacher I had in graduate school explained to the class that human history is full of civilizations who conducted deliberate burial rituals. People would bless the dying and prepare the deceased for eternal life, much like we still do today in one way or another. What this suggests is that there is something deep within us that knows physical death on earth is not the end but a passageway to something else. We have instinctively known throughout the ages that somehow our story goes on. </p>
<p>This is why I think our experience of death can be so shocking. Death appears final to the mind, which witnesses a direct change of the physical. Meanwhile the soul intuitively feels a perpetual nature residing in all of us and thus rejects any perception of finality. It can be confusing as we adjust to the material absence of one we love, but eventually Spirit confirms to us again and again — in a moment from nature, in a dream with a message, in a feeling of unseen companionship, etc. — that there is something beyond this experience. Indeed, our story goes on. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6418495
2020-08-27T10:40:37-06:00
2020-08-27T10:40:37-06:00
Two Kinds of Power
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/4fc3bcd1ca58d58834d5b626dd7bc83318497540/original/photo-1597119275334-359a0ccb6ae4.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I’ve heard it said that there are two kinds of power, the kind that comes from within our spirit and the kind that comes from our ego. The power from within values life, sees others as equal, and welcomes opportunities for collaboration and compromise. The power from the ego values dominance, sees others in a pecking order, and gages threats to one’s status with each interaction. We all can have moments of using each kind of power, but if you look at a person’s life you’ll typically see one kind of power usage prevailing. </p>
<p>If you live mostly out of the power from within, you’re likely to feel a strong discord when interacting with someone whose power mode is that of the ego. Yet because you’re inclined to be a peacemaker and to see others as the Spirit sees them, you may still make room for this person in your life. That comes with a cost, however, and one needs to keep firm boundaries to manage such relationships in a healthy way. </p>
<p>If you live mostly out of the power from the ego, you’re simply not tuned in to anyone else from a feelings standpoint. The strong self-focus in this power system results in indifference toward others beyond what they can do to boost your perception of self. And if you are not permitted to exercise power over another you will simply create a false narrative to diminish them. In the end, the goal is to protect you from feeling vulnerable. But it’s a false sense of protection because the sad reality is that people who glean their sense of power from the ego miss the best parts of life, real intimacy. </p>
<p>Can one move from ego power to authentic power? Only if they choose to become very honest with themselves — about their wounds and fears, offenses and shame, hopes and dreams. Those with entrenched, harmful patterns may require a “bottoming out” experience to crack them open, to ignite a radical conversion. And in order for that breakthrough to hold, daily inner work is required — to intentionally love undefended. </p>
<p>Anyone who has ever made such a leap between the two kinds of power will tell you emphatically it was worth it. Embracing the power from within is what makes us come alive, aligns us with our Creator, and ensures that we really live life to the fullest in relationship with one another and the world around us. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6415244
2020-08-22T18:33:22-06:00
2020-08-22T18:33:22-06:00
Waiving Entitlement
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/94c3fa92f708ff8bed3238fa5c9236fc9b99674a/original/photo-1500904156668-758cff89dcff.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />There is a couple I know. I’ll call them Jake and Francine. Several years, and a few children into their marriage, Francine had a major indiscretion. She was remorseful, worked hard to make amends, and Jake truly forgave her. They made a lot of effort to heal their relationship and grow, when Francine had a relapse in poor judgement. Her actions radically harmed the trust they had rebuilt. It was a different kind of transgression from the first time around. The sense of compounded betrayals was overwhelming. It was almost as if Francine’s broken pieces were determined one way or another to sabotage all the good in her life. </p>
<p>While I was shocked to hear what poor Jake was going through, what was even more surprising was that he was willing to stay together and keep trying. I’ll never forget how he asserted to me, however, that he was completely entitled to leave Francine. No one could fault him if he chose to part ways. Most people would have, and perhaps that would be the better path for him. Yet, somehow, he believed in her goodness more than her sinfulness. His decision wasn’t passive, it wasn’t about letting himself be a victim. Rather his choice was more along the lines of active, ongoing forgiveness. </p>
<p>Author Bryan Stevenson writes in his book, <em>Just Mercy</em>, that “Mercy is most empowering, liberating and transformative when it is directed at the undeserving. The people who haven’t earned it, who haven’t even sought it, are the most meaningful recipients of our compassion.” This mindset of clearly knowing one is more than justified to retaliate, punish, or abandon another but instead chooses to relinquish that right is astounding. Waiving entitlement in this way takes tremendous courage, a bold faith, and deep trust — not in the person who has harmed you, but in the power of forgiveness. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6410305
2020-08-15T14:39:43-06:00
2020-08-22T18:33:49-06:00
Grounded in Compassion
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/f86493460e4d640e1ca760216e58e78a10f7a0a5/original/photo-1588130739798-136cb52da55c.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Author and founder of <a contents="Compassion Power" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://compassionpower.com">Compassion Power</a>, Steven Stosny, Ph.D., teaches that the root cause of abuse is a “failure of compassion.” This is also what plagues the discourse of taboo topics such as politics and religion. When we cling too tightly to a position we’ve held, there is no way we can abandon our egos long enough to enter into another’s experience and perception. Failure of compassion is what causes our interpersonal conflicts to be reduced to hostility and defensiveness. In an attempt to have power over another, to be right, to quell our own inner insecurities, we end up forgoing our humanity. And yet, respectfully considering someone else's perspective is exactly what we must do if we want to grow in our relationships and in community with one another. </p>
<p>True humility is is required to openly regard the merits of each other's opinions and preferences. We must work to foster the ability to at least attempt seeing a situation from a point of view that is not our own. This means taking into account all that shapes the other human being/s involved — their experiences of love, success, support, relationships… fear, hardship, trauma, loss… and everything in between that influences one’s life. Every effect has a cause, even if we cannot see it outright. </p>
<p>Recently I read the bestselling book, <em><a contents="Just Mercy" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://justmercy.eji.org">Just Mercy</a>,</em> by Bryon Stevenson. It’s described as “An unforgettable true story about the potential for mercy to redeem us, and a clarion call to end mass incarceration in America — from one of the most inspiring lawyers of our time.” I will add that I found it to be an extraordinary memoir with the capacity to transform each reader. I have been so moved by this book and specifically the way Stevenson models the kind of emotional maturity mentioned above — the ability to lead with compassion. How hard that is to do within our own families, let alone toward people society has forgotten or thrown away. Not only is Stevenson’s life an incredibly beautiful way of living and loving, he also reveals how tremendous power can unfold when someone is authentically rooted in such solid ground, the ground of compassion. </p>
<p>All of this begs the questions: where in my life am I grounded in compassion and where might I need to dig deeper? How about you? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6405276
2020-08-08T09:34:39-06:00
2020-08-08T09:34:39-06:00
To Begin Again
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/b8a80ce6bc5a1df39cc83f5d5f43fa06ec55666a/original/photo-1473625247510-8ceb1760943f.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />This past week I concluded one trip around the sun and started another. Often when I roll into a new year of life I look for ways to begin again, to hit the reset button on living from my core values and how they play out in tangible ways. It’s a chance to recommit to that which is working, unfasten that which is not, and birth any newness beckoning. </p>
<p>Amidst our global pandemic, this year’s birthday ritual is a bit more challenging for me. Life hasn’t had the usual markers of time to which many of us are accustomed. Certain points of progress that normally span 365 days seem somewhat nondescript. There are many moving parts fading in and out, laden with uncertainty. </p>
<p>But there is an invitation here too, in the less structured openness and chaos we’re all encountering. We have the opportunity to create something new — a new way of being… a new set of skills to evolve… a new practice of present moment contentedness to embrace… and certainly new methods for expressing love and compassion. We are being summoned to live into the answers of our current reality with courage, hope, and ingenuity. I aim to welcome these unique opportunities for growth as I gear up to begin again. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6397383
2020-07-30T10:29:34-06:00
2021-08-02T14:28:18-06:00
From Heart to Head
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/897727088b7f2be8734ecfdaad962adc14663a13/original/photo-1590927786204-2357aabfd14e.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The other day I was talking with a dear friend and we each shared about the hard pieces in our lives. As she let some tears flow, she asked me how I kept from crying when I was sharing prior to her. I reminded her that I certainly have my moments of crying, but that after a while I’ve somewhat moved this hard piece in my life from the heart space to the head space. In other words, I’ve grieved the pain of it. Now it’s something I’m aware of in my mind, and still deal with responsibly, but it no longer dominates my emotions as much as it once did. </p>
<p>Such is the path through tough situations, it seems. First our hearts are pierced and we feel that anguish around every corner. Then, eventually, we find a way to release the sorrow and let the event, relationship, circumstance, or whatever the problem is, to just be. It’s simply a part of the story. It may be a long and arduous chapter that brought us to our knees, but it is still only one chapter in a long book of our lives. </p>
<p>Sometimes I find it helpful to be intentional about declaring an end to the processing, mourning, or discerning of a difficult matter when the time comes. In doing so I can choose to move the issue from heart to head so as to free up room in the center of my being for something nourishing to enter. So often when we do make a shift like that, we welcome more blessings that have been there all along, just waiting for us to rejoice in them. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6392572
2020-07-24T18:57:38-06:00
2020-07-24T18:57:38-06:00
Women Helping Women
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/7146d1c8ceafcf057366d6ad163926345d7f5fd0/original/photo-1587664289285-e6fb47cbe370.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Some years ago I was in a very complicated, vulnerable situation and needed support to discern my next steps. A dear friend of mine was trying to help me foster connections that could bolster me as I found my way. She lined up a lunch with one of her friends, so that the three of us could meet for this purpose. I was struck by how my friend described this woman to me — as someone who believes in “women helping women.” If I’d ever heard that phrase before it never struck me quite like it did then. As the conversation among the three of us unfolded, it became more evident to me just what those words meant. They both saw the dynamic of my situation with a clarity I did not yet have, the part of my story that was colored by cultural conditioning and the disparity between how men and women are treated in society. These two ladies extended a lifeline to me that day, both with their rich understanding and with their practical advice for empowerment. The value of “women helping women” has stayed with me ever since. </p>
<p>I’ve been a late bloomer in realizing all the ways in which women are not treated equally to men, all the ways I have limited myself based on how I saw women defined or excluded. It wasn’t until I was a young adult, with experiences that awoke me, that I started to see the impact of things, such as… </p>
<p>...how destructively sexual harassment can play out in a woman’s life and career… how women don’t report sexual violence because too often they will be dragged through the mud of re-victimization… that women will stay in abusive situations (be it physical or emotional) because the courts cannot protect them or their children from the abuser should they try to leave… </p>
<p>...how pay inequity based on gender is very real… that too many women who work in the home as a caretaker of children are not valued for contributing equally to the family economy (though of course they do)…that too many women who work outside of the home are expected to still do the bulk of domestic duties… </p>
<p>...that women have been left out of positions such as the R.C. priesthood, while the majority of programs that sustain any given parish are largely staffed by women… that, despite all the capable and amazing women in our country, we've never had a female president or even vice president… that when little girls don’t see women in positions of power they have a hard time trusting women in power (e.g. won’t use a woman doctor) or envisioning themselves in such roles of leadership and thus aim lower than their potential… and so on. </p>
<p>In other words, sexism is real. Sure, many good men have helped women rise to their rightful place at the table. Many good men have joined with women seeking progress, and that is necessary and appreciated. Yet more often I’ve experienced — as I did when having that lunch with my friend and her friend — that the one to help you most with a problem is the one who can relate because they are on the same journey. It’s like any movement in history, where the greatest change happened from mistreated individuals deciding to stand together and, in doing so, empowered one another. </p>
<p>I continue to learn the value of “women helping women” as the blessing of this incredible solidarity impacts my life for the better time and time again. Gratitude fills my heart over the many wise, courageous, and strong women who have gone before us, as well as the many with whom I have the privilege to travel now. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6386608
2020-07-17T16:10:28-06:00
2020-07-17T16:10:28-06:00
Personal Freedom and Communal Responsibility
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/02e6fa2906cd86b8722e93486289525f1a009ffe/original/photo-1589939287589-ab6fa1ddc632.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />All throughout our lives we learn how to get along with others who don’t see things the way we do. We might be taught to “agree to disagree,” or to “live and let live,” or to simply avoid topics that stir up discord. Yet what about the times when someone’s view translates into a behavior that actually affects us in a serious way? For example, one’s choice to drink and drive — society has tried to find ways to handle such things. There are laws and ramifications in place to protect one another, albeit imperfectly, when people make irresponsible or even reckless decisions. </p>
<p>The recent controversy regarding how to go about living in a pandemic reality, such as whether or not to social distance or wear a mask in public, is front and center right now. Covid-19 cases are mounting and many anticipate a challenging fall in the USA. A lot of judgement gets thrown around in times of stress, much of it having to do with this question: Where is the line between personal freedom and communal responsibility? </p>
<p>It seems to me that we each have to calculate our own risks when it comes to our personal choices, the decisions that affect us privately. Yet this too is a slippery slope. I can think that my choice to not social distance with someone is simply between them and me, and if we’re okay with it why should anyone else care. But if I get sick then my choice now affects others as I seek medical treatment and expose every person near me on my path to hoped-for recovery. On the flip side, however, we hear of the negative impact social distancing is having on people’s mental health. In these situations, when weighing the pros and cons, one may determine that the benefit of physical connection outweighs the cost of possible exposure. I can respect the tension of these thoughtful decisions. </p>
<p>What troubles me is not so much the personal navigation of this strange time, with varied nuances of preferences, but the intolerance and condemnation by some over societal boundaries put in place for common welfare. Sadly, the value of looking out for the most vulnerable seems to get lost in skepticism, chaos, and inconvenience. </p>
<p>Wearing a mask in public doesn’t infringe upon my personal freedom, rather it is a demonstration of my respect and care for others. It’s a discipline akin to any other guideline for the safety and courtesy of all, such as not smoking in public, stopping at red lights, not going to the bathroom in a parking lot, or blasting music at 2AM. Much of what we do in community is for the consideration of others. </p>
<p>At the end of the day, I don't want to be the kid who makes the whole class stay after and miss recess. In other words, I think the more I cooperate now with the directives from healthcare and scientific professionals in the trenches, the quicker we can get through this ordeal. Personal freedom, yes. Communal responsibility, yes. I believe both can be honored respectfully. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6381885
2020-07-10T08:31:32-06:00
2020-07-10T08:31:32-06:00
Be and Love Being
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/b0d04eb3ef2574098bde8726d928032d877d2ac2/original/photo-1518495973542-4542c06a5843.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I often read from an Al-Anon book called “Courage to Change,” which has daily reflections of insight and encouragement. In one of the messages for this week, a writer (anonymous) shared how nature is a great role model for staying present to today, saying, “Trees don’t sit around and worry about forest fires.” How true that is! It reminds me also of something a Religious Sister I once worked with said of the trees, “All they have to do is give glory to God.” </p>
<p>Isn’t that how we long to live, in the now and full of glory?! Sometimes it helps to be reminded that each of us is an expression of beauty, created by the Loving Artist of all. And as a philosophy teacher of mine would say, every piece of art reflects something about the Artist. Look at the gallery of this planet alone — oh the many aspects we can learn about God! </p>
<p>Like each sunrise and sunset and all the fascinating wonders of the world, sometimes all we need to do is be and love being… love our lives just as they are. Glory follows effortlessly from there. </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6375768
2020-07-04T08:36:13-06:00
2020-07-04T08:36:13-06:00
Empathy is Essential
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/97634211306f3ea2286eefb4344fdb4d15dd2475/original/photo-1451471016731-e963a8588be8.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Empathy: “The capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position.” (Wikipedia) Empathy comes in different forms — emotional (appropriate responses to others’ feelings), cognitive (ability to understand another’s perspective), and somatic (a physical reaction to what someone else is going through). You might have experienced all or some combination of these in various situations in life. But what if you struggle to understand what someone else is feeling, or worse, you come up empty on even caring about another’s position? This disability makes for a huge void in relationships and limits just how close two can ever be. For a mutual, meaningful relationship of connection, empathy is essential. </p>
<p>What does lack of empathy look like? Low emotional intelligence, chronic focus on self, lack of willingness to compromise, poor listening, indifference to another’s pain, refusal to make room for other viewpoints, unforgiving, opinionated with extreme defensiveness, highly critical of others even about simple human errors, and not taking responsibility for hurting another but instead blames the person harmed. </p>
<p>Empathy is both innate and learned as a social survival skill. So what causes certain people to lose it or seem to miss it altogether? How one’s brain is “wired” can certainly play a part, but for many the loss begins when attachment needs are not met by an early caregiver. The relationship between child and parent makes a huge difference in developing emotionally. A parent who is distant, self-absorbed, inconsistent, unresponsive, insensitive and avoids feelings can lead to children who shut down their emotions early on as a coping strategy. Before you know it, that child has grown into an adult lacking empathy, who lives out a pattern of pushing vulnerability away at all costs. And without vulnerability, you don’t have the closeness required to form a secure attachment to another human being. </p>
<p>Is there hope for those who lack empathy to learn it and thus enhance their relationships? According to psychotherapist Diane Poole Heller, PhD, “The journey of healing your attachment wounds requires a fearless investigation into the roots of your shame. It takes an unwavering faith in your ability to love and be loved, to shift your allegiance from rupture to wholeness, and to embrace the perfection of your own heart.” I think sure, it is possible, but one has to be willing to do the deliberate, inner work required. There is no shortcut to having an emotionally intimate relationship with another human being: empathy is essential. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6367843
2020-06-26T18:11:16-06:00
2020-06-26T18:11:16-06:00
Awareness of the Sacred
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/17872be39f89c1da400e656a0e3bf695b911ecb0/original/photo-1487101547033-bc92f62ff008.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Currently I’m reading, among several other books, “The Universal Christ,” by Richard Rohr. In it, he distinguishes from the historical person of Jesus and the concept of Christ, which Rohr establishes as God incarnate in everything throughout all time — a creative, loving, cosmic outpouring of Spirit into material form. Thus, Jesus together with Christ gave us (and gives us) a window into God and a sacred awareness that God dwells within us too. </p>
<p>To open his book, Rohr quotes a 20th century English mystic, Caryll Houselander, who described a spiritual experience she had when recognizing Christ all around her. She wrote, “I saw too the reverence that everyone must have for a sinner; instead of condoning his sin, which is in reality his utmost sorrow, one must comfort Christ who is suffering in him. And this reverence must be paid even to those sinners whose souls seem to be dead, because it is Christ, who is the life of the soul, who is dead in them; they are His tombs, and Christ in the tomb is potentially the risen Christ…” </p>
<p>Wow. What a challenge. It’s far easier for me to succumb to all or nothing thinking, putting those I find difficult or mean into a “lost cause” category. But how do we comfort Christ who is suffering in another whose actions are loathsome and harmful? How do we reverence the sinner when their sins overwhelm us? </p>
<p>We can choose to remember their innate sacredness, however stomped out it appears to be, and hold space for it. We can remember their sin is their sorrow, even if they will never be able to articulate that in this lifetime. We can remember that though they may meet their death having never lived out their holiness, Christ will be liberated one way or another to love again. </p>
<p>It does not mean we accept bad behavior and irresponsibility from another. It doesn’t even mean to me that we hold out hope for one’s capacity to really change. Instead, perhaps it means we metaphorically light a candle of vigilance in the innermost chamber of our heart to acknowledge that this person too started out as an offspring of Divine Creation, though they seem to have forgotten who they really are. That “light” we offer to the Christ in them, locked in their tomb, to reverence the sacredness present still and the grace that is to come, though we may not experience it in this lifetime. </p>
<p>When we remember another’s sacredness, we bring to mind our own as well. And, with that, we might come to see the ways in which Christ longs for a fuller expression in us too. </p>
<p>This is the work between souls and Source. This is the work of aligning one’s true self with another’s true self, if only in Spirit. This is the work of prayer. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6360489
2020-06-20T11:36:35-06:00
2020-06-30T21:03:13-06:00
Agent of Change
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/96f1ad93c8ff0643727f83bb6b96235f5e6d7986/original/photo-1592508986172-f684374bd182.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />This time of year, when the sun is hot and warm breezes sway the trees, I am reminded of a particular June I lived in 2006. I distinctly remember being at a cemetery, walking across the open field, to pick out the plot that would be where we laid my dear dad to rest in a matter of days. It’s a strange feeling, anticipating death, knowing there’s nothing you can really do about it. It had been a long goodbye, as cancer escorted my dad to the door of eternal life. I am not fond of terminal illness at all, but there is a blessing in getting the chance to be with someone as they journey into heaven. Three times in my life thus far I’ve had the honor to be present in this way to a loved one. </p>
<p>Death is shocking enough as it is, even when anticipated. I cannot imagine the nightmare of getting an unexpected phone call that announces a loved one has died suddenly. One step further into that nightmare is learning that it was due to a senseless act of violence or a murder by way of poor judgement, panic, ignorance, and even hate. One more horrific step is to learn it was because of the color of their skin. Many African Americans live in this chronic trauma daily, either grieving such a loss or fearing this sudden devastation could happen to them or someone they love. </p>
<p>The very real problems of systemic racism were not built overnight by a percentage of malignant police officers. It developed over centuries by the greed, indifference, and exploitative behavior on the part of citizens occupying this nation — lawmakers, voters, sailors, farmers, investors, judges, attorneys, clergy, educators, and everyday people in privilege looking the other way, to name just some. In other words, countless have played the role of oppressor, knowingly or unknowingly. </p>
<p>On her website, regarding “Race Relations & Reconciliation,” author and political activist, Marianne Williamson, explains this gross history succinctly (See: <a contents="https://www.mariannenow.com/issues/racial-reconciliation-and-healing" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.mariannenow.com/issues/racial-reconciliation-and-healing">https://www.mariannenow.com/issues/racial-reconciliation-and-healing</a>). She asserts, “America’s fundamental race problem is a moral issue.” While our country has made some amends over time, there is a long way yet to go to address the numerous, destructive ripple effects of each transgression. And ultimately the healing required is each person’s responsibility. </p>
<p>My dad was the kind of man who reached out to lift others up, including young African-Americans in need of access to opportunities his children had. At his funeral, very few could tell you what my dad did for a living but many said he was their role model for fatherhood. As I reflect upon the gift of his life, and the current events of our country, I think how small, conscious steps to improve things can make one an agent of change. And every bit of goodness helps to creates the kind of world I want to live in. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6351302
2020-06-12T13:04:46-06:00
2023-12-10T12:09:39-06:00
What Dialogue Can Do
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/6e4b34bd21060fefe73d55c2fd4750f6a5fb8e4e/original/photo-1507537362848-9c7e70b7b5c1.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The other day I called my brother to check in and catch up. When I asked, “How are you?” he replied, “Do you mean when I’m in uniform or when I’m out of uniform?” My brother is a lieutenant police officer. Lately, if he’s in uniform, he may be called names, glared at, flipped off, or worse. Many law enforcement officers are finding themselves on the receiving end of the anger swelling in society today around the very real problems of systemic racism in our country. It reminds me a bit of the clergy abuse scandal in the Catholic Church, where many saw a Roman collar and wondered if the man wearing it was one of the hidden pedophiles. Similarly, some today see a police badge and assume the person wearing it is a bigot. Though I feel sad about that, I realize this is what outrage, full of pain, can look like. </p>
<p>My prayer is that, in time, all of the justified anger moves into a space of genuine dialogue… and from genuine dialogue into real transformation. </p>
<p>Theologian Hans Küng wrote “…dialogue has a totally different foundation and motivation when it arises out of the recognition of the sufferings of millions of underprivileged, marginalized people who have been denied even minimum human rights and dignity.” </p>
<p>Our nation seems to be waking up in new ways, recognizing the work that is before us. Many are starting this process of dialogue, motivated by a desire to change — not only the criminal justice system, but society over all. And each of us plays a part. If you don’t know where to begin, below are a few guidelines I’ve collected in my work with interreligious dialogue that can be generally applied. It’s amazing to see what dialogue can do! </p>
<p>Dialogue Toward Justice & Peace: <br>1) Start by knowing yourself, your background, and what has formed you. <br>2) Share these personal discoveries with one another to help educate each other. <br>3) Be sensitive to one another when sharing personal histories. <br>4) Enter into one another’s experience with curiosity and active engagement — actually spend time together in each other’s reality (e.g. home, neighborhood, job location, social life, place of worship, etc.) <br>5) Look at the context of how both peoples’ backgrounds are interconnected and have influenced one another. <br>6) Be open to change your perspective while allowing someone to respectfully disagree. <br>7) Find the common ground with which to make some justice and peace goals you both can support. <br>8) Work together to achieve these objectives, one at a time. <br>9) Stay in relationship with one another while welcoming others into the conversation. <br>10) Continue to bring needs and ideas to the table, advancing the mission of justice and peace. </p>
<p>Can you reach out to someone from a race other than your own and being an intentional dialogue to help our country heal and grow? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6344481
2020-06-06T07:28:58-06:00
2020-06-06T08:03:53-06:00
Ruptures Require Repair
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/cbde808ee7a5367f503714e364b2d9741e68cc34/original/photo-1591203994862-3811e5af73af.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>A few months ago a confidant of mine gave words to a dynamic I know to be true. It was a very useful insight for me, though simple and somewhat obvious. He shared how harmful it is in our relationships when there are ruptures that happen without repair following them. When ruptures aren’t repaired, the pain accumulates. As this pattern continues, the negative impact is compounded. Consequences follow. If you are on the receiving end of multiple un-repaired ruptures in a relationship, it’s likely you will lose hope, and any sense of connection with that person will shut down. And the greater the mistreatment, the greater the hurt, anger and despair. This is the personal level of how injuries left unaddressed divide people. </p>
<p>Our nation continues to see what this pattern of ruptures without repair looks like on a societal level, when people are horrifically abused by inhumane, criminal, and fatal acts. And these ruptures don’t just span just one lifetime, but generations. We have a very ugly history of racism that we need to face, a history of trauma that goes back hundreds of years. (See: https://www.history.com/…/black-hi…/black-history-milestones) A history where any inch toward “repair” hasn’t typically come from the conversions of the oppressors themselves, rather they have been demanded from the people abused and those willing to stand with them. </p>
<p>Is it really repair when the mindset that delivered the abuse isn’t truly altered? When the only reason the abuser is doing the “right” thing now is because they are being forced to? That does not deliver the healing and growth that is so desperately needed. That’s not reconciliation with the promise to do better going forward. </p>
<p>So how do we eradicate ignorance and indifference? How do we soften the hearts hardened by propaganda which fuels fear and hate? How do we stop prejudice and discrimination? How do we promote genuine inner transformation? </p>
<p>It’s an overwhelming task, but as my faith-filled “little brother” in Kenya would say, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” And in my soul I hear an invitation for each of us: </p>
<p>Let it begin with me. </p>
<p>Education, awareness, understanding. </p>
<p>Let it begin with me. </p>
<p>Listening, speaking, praying. </p>
<p>Let it begin with me. </p>
<p>Dignity, respect, compassion. </p>
<p>Let it begin with me. </p>
<p>Repentance, forgiveness, peace. </p>
<p>Let it begin with me. </p>
<p>Commitment, solidarity, trust. </p>
<p>Let it begin with me. </p>
<p>Advocacy, protection, love. </p>
<p>Let it begin with me. </p>
<p>We must wake up to what is our part. We must realize that ruptures require repair if we ever expect things to get better, both in our personal lives as well as our communal lives. Let us all embrace the evolution we are being called to right now. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6336017
2020-05-30T10:28:26-06:00
2020-05-30T10:31:21-06:00
What Love Can Look Like
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/c7335f1e6515e6fd7d3567b465b3424b315f0043/original/photo-1511895426328-dc8714191300.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The other day I was talking with a friend about some profound ways I have seen people love… the kind of love that hurts, the kind when the cost seems too high, the kind that stands on the line between wise and crazy. </p>
<p>As I considered this topic, I took a look around at stories I know. I thought about all the issues people have shared with me over the years. There are families with very real struggles including… </p>
<p>clinical depression, </p>
<p>aggressive tempers, </p>
<p>substance abuse and codependence… </p>
<p>personality disorders like bi-polar, </p>
<p>narcissism, </p>
<p>borderline… </p>
<p>behavior conditions like </p>
<p>anxiety, </p>
<p>OCD, </p>
<p>ADHD… </p>
<p>eating disorders like obesity, </p>
<p>anorexia, and </p>
<p>bulimia. </p>
<p>There are marriages with steep problems such as... </p>
<p>workaholism, </p>
<p>power struggles, </p>
<p>lack of physical intimacy… </p>
<p>verbal abuse, </p>
<p>fraudulence with finances, </p>
<p>pornography addiction… </p>
<p>fanaticism, </p>
<p>infidelity, and </p>
<p>physical abuse. </p>
<p>And many harm the people they live among — be it parent, sibling, spouse, or roommate — with emotional violence, such as... </p>
<p>devaluing the other, </p>
<p>withholding apologies or forgiveness, </p>
<p>expressing disdain… </p>
<p>behaving in ways that are controlling, </p>
<p>neglecting the other’s needs, </p>
<p>criticizing someone’s way of being… </p>
<p>humiliating a person in front of others, </p>
<p>abandoning another, </p>
<p>and betraying one’s trust. </p>
<p>I could put a name with every problem listed above. People indeed walk these miles. This brokenness is real. If in my small corner of life I have had this much familiarity with people suffering in all kinds of relationships, what does it say about the way love holds and lives among these struggles? </p>
<p>We are less than the fullness of our dreams, it seems. This could be due to aspects of nature, nurture, free will, illness, or a combination. Yet the fact is such “lackings” hurt us all, regardless of whether you lack the love you want or you lack the ability to love better… or commonly both. These challenges and shortfalls reveal a significant part of what it means to be human. </p>
<p>Perhaps we need to redefine what love can look like, from that which only brings you joy and comfort to that which can hold the brokenness before you. A love that isn’t just about one heart’s bliss, rather a love that counts all the heartbeats involved as a network of healing and growth. And this love may require intentional pruning, setting boundaries, patient wisdom, careful protection, or even departure if that prompting prayerfully arrives. All of these can be ways of loving. </p>
<p>Love is creative and intelligent, and when we don’t resist its lead, it can start to fill our lacking spaces one way or another. The more I experience in life, the more my vision expands for what love can look like. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6325249
2020-05-21T13:10:03-06:00
2020-09-16T02:40:27-06:00
Answering Invitations
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/31a7da1c4f9889cdb1d4ca9af6d2161f1104afed/original/photo-1530385463121-27bb8651ed16.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />There are many ways invitations reach our souls, encouraging healing, growth, and creativity. Sometimes they arrive by means of a spiritual scavenger hunt. This process can unfold without my awareness at first. All I may have done is merely look up something about which I’m curious. Then, perhaps twenty minutes and several hyperlinks later, I find myself perched on an insight I didn’t even know I needed… a message offering deep nourishment. Maybe it’s an author who becomes my next guru, or a meaningful article that brings an important lesson — whatever the invitation, it is an oasis for my thirst. It’s as though my spirit knows the path to whatever transcendental support is called for at just the right moment. </p>
<p>Another way I’ve experienced my soul being invited to consider something is when a topic keeps popping up from various sources in my life. Each mention of the same subject becomes like a spoke of a wheel, all pointing to a center I’m being asked to ponder. Recently, for example, my Spiritual Director sent me a recorded talk by Franciscan Richard Rohr, which beautifully awoke something in me. Then, about a week later, a member of the dream group I participate in emailed me a video of “The Welcoming Prayer,” commonly attributed to the Trappist Monk, Thomas Keating. I planned to check it out, but put it on the back burner as I was busy at the time. Another week or so after that, a mentor of mine asked in conversation if I had ever worked with “The Welcoming Prayer.” It turns out that “The Welcoming Prayer” is more than just a lovely written piece; it is a practice developed years ago by a spiritual teacher named Mary Mrozowski. She based it on her experience as well as the teachings of both the Jesuit priest, Jean Pierre de Caussade, and Fr. Keating. This method of contemplation has been widely used and adapted by many over the years. </p>
<p>Well, I started to suspect that the repeated mention of “The Welcoming Prayer” and its practice might be beyond coincidence. I still hadn’t yet taken the time to explore further, however, when this week it all came full-circle. My eyes landed on an article from Fr. Rohr, offering his adaptation of practicing "The Welcoming Prayer.” Given my fondness for his teachings in general (recently reignited by my Spiritual Director’s sharing), this was the third and crystalizing push I needed. Okay, Universal Love, I get it. I’ll give it a try! </p>
<p>Here's the prayer: </p>
<p>THE WELCOMING PRAYER: <br>Welcome, welcome, welcome. <br>I welcome everything that comes to me today <br>because I know it’s for my healing. <br>I welcome all thoughts, feelings, emotions, persons, <br>situations, and conditions. </p>
<p>I let go of my desire for power and control. <br>I let go of my desire for affection, esteem, <br>approval and pleasure. <br>I let go of my desire for survival and security. <br>I let go of my desire to change any situation, <br>condition, person or myself. </p>
<p>I open to the love and presence of God and <br>God’s action within. Amen. </p>
<p>Note: To find Rohr's practice of this prayer, visit: <a contents="The Welcoming Prayer" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://cac.org/the-perennial-tradition-weekly-summary-2019-08-17/">https://cac.org/the-perennial-tradition-weekly-summary-2019-08-17/</a> </p>
<p>I love how Spirit knows what we need for comfort, hope, renewal, and joy… and will keep knocking until we open the door. </p>
<p>How have invitations made their way to you? How might you answer these invitations today? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6318888
2020-05-15T09:40:00-06:00
2020-05-16T08:37:44-06:00
Redistribution of Personal Energy
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/0d84045006f4d0c51c89566693592270f2fadc4f/original/photo-1547467433-35e986b0a7e5.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Some problems can become all consuming in a flash. If the difficulty feels chronic, or the issue presents itself as urgent, how easy it is to make it our singular focus. We investigate it, parse it out, get as clear as we can on the storyline and patterns. All of this effort can be good if it leads us to a productive solution in a reasonable amount of time. Yet when the problem is a gray (not black or white), or presently unmovable, we risk draining our life force dwelling on it, seeking some sort of resolve that is not yet available. We risk suffering over our suffering instead of merely allowing the problem to be. </p>
<p>At the same time, it seems to me that energy will insist on being used one way or another. If we’re not careful, we can find ourselves wasting it like a dog chasing its tail, leaving us dizzy, confused, and exhausted. Before me, lately, there has been a restlessness to improve certain situations — an energy beckoning for a plan, a decision, a remedy. It wants to take action but there’s no clear direction, and instead I am invited to live into the answers moment by moment. </p>
<p>What then to do with that energy that wants a response now? If ignored it might pound a brick wall until it bleeds. Instead, I’m trying to redirect it, transmute it perhaps. Rather than use that energy to linger over the unmovable, I can choose to use it to move myself… to new, inward territory. If I catch myself going down the road which leads to that brick wall, I can make a choice to stop and shift my energy toward exploring that which brings me peace, and even joy. For me, this recent redistribution of personal energy has taken the vigor out of my perceived problems and put it instead into a spiritual voyage… for the purpose of growing closer to the God of my understanding — the God that soothes me as I trade resistance for awareness. Always a work in progress… </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6309391
2020-05-08T13:48:16-06:00
2020-05-08T13:48:16-06:00
The Bridge Between Patience and Acceptance
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/f5ce62a570b33e0c3b49a700c45627ccc4402bc1/original/photo-1568736333610-eae6e0ab9206.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Sometimes it's painful to remain patient — hoping a situation will change for the better, when there is little to no evidence that real transformation is underway or even possible. </p>
<p>Sometimes it’s painful to accept that all hope is gone — realizing a situation is unmovable, like death, requiring one to grieve a particular reality. </p>
<p>I have lived in both spaces, and each comes with a cost and a benefit to be considered. </p>
<p>To extend patience to a situation means facing the hard truth that what is longed for is not yet a reality. Bringing that realization to consciousness reveals a contrast that can be agonizing. Yet embedded in patience of any kind is some measure of hope, even if incredibly thin. That alone can be enough to buoy one’s spirit… that there is still a chance things will improve. </p>
<p>Acceptance, on the other hand, signals grief to enter the scene as “game over” is declared. And while naming limitations does bring one to a process of mourning, it also ushers in a freedom to move forward and use the energy once spent on patient waiting to now focus on other things. This too can console the soul… that the suffering is finally over. </p>
<p>Knowing where to put one’s energy, into patience or into acceptance, is a challenge I know well. My dearest friends will tell you that, when hard pressed, I tend to error on the side of patience… and sometimes to a fault. </p>
<p>The only way I have found to bridge the tension — between being patient and accepting something as a conclusion — is prayer. The famous, shortened version of “The Serenity Prayer,” written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, captures the intention well: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.” </p>
<p>Yes, serenity is the objective. After all, what do we want for our patience but peace? What do we want for our acceptance but peace? </p>
<p>When I struggle to find serenity, because I cannot determine what is truly changeable and what is not, I try to remember that the Source of All… that holds the universe and animates all its forms… can surely hold what’s unresolved in my life too. In fact, She already does, whether or not I am aware. Yet by consciously turning such a challenge over to God, through prayer, I can better release the matter to that liminal space… trusting Spirit will take it from here. This is the only bridge between patience and acceptance that I have found thus far on my journey. How about you? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6300237
2020-04-30T13:57:13-06:00
2022-02-25T12:57:04-06:00
The Heart-Brain Friendship
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/f7b7812473bb2afde8cc75494b8f641992fa7aef/original/photo-1492127042590-8094c493b510.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />On a recent family bike ride my 8 year old daughter, peddling alongside me, said with discovery and excitement, “Mom, I think the heart and brain are best friends! Do you know why?” I replied, “No, why?” She continued, “Because the heart pumps blood to the brain to make it work, but the brain tells the heart to pump the blood!” I was speechless as I took in her beauty. </p>
<p>Later her remarks led me to look up that very connection between the heart and brain, the two most important organs in the human body. I found information that confirmed my daughter’s insight and reminded me of the interconnectedness of our bodies. The heart and brain indeed are like best friends in a mutual, ongoing cycle of awareness and response. Whatever the situation is, they are in it together, for better or worse. </p>
<p>The problem is that, because the heart and brain have such a tight friendship, when experiencing something negative they can get stuck in a harmful loop, causing one’s physical and mental health to suffer. The good news, however, is we can break these detrimental patterns with some intentionality on our part. There are many great options to interrupt the unfavorable signals and get our systems operating in a more positive direction once again. Seven of my favorite, simple ways to do so are: </p>
<p>1. Move the body (e.g. go for a walk) </p>
<p>2. Take in nutrition (e.g. eat a healthy meal) </p>
<p>3. Express love to someone (e.g. make a phone call) </p>
<p>4. Engage in something creative (e.g. coloring will do) </p>
<p>5. Connect with nature (e.g. sit on the grass outside) </p>
<p>6. Meditate with breath work (e.g. use a free online app to guide you), and </p>
<p>7. Pray (e.g. journaling about whatever makes you thankful) </p>
<p>Which one of these could become a priority for you today, so that your body’s heart-brain friendship thrives? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6292295
2020-04-23T15:18:21-06:00
2021-04-21T11:04:20-06:00
To See and Be Seen
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/067ee14417a4ec51216fac60ac4e38be6c85c259/original/photo-1451597827324-4b55a7ebc5b7.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Recently I was talking to a friend about the impact of a good mother — how a good mother affirms a child with loving insights into the child’s preciousness, innate beauty, and unique giftedness. This is something I miss from my own mom, who blessed me often with reminders of being cherished. Not having her on the earth over a dozen years has left quite a void in that department for me. </p>
<p>Yet as my friend and I continued to discuss how powerful sincere words of kindness are, we agreed that what I’m referring to isn’t just about compliments or positive feedback. It’s about being seen, fully… and loved, deeply. It’s about someone witnessing your life, who you genuinely are, and caring about what happens in your world. It’s about someone loving you enough to reflect back to you that the movements of your life matter. How meaningful such affection is! </p>
<p>Really seeing someone requires an ability to look beneath the surface, past the ego and conditioning that can so easily blur our vision, to focus in on another’s true self. And with that clear view of one’s heart and soul, the seer can draw forth gifts, gently uncover invitations to grow, and call the other to more fully experience their authentic goodness. This isn’t about age or knowledge, for even an infant can make this offering. It’s ultimately about presence. </p>
<p>To be seen only requires a sanctuary in which one can be vulnerable. That is why it comes so naturally between a healthy mother-child bond, where that trust is established from the start. That is also why it’s so painful when such safe keeping is absent or violated. I continually learn not to underestimate the damage that can be done in the inner chambers of another’s being. When we disregard that sacred territory in another we essentially stomp on their worthiness — a sure way to destroy a relationship or much worse. </p>
<p>Instead, we can choose to honor and protect what matters most in another. We can discover and build relationships that hold holiness in this way. In my life, these people are called my chosen family. They understand that some of the most purposeful time spent in life is to see and be seen… for it encourages the soul to show up and make its lovely contribution to the world. </p>
<p>Who do you see? Who sees you? Make that valuable connection today. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6285635
2020-04-17T13:51:07-06:00
2021-07-07T05:14:22-06:00
Some Small Gain
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/c793e763363450a48824953be8460e52a0fcee55/original/desmet-sd.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Part of me is a prairie girl at heart, revealed by my affection for the “Little House on the Prairie” series, written by Laura Ingalls Wilder, and the subsequent TV show, as well as trips to places such as Walnut Grove, MN and De Smet, SD to experience their renditions of the time period. It’s easy to romanticize pioneer life, however, and forget how difficult those times actually were. People left behind relatives and friends indefinitely to pursue the unknown. There were serious threats of disease, starvation, and the harsh elements of nature as they made their way. And let us not forget the ugly underbelly of that time in history when Native Americans were displaced, killed by epidemics the settlers had introduced, murdered over conflicts, and made promises by the U.S. government that were never fulfilled. </p>
<p>Yet what I love about the charming stories told of the pioneer era, as shared in the books by Wilder, is the emphasis on the human spirit’s capacity for courage, resilience, and hope. At one point in the series, the Ingalls lose an entire crop — their livelihood — to an infestation of blackbirds. Pa tries to kill off the birds but there are too many. In stoic acceptance of such devastation Ma Ingalls responds, “There’s no great loss without some small gain,” and she makes a few of the fallen blackbirds for dinner. The choice to work with what was before her, to not miss the opportunity for a meal despite being completely devastated and worried about how they will survive going forward, is incredible. Over and over we see this family meet terrible adversity with stunning optimism, focusing on what they have rather than on what they don’t. It’s a principle that maintains some quality of life for them while managing the worst of times. </p>
<p>Our world’s current crisis calls to mind such stories of perseverance. I join with others seeking out the small gains amid tragic loss and terrible hardship sweeping the planet. There must be some bits of grace we can cling to as we wait out the storm of this pandemic. Perhaps it’s a slower paced lifestyle, more time with one’s family nucleus, a chance to take care of domestic duties that haven’t made the priority list in the normal hustle and bustle of over-scheduled lives. Perhaps it’s the push to increase technological skills for school, work, or visual connection with loved ones. Perhaps it’s taking up writing letters by hand again, getting more time to read books, or finally finding room for daily meditation. Perhaps it’s the better air quality as CO2 emissions drop, or less seismic noise on the planet so scientists can better monitor the earth’s crust. Perhaps it’s a chance for creativity to bubble up in all kinds of ways, and so forth... </p>
<p>“There’s no great loss without some small gain” does not mean the great loss is justified by any upside. It simply means we are invited to focus on what is within our control with an attitude that helps soothe the suffering, if only just a smidge. </p>
<p>What small gains are you discovering during this challenging time? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6278829
2020-04-10T14:04:03-06:00
2020-04-10T14:04:03-06:00
Sitting With Pain
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/5bbb0c21d70df9890b82dfefed89a6dcaa70f955/original/photo-1476900164809-ff19b8ae5968.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Here it is Good Friday, in the Christian tradition — a religion that spans about one third of the world’s population. Many have grown up hearing the intense story of Jesus' final day on earth — the cruelty, the agony, the surrender. Regardless of religious background, those of us who have lost loved ones can relate to the hallow ache of death’s silence and the crushing weight of grief experienced. Most of us cannot see any possible resurrection on the horizon at times like these. It’s too hard to fathom what new life might look like when at a point of such profound loss. No, instead, at times of great heartbreak, we sit with the pain and its unknowing of what transformations may lie ahead. </p>
<p>And so it is with our world right now, for the over 100,000 lives that have been lost to the Covid-19 pandemic (at the time of this writing). Each one a human being with a unique story. </p>
<p>In the Jewish tradition I admire the practice of sitting shiva with loved ones during times of mourning. While some people seem to avoid the discomfort of looking bereavement in the eye, I have come to identify my closest friends by their ability to meet me in such spaces with sheer vulnerability. To me, this beautiful gift of presence to another’s anguish powerfully says “this life mattered,” and “your suffering matters.” </p>
<p>Today, as many reverently acknowledge the life of Jesus that was cut way too short and unjustly so, let us also hold in our hearts the many lives worldwide taken abruptly and unfairly over the past four months of the coronavirus outbreak. Let us take a moment to sit with the collective pain of deep loss that is part of the human story and not run from it. Let us send love from our hearts to those in despair, even if it’s only by way of energy in thought or prayer to a stranger we’ll never meet. Let us acknowledge together the gift of life and the difference each one makes. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6271959
2020-04-04T15:05:10-06:00
2021-08-09T13:10:45-06:00
Patience With a Purpose
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/217c0723fc2424003415f6deb3e633712ea4da8a/original/photo-1585282284315-cf1fff918a0f.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Almost five years ago my family moved into our current home. We’re the second owners of this 42-year-old house. Upon our arrival the entire inside was calling for fresh paint and various updates. As any homeowner knows, making improvements can be a long road of gradual progress. My husband worked as a painter when he was younger, and thus has taken on the majority of the painting, for which I am very grateful. This week, however, while our daughters are on spring break, I made a plan to finish painting the master bedroom with their help. We have been doing the tedious scraping, sanding, taping off of areas, priming and finally painting. Here it is the end of the week though, and we haven’t yet reached the goal I had in mind. We’ve definitely made headway but there is still more to do and it’s going to take a little longer than I had hoped. I know this process requires patience and keeping an eye on the prize, which in this case is to have an aesthetically pleasing space for rest and rejuvenation. I imagine it will feel really good once it is complete. </p>
<p>Anytime we take on a project or a challenge it is key to remember the objective, the "why." This is especially true when things go slowly and it looks like the situation might never improve. It is in these moments of doubt that we can take the opportunity to cultivate the virtue of patience. When we keep in mind the purpose behind what we’re doing, and take things one step at a time, we can trust there will be forward movement toward the desired result… eventually. </p>
<p>As a nation, if there was ever a time to practice patience with a purpose, it is now. Many people feel discouraged that we need to continue social distancing and sheltering-in-place for at least another month, and quite possibly longer. It may seem like this Covid-19 pandemic will never turn a corner, that we will never resume the freedoms we once had to gather, hug, travel and go about life without masks or worry. Yet we know eventually humanity will find its way through this. If we focus on the intended results right now — to preserve as many lives as possible, to not overwhelm our healthcare systems, to give scientists time to develop an effective immunization, etc. — we can better manage the distance we must go. We can pace ourselves with the most important consideration in mind: the precious lives of one another. </p>
<p>The improvement we all are waiting for may take much longer than any of us have anticipated. Yet as we practice patience with a purpose, doing the next right thing one moment at a time, we will move through this to better days ahead. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6260401
2020-03-24T12:31:01-06:00
2020-03-25T19:26:24-06:00
Love Responds
<p><span style="color:#000000;"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/7bf2d96eb58e42646460e26df9c4032c0ebad773/original/photo-1516967124798-10656f7dca28.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I don't know why the design of life is such that things like pandemics happen. I had a philosophy teacher once tell me that in order for there to truly be love, there needs to be freedom – freedom to choose love... and with freedom comes chance, which is where chaos can enter. Whatever the case, I have seen repeatedly in my own life that when chaos does strike, love is revealed in unique ways – graces come to hold us in our darkest hours. The good that happens in reaction to the bad certainly doesn’t make the bad worthwhile, but it can sometimes make the bad more bearable. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">People often ask where is God in the midst of suffering. I understand what is implied in the question itself, and I agree, that it is very hard to find God in suffering. It’s so hard, in fact, that I simply do not start there. Instead, in my darkest hours, I have learned to look for God not in the suffering itself, but in the response to the suffering. In the case of the Covid-19 crisis, for example... </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">I see God in medical professionals bravely responding to the infected with skillful care. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">I see God in dedicated scientists working tirelessly to develop effective treatments. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">I see God in the leadership of those promoting the good of others over the benefit of their businesses. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">I see God in the courage of essential employees (e.g. grocery store workers) continuing to offer the rest of us our basic needs. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">I see God in the kindness of neighbors checking in with one another. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">I see God in the school systems rapidly learning how to teach our children electronically. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">I see God in the creativity of so many who are adapting to social distancing by using technology to connect and comfort one another. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">I see God in the compassionate prayers circulating the planet in all languages and creeds. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">And on and on and on… </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">Perhaps it’s easier to understand this notion if you look upon God as Love. Love is indeed present here. Love has never left us and I trust it never will. Love responds. I count on that. And as a dear friend of mine recently texted, thank goodness Love cannot be quarantined. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;">My you be inspired!</span></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256507
2020-03-20T13:24:47-06:00
2020-03-20T13:24:47-06:00
Trauma and Triumph
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/d4f7046d3561f8e59bd7c8e2acf885865c036d09/original/photo-1530688957198-8570b1819eeb.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />These are strange times. Yet despite how unusual this Covid-19 crisis feels, there is also a remote familiarity to what we are going through, based on our collective human history of enduring periods of widespread suffering. </p>
<p>At a minimum, we carry the stories from our family trees of what those who have gone before us survived. For example, I recall learning how my grandmother was raised during the Great Depression. The trauma of that experience was evidenced by the material items she would hold on to, just in case she might need them one day. Her mindset on this topic might not make sense to those of us who have never experienced the stress she did. We may be inclined to judge it as unreasonable and yet, for one who lived through it, her frame of mind was completely understandable and prudent. I also recall stories of family members generations back who lost children to Scarlet Fever and other diseases that no longer threaten us like they once did. My mother said when her grandparents had their kids the advice of the time was to have twice as many children as you hope to raise, because illness was likely to kill half of them before they reach adulthood. What a daunting reality, and yet they persisted. </p>
<p>Beyond memories such as these, handed down through generations, is the possibility that, according to some scientists, traumas such as wars, plagues, famines, genocides, economic despair, and so forth can leave an epigenetic mark on the offspring of those who endured such horrors. (See this interesting article: https://www.bbc.com/fu…/article/20190326-what-is-epigenetics) Whatever the case, be it through the oral tradition of our lineage or the recollection in the DNA of our very own cells, we as a species can sense that we have been here before, in ways. We have cycled through serious hardships time and again, always going forward to see better days eventually. </p>
<p>If we could consult our ancestors today, to glean their wisdom on how they adapted to the challenges they faced, they might remind us of what we already know down deep, such as why it is so important to do what we can to protect the most vulnerable. And they might remind us to balance our precautionary vigilance with hopeful assurance that in time, “this too shall pass.” I’m sure my grandfather, born in 1899, would say as he so often did during hardships, “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” And it is dark right now, incredibly dark, for those who are in the throes of grief over losing a loved one so unexpectedly. It is really dark for those still trying with all they have to survive this illness and for those going in day after day to care for the sick with an immeasurable risk to their own health. It is dark for those living in fear because they are in vulnerable situations and for those who find themselves suddenly and indefinitely unemployed. </p>
<p>Yes, it is very dark for many on our planet right now. Yet as much as trauma is part of the human story, so too is triumph. We know this in our bones, if not our souls…if not on earth, than in eternity… we will continue. The sun will rise again. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256506
2020-03-14T14:25:00-06:00
2021-11-13T15:17:12-06:00
The Beauty of Honesty
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/9f18c9882a08e9826b21fabf3240d52e014fabea/original/photo-1508672019048-805c876b67e2.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Growing up in the Roman Catholic tradition, I’ve learned to embrace Lent as a time of truth-telling — a time where I can check in on my journey, for better or worse. By evaluating where I’m at presently, a result of where I’ve been, I can at least try to course correct areas that need it. This point of reflection gives me hope that I can move forward being better aligned with the “true north” of the Holy Spirit by my understanding. This not only includes being a good human being, it also incorporates living out more fully the design for joy that has been created in me. </p>
<p>Fearlessness is required in this evaluation process. I must truly let down my guard and be real about what is — where I struggle and fall short, as well as what’s on target. There seems to me no other path to actualizing life’s full potential but with courage to name what needs to be named. </p>
<p>Initially, I do this work internally; it’s just me with perhaps a journal and pen. Part two requires I share my discoveries with another trusted individual, be it a spiritual director, counselor, or soul friend. Admitting to another human being where I need forgiveness and help is a pivotal step in taking responsibility for myself. Not to mention, someone who is skilled in accompanying others can offer tremendous insight that confirms healing is taking place and can help plant new seeds of growth. Finally in this process, I commit to the improvements that have been stirred up in my heart, and take action steps toward the wholeness they promise. </p>
<p>The beauty of honesty is the freedom it espouses. In the midst of ugly truths and ignorant missteps we can find relief in releasing what was to make way for what can be. We can also intentionally call forth the many blessings, sometimes hidden, that are worthy of celebration. And with prayer and initiative, we are able to start living amends and embracing our truest selves. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256504
2020-03-07T14:25:00-06:00
2020-03-20T13:22:34-06:00
Adjusting Expectations
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/08ab24f898a2ebb887c9e7cfc10e2addbaaa8623/original/photo-1503789188050-804ee34b3d32.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />You’ve likely heard the famous quotation by Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” I haven’t always followed that advice well enough. I tend to be someone who sees the best in others to a fault, gives second and even third chances. Eventually, however, if it becomes clear to me that someone is operating with deliberately shady motives, I will depart the scene. </p>
<p>What is trickier for me to navigate is when someone harms me not because of malice, but because of their current inability to do better. We people are so complex, full of blessing and challenge. We are formed by all of our past experiences, and the culture in which we live. We also each have our unique makeup of how we're wired. Some of us may have never developed certain communication skills, others may have a kind of disability when it comes to specific interpersonal matters. Some of us may have aptitude loaded with potential, but lack the capacity to apply it with any measure of consistency. Many areas of weakness in the human condition require incredible awareness, effort, and ongoing practice to override. I view this process much like working certain muscles of our body in order to obtain a desired fitness result. Often it takes a lot of time to reach a goal and, once there, a disciplined commitment to maintain that improvement. </p>
<p>It can be quite confusing when experiencing the dysfunctional pieces of someone we love. (Note: We all have dysfunctional pieces!) We need to parse out harmful intent from blind spots or perhaps illness. When we are on the receiving end of bad or disappointing behavior it’s natural to feel angry and upset. As patterns repeat we can become disheartened and negative about the relationship altogether. Yet one way to relieve the pressure valve of frustration in these situations is to simply adjust our expectations. Just like we don’t expect infants to run, we also need to look realistically at our relationships and not expect others to be today who they have not yet become. By adjusting expectations we can take our feelings of disillusionment down a notch or two, and allow for compassion and patience to grow in us while we turn another’s development over to God. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6232704
2020-02-29T15:08:12-06:00
2021-08-05T13:55:02-06:00
Two Things That Free Us
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/73e300e4d47c408fa39637951cb859b7e260cc29/original/photo-1508175749578-259ded3db070.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I’ve been thinking lately of people who have endured tangible and devastating limitations, unlike anything my privileged life has known, such as undeserved imprisonment, conditions of war, slavery, and poverty. My mind wonders how a person suffering such a reality could ever find some measure of peace, despite their circumstances. Not only that, I marvel at the stories of individuals who not only survive such abuse and mistreatment but go on to change the world for the better. My youngest daughter learned about one such individual this month, Harriet Tubman, whose story is astounding, laden with courage, purpose, and determination.</p>
<p>Stories like Tubman’s makes me think of the human capacity to hold on to an inner freedom when the outer circumstances may be in chains, actually or metaphorically. And while many of us may be nowhere near physical captivity, some of us, I suspect, have areas in life that feel restricting or diminishing. There are systems that oppress callings, or conditions that clip the wings of passion. There are relationships to which we are responsible that weigh us down, or the ghosts in our own minds that try to disqualify our giftedness. As I recently heard gospel singer Wintley Phipps say in an interview, all of us are enslaved by something. </p>
<p>It seems to me there are at least two things that can help to free us. One is to truly internalize our worthiness, to really know in the depths of our being that we are indeed beloved. It is not required for the world around us to acknowledge that fact in order for it to be true. It simply is. And this truth can help set us free, at least on the inside, which can keep us from crumbling into despair. Add to that, when we practice knowing our own preciousness, we are better able to look upon another with love, for they too entered the world innocent and worthy. As I see it, the capacity to love ourselves, and others, can do nothing but strengthen us. </p>
<p>Another way we can help free ourselves is by forgiveness. When we forgive others we add to our freedom because we are not allowing the toxicity of the harm done unto us to have power over us. This quotation from Nelson Mandela articulates that point well: “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.” Furthermore, it seems the more we practice forgiving others, the better we become at granting ourselves that same grace when we need it. </p>
<p>Love and forgiveness, two powerful forces that transcend and liberate. I aim to employ them more in my own life. And ironically, as I conclude this post, my oldest daughter is in a nearby room singing “Amazing Grace.” </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6232717
2020-02-22T15:15:00-06:00
2020-02-29T15:16:31-06:00
I Want to Love You ~ A Song
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/e4e2f6842526fefcd4ccccddc4efc8efa2a9cf95/original/photo-1518558406542-3dc7f0e69a40-1.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>This tune is about uncertainty in a relationship. It marks the difficult space of not knowing which direction to go with one’s heart. Two people can share the same experience for which they would offer very different understandings. It might be romance; it might be friendship. And as we “carry on,” living into the answers one step at a time, we may find that the path brings us to a broader, less defined, way of loving in the end. </p>
<p>You can listen to “I Want to Love You” for free on my website at https://tammywinn.com/music. It is the 7th track on the album, “Calling Deep.” </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
<p>“I Want to Love You” <br>© Tammy Winn </p>
<p>Brushing up against old scars <br>And the saddest part <br>I don’t think you understand <br>You’ve never had <br>Your heart broken before </p>
<p>A tragedy that empathy <br>Comes at the price of suffering <br>No baby, I don’t want you to hurt </p>
<p>But I wish you knew <br>What you do to me <br>And I wish I knew <br>How to set this free <br>So I could simply carry on, carry on </p>
<p>Must I let you go <br>Must I tell you so <br>I’m in anguish over the grey <br>While you sail on in blue <br>And I don’t want to just be <br>Good for your ego <br>Babe, I want to love you </p>
<p>Mixed signals just don’t exist <br>So I try to resist <br>The temptation to give in <br>And let you win <br>What you still have to earn </p>
<p>My logic cries open your eyes <br>Now’s not the time to compromise <br>Yeah baby, I know what I deserve </p>
<p>But I wish you knew <br>What you do to me <br>And I wish I knew <br>How to set this free <br>So I could simply carry on, carry on </p>
<p>Must I let you go <br>Must I tell you so <br>I’m in anguish over the grey <br>While you sail on in blue <br>And I don’t want to just be <br>Good for your ego <br>Babe, I want to love you </p>
<p>Must I let you go <br>Must I tell you so <br>I’m in anguish over the grey <br>While you sail on in blue <br>And I don’t want to just be <br>Good for your ego <br>Babe, I want to love you </p>
<p>Simply carry on <br>Simply carry on <br>Simply carry on <br>Carry on</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256511
2020-02-14T14:30:00-06:00
2020-03-20T13:29:13-06:00
Challenge Will Change Us
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/ee43dcaecb6e4f32198b6021507b97605041da88/original/photo-1489533119213-66a5cd877091.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>This week I tried a cycling class for the first time. Riding a stationary bike doesn’t typically appeal to me, as I prefer to cycle outdoors with natural scenery and fresh air. Yet it’s winter where I live, and I won’t be biking outside for a while. Between that and the fact that this class is taught by my favorite instructor at the gym, I decided to go for it. </p>
<p>As I got rolling, I felt the burn in my quadriceps and wondered how I’d be fairing by the end of the class. Thankfully the teacher kept it interesting and, since she knows many of her students by name, she can encourage us individually as well as collectively. It was in a moment of group motivation when she said something that caught my ear. Referring to why we should shift into a harder gear on our bikes she said, “If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.” I had never heard this quotation before (credited to Fred DeVito) and it really resonated with me. </p>
<p>How true is this concept, not only in the moments of building physical muscle, but also in other areas of life that build the muscles of character, compassion, and wisdom. We can challenge ourselves to make better choices, to reach out to the broken in new ways, and to learn how to reverence something or someone different than us. </p>
<p>I made it through the cycling class and though my legs were a bit shaky afterward, I felt good for having taken on the challenge of altering my workout regime. My body felt the genesis of change from this experience — ever so slightly stronger and healthier for having done it. I plan to go again. </p>
<p>Where might you consider taking on a new challenge in your life… a challenge that has the potential to change you for the better? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256524
2020-02-07T14:35:00-06:00
2020-03-20T13:31:25-06:00
Pain Holds Invitations
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/27c4ac8d57f0f63b5a4b1dff92411bf920abb423/original/photo-1472162314594-eca3c3d90df1.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Pain often comes before change. For example, we may find ourselves out of breath after an activity we once did well, and feel low for having let our fitness slip. We may dread going into the office and well up with frustration for having become stagnant in our careers. We may suffer in a relationship that was supposed to be loving yet feels anything but that. What does the low feeling, the dread and frustration, the suffering have to say to us? It’s time to make a change. </p>
<p>Rather than bury the pain in perpetual business or indulgences or avoidance, let’s face it just for a moment. Maybe the change it beckons comes in small steps — a commitment to take a walk in the neighborhood, updating a resume, or reaching out for support from a friend. The important part is that we listen to the pain. We honor the message it is trying to deliver. We appreciate the flag it raises in an effort to bring us back into balance. </p>
<p>Let’s take an inventory of our pain and welcome the invitations it holds for us. Let’s be brave enough to look at it, knowing it won’t be fixed all at once… yet realizing if we never dare to address it we’ll be choosing to stay stuck or, even worse, we'll be inviting it to come back stronger. </p>
<p>We can value the role pain plays in getting our attention and make one simple move at a time to improve our situations today. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256526
2020-01-31T14:35:00-06:00
2020-03-20T13:36:04-06:00
What Should Be Encouraged
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/8e6a270d91c0af0ff18b9b1c45c35345d2505328/original/photo-1556884201-c949a3bbf6ad.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />My big brother recently shared with me a phrase he picked up at work (He’s a Police Lieutenant.). It says, “That which you allow, you encourage.” This is not a phrase just limited to crime, however. To me, it speaks to relationships — with loved ones, neighbors, colleagues, representatives, and, perhaps most importantly, ourselves. It speaks to demanding that we and others be treated with respect, dignity, and compassion. </p>
<p>Maybe we can think of it a little bit like the old game, “Red Light, Green Light” when examining our interactions. We are the leaders of our own lives, after all. We get to declare, at least internally, “Red Light!” whenever we judge something is not healthy for us, whenever we feel a given behavior is diminishing us and needs to stop. And for that which uplifts us, that which we know is life-giving, we can encourage it with an internal, “Green Light!” Welcoming in the goodness that is there for us to enjoy is equally as important as halting the unnecessary negativity. </p>
<p>Pay attention to that which you are allowing, or not allowing, and see if it’s what you actually want to encourage more of in your life or not. When we tune in to that still small voice within, the one that guides us to healing and wholeness (i.e. our "red lights” and “green lights”), we can better commit to invaluable self-care. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256527
2020-01-23T14:40:00-06:00
2020-03-20T13:37:25-06:00
Replacing Fears with Faith
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/4662ee62abe8a5b7e74688e0f3c7647a2586eb4c/original/photo-1516571748831-5d81767b788d.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I’ve heard it said that worry is wasted energy. I recall my mom sharing that when she was younger she would occasionally worry that one or both of her parents might die from a stroke. Who knows why she feared a stroke and not something else. Perhaps it was related to what she had studied or seen as a nurse. Regardless, she would tell me that story to illustrate that it was useless to concern one’s self with tragic things that might happen one day. It robs us of the gifts before us now. And, as it turns out, neither of her parents, nor anyone in our family tree, has ever had a stroke to my knowledge. </p>
<p>Instead let’s think about how we can we replace our fears with faith. I don’t mean faith in the form of cliches such as, “everything happens for a reason,” or “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” Though these thoughts may comfort some, they don’t typically work for me. What I’m getting at is a point of faith wherein we surrender these fears altogether, accepting our limitations to manage future “what ifs” today. This is a faith that simply says, “God goes before me.” </p>
<p>Yes we should reasonably do what we can to be responsible for our part of a situation (e.g. take care of one’s health to minimize an illness). Beyond that, however, we can release the rest for it is not ours to determine anyway. </p>
<p>I am soothed when I acknowledge there IS something greater than the self, which many call God, and I’m not it. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256528
2020-01-16T14:40:00-06:00
2020-03-20T13:38:38-06:00
Only Hope ~ A Song
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/f52498c644a73c22c6489c5f67744a5bb839a6ec/original/photo-1516472151647-6900f65d8975.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />All week long my 7-year-old has been singing back to me the lyrics of “Only Hope.” This is a biographical song I wrote when my dad was trying to recover from cancer. During that time I witnessed my mother’s incredible devotion and my father’s amazing will to live. </p>
<p>In the second verse of “Only Hope,” I prayed that my dad could live long enough to see me married and know any kids I might have. Little did I know that both he and my mother would die before I even met my husband. Yet despite the fact that my parents never met him or their granddaughters on earth, there are countless times I’ve watched Spirit connect us all… like when my 7-year-old sings my songs about them… In these moments, it’s as if the fullness of hope is realized. </p>
<p>To hear “Only Hope” please use the attached link: <br>https://www.tammyannwinn.com/music/a/calling_deep <br>It is the 6th track on the “Calling Deep” album. </p>
<p>May you be inspired! </p>
<p>“Only Hope” <br>© Tammy Winn </p>
<p>He calls out her name every night <br>Mary Ann, Mary Ann <br>Faithfully she’s there to quiet the fright <br>For Jim, she loves him <br>Marriage has blessed them thirty-seven years <br>But the past five have been filled with oh so many tears <br>He made it through the surgery, chemo, radiation <br>Thank God </p>
<p>Will it get any better <br>The storms they weather <br>One can only hope, only hope </p>
<p>From a hospital bed his days begin <br>How sad, poor dad <br>And mom knows the drill, distributes every pill <br>Doctors give; her husband lives <br>Must be a miracle, he’s made it to see <br>Six grandkids later, can he wait for me <br>I want my dad to know the life I’m bound to have <br>Someday </p>
<p>Will it get any better <br>The storms they weather <br>One can only hope, only hope </p>
<p>There’s nothing more to say that hasn’t been said <br>It’s hard for me to wait and see <br>So much despair quickly fills my head <br>With all this grief it’s hard to believe <br>But the Covenants we’ve heard of, years have called true <br>And I will tightly cling to their promises with you <br>For I want to always stay in my daddy’s loving arms <br>Abba </p>
<p>Will it get any better <br>The storms they weather <br>One can only hope, only hope</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256529
2020-01-10T14:40:00-06:00
2020-03-20T13:39:41-06:00
Supported by Love
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/d4127ca6fab44db990156b9ecadfa0250fa058d3/original/photo-1501770118606-b1d640526693.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Recently I’ve been reminded of the old adage, “A burden shared is a burden lightened.” Many people prefer to sort through their troubles or concerns in isolation. Yet when we go it alone for too long, we run the risk of interpreting the matter in extremes. On one end we can minimize the problem, and thus ignore it, when the truth is it demands some attention. On the other end, we can maximize the problem, and give up on the situation by thinking it is just too enormous, when the truth is it's not so bad. </p>
<p>What helps me cut through theses extremes is to pause and share what’s on my heart and mind with a trusted loved one, someone with the capacity to stand with me and enter into my experience with compassion. It is there that I am often comforted by finding others can relate, i.e. “I’m not the only one…” That in itself brings tremendous relief. And within a healthy exchange between myself and a friend or mentor, the synergy of intentional conversation always leads to a greater perspective and more options than when I was trying to figure it out on my own. </p>
<p>Simply put, when we share a trouble with someone who is capable of expressing their care for us, we feel supported by love. That’s no small thing. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256530
2020-01-04T14:40:00-06:00
2020-03-20T13:41:01-06:00
Awakening in the New Year
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/94492cc6513f8ace8e9e7fecce10ccdd4932508f/original/photo-1537183461722-94dad0fa85b8.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Recently I’ve been revisiting wisdom taught by various spiritual teachers about being present. For example, I really appreciate this quotation by the ancient Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu: “If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” Author Eckhart Tolle also drives this point home by saying, “Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.” </p>
<p>I’ve always had an actively contemplative mind. Some have told me I think too much at times. That may be, though much of the time I think the ability to reflect is a positive trait. Yet, when the psyche gets weighed down with past events one can no longer change, or preoccupied by what might uncertainly happen tomorrow or five years from now… it’s time to stop the gerbil wheel in the brain and focus on the Now. </p>
<p>When we take a moment to evaluate the present moment we usually find that all is well, or well enough. If today we have our basic needs met (e.g. food, water, shelter, clothing, etc.), today we’re okay. If today we have at least one person in the world who truly cares about us, today we’re okay. And many have much more than this, that we’d more fully realize and appreciate if we were to stop and count our blessings. </p>
<p>When we awaken to the present moment and reside in the Now, there is peace. This is the peace I am centering on as 2020 begins. May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256531
2019-12-28T14:45:00-06:00
2020-03-20T13:42:24-06:00
One Last Embrace of 2019
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/8cd4a595e0ec5d16e081ee3c90c374d3202d8a76/original/photo-1535642147056-37b87c7e3042.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />In a gift exchange over Christmas I received Parker Palmer’s latest book, “On the Bring of Everything; Grace, Gravity, and Getting Old.” I’ve wanted to read it since I first heard about it. I like Palmer’s style of writing, with genuine vulnerability and the wisdom he shares through his life experiences. And I’ve always been drawn to learning from those who are forging the path ahead, from older generations. Perhaps it’s a youngest child trait, but it’s a familiar method for me wherein I observe, interpret, and then try to apply any insights to my own path. I deeply appreciate those who are willing to candidly share their life lessons. </p>
<p>In this book, Palmer, now 80 years old, writes, “Looking back, I’m awed by the way that embracing everything — from what I got right to what I got wrong — invites the grace of wholeness… Wholeness does not mean perfection — it means embracing brokenness as an integral part of life.” How true that is, as I look around at the messiness of my own life… the authentic goodness, the patterns desperate for change, and the beautiful presence of Love throughout it all that is available constantly. </p>
<p>As we get ready to bid farewell to 2019 in just a few days, let us reflect upon both the blessings and the challenges of this year lived. I aim to embrace it for all it had to offer, the “grace of wholeness” it brought into my life. And in a spirit of gratitude I can then release it, trusting the best of it is embedded in my soul eternally... as the journey continues. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256532
2019-12-20T14:45:00-06:00
2020-03-20T13:43:34-06:00
Turn On a Light
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/00ae06a64f7d9de2ea9d7d302e0501d2663ec63c/original/photo-1515245696852-ae418cad9b62.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Here we are at the darkest time of year, in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. I realized recently that, in all of my preparations of cleaning, decor, presents, and menus, my key daily spiritual practices got edged out. When I finally paused to check in with myself this week, I drew a blank. I found myself sitting in quiet darkness, wondering when the soul would show up and what it would teach me. </p>
<p>I thought about what I could do to connect again with that part of myself needing attention. As I waited in open prayer it finally occurred to me that all I had to do, to get out of the darkness, was turn on a “light.” That “light” could be opening up an encouraging book, calling a dear friend, journaling from my heart, playing guitar, singing from my soul, taking a walk in nature, and so forth. </p>
<p>We all have ways to access the light… people, places, exercises and rituals. These are the sources of visibility in our lives… the metaphorical light switches, flames, sunshine and stars… that help us see and tend to our souls. And for those in the Christian tradition, the light that God bestowed upon the world through the life of Jesus comes to mind, as we remember again this time of year that the God is on the way to meet us… every time. </p>
<p>Where do you find yourself at this dark time of year? What forms of light can you call upon to illuminate your path? </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256533
2019-12-13T14:45:00-06:00
2020-03-20T13:45:01-06:00
Stay Close ~ A Song
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/182322ad0f17fd25ad4afe9cd148253f75af68a9/original/photo-1444703686981-a3abbc4d4fe3.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The featured song this month is the final track on the “Calling Deep” album, “Stay Close.” “Stay Close” expresses comfort in being spiritually linked with someone when physical proximity is impossible, for whatever reason. It’s an acknowledgement of bonded souls and the understanding that we all will rest in Love eventually. </p>
<p>To hear “Stay Close,” please use the attached link: http://www.tammywinn.com/music/a/calling_deep It is the 12th track on the “Calling Deep” album. May you be inspired! </p>
<p>“Stay Close” <br>© Tammy Winn </p>
<p>Eventually <br>Eventually <br>Eventually <br>I will be as you are </p>
<p>All I have is time to wait <br>What is time but eternal change <br>Yet in my heart you’re never far <br>So it seems love is a constant space </p>
<p>Stay close <br>Stay close <br>Like a second skin your never far away <br>Stay close <br>Stay close <br>Commune with me in every other way </p>
<p>Chemistry <br>Exposes you <br>And what I feel <br>No less is true </p>
<p>We linger on <br>Like a song <br>As it is <br>Surely love will too </p>
<p>Stay close <br>Stay close <br>Like a second skin your never far away <br>Stay close <br>Stay close <br>Commune with me in every other way </p>
<p>Eventually <br>Eventually <br>Eventually <br>I will be as you are</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6256549
2019-12-07T14:45:00-06:00
2020-03-20T13:46:02-06:00
Waiting With Mary
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/a32bbd84763f1a2579a7728a3766f9a1a8e96e69/original/photo-1552766990-7be4a2a79fc9.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Advent, for me, is often a reflection upon the life of Miriam (Hebrew version of the name Mary), mother of Jesus. Though Jesus is the central figure of the Christian tradition, the one whose life we celebrate at Christmas, Mary has been called the Theotokos, or God-bearer. She is the most exalted female religious figure in Christianity, described by many as the greatest of all saints. She is said to have had a quality of spiritual purity and inner autonomy (i.e. a virgin). </p>
<p>In the book “Truly Our Sister,” author Elizabeth A. Johnson explores the evolution of what Mary has come to mean to Christians through both history and theology. The bottom line, however, is that Mary was a fascinating woman on a spiritual journey. She is an ancestor of ours in faith, who, like all of us, lived between challenge and grace. </p>
<p>When we imagine her only as the Queen of Heaven, we might forget that Mary did not have an easy life. She lived in a poor and oppressed Jewish peasant culture. Her unwed pregnancy was scandalous by societal judgement, making her vulnerable to threats of punishment by law. She had a very real experience of pregnancy —excitement, discomfort, and labor — in an extremely difficult setting. Then, after the relief of birthing a healthy baby boy, she raised her child as most mother’s do – nurturing, protecting, teaching, and loving. And with the acute pain of vulnerability parents know too well, she sent her son into the world… come what may. </p>
<p>Despite the many challenges, Mary exemplifies to me what it means to cooperate with grace. In Scripture we find her proclamation of good news — filled with praise, gratitude, and trust in God’s blessings — right after unexpectedly learning that she will be a mother (Luke 1:46-55). She sees herself as a friend of God, faithful as she chooses Love over fear. And God does not disappoint as One who stands with with the marginalized and outcasts of society by using her life, and that of her son, to forever change the world for the better. </p>
<p>I like to look upon Mary as a wonderful “soul sister” in the communion of saints. This time of year I try to wait with her, in hope, for the light that is to come… for the ways in which God is needing to be born in me, again. How might we call upon the spirit of Miriam this Advent, to help us cooperate more fully with the grace unfolding in our own lives? May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122205
2019-11-27T18:00:00-06:00
2020-03-11T11:09:15-06:00
Practicing Gratefulness
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/e7f79905031f39de2a9e404354ab773521b27a7f/original/photo-1528938102132-4a9276b8e320.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Our family has a tradition each night, just before bedtime, where we share what we are grateful for from the day that was just lived. As we recount our many blessings, it often leads to great sharing with one another and connecting in ways that multiply those blessings. One thing that is beautiful to experience in this process is the expectation that we will indeed find blessings in every day. There is always something for which we can be grateful<span class="text_exposed_show">. In fact, often it’s the case that there is much more we could say than the time we have allotted for this exercise, so we simply conclude with, “…and everything else I’m forgetting.”</span></p>
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<p>Practicing gratefulness has gotten me through some of the worst times of my life, such as enduring a broken heart or the death of a loved one. I recall one time when it took all I had to write just a few things down each day, but it was that small list that gave me a thread of hope that life was ultimately good and somehow I would heal.</p>
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<p>Then there are the times where practicing gratefulness has helped me capture some of the greatest moments in life, like watching a new baby develop or gathering for a special occasion. By naming these joys out loud, or writing them down in a journal, they seem to get further embedded into the “cherished" file of my heart. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When we take time to notice, appreciate, and celebrate our many blessings we savor the best there is to enjoy in life. And as we intentionally look for what is right in the world, we tend to draw in more of that goodness. Practicing gratefulness daily is like taking a vitamin for our souls, only it’s nourishment is endless. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>What are you grateful for today? May you be inspired!</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122204
2019-11-20T18:00:00-06:00
2020-03-11T11:07:22-06:00
Attach to Love
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/536ef767b58ed2819f5d602903bf0cdfd88fc329/original/photo-1518834107812-67b0b7c58434.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Several years ago a wise member of my extended family recommended I participate in an international program called Al-Anon. This is because someone we mutually love was dealing with the disease of alcoholism, and Al-Anon offers support for people whose lives have been affected by another’s drinking. Thankfully our loved one is in recovery these days, yet I continue to attend Al-Anon regularly because I have found it to be such a helpful program in general<span class="text_exposed_show">. With a spiritual (not religious) undertone, this community assists individuals in bringing positive changes to their lives regardless of what the alcoholic does. And I’ve come to find one can substitute “alcoholic” for just about any other challenging situation in life. Simply put, the program helps quiet the dysfunctional areas in our midsts and, in turn, gives rise to a healthier, happier, more peaceful way of being.</span></p>
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<p>One of the tools Al-Anon shares for achieving and maintaining serenity is to detach with love from other people’s’ problematic behavior. This isn’t about judgment, it’s about allowing another the dignity of their own experience, whatever the results may be. When we detach with love, we let someone be who they are while protecting ourselves from their consequences. Detaching with love is also about taking the focus off of the other person and redirecting it back to one’s self. Instead of spending time trying to manage another’s issues, one can apply that time to enhancing his or her own life, and discover ways to thrive despite the circumstances.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“With love” is a key part of the phrase "detach with love,” for it implies this is a loving act toward all involved. Often the best way to love another is to detach from their behaviors or attitudes that are damaging to us (e.g. hot tempered, passive aggressive, jealous, manipulative, self-righteous, controlling, and many more you can imagine.). We detach from these traits because they don’t reflect the person's real self anyway, rather they reveal untreated illness of one kind or another at work. When we separate out the dysfunctional pieces from one's true nature, we can remember the goodness which intrinsically resides in them — a holiness that is each persons’s authentic self. This helps us to not take the poor words or actions of another personally, and it also helps us practice self-forgiveness for the times our own bad behavior gets the best of us. Our choice then, for others as well as ourselves, is to detach from that which harms and instead attach to love.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Detaching with love in order to attach to love is ultimately an act of compassion toward another as well as toward ourselves. It requires intentional awareness and discipline to practice this principle, yet the tranquility and joy it offers is worth the effort. May you be inspired!</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122203
2019-11-14T18:00:00-06:00
2020-05-31T11:12:52-06:00
Let Us Not Forget Our Resiliency
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/2173ea041ada905a7f7cd87b1afe0ca7a41aa2ac/original/photo-1523825086357-39d9158d4ba8.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Recently I was reminded of a church program my mother attended and told me about years ago. As she sat in a circle with other participants, the leader asked each person to anonymously write down the toughest problems facing them right now. Then they were instructed to fold up their paper and put it in a bowl. The leader mixed up the papers and passed the bowl around the circle. Each person was to select a paper and privately read the pro<span class="text_exposed_show">blems on it. Then the leader asked, “Would you rather have these problems or the ones you submitted?” Every single person wanted their own problems back.</span></p>
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<p>Don’t let social media fronts fool you. No one is without problems. You could trade infidelity for addiction. You could trade mental illness for special needs. You could trade unemployment for chronic illness. Whatever the difficulty, we humans have a pretty good capacity for adjusting to the challenges put before us. Eventually we cope and manage. We often don’t give ourselves enough credit though for how we’ve adapted. Yet, perhaps when considering a trade with someone else, we can catch a glimpse of how well we are doing in handling our problems… so well that we would not want to make an exchange.</p>
<p>When in the valleys that come with the territory of living, let us not forget our resiliency! We can choose to trust the Spirit within to guide us in finding our way. </p>
<p>May you be inspired!</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122202
2019-11-05T18:00:00-06:00
2020-03-11T11:18:27-06:00
Set Apart ~ A Song
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/09cfa6fbff0acd520b99b797c4a4d248127760ad/original/photo-1534330207526-8e81f10ec6fc.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>The word “holiness” means to be set apart, in other words truly distinct and special. I wrote the song, “Set Apart,” in response to observing some people I care about having what I would call disposable relationships. It’s painful when something held sacred by one is treated as less than precious by another. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A broader view of these lyrics is that when we make our values expendable, when we betray our own good senses to make self-destructive choices, w<span class="text_exposed_show">e enter into an emptiness that risks sliding into reverencing nothing. And that disregard doesn’t just harm us, but reaches others, whether intended or not. So, let “Set Apart” remind us of the need for keeping some things holy in our lives. </span></p>
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<p>To hear “Set Apart,” please use the attached link: <br><a data-ft="{" data-imported="1" data-lynx-mode="origin" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tammyannwinn.com%2Fmusic%2Fa%2Fcalling_deep%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR1ColtcH745JUeF3yi5CPD5xRLVRQD-B7VW5k3oIPbFDw4_RJYWXp9TOxI&h=AT0sZCyX1FG2mkqhZ41yTwKBr8rB59aZY0hmdd-ZiaGA4CH2NFdouYddxhUoPXx_oGLnCgMnODqrHD8SVFJ_TH1yYLO5zf_r31PZ0ZPqWxkwAEX6mf309op5eXbseIaOOuYarSGMRFmwRjDuO0dFrIi0FnDMF9SjfB-Z_GVtkecr96xgHF-vUiIv70F50UM7_NxZ9_rJ0632HtHkLEZAQZckbUjlgsCQmzS2LQaEKL9efLoG86FPehL7_qU84Am60NCv-nEsuoyEAELY7x6COrng6hSJ7DZ86waPUM8-CWR7terGtAAT14r3esCjin_WygQht2J29oeFY64xim1L_LI7tXlcLLWQFk8egckBUp0wRD2p77iG6Yg-7KWvcXHO0-eCB5rvIzuzgwcTp2U5FOIvJGqXOZzMQT1_j_hcXk9HvhGhPwEKJ8J1PRcChVI_KxS2PVJWp2LWR1rYFao-RfqVw9YhVbHfXL3ZjptTL-3tlcA7T7Y6Ac6EKQDkkSQdCknS7MFWeoxMmIni9WeM3ZuRtiUwFx0Nzaq7M9_H8mMu5TZ33bcVY-ZcV6DQ6fbi6TQB1JgyJYdOMZmhhS6c6HTecZXlcGemL_3wDW1nB_Eu-0M_B6RLB6UDEicjOAfseL-J9nk" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.tammyannwinn.com/music/a/calling_deep</a><br>It is the 10th track on the “Calling Deep” album. May you be inspired!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Set Apart” <br>© Tammy Winn</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He thought it made sense<br>But did he really think it through<br>That the movements of his life<br>Would leave empty for the proof</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He tried to justify<br>But his rationale was weak<br>Like the will that he betrayed<br>False security</p>
<p> </p>
<p>How tricky could the data be<br>That he could pretend not to see</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sacred; did he ever know<br>Jaded; is all he holds<br>So sad; the mistreated<br>Such disregard<br>Is by no means<br>Set apart</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Caresses in the dark<br>All lined up in a row<br>To look him in the eye<br>And witness status quo</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The damage had been done<br>No second chance to find<br>The freedom he evades<br>Stays locked up in his mind</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The markings of accountable<br>Will always be residual </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sacred; did he ever know<br>Jaded; is all he holds<br>So sad; the mistreated<br>Such disregard<br>Is by no means<br>Set apart</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And his full potential is now compromised<br>By self-serving ways and petty lies<br>You can clear the slate to try again <br>But what’s forever lost is what might have been</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sacred; did he ever know<br>When Jaded; is all he holds<br>So sad; the mistreated<br>Such disregard<br>Is by no means<br>Set apart</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122201
2019-10-30T18:00:00-06:00
2020-03-11T11:22:31-06:00
Invitations to Deep Love
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/21b9522dc98ed0822c609221de14965cd0c2a813/original/photo-1461532257246-777de18cd58b.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>For the past many weeks I have been going to the gym to walk the track while my daughters participate in a volleyball class there. When circling around, I often notice a mother doing laps with her two daughters, one of them disabled. I marvel at the mom’s determination to get this child moving, despite the challenge it looks to be to guide her along the track. I also admire the support the sibling offers her mother in this process. You can tell <span class="text_exposed_show">that together they have a single focus, to offer the disabled girl a chance to move her body and get some exercise — to give her the best quality of life they can. It appears to be a family priority and their commitment of compassion is beautiful to witness.</span></p>
<p> </p>
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<p>Perhaps the mom and sibling would like to be doing other things with their time had they another reality, but instead they seem to be clear and at peace about the work that is before them — this particular invitation in their lives to love deeply. Our culture sometimes distorts love by equating it to only good feelings, easy roads, and traveling light. In my experience that can often be the start of a journey but rarely the fullness of it over time. Instead there is something more meaningful, more powerful, about love than what comfort affords us.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Too often we miss going where we are be summoned by love because we are fixated on what our egos think we want, rather than on who our souls are asking us to become. How much more serenity might our day to day living hold if we surrendered to love whatever situation lies before us. What invitations to deep love have we received in our lives, and how might we embrace them wholeheartedly? May you be inspired!</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122200
2019-10-24T18:00:00-06:00
2021-07-10T11:27:09-06:00
Be Your Creator’s Creation
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/1f269b8ba392a7c6c31263af570319888bf88330/original/photo-1493106641515-6b5631de4bb9.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>This week my husband had a surgery. In anticipation of it, I was thinking of all the people involved who would make it happen, such as the administrative staff, the nurses, the anesthesiologist team, the plastic surgeon, assisting doctor, and more. I thought about how nicely things come together when each person does their part to offer their speciality. I’m grateful for that for obvious reasons, and also because I could never see myself in man<span class="text_exposed_show">y of those roles. I’m not inclined to to be a surgeon, for example, but I sure appreciate that some people are and have chosen to follow that path.</span></p>
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<p> </p>
<p>This leads me to think about vocation, and how the world functions better, I believe, the more people live out their callings. For me, looking back, it was clear early on that I was drawn to spirituality and theology, as well as writing and singing. I’ve had various jobs over the years, and usually, with each position, there was a connection to one or more of those areas. Yet one doesn’t need to be paid to live out aspects of their vocation, nice as that may be. Rather, to me, vocation first and foremost is one’s unique way of being in the world in which intrinsic gifts are used and shared. Whether or not you make a dime at it isn’t the point. Whether or not you receive any public accolades for it does not matter. You live out your vocation because it is who you have been designed to be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s a privilege to be in a position where one can contemplate individual talents and skills, and make choices about how to contribute to society, because there are many who live in survival mode, just doing what needs to get done to put food on the table. For others, however, excuses are made into imagined hurdles. Many of us tend to get stuck on a hamster wheel of routines and responsibilities and forget the obligation we have to our Creator to be the creation intended in us. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And just think…<br>if all those who wanted to be scientists could… <br>if all those who wanted to be artists could… <br>if all those who wanted to be teachers could…<br>if all those who wanted to run a small business could… <br>if all those who wanted to work the earth could…<br>if all those who wanted to be engineers could…<br>if all those who wanted to be musicians could…<br>if all those who wanted to run a non-profit could…<br>if all those who wanted to work in technology could…<br>if all those who wanted to be dancers could…<br>if all those who wanted to be healers could…<br>if all those who wanted to be... (name what’s in your heart)... could… what a beautiful balance this planet would have! </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There is so much untapped potential in people. So how might we lift any barriers keeping us, or others, from living as we were fashioned to be? How can we embrace a way of being that fosters joy because it calls us to be authentically alive? How can you bless the world by being your Creator’s Creation? May you be inspired!</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122199
2019-10-17T18:00:00-06:00
2020-03-11T11:24:12-06:00
Extending Peace to Patterns
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/c11d5b7196f4de086c8dfcb50d86e3fddeba8ec8/original/1b0cc699.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>Like most human beings, I have my share of patterns in thought and behavior. Plenty are favorable, and many are not. Some seem intrinsic, as in a default setting. Others can be traced back to life experience that conditioned me, influences that stuck with me for better or worse. Whether nature or nurture, the positive patterns form a wonderful blueprint I can count on for living well… </p>
<p> </p>
<p>…But then there are those patterns that I’d rather not have, such as letting paperwork pile up (again)… or foregoing workouts when unexpected adversity strikes my life (which is probably when I need them most)… or the thought trap that time is running out — interrupting the presence of joyful feelings with a sense of eventual loss or change. Sometimes patterns like these can seem too stubborn to overcome, regardless of how often they make the New Year’s resolutions list.</p>
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<p> </p>
<p>At the same time, with clear intention, awareness and lots of effort, I can and have flipped some of the negative patterns in my life around. There’s no guarantee for success in this process. Often it’s a two-steps-forward-one-step-back situation. As clutter coach Kerri Richardson (<a class="profileLink" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/page.php?id=164448957907&extragetparams=%7B%22__tn__%22%3A%22%2CdK-R-R%22%2C%22eid%22%3A%22ARDRbsQyIpJjYls-JelF9XcOfU6QU5ioK9BOWx9YpJ9S94lOaoW5lOt9ByhDUN3-nzxt0NrSjs-fz5Zp%22%2C%22fref%22%3A%22mentions%22%7D" data-hovercard-prefer-more-content-show="1" data-imported="1" href="https://www.facebook.com/KerriCoach/?__tn__=K-R&eid=ARDRbsQyIpJjYls-JelF9XcOfU6QU5ioK9BOWx9YpJ9S94lOaoW5lOt9ByhDUN3-nzxt0NrSjs-fz5Zp&fref=mentions&__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARAB88iW252sdTSAY0rrrBhWvn-QE7nzjwapEymodRwFpbBO-jqErZLm0X4CWTUk2fD1EarblALS8b9walPYw4IAQ3OH6G0Dc7GQdmKwcdgGOayySCjr3tokOoUHGYWdF3z-uKgLWR2j5bBKuib0PZyxuoUuCQPAWuF2lrOzhGPoGN6dlJQSfQ9fX-WbjV8cPgSANdGbaUiZmvdevu0J1YxeLAB8yi8vfjYJEq9W4ZunajkMwj8VREP3iiY-O2ZNlar4t_FxnuIxAxPIbJL-fs92-xB3tH0r20fLkuSGg1WeLgwiAkf0qEuV5wVwwuh6oxyMB44HPyb1AXW__abz1ERnTg">https://www.facebook.com/KerriCoach/</a>) says, you just have to become good at getting started. And boy does it feel great to see real change take root over time. Yet, when you’ve really tried but failed again, it can be equally as discouraging. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Last week it occurred to me that when a negative pattern reemerges, I’d be wise to not compound any sense of failure by mentally beating myself up over it. I can choose to look at the matter in a different way. Instead of resisting it, or giving up altogether, I can accept that, presently, this is just a pattern that’s still with me. As a part of the whole of me, it too is worthy of love. In other words, I can change the way I think about the pattern in the first place and extend peace to it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This isn’t to be confused with complacency. Instead it’s allowing my psyche a space wherein I can acknowledge that something still needs work and that's ok. The fact that it has not come together so far is not due to an incapability or lack of trying. It’s merely because I just haven’t found my way through it… yet. So when I walk the labyrinth of challenging patterns in my life, I can begin a new, uplifting pattern of acceptance that I am a merely a work in progress, like everyone else.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>How might you extend peace to the negative patterns in your life? May you be inspired!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>P.S. If you liked this post, please let me know by liking it, sharing it, or making a comment below. Thank you!</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122198
2019-10-08T18:00:00-06:00
2020-03-11T11:25:09-06:00
Time to Listen
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/6dea54467e40b97e2d2d909afee6dbac5a0ac935/original/unsplash-photo-dog.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>It’s taken me a while to understand this, and still I resist occasionally, but I’ve come to believe that when illness or injury knocks me down for the count it means a time has come for me to listen. Listen to what? To the needs of not only my body, but of my mind and soul as well. Listen to that which has been trying to reach me; that which I have neglected, avoided, or ignored. When I am in a state of utter vulnerability, Spirit has my attention in a way<span class="text_exposed_show"> like no other. It is in these powerless moments that I’d be wise to tune in and try to learn something, to grow toward wellness and an improved experience of life. Illness and injury are great opportunities to take an inventory of our lives and make adjustments where needed.</span></p>
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<p> </p>
<p>For example, I get migraines occasionally, and they are awful. They typically have stages like a tornado. First there is the migraine “watch” when conditions are right for one to occur. If I pay attention to the cues I can sometimes get ahead of it (with the decision to disappoint others and improve my self-care) to avoid it going full-blown. It’s hard to do this at times, to not try to push through, especially in a culture that does not support enough the use of sick days or the observance of some kind of Sabbath time. If the migraine reaches the “warning” stage, it means one has “hit the ground,” at which point I’m simply forced to surrender immediately because I can no longer function. It is then that I am at the mercy of my body’s path to healing. The migraine’s time frame will not consider any will of mine to override it. I simply must be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just being can be really difficult in a society that values doing to an unhealthy degree. Author Robert Holden calls this problem “Destination Addiction” (<a data-ft="{" data-imported="1" data-lynx-mode="origin" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.robertholden.com%2Fblog%2Fwhat-is-destination-addiction%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR3VEWX7rdga1gHq5RTNfsej5pKPbZ9vNX6Z3fVWQNo1kSentQPQMiduoAQ&h=AT3XjH0PY0aJZIpszFV3cC4AMR2LgNSEoj-wjbyyjJPpDplkKO90TcpkWtUhgwd8puK3NP_Nn7ybhQ_-BkDh7eFQcyQcGfe9xvOwREJGV4MehJBfMJZMS5ZNWLhVLStIaM0uoYiwCyfjqg7-7I98Js5VOPFU6NcNJQSoN2OMVfz2IITaXbf11GsI4kDkgaWqX7bFMAF3GEa-EpiIFAeES2pcZjTHCNO4FfEaSlQw_YIe6HrwWYEuW8A_fgqNgiWYv3MX8qCKKc-4LyiCH-UuDZ-A_Wncg6PAeh0YaYCyfFOOzIXWdNbkXxYOT0_ywIGYSZZ4TZcIIdB8xsua4vNGr009Ea6rD0ESUERkze-RvK63g0sUrnQZ_3iLVZDESlZPOkN4FwTrNT3iAuFRF4O_PkLn_gi_k-fZNSU-9Jn4rPYjmXG1WdPN7hz7Wvp0BR9upazsW8A5lqYNCS_afaIaSZpo51R01mm7yb4AL3rWNgjI41qBSHaRThKYR3FehXMhhTapXyT06dj3C8bPykjdQ3OStcZkILDccflPb0uXVXQ5brupoU2M0Q2e_52RWPOPaJPVRCJOE7zYG7fXUfrTWG62ndfDDhw7wKTZlsTzAlSdJbYB-dVlmhIsWKl-NnIKMHiGrEA" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://www.robertholden.com/…/what-is-destination-addicti…/</a>), and he names the sad truth I see repeatedly in myself and others: “Our goal is not to enjoy the day, it is to get through the day.” And what does illness and injury have to stay about this? Not so fast. Rest or collapse. Find a healthier balance. There is a better way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Healing is a patient process that holds tremendous intelligence. When we sit with the illness or injury and listen deeply to it’s lesson for us we can improve not only the present circumstances, but we can also make a path forward that offers a better quality of life over all. In our physically limiting times, let us not miss the compelling invitations from that aspect of ourselves which is beyond the physical. Let us uncover the opportunity to grow spiritually.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What have you learned, or what might you learn, from illness and injury? May you be inspired!</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122197
2019-10-02T18:00:00-06:00
2020-03-20T14:17:48-06:00
Yellow Wood ~ A Song
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/921afcd24b559284b76ba73026c759b7003a24d6/original/unsplash-photo-yellow-wood.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The concert crowd pleaser, “Yellow Wood,” is this month’s featured song. In this tune, I play off of the famous Robert Frost poem, “The Road Not Taken,” and add to that a pun for good measure. The choice before the subject is about how to process a relationship that has been misleading and confusing. The realization is that the road of disappointment need not be inevitable. At any point, one can return to the decision spot to regroup, reboot, stand <span class="text_exposed_show">tall, and choose instead the road which beckons a deeper authenticity; the road less traveled. It’s worth it for, as Mr. Frost indicated, such a choice can make all the difference. You can listen to “Yellow Wood” on my website. It is the ninth track on the “Calling Deep” album: <a data-ft="{" data-imported="1" data-lynx-mode="origin" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tammywinn.com%2Fmusic%2Fa%2Fcalling_deep%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR3wCTPlMsmLu2Uw3EJq8TuWS1p2kIUSv_rBoC02e0FGhZcTUbQABPoVw8s&h=AT3DVpt1nzG-D-_QouN0MyNdiBOz6bodXSsUQ655hkX8jC3AD-Z0rbSVPuHNtv_7NvUJAt9HUbKp1iSEHckXO8Pxyg_QgvXyc5NprFPjEKbRKmLnSVlTB7HDEZxojz2LW5tqqOB3xCoF6RubV7bKo15NPNa5gIka1O2TsrfzPQMGKwqJ8hXyKEnKxSbbpUf5zEJy3V48_hrhLzZOc1s9dNtSoNcabSYjajwBi2_SWPTUPuvBGgFicAjM3iSTgWNcvhlBKKOYzfr7mnixpBy2h-xNt7iLuPc0ebjyFxurrbPPq-iYV6GYVzQ-dxMyTCQsta3R97iw_3qUSghTubE4wUKSdoPROMg8t1YWkpQ81kVs8HJLk_BZQK0CjPM32Xsy-7d_6T0C4nCg5RmYIGAO-R52T1yeWB0giygfA5l8O3SATMbTxWR0RSksxh_pKTSlI-gMU_IMKC5oG7jdFvtOKAkEUvVJiU8Fzi0rnkcOHihh2zpgtJ4q8J_5mCm0h0xGhs840kYh0IGNLh7OTdzVtwLF0zYwOI8-8dOoQlhj87yOKSI1XArcAa_VTnK56QzBUFRBlD9RWs7E2mTs4njtzRXl_Vh7I779vXzSh3Wt6cILk-huSFPd5T5S7NdFZ_UwGPL4WbA" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.tammywinn.com/music/a/calling_deep</a> </span>May you be inspired!</p>
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<p> </p>
<p>Yellow Wood
<br>© Tammy Winn
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
<br>And there you stood before my eyes<br>
I trusted you as you took my hand<br>
But your promised land was in disguise
<br>Woah oh, yellow wood
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
Four steps down your push-pull path<br>
I headed back to the base<br>
It’s not up to me to rule you out<br>
But I’m all about saving face<br>
Oh woah oh, yellow wood
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yellow wood; I won’t
<br>Honey, you know I want to walk with you<br>
But I’ve been there before
<br>Yellow wood; I can’t
<br>Baby, I’m gonna have to pass
<br>Hold out for a love that lasts<br>
As I should
<br>Yellow wood</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I tried to reconcile the past<br>
It didn’t last; I’m back to blue<br>
I’m gonna try and let it go<br>
What I know about you<br>
Woah oh, yellow wood
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
You seem to fail to recognize
<br>All the lies your actions said<br>
It’s hard for me to clearly see<br>
That part of me could be misled
<br>Oh woah oh, yellow wood
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yellow wood; I won’t<br>
Honey, you know I want to walk with you<br>
But I’ve been there before<br>
Yellow wood; I can’t
<br>Baby, I’m gonna have to pass
<br>Hold out for a love that lasts
<br>As I should
<br>Yellow wood</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
I am the road less traveled by<br>
In time you will see
<br>The fulfillment that you jeopardized
<br>By your hypocrisy……………….
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yellow wood; I won’t
<br>Honey, you know I want to walk with you<br>
But I’ve been there before
<br>Yellow wood; I can’t
<br>Baby, I’m gonna have to pass
<br>Hold out for a love that lasts<br>
As I should
<br>Yellow wood</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122196
2019-09-25T18:00:00-06:00
2020-09-03T11:44:06-06:00
The Graces Will Come
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/397ef543e66ccf5bbd163717c47d90372db93275/original/71137860-2956262874388942-1261335640323129344-o.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />This week I’ve been made acutely aware (again) of how just one moment can alter so much so fast. Sometimes it’s for the better, sometimes it's for the worse, and maybe sometimes it’s just transformational. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>This past weekend my family encountered such a moment of change, the bad kind. My husband, an elite runner, endured a traumatic injury that will keep him away from his passion for a while. We’re not sure what kind of comeback he might make; we o<span class="text_exposed_show">nly know it is our aim that he does. And, in the midst of it all, words of St. Paul come to mind… about how our struggles can reveal something glorious in time. The Graces will come.</span></p>
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<p> </p>
<p>And what is Grace to me? Grace is the good that escapes from the bad. I don’t believe God orchestrates our lives to give us hardships for some greater purpose; that’s never resonated with my image of love. Instead I find God at work in the profound responses to our suffering. And like a compassionate midwife at a complicated labor, God shows up to help us birth some meaning from it all. We get the privilege to determine what that meaning can be. I know my husband will find his way through this dark chapter, and I look forward to seeing what he claims and reclaims along the way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yes, good can show up as some kind of answer to, or byproduct of, suffering. It doesn’t make the bad worth going through, but it at least gives us something to hold on to while we make our way to the light again. May you be inspired!</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122195
2019-09-19T18:00:00-06:00
2020-05-31T11:13:31-06:00
Nine Steps Toward a Creative Solution
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/b0d654b9d53f1abb705073d9239057b67ce6c8d4/original/photo-1539722833765-af2db79db72d.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Years ago a friend told me there are at least six solutions to any given problem. I’m not sure where he got that theory, but it inspires me to think outside of the box when facing what seems to be an either-or situation. An example of this type of problem is when my husband and I had to select a legal guardian for our children in the event that, God forbid, anything happens to us both at once. The dilemma was that, despite loving and appreciating both sides of our family very much, we each wanted our own sibling in that role. It looked like a choice with just two options. By getting creative, however, we were able to uncover multiple possibilities that could honor both of our desires. </p>
<p>This week, I’ve been mulling over a different challenge before me. I reminded and encouraged myself that there must be many remedies available. To discover them, I need to apply a process I’ve synthesized, from various experiences along the way, that helps me navigate tricky matters. I thought I’d share it with you too:</p>
<p>Nine Steps Toward a Creative Solution:</p>
<p>1. Determine what is the actual problem. Get clear on the heart of the matter. What are your thoughts and beliefs about the situation; why is it a problem for you?</p>
<p>2. Consult the people involved and your best thinkers — trusted friends who have skills for reasoning things out. The key to finding many alternatives is to engage many minds.</p>
<p>3. Ask everyone to do a stream-of-consciousness exercise wherein they list any ideas that come to mind for how this problem might be solved. Questions to help foster this process are: How can this situation be improved upon? What options have I seen others try to remedy a similar situation? What is the most loving thing to do for all involved, including myself? This first inventory is private, so feel free to let the imagination run wild.</p>
<p>4. Next, look at what you’ve written down and decide what can be forwarded to a master list that will include everyone’s best ideas. </p>
<p>5. Make that master list and take a look at all the offerings on the table. If any hybrids emerge, where two or more ideas come together to make another option, add those to the master list as well. </p>
<p>6. Have an open discussion with those consulted about what’s been suggested, and strike from the master list anything that is truly objectionable for you or anyone else involved. What’s left will be all the worthwhile possibilities.</p>
<p>7. Sit with these remaining opportunities. Prayerfully consider which option brings the most serenity all around, and continue to narrow down the master list accordingly. </p>
<p>8. Select one idea you are willing to try. If needed, set a time frame for how long this idea gets a chance before reevaluating it. If there is no consensus on an idea to try, put the matter on the shelf for a limited period of time, and commit to a date when you can try this process again.</p>
<p>9. Celebrate any progress made! </p>
<p>So, how creative can you be in resolving a challenging issue in your life? May you be inspired!</p>
<p>P.S. If you liked this post, please let me know by liking it, sharing it, or making a comment below. Thank you!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122194
2019-09-12T18:00:00-06:00
2020-09-03T11:46:36-06:00
The Benefits of Religious Literacy
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/94a0c858e26abd1ab5e0adb7639173fe42f973b9/original/70125979-2930199433661953-3543417494590980096-n.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />This week I started teaching religious education at our local parish. I was asked why I do it, and there are many answers to that question. One that jumped out at me, however, is that I think people benefit from having a language with which to come together and share thoughts about the Divine. We all have our own experiences of spirituality, but how do we talk about them — how do we grow along the journey of life, if we don’t have a vocabulary with which to communicate these ideas to one another?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Religions offer us many languages, such as Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and many more. And within each language there can be numerous “dialects.” For example, in Christianity there is Catholic, Anglican, Eastern Orthodox, Lutheran, Baptist, Methodist, and Pentecostal, to name just a few. My primary spiritual language is Christian, and more specifically Roman Catholic. From early on I was taught this view of the world, with it’s terminology and culture of rituals. This is the expression I know best, and so this is from where I start when communicating about matters of faith. I am not a practicing Catholic because I think it is exclusively right or the only way to access the Holy Spirit. I’m Catholic because I was born to a Catholic mother who, with my Protestant father’s agreement, raised me Catholic. Had I been born to a Jewish mother, I am fairly certain I’d be a practicing Jew.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With my primary spiritual language of Catholic Christianity I can contemplate, discuss, and embrace the mysteries of God. It is similar to my being born and raised in America, where the primary language is English. It is with English that I have moved through academia, that I understand most fully, and that I can best relay my thoughts. In the same way, it is with Catholic Christianity that I have been able to draw from a rich tradition of philosophers, theologians, and mystics to grow in comprehending my relationship to the Source of All Creation. It is also within the Catholic Christian tradition that I have been taught practical applications of religion, practices that reinforce the value of living an ethical life. Without a primary language, be it secular or religious, how do we deepen our comprehension of a subject? How do we convey what really matters to us? How do we connect with others around the many aspects of our lives? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>What’s more, from a primary language we have a structure that can assist us in learning other languages. And as we do this, we build bridges into other ways of life that can deeply impact our own for the better. Learning another religion’s lexicon, customs, and beliefs can serve to expand our thinking and insights about the Sacred. After all, if we're going to be talking about the Limitless God of the Universe, let's not limit ourselves. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, how might you enhance your spiritual journey by improving your religious literacy — whether by becoming more fluent in your own language or by learning a new one? May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122193
2019-09-04T18:00:00-06:00
2020-09-03T11:48:58-06:00
Nothing But Love ~ A Song
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/d89f61ce3ed3e23b9c13ddef4dfaab7e728df74b/original/69639750-2914241685257728-240437191262601216-n.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />This month’s featured song, “Nothing But Love,” was prompted by a relationship wherein one person was recovering from emotional trauma while the other was on standby, ready to love. In this story, the path toward healing for the wounded one is to “come out to the fire” and warm himself. In other words, love himself back into wellness first. Once this happens, he will be able to open the door of intimacy and accept love from someone else.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The message here is an invitation. We can certainly help foster a supportive and caring environment for one another, when recuperating from a heartache. This is very important and incredibly useful. Ultimately, however, no one can mend our emotional wounds for us. It can take a while to learn, or remember, how to love ourselves, especially after experiencing mistreatment. Yet when we actively practice living from a place of intrinsic worthiness, of choosing to see our own preciousness, we begin to know (again) what it means to sincerely love ourselves. It is then that we discover the wellspring of love that had been surrounding us and reaching for us all the while.</p>
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<p>You can stream “Nothing But Love” for free on my website at: <a data-ft="{" data-imported="1" data-lynx-mode="origin" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tammywinn.com%2Fmusic%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR2P4ziZ_IendoIqAXJ_o72zRyPiZdTOxAQ4mdx1LjQA_yFGdZwqYNZhcsE&h=AT0g7xKDjm6sS0gdfBgCJXqrBXsXC2QW5Lg_azJjFME4yE10S7nsCMuQA__6eKNykFQg4y_n6OMGsTX6creeD1JdzSjrGKb79WuvC5iYBLXwG91mjp2gBpW_nDFpcoG_lmKnPtAbZERK7-RnOZoNlb43awegu-pPOoQBf_Fc-HH30RqTuryJY-YPHsIETt_i0OFJa8D6w40w7ehGWr_qbj4ACCVSuNGQVkS0Jwxs4b4JTmaZG299Kmjnz4C8Tp2wVoh51R5N_PX_9-Hzkgx7wfiQbLf4FrrbtETJRI96QnlB9zZyLeug8TmgqRxO5Zc9JCaK9OKaVMlCzt39AqS8WzAXSuzx-JsDUXL2FruQVUN3Bykv737SG1tTOGTSOa71W8FiZbMBUI4YmqI8R8uWnF60P3gMo2QhkT1Vy0hPUxQBdGuScn-eF3Dw8WYcEZqQOLDxI-09VcrTI5mXQo1UNrle4lX6AevKqVY04qjuL9acwPAmOKId2Zvqge7EBGSIiw8mkubOv1fWvrZ_A4WuTAH8I6EU_pfIm58K7n0jhooDmPOjgSrj5wL1_BeTw665FN0fmHEKHW4BLnPsMruizHOsKk5LWfGUyBGCanYvpBC2BSS4cSBd6oOV_cOZTi1Acr8I0Bs" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.tammywinn.com/music/</a>. It’s the 8th track on the “Calling Deep” album. May you be inspired!</p>
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<p>Nothing But Love<br>© Tammy Winn</p>
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<p>I can’t undo the hurt she’s done<br>Such a cold, cold past<br>But I offer you a safe space<br>A promise to last</p>
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<p>So come out to the fire<br>Circle ‘round ‘til you can trust<br>When you stop to warm yourself<br>You’ll find nothing but love</p>
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<p>I can’t stop the wind from blowin’ in<br>Memories that bite<br>But I’ll stay with you as morning comes<br>We’ll hold on through this night</p>
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<p>So come out to the fire<br>Circle ‘round ‘til you can trust<br>‘Cause when you stop to warm yourself<br>You’ll find nothing but love</p>
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<p>I can’t fight the ghosts left there on her battleground<br>I can’t steady the seas of her disaster<br>But I bring to you the only medicine I’ve found;<br>A love that stays in ever after…oh</p>
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<p>Come out to the fire<br>Circle ‘round ‘til you can trust<br>When you stop to warm yourself<br>You’ll find nothing but love</p>
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<p>Nothing but love<br>Nothing but love<br>My love</p>
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Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122192
2019-08-27T18:00:00-06:00
2021-08-02T03:13:05-06:00
Designed to Heal
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/5778fdf63134acad9c7ef3b54921c4635adfde51/original/69423963-2897380753610488-1057776373998813184-n.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Our bodies are amazing. Our earth is amazing. As one who believes there is a loving Source of all creation, I find it so comforting to experience the healing design of our existence. Let me be more specific…</p>
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<p>Not long ago I read that when a broken bone is healing, the fracture site gets stronger than the surrounding bone, for a period of time, until eventually the whole area is restored. Likewise, when we accidentally cut our skin, the process that takes place immediately after is remarkable. The wound drains itself to clean it out, the blood clots, a scab forms to protect the healing underneath, blood vessels bring oxygen to the injured area, and eventually new skin forms. These examples remind me of the beautiful truth that the body’s intention is to live, heal, and sustain itself. When we tune in to our bodies, they can prompt us toward what is needed. And the body is especially able to thwart off illness or harm when we embolden it with healthy self-care, such as good nutrition, exercise, sleep, play, practicing gratefulness, and intentionally sending loving thoughts toward ourselves and one another.</p>
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<p>Not only are our bodies programmed to support us, but so is the earth we live on. Those in my neighborhood may see me slip off my shoes from time to time to walk barefoot in the grass. This isn’t just me accessing my inner flower child (though that can be fun), rather I am promoting my body’s wellness by being conductive with the earth. This practice is called earthing or grounding, and there are decades of research on this modality for healing. In short, it has to do with the positively charged free radicals we humans acquire being neutralized by the earth’s surface, which has negatively charged free electrons. These free electrons essentially act like antioxidants. The earth helps stabilize and restore our wellness if we take time to connect with it. Earthing/grounding works to keep our bioelectrical systems operating smoothly, helps enhance our immune systems, reduces inflammation, improves blood circulation, and more! When you think about how removed we have become from the earth compared to our ancestors, it is exciting to reestablish that bond. We can celebrate that the earth, like our bodies, is designed to help its inhabitants heal! (To read medical studies on grounding visit Dr. Laura Koniver’s site: <a data-imported="1" href="https://www.intuition-physician.com/?fbclid=IwAR1uvTQXXD--AuMK1QSVkAAa7pB3yVKLK4xFn-hnob1-BavtWkGpkO3K79I">https://www.intuition-physician.com.</a> There you can also get a Free Grounding Guide.)</p>
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<p>Isn’t it fascinating and exhilarating to know there is an Intelligence at work, within us and around us, that consistently supports our well-being?! Let’s encourage one another to give this powerful, brilliant Love our attention, appreciation, and cooperation. May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122191
2019-08-22T18:00:00-06:00
2019-08-24T02:59:05-06:00
The Seven Cs of Balance
<p>Over a year ago I came up with a time designation method. This is because I had become frustrated that too often my days felt like they went by just digging out of piles or putting out fires. Many stay-at-home parents have shared how one can spend all day working, yet, by the end of it, feel as though he/she got “nothing” done. Plus, on the treadmill of daily life, it can be hard to set aside time for some things that might be perceived as “unnec<span class="text_exposed_show">essary.” However, the “unnecessary” items on the to do list are often what we need most for our well-being. </span></p>
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<p>All of this in mind, I took some time to examine my own process for productivity and what makes me feel most balanced. Eventually I identified seven areas that I aim to prioritize, at least in some kind of rotation, throughout the week. I call them the Seven Cs. They don’t all get equal time, but they are each important and deserve representation in the pie chart of my life. Here they are: </p>
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<p>1. CLEAN: Cleaning not only helps me get my house looking better, it also helps clear my brain so I can see the rest of what needs to get done. </p>
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<p>2. CARE-TAKE: This refers to the many assorted tasks that I manage on behalf of the family, and my volunteering responsibilities at church and school. </p>
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<p>3. CULTIVATE WELLNESS: Doing something for my physical health is the goal here, whether that’s going to the gym, taking a walk outside, going for a bike ride, etc.</p>
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<p>4. CLEAR CLUTTER: In a culture that inundates us with too much “stuff,” I need to stay on top of decluttering my habitat or my serenity gets crowded out. </p>
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<p>5. CREATE: I believe we all have the capacity to create (e.g. photography, gardening, baking, etc.) and that creating is actually a form of playing, which my soul needs. </p>
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<p>6. CAREER TIME: This is time I spend on advancing and offering my work as a writer, recording artist, and teacher. </p>
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<p>7. CONTEMPLATE: As a contemplative person by nature, I try to take time to intentionally rest, meditate, reflect, and pray about whatever my spirit brings to the surface.</p>
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<p>Not only does this mix of the Seven Cs work for me individually, but I often engage our children in this flow and enjoy the variety together (Note: Their “career” time is school work or the like.). Of course there are other aspects of our weekly life that happen, in addition to these Seven Cs, but I’ve found it helpful to at least have some kind of guide to reference when I feel things are getting out of whack. </p>
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<p>Perhaps, if you haven’t already, you’ll want to spend some time considering (or reevaluating) what you need in the rhythm of your life, in order to maintain equilibrium. May you be inspired!</p>
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Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122190
2019-08-15T18:00:00-06:00
2020-09-03T11:52:54-06:00
Cherishing Today
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/6c7d80f181b290f8c4df4af071dde078234e4249/original/68240735-2873814172633813-4952965842049433600-n.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Occasional sadness is such a normal part of our human experience. We can go through moments of grief when life poses a change we don’t feel ready for or when an expected loss looms. We can encounter whole chapters of grief when losing a dream or, even worse, a loved one. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to do with sorrowful feelings we cannot escape that seem to leave no productive path.</p>
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<p>I remember when my maternal grandmother was dying. I was 18 years <span class="text_exposed_show">old and went to see the pastor available to me at college (who went on to be a significant mentor and friend). I brought to him my desperate feelings of anticipatory bereavement. His words woke me up as he alerted me to the reality that I had the rest of my life to grieve my grandmother after she dies but, for now, I’d be wise to be as present to her as possible in the time we have remaining. I am so grateful he spoke that truth to me as it made a difference in my final visits with her — memories that I will always treasure.</span></p>
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<p>Likewise I recall the day my mother was signed up for hospice. It was such an awful feeling of admitting that cancer would have it’s way with her body. We didn’t know if she’d have weeks or months, but we knew we were in the final stretch of togetherness on earth. I stayed over at the hospital that night. The next morning my mother awoke so sad and afraid about what was to come. Despite my own fears, I took a sober look at the day we had before us and I told her with confidence, “Well, mom, I don’t think you’re going to die today… and I don’t think you’re going to die tomorrow even.” That observation lifted her spirits as she acknowledged that it was true, she wasn’t going to die that day. And this is how we lived going forward, one day at a time, until weeks later when she slipped into a coma and eventually passed. </p>
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<p>When confronted with a painful reality that raises a flag, alerting us transition or loss is on it’s way, I think it’s healthy to pause and acknowledge that heartache. It is good to be gentle with ourselves at such a tender time. Yet I also think it’s okay to put a foreboding message on the shelf a bit, so that we can still cherish the day that is before us, as it is. This isn’t to be confused with denial. We can realize the limitations of a situation and, at the same time, give the light it’s rightful place before the sun fully sets. And when that dark night comes, we can then give grief the full attention it deserves… but not a moment sooner. May you be inspired!</p>
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Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122189
2019-08-09T18:00:00-06:00
2020-09-03T11:53:20-06:00
Evaluating Values
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/4a9b6bfea284209dcd85db6654a1409de3abcc40/original/68604063-2862441580437739-5543994436226121728-n.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />This week it is my hope that I’ve turned another year wiser. Birthdays, and other occasions that mark the passage of time, often bring forth a period of focused reflection for me. Inevitably I end up sitting with some familiar questions, such as: Am I prioritizing what gives my life health, meaning, and joy? Am I being fully present to what really matters to me? And, what are my goals for living well and on purpose in the year ahead? </p>
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<p>These questions<span class="text_exposed_show"> cause me to think of an exercise I once learned that helps to distinguish a value from an ideal. The way to know the difference between the two is by where time is spent. If it is a value, it will hold some space on the calendar. An ideal, however, is something we want at some point, down the road, but we aren’t quite ready to sacrifice for it just yet. </span></p>
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<p>The reality check comes into play when we list what we think our values are, and then log beside each one an approximation of how much time we have actually spent on it. For example, perhaps your values include things like physical fitness, having family meals together, and advocating for the marginalized in society. Now ask yourself how much time have you spent on each of these said values in the past year? Is it daily, weekly, monthly? If the answer is hardly at all or none then it’s not really a value, rather it is an ideal. And that’s okay, ideals are worthy concepts to which we can aspire, a starting point of sorts. Yet the distinction is important: a value is what we actually live out.</p>
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<p>In taking a truthful look at how we spend our limited time (and with whom), we can either affirm that our values are on the mark or not. Thankfully we can make adjustments when necessary, to bring an ideal into the practiced value zone or to let go of something that is no longer relevant. This requires a certain amount of introspection, vigilance and discipline. In our manic society (as author Robert Holden calls it), it can be quite counter-cultural to make room in our schedules to really tune in to how we’re doing in this life experience. Yet the discoveries that come from pausing to evaluate can be liberating as we free ourselves up to live more authentically. And, as I am blessed to be starting another journey around the sun, I realize once again just how valuable that is. May you be inspired!</p>
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Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122188
2019-08-01T18:00:00-06:00
2021-04-21T11:04:56-06:00
Swim On ~ A Song
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/5cfb6e7d5a46e09f402c7dd14e72a8303fd9076d/original/fish.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Years ago, when single, I wrote a song called “Swim On,” that plays on the familiar sentiment about there being plenty of fish in the sea. One message of the song is that, while navigating the dating scene in hopes to find a life partner, there is no need to lower one’s standards. “Swim On,” celebrates the value of knowing and loving one’s self enough to be really discerning when pairing up. And ultimately throughout life, regardless of relationship st<span class="text_exposed_show">atus, it’s so important to know how to be your own best friend. You can listen to “Swim On” on the MUSIC page of my website. It’s the fourth track off of my last album, “Calling Deep.” Click here: <a data-ft="{" data-imported="1" data-lynx-mode="origin" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tammywinn.com%2Fmusic%2Fa%2Fcalling_deep%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR1FQyt06CzNh75v8WCSL_b5_lBCeSa0VQiV4TV_8l4plRGhY1ocrTNs_vw&h=AT2YomH0N--oy92Pm5Qa9vzmAfngUEiUrGVlOC9-6K7V5TMQC5ztFhv538LCwjE7MwYhO6VFZYLsdYJomCgch7Jp9pHRcW19R7LBIoqDagRbkHJQJALqFJoId6zF_0YN0uUYYo_YK6XDa8BtOpoRzZhoiujuDmdM0leR7vxLa3IHHe5T3mY3qA_em-o05Ahr1Bgred6HEpyqR_yyWr36rzu91InJ1bKMR_Cej0F1_KoLSdJ5qSvyp_1zalkcJCQgTB60Tc78J4mUeSrAfnpXUsSrQozRcblPTnye42B8yq88lhQ2LO8DakBdoLzn0axQYa5GS45JokIDVIvYq1xVkDJnUvm1aSEjGnVlWkAwBNDTX5CvhQnH-ZYHYWbTKqvtRQT9_CK-59qWtUZueFGSdFjJxyp1Pq0OOhycrm6Czn5RNstHcNkGOQvRrlZ-GgjHOyw__daRPKahkDyh8bYAGBppNMUOUo8-ivL3UUQWpCK_Z79C93vMIOSV3gQ4ZURVqMmdwiMWEaBd_G2DYKU2ZGJ-SYAers9JertzRGIOqugMkBYS_SEYibWcbe93a0QS5f6XmHrHyCNbLDwU9c7nn30LJKtJjFx_0H_eB6Ux3BR1sisLWz_qNN2cPwC52Z7LNExvVDY" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">https://tammywinn.com/music</a> <br>May you be inspired!</span></p>
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<p>"Swim On"<br>© Tammy Winn</p>
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<p>I don’t think in terms of heaven and hell <br>I don’t bank upon equations or spells<br>I’ve found something larger I can sink my teeth into <br>Freedom to love; freedom to choose</p>
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<p>Sometimes I loose track of my truest self<br>I get caught up tryin’ to be like somebody else<br>But it comes full circle and I see that I should stay<br>Just who I am; how I’ve been made</p>
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<p>So many fishes in the sea; so many possibilities<br>I’m not gonna stop at Mr. Wrong<br>So many chances I can take; <br>so many ways my heart may break<br>But ‘til I find the place where I belong<br>I’m gonna swim on</p>
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<p>6.5 billion people in the world<br>There’s bound to be somebody right for this girl<br>So I’m not gonna choose a man in arbitrary haste<br>This love I have is too good to waste</p>
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<p>So many fishes in the sea; so many possibilities<br>I’m not gonna stop at Mr. Wrong<br>So many chances I can take; <br>so many ways my heart may break<br>But ‘til I find the place where I belong<br>I’m gonna swim on<br>I’m gonna swim on</p>
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<p>So many fishes in the sea; so many possibilities<br>I’m not gonna stop at Mr. Wrong<br>So many chances I can take; <br>so many ways my heart may break<br>But ‘til I find the place where I belong<br>I’m gonna swim on<br>I’m gonna swim on<br>Swim on</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122187
2019-07-25T18:00:00-06:00
2020-09-03T11:53:57-06:00
Looking at Leadership
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/11d6fe8d1142bf1e35d6c54e0fa7e477c3371cbe/original/67322541-2834279816587249-6012436159739723776-n.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Lately my family and I have been talking about what makes someone a great leader. With all that is in the news these days, this has been a valuable discussion to have, particularly with our daughters. Children often see authenticity so clearly that it is they who can remind us grown ups of the standards we ought to hold for ourselves and for those who influence us. In our narrowing down a list of essential qualities that we believe excellent leader<span class="text_exposed_show">ship requires, five questions emerged. </span></p>
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<p>1) Does the person have INTEGRITY? “Integrity,” the dictionary states, is “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principals.” That makes the top of the list, because there’s nothing to work with if you don’t have integrity. </p>
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<p>2) Is the person INTELLIGENT? Having assured one has a strong character, the next quality a leader needs is to be intelligent. As a good friend of mine says, there are many forms of intelligence. It’s is not just about academics and high IQs. Intelligence includes really knowing yourself and your skill set so you can be clear about what you have to offer. It also includes the ability to reason things out and discern wisely. </p>
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<p>3) Is the person PRODUCTIVE (i.e. do they get proven results)? Assuming one has solid integrity and intelligence, people expect a leader to demonstrate that their work makes a positive difference in their sphere of influence (e.g. a team, company, society, etc.). Being productive is about achieving something significant and of worth to others.</p>
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<p>4) Is the person CREATIVE? Productivity is greatly enhanced when a leader has also developed the ability to be creative. Creativity can take many forms, be it resourcefulness, innovation, or utilizing imagination to think outside the box. Embedded in creativity is the willingness to take risks. Thus, creativity requires a unique form of courage.</p>
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<p>5) Is the person INSPIRING? We want a leader to have the capacity to challenge us and to move us, at the soul level, toward an improved way of being. A great leader knows how to cultivate a vision laden with purpose, teach it in a way that connects individuals, and therefore motivates them to participate meaningfully. Powerful inspiration has the capacity to bridge today with tomorrow by means of joyful anticipation. Simply put, inspiration fosters hope.</p>
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<p>These five qualities may seem obvious and, of course, there are many more ways to describe a great leader. Yet starting with these questions — when looking at all kinds of leaders in our midsts as well as simply looking at ourselves — can be a helpful analysis that initiates improvement. May you be inspired!</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122186
2019-07-18T18:00:00-06:00
2020-09-03T11:54:34-06:00
Judgements Unpacked
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/8ebbcf8ff6a74d8be7ff174fea533c5122ff618a/original/67355032-2821127751235789-3793366028369526784-n.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I recall a time, years ago, when I liked to think of myself as nonjudgemental. After all, I get along with most people, I respect various viewpoints, and I value giving others the benefit of the doubt. Then a smart friend of mine declared with such clarity the simple truth that, of course, all humans are judgmental. We need to be in order to navigate our lives in terms of preferences and ultimately for survival. She flipped my notion of being j<span class="text_exposed_show">udgmental from a negative quality to, at times, a very positive, imperative one. Judgements build personalities and develop wisdom. Judgements are a helpful form of reasoning indeed… to a point. </span></p>
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<p>As useful as they are, judgements can also fool us when we cross into shadow territory. When used as a means to separate us from others and artificially self-soothe, judgements become destructive, such as “Well at least I’m not bad as she is.” It seems to me that, more often than not, within the judgements of others lie insecurities of our own. For example, Shannon may judge that Jennifer spends way too much money on clothing, but hiding beneath that criticism is the truth that Shannon feels insecure about how she looks right now in her own clothes. By judging Jennifer, Shannon feels superior to Jennifer for just a moment and pushes away the pain she actually feels about the subject. The toll of the unexamined judgement, however, is a relational fracture (even if only in one’s mind) and the missed opportunity to deal with a personal issue needing attention (i.e. Shannon working on what she can do to feel better about how she looks). How clever the ego is!</p>
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<p>I’ve found that I can usually tell whether a judgement is actually useful or detrimental by looking at the content of the situation and getting really honest with myself. For example, if the judgement is, “He spends way too much time playing golf,” the questions I might ask myself are, “Am I jealous of him in some way?” or “Is there something I wish I had more time to do?” or “What do I associate with playing golf that makes me uneasy?” It can require a bit of inner reflection to get at the root insecurity hidden in unproductive judgements, but that effort makes possible potential growth and improved connection with others. Next time we catch ourselves passing a judgment on a fellow human being, let’s unpack it and explore if it’s beneficial and, if not, let’s welcome the invitation to make an improvement in our own lives. May you be inspired!</p>
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Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122185
2019-07-11T18:00:00-06:00
2020-09-03T11:55:47-06:00
Spirit Unfolding
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/c39fd66f08311267f2ab526fe0e53e7d5a98f01c/original/66494271-2807973035884594-3957568486430998528-n.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Seven years ago our family had a streak of five moves in a three year span. From 2012 to 2015, it went something like this: house to apartment, house, apartment, apartment, house. Our daughters were just two years old and six months old when this hectic stretch began. Now that we’ve been in one place for a few years, I’m at last diving into some boxes of their precious artwork that had been stored and shuffled around during the many moves.</p>
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<p>This task has <span class="text_exposed_show">caused me to look deeper into why I keep these collections in the first place. As an artist myself, I cherish the privilege of witnessing the creative process each of my children embark upon, whatever form that may take. Tuning into their expressions and discoveries can be an amazing experience of spirit unfolding. As the years roll on, I see themes emerge while they hone their skills to convey who they are and what they offer the planet. Tangibly holding something one has crafted with pride can be an incredible means for such reflection and joy. The human capacity to create is a beautiful gift indeed and, I believe, enhances our connection to the Source of Life. </span></p>
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<p>Regardless of all the moves, I’ve always had a wall dedicated to displaying the girls’ original artwork. Once it is full, we take a picture of them next to the gallery, then recycle much of it, keep our favorites, and repeat. The favorites collected are now in binders, one for each year, marking their journeys of self-revelation. The girls look upon them as special treasure troves. These portfolios of memories behold their imaginations translated from mind to page. How grateful am I to be a “keeper of the stories” for them in this way. </p>
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<p>In what ways do you see spirit unfolding in your life, and how might you honor it? May you be inspired!</p>
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Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122184
2019-07-06T18:00:00-06:00
2021-12-01T12:44:36-06:00
Calling Deep ~ A Song
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/08ac97133c48481b3126f1d4b95ed9e37bb90448/original/albumart-tannwinn4-200x200.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The title track of my last album, “Calling Deep,” is an expression of a journey inward after heartbreaking loss. This journey included confusion, surrender, and sorrow. It also included finding a path to where hope is embedded in the soul. This month marks 12 years since my mom passed away, and I dedicate this post to her. The lyrics say, “somehow I trust you’re not far,” and such has been my experience throughout significant loss. Much like the s<span class="text_exposed_show">cientific conclusion that energy cannot be destroyed, only changed, so too I believe it is with spirit -- the energy of love. That loving energy surrounds us all. You can listen to “Calling Deep” on the MUSIC page of my website: <a contents="https://tammywinn.com/music" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://tammywinn.com/music">https://tammywinn.com/music</a> <br>It is the 8th track. May you be inspired!</span></p>
<div class="text_exposed_show">
<p>Calling Deep<br>© Tammy Winn</p>
<p>I’ve lived with myself oh so long<br>Never thought I didn’t know me<br>But you were always here and now you’re gone<br>Leaving something else to see</p>
<p>Life without you<br>Brings forth a new view<br>Inside of me<br>Where deep is calling deep</p>
<p>Intellect can know days are few<br>And blood can tell you time is up<br>Still hope lingers on in the tiniest spots<br>Waiting to call death a bluff</p>
<p>Life without you<br>Brings forth a new view<br>Inside of me<br>Where deep is calling deep</p>
<p>Closure is a myth<br>As long as I live<br>I will bear this sorrow like a scar<br>But even though I grieve<br>All that couldn’t be<br>Somehow I trust you’re not far</p>
<p>Life without you<br>Brings forth a new view<br>Inside of me<br>Where deep is calling deep</p>
<p>Deep is calling</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122183
2019-06-25T18:00:00-06:00
2023-12-10T12:08:30-06:00
Welcome, Summer!
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/dfe2d83f7f466a3f379e68e67b453ff219fc3b2e/original/photo-1558475691-0836f3c19ab6.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Here, in the Northern Hemisphere, we recently enjoyed the summer solstice, which ushered in the official start of summer at last! Welcome the long, warm days that entice us to venture outside, mingle with neighbors, and embark on activities that only come with the company of sunshine. My family has been enjoying time at the local pool, gardening, playing outside, and more!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I love living in the Midwest, with four distinct seasons that offer inhabitants a s<span class="text_exposed_show">plendid variety. These changes help keep us from getting stagnant. They also help us name the natural rhythms of our lives. Each season can serve as a beautiful metaphor for the many significant shifts we encounter over time… the gathering of wisdom that autumn brings, the hibernation for restoration that winter invites, the reawakening that spring births, and the grand flourishing that summer beckons.</span></p>
<div class="text_exposed_show">
<p> </p>
<p>As this lovely season of summer gets underway, I pause to take it all in and contemplate where my inner life lines up with the natural world around me. I’m inspired by the phrase credited to Saint Francis de Sales, a patron saint of writers, which says, “bloom where you are planted.” And so I ask myself, in what ways am I being invited to grow, here and now? How can I thrive today? These questions in mind, perhaps together we can practice being present to the grand flourishing within and around us this summer. May you be inspired!</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122182
2019-06-20T18:00:00-06:00
2020-09-03T11:41:41-06:00
Messiness Can Be Beautiful
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/5efa28cccd90e1e50449cf9a5a4498c50cbf13a5/original/64740739-2769379866410578-666842777065095168-o.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Five days ago we returned from a road trip vacation where we drove entirely around Lake Michigan, camped half of the time (once in the rain!), and enjoyed adventures that involved two other great lakes, Huron and Superior. It was wonderful! And then we came home to a house in need of cleaning, heaps of laundry, and all that goes with un-packing after 8 days on the road. Add to that the usual scramble to catch up on all that was moving forward<span class="text_exposed_show"> while we were away… and all that was put on hold, still patiently waiting for some attention. I dove in and got started, but then I got sick for a few days and had to surrender to living in an overwhelming mess much of this week. And though it drives me crazy, I’m trying to embrace this tension as a spiritual practice.</span></p>
<div class="text_exposed_show">
<p> </p>
<p>I was led to thinking of the Jason Mraz song “A Beautiful Mess” and especially the lyric, “Hey, what a beautiful mess this is…It’s like picking up trash in dresses.” Such is my life many days, an oxymoron of sorts. For example, I do thrive in clear and clean spaces yet I’m often not living in them. And when I see a friend’s home all put together and spotless I think somewhere, along the way, I must have missed the day magic wands were being handed out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, then, what is the invitation for me?… To embrace the beauty in the mess AND to realize that every choice I make eliminates other choices. For example, why was the house in need of cleaning upon our return? Because I decided to use my housekeeping time prior to our trip to get ready for the trip. That choice eliminated the option of coming home to a clean house. That choice also allowed for the beautiful part: making great family memories to last a lifetime. Is the beauty worth the mess? Completely. And at the same time it’s okay, important even, for me to also balance in choices that prioritize my need for for a peaceful habitat… which reminds me, I’d better get back to cleaning soon. <span class="_47e3 _5mfr" title="smile emoticon"><img src="https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t4c/1/16/1f642.png" class="size_orig justify_inline border_" alt="" height="16" width="16" /></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Many of us have more demands upon us than we have hours (or minutes)… many of us do a quick prioritization daily, and let the rest fall through the cracks. Maybe we can console ourselves by recognizing the many blessings that require a bit of chaos, and actually see that indeed messiness can be beautiful. May you be inspired!</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122181
2019-06-16T18:00:00-06:00
2020-11-06T19:18:39-06:00
Choosing A Perspective
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/21d595381dbb43a5678670bf39fea76eb8413a08/original/magnifying-glass.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The word perspective has a few meanings. One, pertaining to drawing, is to give an accurate impression and location of an item in relation to another, when viewed from a particular point. It also means to look through or closely at something, to see it more clearly. This word has to do with a sense of relationship, a frame of reference, and interpretation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The way we see things in life is largely a result of what has formed us and of where we s<span class="text_exposed_show">tand. I’ve been considering how my perspective can generate suffering or serenity, joy or unease. Like an artist with a canvas, I get to choose which thought I want to be front and center. Will it be the nightly news… or the beauty of our children’s lives unfolding? Will it be the person who treated me poorly… or on the many who love me well? Will it be all I haven’t gotten done on my list… or that which I did mange to take care of rather well today?</span></p>
<p><span class="text_exposed_show"> </span></p>
<div class="text_exposed_show"><p>We can always reach for a more life-giving thought. It requires intentionality to make that shift in focus. Often it helps to have a trusted friend or mentor assist us to see around our limited viewpoints, to not take ourselves too seriously, and maybe even to have a good belly laugh instead. Let’s aim to refresh our eyes and consciously view the good before us. It’ll be worth it. May you be inspired!</p></div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122180
2019-06-05T18:00:00-06:00
2020-11-06T19:12:47-06:00
Like Bing ~ A Song
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/70ba6050d678a9e33a762dbb72b2a37e3c339d50/original/dad.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />For this post I’m featuring the song “Like Bing,” in honor of my dad, who died 13 years ago this month. “Like Bing” is a tune that captures my appreciation for the classy era of performers my parents enjoyed and shared with me while I was growing up. My dad especially cultivated in me a love for music. I have great memories of singing and harmonizing with him on road trips. And to this day, I love hearing Bing Crosby’s voice, as it calls to mind som<span class="text_exposed_show">e treasured good times. To hear, “Like Bing,” visit <a data-ft="{" data-imported="1" data-link-type="page" data-lynx-mode="origin" data-lynx-uri="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tammywinn.com%2Fmusic%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR1ugBf5HXUYEkxfC4wurKsS0WaOSnVD_kcERCBLeARXOhj1ElnmDosD9j4&h=AT0aPiNRcUXudLyn2S0HyB6rmAvLKHKZjAHp8UmwY7H_WpvFxL5idxMf-sgIO8xjVm3iPpunHCJOO40AzB88Y8DEAqUAfhywc37IzgY9Bc3Fpkvhic5VDgqYPWZj3D10-yvanLgbJqLVeXQmTb-oWksDFYhAZGpYJpTJ3qopfMEh8p_tjuDCUVI6s9bt-bwDWmISTupP8LAcOqEDZBvhWOfMVu_h-91DOnoGA0WdJR3q63-gPE59PB5bh3cx4has-P5mCr1yiQs7OpSXBtUIgLVapqW8S1pQAkhVXer1AFukVINjtTs4xRD8t_9DyH_qkOhs8YK9NWxldytQD_09MiC4JzKBo3KsfpYhUmIjE-hvbKl1qDSGZIjGpwAxEgRngiZy7M-0drNvbcT917NtwBZJWxhMwetVYAm6aEDqEhI2cOTZGsxAaoOP3gIYF6th5Yxes8UsVVpzjDMhutjy1W1OrWMlKUJf-YaEioxwMxiYVRQ-Uqwzp9wF6E5At4H7FSj_pa3gd_aUJ9AHOTVzMMqBLG_BbUw411Bc0RKIQalSaInxy0W9bOZbgdpG2dIzhfvVdF_FPfCYjFNwvi5J9AYkIraTgpD84oMxUXzOS1kEHJtcR54kue3IVUMuF6Ugb-mexF0" href="/music" rel="noopener nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.tammywinn.com/music/</a>. It is the fifth track on the “Calling Deep” album. May you be inspired!</span></p>
<p> </p>
<div class="text_exposed_show">
<p>"Like Bing"<br>©Tammy Winn</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Give him eyes like Clark Gable<br>Let him dance like Fred Astaire<br>Make him classy like Sinatra<br>And he can take me anywhere</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Have him smile like Elvis<br>Furnish fun like Milton Berle<br>Grant a wonderful life like Jimmy<br>So he’ll win over this girl</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just don’t forget one very important trait<br>This may be the most essential thing<br>For the beau of my dreams I wish to have<br>A man who can sing like Bing</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Garnish charm like Bob Hope<br>Build in soul like Nat King Cole<br>With one hundred years like George Burns<br>He’ll match my every goal</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Just don’t forget one very important trait<br>This may be the most essential thing<br>For the beau of my dreams I wish to have<br>A man who can sing like Bing</p>
</div>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122179
2019-05-28T18:00:00-06:00
2020-11-06T19:15:04-06:00
Make it a Good Apology
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/cbfebd9a02d30bc8c13594491f3285c868aba135/original/flowers-in-hands.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />What a difference a good apology can make in our relationships! Though actions do speak louder, words certainly help start the healing. An apology that begins with “I’m sorry YOU feel…” just doesn’t cut it. The word “you” should never follow sorry, if we really mean to take responsibility. Instead, the word “I” should follow, as in “I’m sorry I did…” Without that real ownership for the misdeed, the person harmed won’t likely find the apology very sincere. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I recently heard Rabbi Steve Leder explain the four steps of an apology according to the Jewish tradition. Step one, stop the bad behavior, period. Two, truly feel regret about the harm done, face it. Three, confess the sin out loud and specifically tell the person you hurt “I was wrong” as part of your apology. And four, make a plan to never repeat it again, something tangible to really make a change.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>How often we fall short of even naming our bad behavior, let alone stepping up to the plate to address it with self-discipline, heartfelt remorse, honest words, and living amends. What are we afraid of? Surely staying stuck in the transgression isn’t peaceful. Will it be embarrassing? Maybe. Could the other person use it as leverage? Possibly. Don’t they owe us an apology for something too? Probably. But instead of attaching to an outcome, we need to keep the focus on freeing ourselves. Let’s make our apologies worthwhile. May you be inspired! </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122178
2019-05-21T18:00:00-06:00
2020-11-06T19:15:47-06:00
Meeting with Possibilities
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/86d810a955106d0c452af30aee977b6265320ddf/original/guitar.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Like many people, I tend to gravitate toward what comes easily to me. Writing, singing, and learning about spirituality fell into that category early on in my life. What has not been quite so automatic, however, is playing guitar at a performance level. I’ve learned and practiced enough to write and play chord structures for my original tunes but, beyond that, I haven’t reached an intuitive place with it. Instead I enlist my dear friend and professional musician, Troy Fannin, to accompany me with all the frills. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>For a while I just accepted I had guitar-playing limitations, and instead focused on working hard at what came naturally — lyrics, melodies, harmonies, stories, theology, etc. I’ve realized, however, there is value in making time to meet with the very capabilities that challenge me. Now I make “dates” with my potential skills on a regular basis, in order to form a patient relationship with them. Together we keep reasonable expectations: progress, not perfection.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Today I play guitar with delight for the learning process, and I leave behind any self-imposed burden of reaching some arrival point. A natural byproduct of this approach is discovering new abilities that end up enhancing my songwriting after all. I still don’t aim to be a concert guitarist, yet I’m having fun experiencing the creative growth that can happen when I simply show up. That in mind, I recommend lining up a date with some possibilities in your life. May you be inspired!</p>
<p> </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122177
2019-05-15T18:00:00-06:00
2020-11-06T19:19:29-06:00
God is Like a Good Mother
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/75a4fc435fc46f808f3c34d72614ac2c9c6cf48c/original/mom.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />…The scriptures today use a common metaphor that we’ve likely heard before: God is a good shepherd who tends to his sheep. That comparison would have been profound in the time of Jesus, as sheep were abundant in the Holy Land and shepherding was a vital occupation. Today, however, I offer you another metaphor (a simile actually) that may resonate more in our time: God is like a Good Mother who tends to Her children. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now, as a mom, I’m not trying to be self-promoting when I say that. :) Rather, I’m drawing upon the examples of many mothers I’ve been blessed to know and love. So, what is a mother?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To me, a mother is our first home. Quite literally for those of us raised by our biological moms, but just as true, albeit differently, if we were adopted, or if we have come to experience motherly love from a treasured aunt, grandmother, sister, or someone else who embodies this way of loving. They offer us shelter, the safest space wherein we are nurtured to grow and thrive, as well as where we are healed after a broken heart; a place of comfort. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mothers are often our first mirrors — the loving reflection that perceives every detail of who we are and says, with a gentle gaze, “You are precious, you are beloved, and you are worthy of infinite care always.” They are capable of profoundly reflecting back to us our innocence and innate goodness.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And mothers are one of the very first witnesses to our lives. Their presence and vigilance tell us that our comings and goings matter, that what we do and how we live matters. They notice us, and care about what our personal daily news is, even if it’s boring. :) They root for us, with a degree of faith few can match. Simply put, they are on our team to stay.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yes, God is like a Good Mother who tends to Her children.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Most of what I’ve learned about being a mother came from my own. I am the youngest of four, and we were blessed to have very good parents. Our mother was many things but, in a word, she was compassionate. She taught me to consider what the other person might be going through, to extend the benefit of the doubt, and to give second chances…</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>Devoted, empathetic, and self-sacrificing. My mother had these traits to a fault at times, but they also were her power — for everyone who knew her came away blessed by her because of these qualities. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yes, God is like a Good Mother who tends to Her children. </p>
<p>…</p>
<p>…for me, no experience on earth has been more vulnerable to me than being a mother. While that can cause me to utterly ache at times, it is in this very vulnerability that I truly live, with all the amazing tasks motherhood requires — to protect, teach, innovate, help heal, and so forth. It’s been my experience that motherhood is an opportunity to be more Christ-like.</p>
<p>… </p>
<p>Understanding God as a Good Mother is Life-Giving, especially for women who long to relate to an image of God that offers a likeness with which they can really identify… Which is why in our house we sometimes refer to God as She, so as not to lose sight of the beautiful and powerful feminine aspects of God reflected in our own divine nature… but that's a sermon for another time. :) </p>
<p> </p>
<p>…Today, my prayer for you, is that you may somehow feel God loving you, both intimately and infinitely — like a Good Mother — and that you know nothing could ever separate Her love from you.</p>
<p> </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122176
2019-05-06T18:00:00-06:00
2020-11-06T19:21:14-06:00
Relationship Inventory
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/108f6859bcfb76906dd6be827dd1a94d2664d60a/original/clocks.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Years ago someone told me that instead of doing New Year’s Resolutions, he would do a Relationship Inventory. Many of us may already do something like this once in a while, without realizing it. Yet there is something powerful about being intentional on this topic. After all, most people will tell you that relationships are their number one priority. Yet does our key relationship “currency” (i.e. time spent) confirm that value?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I came up with 10 questions to help me assess and reflect upon this area of life: </p>
<ol> <li>With whom do I spend my time? (Think of one person at a time through #7.)</li> <li>How much time do I spend with him/her?</li> <li>Why do I spend my time with him/her?</li> <li>Is it time well spent?</li> <li>Is it a fairly equitable relationship where we each give and take appropriately?</li> <li>Do I give more to that relationship, and am I okay with that because it serves a good purpose?</li> <li>Do I take more from that relationship, and am I okay with that because the other person has expressed a willingness to give to me in this way?</li> <li>With whom do I wish I had more time?</li> <li>With whom do I think it’s best to step back a bit, or all together, because the relationship is not life-giving?</li> <li>Do I spend enough time with myself?</li>
</ol>
<p> </p>
<p>Perhaps this spring you’ll want to evaluate with whom are you giving your precious time, and make any healthy adjustments needed. May you be inspired! </p>
<p> </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122175
2019-04-30T18:00:00-06:00
2020-11-06T19:22:05-06:00
Feel the Sun ~ A Song
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/478fdbed8696ed7afbc02dd5e19055059d91d96b/original/girl-in-sunshine.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />The lead track on my last album is called “Feel the Sun.” I wrote it at time when I was coping with deep loss, alongside dealing with a very distressing situation that spanned months. I was exhausted and depleted. Time spent in spiritual direction was one of my key lifelines, and I have been blessed with a very skilled director. She encouraged me along the path of healing with much wisdom and, at times, simple recommendations such as to get out in the sun again. This song is about hope on the path of self-revival. You can listen to “Feel the Sun” by using the <a data-imported="1" data-link-type="page" href="/music">MUSIC</a> page of this website. It’s the first track. May you be inspired!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Feel the Sun</strong></p>
<p>© Tammy Winn</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Collecting all my tears for you</p>
<p>Cause I know you’ll know what to do</p>
<p>When I run to blue</p>
<p>When I run to blue</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Funny how I’m not to see</p>
<p>The way the roots grow underneath</p>
<p>When I roll on green</p>
<p>When I roll on green</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Oh, all I want to do</strong></p>
<p><strong>Is feel the sun on my face again</strong></p>
<p><strong>And oh, what keeps me holdin’ on</strong></p>
<p><strong>Is trusting it comes round again</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Trying to choose good things to wed</p>
<p>Appreciating all you’ve said</p>
<p>When I pull on red</p>
<p>When I pull on red</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I close my eyes to see the light</p>
<p>And mediate on all that’s right</p>
<p>When I dream to white</p>
<p>And I dream to white</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Oh, all I want to do</strong></p>
<p><strong>Is feel the sun on my face again</strong></p>
<p><strong>And oh, what keeps me holdin’ on</strong></p>
<p><strong>Is trusting it comes round again</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Working on a peace that lasts</p>
<p>Practicing in overcast</p>
<p>And this too shall pass</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Oh, all I want to do</strong></p>
<p><strong>Is feel the sun on my face again</strong></p>
<p><strong>And oh, what keeps me holdin’ on</strong></p>
<p><strong>Is trusting it comes round again</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Oh, all I want to do</strong></p>
<p><strong>Is feel the sun on my face again</strong></p>
<p><strong>And oh, what keeps me holdin’ on</strong></p>
<p><strong>Is trusting it comes round again</strong></p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122174
2019-04-23T18:00:00-06:00
2020-11-06T19:26:05-06:00
Simplifying a Space
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/f759727caa5ad7ddaeca45292cc7dac3cac97afa/original/room-of-clutter.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Anyone close to me knows I value clutter-free spaces, despite my abilities to keep them that way. In our US culture, many of us have some “burden” of stuff, which is clearly a first world problem. In my case, I inherited a lot of items from my folks’ 40-year-marriage after they passed. Twelve years later, I’ve still got boxes in my basement from it all. Added to situations like this is the reality that our culture has developed an unconscious compulsion for more. This can, at times, become a real addiction and obstacle to our well-being. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Today many of us live in a cycle of disposable items - disposable clothes, disposable toys, disposable electronics, disposable housewares, etc. What was once considered a luxury is commonplace. What was once considered a lifelong treasure is easily replaced with the newest fad. Our sense of appreciation can be diminished by all we take for granted. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>In my own life, I’ve found that the more I have, the more I need to manage. This taking care of “things” swallows up time I’d rather spend elsewhere. Many of us have over-full lives as it is, so what sense is there in adding unnecessarily to that “to do” list (e.g. dust, sort, store) or to that budget line (e.g. hire someone to clean or launder, rent a storage unit)?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I have found that the less complicated I keep my material world, the healthier I feel. So I have an ongoing aim to simplify wherever I can. It’s definitely a work in progress with no firm arrival point, and I live with as many contradictions as the next person. That said, I keep trying, with small steps, to improve my surroundings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In what I’ve learned about various approaches to simplifying, three motivators have emerged. Each one resonates with me for different reasons:</p>
<p> </p>
<p>1) Environmentalism. For some, this means having just enough for the basics, bare bones living, seeking to share and maximize resources, no new purchases unless absolutely necessary. Examples: communal living, second-hand (or third…) furniture and clothing, choosing to use items until they are unrepairable rather than sending them to a landfill in order to get the newest model, etc. The emphasis on this approach is minimizing one’s environmental footprint. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>2) Creativity. This is all about clearing areas in one’s home to make space for inspiration to enter (i.e. one needs a blank canvas in order to paint a work of art). My favorite clutter coach Kerri Richardson’s motto is that if you don’t love it, use it, or need it… it’s clutter. Reducing what one has frees up time and energy previously spent on managing stuff to instead be used for advancing your dreams and simply playing more. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>3) Habitat. Keeping all of your heart’s desires, but in orderly fashion so you actually use and appreciate those items. For many, this turns into quality over quantity, such as having fewer, nicer items instead of many so-so ones. I’ve recently been intrigued by Marie Kondo’s Netflix show, “Tidying Up,” wherein the goal is to be sure that what you have brings you joy and if it doesn’t, bless and release it. Being comfortable and organized in your domain is the goal here.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Environmentalism, creativity, and habitat are great driving forces with their unique merits. They all apply the 3Rs — reduce, reuse, recycle — that simplifying typically requires. There can be, however, a “shadow” side to this process.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For some, to reduce may result in hastily throwing away perfectly good items (including food) that, with a little extra effort, could have been directed toward another who might need it. Reusing may lend itself to justifying the contrary action of hoarding items with the “maybe I could use this someday” mindset, leaving one in a heap. And while recycling is generally a good idea, it’s easy to slip into thinking over-consumption isn’t a problem because we can just recycle what we don’t want, when, in reality, recycling is quite a process, involving chemicals and byproducts that can be harmful.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As for me, I continue to build an inner awareness about what is clutter in my life and, bit by bit, I try to remove it while staying out of the shadows. You could say I’m making a spiritual practice out of managing my material world. The goal? Increased peace all around and, I must say, it works. :) May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122173
2019-04-16T18:00:00-06:00
2021-08-01T11:43:17-06:00
Metanoia ~ A Song
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/f14cf68629b7d9503d2d36c14974e666c0ee3e9c/original/photo-1586495985926-ea99a6161ac4.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />“Metanoia” is the name of a song released on my last album. It’s also a Greek word that denotes conversion. Literally it means “beyond the mind” and, in graduate studies, my teacher said the essence of the term is to “think differently.” This song is about letting go of distorted views and instead choosing more life-giving perspectives. In doing so, we set ourselves free to return to love. As we approach the religious holidays of Passover and Easter, it seems appropriate to share a message about the liberating and transformative shifts that can happen in our lives. To hear “Metanoia,” visit the <a data-imported="1" href="http://www.tammywinn.com/music/a/calling_deep">MUSIC</a> page of this website. It is the eleventh track on the “Calling Deep” album. May you be inspired! </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Metanoia</strong></p>
<p>© Tammy Winn</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Drunk on emotions</p>
<p>You’re lost in an ocean</p>
<p>Where all you can see is this ever blue-green</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At first it’s enticing</p>
<p>But soon it’s a vice and </p>
<p>When you see the horizon you’ll know what it means</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>To think differently</strong></p>
<p><strong>Beyond the mind</strong></p>
<p><strong>To all that could be</strong></p>
<p><strong>You’ve got to think differently</strong></p>
<p><strong>Return to love</strong></p>
<p><strong>And set yourself free</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Perversions of truth</p>
<p>Have surely robbed you</p>
<p>Of the honest expression born into your heart</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But stop playing the victim</p>
<p>Embrace all that wisdom</p>
<p>Trust your experience knows where to start</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>To think differently</strong></p>
<p><strong>Beyond the mind</strong></p>
<p><strong>To all that could be</strong></p>
<p><strong>You’ve got to think differently</strong></p>
<p><strong>Return to love</strong></p>
<p><strong>And set yourself free</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Metanoia</p>
<p>Metanoia</p>
<p>Metanoia</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Think differently</strong></p>
<p><strong>Beyond the mind</strong></p>
<p><strong>To all that could be</strong></p>
<p><strong>You’ve got to think differently</strong></p>
<p><strong>Return to love</strong></p>
<p><strong>And set yourself free</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Set yourself free</p>
<p>To think differently</p>
<p>Metanoia</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122172
2019-04-09T18:00:00-06:00
2020-11-06T19:37:53-06:00
Having a Spiritual Practice
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/4198d99216eba4f06ddb6c845cb5b72ac34e4aea/original/person-on-water-at-sunset.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I’ve always been drawn to spirituality and exploring the big questions of life. It’s fun (yes, fun) for me to contemplate the divine and bask in awe and wonder. Such metaphysical pondering makes me become conscious of something greater than myself. It also causes me to engage with my truest self.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There is a second part to contemplation for me, wherein something pivotal can happen. It’s when I actively listen. As I tune in attentively to a power beyond me, I find guidance and support. This practice helps me with everything from ordering my day to handling big decisions. The prompt can be as simple as “What is the most loving choice I can make?” or “What is the next right thing to do?” Then I wait. Listen.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I believe there is enlightenment and encouragement to be found in such spaces, in having a spiritual practice. Whether you call it prayer or meditation doesn’t really matter. It’s about acknowledging the part of our experience that is beyond the physical — an aspect that is intangible yet very real, like thoughts, feelings, energy, life force. So much that we cannot see affects our actions in the material world and with one another.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When I make having a spiritual practice a priority, life flows better. I’m more present. I have peace. All it takes is a moment to consciously connect with this Great and Holy Spirit. Let’s see where that might lead. May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122171
2019-04-02T18:00:00-06:00
2020-11-06T19:49:24-06:00
Ashes ~ A Song
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/7ceba329faff6bb4db84efc995352b56649c20f0/original/photo-1513086670993-297187d3a281.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />I wrote a song called “Ashes,” recorded on my album, "Calling Deep." It’s about hope, despite devastation, for something new to somehow be created out of the remains of broken dreams, broken hearts, broken lives and death itself. It applies to anyone needing restoration, and is also fitting for the Lenten season of renewal many are observing now. To hear “Ashes,” visit the <a data-imported="1" href="https://www.tammyannwinn.com/music/">MUSIC</a> page of this website. It is the second track. May you be inspired!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Ashes</strong></p>
<p>© Tammy Winn </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Pull me to your purpose; I’m down on bended knee</p>
<p>Can we use these ashes to fertilize new dreams</p>
<p>Otherwise they only serve to dirty up my skin</p>
<p>So please draw forth some meaning from this cold suffering</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Pain can be foundational for change and recompense</p>
<p>A raw, but sturdy building block that binds the hearts of men</p>
<p>And the privacy of hurt is a most universal truth</p>
<p>So come sit with my misery I’ll open up to you</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oh I wish it didn’t have to be</p>
<p>Yet I know it’s what makes us free</p>
<p>And by design we can trust that this is not the end</p>
<p>No, not the end at all</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tomorrow’s full of better times I’ll try to look ahead</p>
<p>Just give me one more moment here for reverencing the dead</p>
<p>Now I see what you’ve been trying to tell me all along</p>
<p>Ashes to ashes does not mean that we’re gone, no</p>
<p>Ashes to ashes means somehow we’re bound to carry on</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122170
2019-03-26T18:00:00-06:00
2020-11-06T19:52:31-06:00
The Evolutionary Work of Commitment
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/d7cd30ca00bfe7e561954167b0c627b8982e86d5/original/butterfly-metamorphosis.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Recently I was sharing within a spirituality group some frustrations I was having in one of my relationships. The leader of this group gave some great input, and I came away inspired on how to proceed. At the end, however, another person chimed in to suggest that I could just quit the challenging relationship. Though their comment came from a place of compassion, it made me shout on the inside: “NO!” Departure is not the track I am on here.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>While there are some circumstances in which the healthiest action is to discontinue a particular association, friendship, or family tie, too often I see people walking away from what is simply an invitation to love more deeply, both ourselves and others. Instead, I prefer the path that provokes me consider what is my part. For me, that examination often leads to greater healing and growth than would be found if I were to just take the next exit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I’ve learned that by doing the individual inner work required for my relationships to grow, there is a transformation in me that changes the way I offer love to another, and so follows that the dynamic of that relationship also changes, even if only a bit at a time. I have in no way mastered this process, but I do see it as the evolutionary work of commitment. Let us embrace the opportunities that invite us to an even greater experience of the connection upon which we human beings thrive. May you be inspired!</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122169
2019-03-19T18:00:00-06:00
2020-11-06T19:53:22-06:00
The Power of a Story Shared
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/1f6eda0566d5bfb1aa17a356b1395870cca13b2d/original/couple-talking-at-sunset.jpg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Not long ago I read Michelle Obama’s memoir and was moved by her candor and authentic journey - an influential story to be sure. And recently, my dear husband took me to see the amazing musical, Hamilton - another impacting story. With these example fresh in my brain, I am reminded of the incredible power a story has… especially when shared! </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Stories matter. It is why the motto representing my creative work is “Songs. Stories. Soul.” Songwriters always have a backstory for each tune they pen and it is in that background that the inspiration takes root. Why not share it? Chances are if you’ve experienced it, someone else has too. Herein lies the gift of sharing our stories: connection. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Our world revolves around stories. They’ve been shared for thousands of years at least, perhaps starting with drawings on a wall and eventually including around campfires, at dinner tables, inside parlors, and now we can also say around televisions and movie theaters as we tune in to hear a story. Stories inspire us, comfort us, challenge us. We all have several that lead up to this moment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sharing one’s story can require a strength in the vulnerability to really be seen. And it is in both the sharing of a story and the listening to one that often calls for the best in us to rise up and live authentically. As the great mythologist Joseph Campbell said, “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” May you listen, may you share. May you be inspired.</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122167
2017-04-08T18:00:00-06:00
2021-06-26T16:52:32-06:00
Another Way to View The Cross
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/f3182bb9a1648aed36f1e80f28a8d674aa814b8d/original/photo-1543949223-fd634d634e26.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />As Christians around the world enter Holy Week, I find myself considering the story of the crucifixion…again. (Keep in mind my background in Religious Studies makes this a natural thing for me.). This article makes some interesting points as it explores the common belief that Jesus died for all, to pay for our sins, so that we may be reconciled to God: <a data-imported="1" href="http://www.uscatholic.org/church/2012/03/us-and-our-salvation">http://www.uscatholic.org/church/2012/03/us-and-our-salvation</a> I’ve always struggled with that formula myself, that kind of atonement theology. Instead, what resonates deeper with me, is the idea that in Jesus’ unwarranted and horrific death, we see what sin looks like, and just how very ugly and destructive it is — when we persecute, or assassinate, the innocent because their views differ from ours, or we don’t like their perspective on God, or we feel threatened by their transformative (albeit peaceful) influence. And for some of us, we are simply complicit in this kind of violence because we stand by and do nothing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We can also see on the cross just how far Jesus’ love and integrity go — that he was willing to risk his own life for what he believed, for his teachings about peace, mercy, justice, and much more. What a challenge for any of his followers to consider — how far we would be willing to go to stand unwavering in our convictions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And so my prayer as Holy Week begins is that I let the cross “wake me up” to both my transgressions and my beliefs, so that I may better contribute to peace and goodness in our world.</p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122166
2012-10-30T18:00:00-06:00
2018-09-04T03:30:22-06:00
Spiritual Violence
<p><a href="/files/714597/spiritualviolence-final.pdf" data-imported="1">Click here to read.</a> </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122164
2010-01-20T18:00:00-06:00
2021-06-30T16:00:35-06:00
The Art of Spiritual Direction
<p><a href="/files/714595/spirituality-spring10.pdf" data-imported="1">Click here to read.</a> </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122165
2009-08-15T18:00:00-06:00
2018-09-04T03:32:14-06:00
Reiki as a Spiritual Practice
<p><a href="/files/714596/oct-nov-pg8-9.pdf" data-imported="1">Click here to read.</a> </p>
Tammy Winn
tag:tammywinn.com,2005:Post/6122168
2009-05-27T18:00:00-06:00
2020-11-06T20:28:37-06:00
Journeying Through Grief
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/392212/195b99fe83aacf844769b973207eb30b486f1842/original/photo-1516836554245-938416faa6ee.jpeg/!!/b:W10=.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" />To understand a loss, you first need to comprehend the blessing. I was blessed with two wonderfully devoted parents, both of whom I loved dearly. They were my two best friends in life, my two closest confidents, my best example of unconditional love and support. My parents were more present to me than any other people in my life, and they offered this same availability to my older three siblings. In a world where many are fortunate to have just one solid parent, we were incredibly fortunate to have two who were equally dedicated to the family, prioritizing our time together above all else.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It is within this context that perhaps you can imagine how devastated I was to loose my dad on Father's Day in 2006 and then, just 13 months later, my mom in 2007. I was hit hard with grief, as anyone who looses a loved one is. Regardless of my faith, my hope, my trust, this compounded loss felt like an awakened nightmare. I never felt more alone. All the elders in my family tree were disappearing – no grandparents on either side, and now no parents. Remaining were three uncles and one aunt by marriage, but they all lived out of state. My two sisters were married and busy with their own families, my brother lived out of state as well, and I was single. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>My parents were naturally a huge part of my life, but also on a very pragmatic level they had been such a significant part of my day to day living. For the most part, over the past 7 years I had lived with them or at least seen them both multiple times per day as I tried to take care of them. Their absence left a very large void. I found myself driving over to their house by habit, only to stop part-way there when I realized they were dead. I remember feeling like I just had to kill time living until I would die and could be with them again. There were days I wanted to crawl in the grave beside them and just get on with heaven, not because I didn’t value life but because I missed them so deeply and trusted heaven did not have such agony. Thankfully I began doing intentional grief work - in both a grief group and with my Spiritual Director.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I started with merely surviving. Through the wonderful advice and “permission” given by my grief counselor Kathy, I took time for deliberate self-care, giving myself an extended pass to be “off the map” for a while. I read books. I talked openly and honestly with trusted friends. I wrote in my journal a lot. I crafted songs about pain and hope. I turned to ritual to acknowledge special days, finding ways to honor them and share their spirit with others. I attended the grief group for 2 years in total, and I continue to allow myself to grieve as I need to, when it wells up within. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I have come to a few peaceful places of pause and contemplation. For example, my friend Pastor Rachel and I once discussed how heaven is a lot closer than we think. In other words, we often feel that it is some far away place, but instead perhaps it is like a second skin, so very close, and our loved ones are right here in spirit in ways we cannot even fathom.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I have also wondered why we, as humans, are so surprised about death when it is such a natural way of the world. I try to make peace with the impermanence of all things, trusting that the one constant is the source of all being, God. We, as part this one God must then too be constant in some way, and perhaps that is the soul life, which never does die. I wonder about the ideas surrounding the energy that animates our physical form, what many call the soul. Perhaps it is transmuted through the death process into a new way of being that we are never to comprehend in this round of existence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the near three years since my dad died, and the near two years since my mom died, I am reminded of the very true words a family friend, Father Vic, spoke at my dad’s funeral. He said, “Death may end a life, but it doesn’t end a relationship.” In some ways I feel closer to my parents than ever before because the barriers of the physical have been removed on their end and we can now communicate in a soul to soul way like never before. Perhaps its romantic imagination, but I have felt them more intricately alive and present to my life in many ways – including the ushering in of my life partner who I married in 2009 and the baby on the way in my womb.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I think too of the wise comment another pastor friend of mine, Jeff, said years after losing his dad. He said how the pain shifts in time from that raw ache to a more wondrous kind of pain. I agree, though I still experience the raw sometimes. This kind of pain is one of awe and wonder. If we embrace it, it can lead to such a deepening of faith and reverence for life. If we stay present to all we have learned through our losses, we can in fact live more fully because we know better what truly matters.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The words of yet another minister I once knew, Father Don, come to mind. He said at one point in his life he realized the ebb and flow of life. He said he has found perspective on how the ups and downs are to be expected in life. The hard times do not last forever, and the good times are preciously limited too. The message I get from that is when in a season of bad times, press onward because “this too shall pass,” and when the good times roll we would do well to fully embrace them while we can. With grief being one of my most profound teachers, it has been reinforced in me evermore to cherish each blessing this life offers.</p>
<p> </p>
Tammy Winn